to Hive being
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What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?
You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.
In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.
My Journey
I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.
The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.
Call for Co-Conspirators
This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.
Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).
You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.
My Hope
Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.
People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.
My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.
What to Expect
My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.
By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.
But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.
Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!
Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.
Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.
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Posts
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 37)
The text is a collage of fragmented thoughts and images that traverse themes of existential angst, morality, human behavior, and the search for meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe. It presents a kaleidoscope of scenarios and reflections that collectively explore the human condition’s darker and more absurd aspects. From “tumbling a toddler in the dryer for a five-count of cruel Mississippis” to “tribesmen puzzle over whites with pocket pussies,” the text juxtaposes violent, unsettling imagery with moments of introspection and philosophical musings. This technique not only shocks the reader into a heightened state of awareness but also invites them to ponder the deeper implications of each line.
The text’s structure mirrors the chaotic and fragmented nature of human consciousness, particularly in the face of existential dread. Lines like “there is life after high school (even if you let your teacher rope you up to his bedpost)” and “suicidal thoughts upon wake up” reflect a raw confrontation with trauma and psychological struggle. Meanwhile, philosophical inquiries such as “if you did not write the novel before retirement, odds are—” and “imagine the weight of consequence if everything really did recur eternally” grapple with the nature of purpose, time, and the significance (or insignificance) of human actions.
The recurring themes of shame, denial, and a yearning for meaning run throughout the text, forming a loose but powerful thread that connects its disparate elements. The piece suggests a world where actions, beliefs, and identities are fluid, often shaped by external pressures and internal conflicts. For example, the lines “ashamed of having the illness” and “disguising your voice, ashamed to call again for helpline reassurance” delve into the human experience of vulnerability and the stigma attached to it. These feelings of inadequacy and the desire to conceal them reveal the fragility of the human psyche when confronted with its limitations.
There is also a distinct exploration of power dynamics and societal norms. The phrase “headcase superpowers injected into mere socks just because you happened to be wearing them on the occasion of what you mistook for success” captures the absurdity of perceived authority or competence based on circumstantial or arbitrary factors. Similarly, “children waking up not knowing what the screams mean” speaks to a fundamental human fear of the unknown and the inherited trauma that shapes our understanding of the world.
The text culminates in reflections on death and the desire for survival, encapsulated in lines such as “death—that plummet to the prebirth blank, to the blackless noncolor a womb sees—spooked her less than the monomania to live.” This juxtaposition of life and death, of nonexistence and the frantic desire to cling to life, underscores the existential tension at the heart of the human experience. The reference to “the casino of cosmic roulette” suggests a universe indifferent to human suffering and ambition, where life and death are merely random occurrences in a vast, unknowable expanse.
Ultimately, the piece presents a bleak yet compelling meditation on existence, filled with moments of dark humor, surreal imagery, and profound insights into the human soul’s complexities. It challenges the reader to confront uncomfortable truths about life, death, and the meaning we impose on both, all while acknowledging the inherent absurdity of these pursuits.
An exploration of existential dread, morality, and human behavior through fragmented, surreal imagery, "tumbling a toddler in the dryer for a five-count of cruel Mississippis" challenges readers to confront uncomfortable truths about life, death, and meaning.
existential angst, morality, human behavior, existential dread, surreal imagery, absurdity, power dynamics, societal norms, philosophical inquiry, trauma, human psyche, life and death, cosmic roulette, vulnerability, shame, denial, dark humor.
My Struggles with the Family Fungus
"My Struggles with the Family Fungus" is a deeply personal and graphic narrative that explores the multigenerational transmission of trauma and pathology through the lens of a hereditary fungal infection. The piece unfolds as a memoir-style recounting of the author's childhood experiences with his grandfather's toenail fungus, a condition that symbolizes the pervading sense of decay and dysfunction within his family. The narrative is infused with vivid imagery and dark humor, presenting the fungus as a metaphor for the destructive cycles of poverty, neglect, and substance abuse that afflict the family. The author's descriptive language paints a picture of a life marred by hardship and deprivation, where unsanitary living conditions and a lack of proper hygiene are normalized. The narrative spans several years, detailing the author's own gradual succumbing to the family fungus, a process that parallels his increasing psychological distress and alienation.
As the narrative progresses, the fungus becomes a focal point for the author's obsessive-compulsive behaviors, driven by fear and shame. The condition represents not only a physical ailment but also a manifestation of his internalized trauma and anxieties. His extreme attempts to eradicate the fungus—ranging from home remedies to self-mutilation—highlight his desperate need for control in an environment where he feels powerless. These efforts, however, only exacerbate his condition and contribute to his sense of isolation and mental unraveling. The story also touches on themes of toxic masculinity and familial violence, as the author reflects on the impact of his father and grandfather's behaviors, which oscillate between negligence and aggression.
The narrative is not just a literal recounting of events but also a metaphorical exploration of inherited trauma and the often cyclical nature of family dysfunction. The author's internal monologue reveals a deep-seated fear of becoming like his predecessors, and his actions are driven by a desire to break free from the destructive patterns he has inherited. Yet, his repeated failures and escalating behaviors suggest a profound entrapment within these cycles, mirroring the tenacity of the fungal infection itself. The story culminates in an act of self-harm, which serves as a cathartic but ultimately futile attempt to purge himself of the physical and metaphorical infection that has plagued him for so long.
Darkly humorous narrative that explores the author's battle with a hereditary fungal infection as a metaphor for generational trauma and family dysfunction. The story delves into themes of inherited pathology, psychological distress, and the desperate quest for control. Generational trauma, family dysfunction, psychological distress, hereditary illness, obsessive-compulsive behavior, self-harm, toxic masculinity, poverty, neglect, substance abuse, childhood trauma, dark humor, memoir-style narrative.
Let's workshop this piece about the entanglement of familial history and inherited trauma, seen through the lens of an insidious toenail fungus that threads its way through generations. The narrative begins with a vivid, visceral account of the narrator's childhood, where Grandpa bribed them with obsolete arcade tokens to "play undertaker" to his grotesque, fungus-riddled toenails. This grotesque ritual, taking place in a home marred by poverty and neglect, is depicted in almost absurd detail: brittle, crumbling toenails, and the stale, yeasty smell that lingered on their fingers like a curse. The narrator's fear of the fungus takes root in these early years, cultivated by a dramatic intervention from Grandma, who drags them outside to scrub their hands with kerosene in a kind of frenzied, infernal baptism. This moment plants a seed of fear that lies dormant but never vanishes, much like the fungus itself.
As the story unfolds, we see the narrator grow up amidst familial chaos—divorce battles that are more like literal brawls, a stint in a foster home that feels more like a prison sentence, and a mother who falls into the arms of a man living in a pay-by-the-week motel room. The fungus serves as both a literal and metaphorical thread that ties these traumatic experiences together, representing not just a physical ailment but a deeper, inherited malaise. The narrator's father, a deeply troubled man living out of a car and appearing suddenly on a school bus with bare, fungus-infested feet, becomes a figure of simultaneous shame and sympathy. This incident reignites the narrator's fear of the fungus, which becomes an obsessive, almost superstitious fixation.
The narrative is punctuated by grotesque humor and dark, absurd moments—such as the narrator's father's drunken antics, or the bizarre encounters with figures like Paul, the drinking buddy with a 'trumpet lip' perfectly suited for chugging cans. Yet, beneath this dark humor lies a deep vein of trauma and unresolved psychological pain. The narrator’s struggle with the family fungus, a grotesque symbol of inherited dysfunction, leads to increasingly desperate measures. We witness the narrator's spiral into a full-blown obsession, culminating in self-mutilation as they attempt to rid themselves of the affliction once and for all. The narrative crescendos into a scene of horrifying clarity as the narrator, in a frenzy of rage and despair, chops off an infected toe with rusty loppers—a desperate act of self-purification that only deepens their sense of isolation and alienation.
Throughout, the fungus operates as a metaphor for generational trauma—an unwanted inheritance that spreads silently and inexorably, manifesting in both physical and psychological scars. The narrative explores themes of poverty, family dysfunction, and the struggle for personal agency amidst a backdrop of inherited suffering. It raises questions about identity, resilience, and the lengths one might go to in an attempt to sever ties with a past that seems doomed to repeat itself. The ending, a bleak but defiant note of ambiguity, leaves us pondering the ultimate cost of such a struggle—both in terms of what is lost and what, if anything, might be gained.
Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes
"Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes" delves into existential themes, exploring the paradoxical human instinct to cling to life despite the inevitability of death. The poem opens with a stark meditation on death, described as a "plummet / to the prebirth blank," evoking a return to a state of nonexistence akin to what is imagined before birth. The use of "blackless / noncolor a womb sees" employs a powerful visual metaphor to emphasize the unknowable nature of both prebirth and post-death states, suggesting a continuity of nothingness that frames human existence. This imagery effectively communicates the void that both precedes and follows life, challenging traditional conceptions of life and death as opposites; instead, they are presented as points within the same spectrum of non-being.
The poem then shifts focus from death to the fear that most unsettles the protagonist: not death itself, but the "monomania / to live." This phrase suggests a single-minded obsession or fixation on survival, hinting at an irrational, almost animalistic compulsion to continue living despite life's inherent suffering and futility. The metaphor of the "rabid grip" portrays this desire as something uncontrollable and primal, contrasting sharply with the abstract, almost serene contemplation of death. This compulsion is framed as a desperate attempt to hold onto something transient and inherently unstable—"disunity"—reflecting a human condition marked by fragmentation and a lack of coherence.
The poem’s dark climax arrives with the visceral image of parents drowning their own children "for one more gulp of airtime." This hyperbolic depiction of survival at all costs highlights the brutality of the instinct to live, where even the most sacred of bonds, that of a parent and child, can be sacrificed in the existential struggle for existence. The metaphor of the "casino of cosmic roulette" reinforces the randomness and unpredictability of life, likening human existence to a game of chance where the stakes are high and the outcomes are uncertain. It suggests that our desperate clinging to life is akin to a gambler’s last-ditch effort to win against the odds, an ultimately futile endeavor driven by a misguided hope for control over an uncontrollable universe.
Thus, "Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes" confronts the reader with uncomfortable truths about the human condition, questioning the rationale behind our fear of death and our equally irrational desire to live at any cost. By juxtaposing serene imagery of death with stark portrayals of life’s desperate instincts, the poem invites readers to reflect on the nature of existence, the inevitability of death, and the often self-destructive lengths to which humans will go to avoid confronting their mortality.
existential themes, fear of death, human condition, instinct to survive, existential paradox, life and death, cosmic roulette, monomania, fragmentation, survival instinct, poetic meditation, human mortality, casino metaphor.
Dry Hump Bully
The poem "Dry Hump Bully" captures the tumultuous experience of early adolescent sexuality, exploring the tensions between emerging desires and social condemnation. Set against the backdrop of a fifth-grade classroom, the poem's language suggests a collision between innocence and burgeoning eroticism, creating a potent contrast that underlines the confusion and anxiety of this developmental stage. The opening lines, "nostrils / sniffing something new," metaphorically convey the awakening of sexual awareness among young classmates. This "erotic frequency," resonant even in the "playscape tunnels," signifies a shift from childhood play to the recognition of sexuality, a shift both thrilling and disturbing.
The repeated chant of "Slut! Slut!" serves as a form of social policing, wherein the children, perhaps unconsciously, enforce cultural norms regarding sexuality. This chant, however, is more than mere name-calling; it reveals the precarious boundary between fascination and fear of the unknown. The playground—a space traditionally associated with innocence—is transformed into a site of both discovery and cruelty, where emerging sexual identities are met with scorn and ridicule. The children’s reaction, driven by both curiosity and the nascent shame surrounding sexuality, underscores the poem's exploration of early sexual socialization.
Amidst this public humiliation, the poem introduces a contrasting inner world, where the protagonist finds "relief" amidst "the crust / of midnight tears." This relief hints at a complex internal reconciliation, where the external shame is tempered by a newfound self-awareness. The use of imagery such as "long rising / like the cunt reek of plushies" starkly juxtaposes the visceral with the emotional, linking the physicality of early sexual curiosity with the psychological processes of coming to terms with one's desires. The reference to plush toys, objects of childhood affection, now tinged with an adult taboo, suggests a transitional state between innocence and experience.
The final line, "now drawn into alignment," indicates a moment of clarity or acceptance, where internal suspicions about one’s sexual self find validation, even if through painful social encounters. This alignment is not necessarily peaceful or positive; it is fraught with the same tension that pervades the entire poem. Yet, it represents a critical moment of self-understanding, a painful but necessary part of growing up. "Dry Hump Bully," therefore, not only captures the specific cruelty of childhood but also delves into the universal experience of coming to terms with one’s sexuality amidst societal expectations and stigmas.
Contrapuntal Daddy
"Contrapuntal Daddy" is a complex exploration of the interwoven themes of erotic desire, moral consciousness, and paternal instincts, structured within the context of DDLG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl) dynamics, a concept often associated with power exchange in sexual relationships. The poem employs a contrapuntal structure, where contrasting emotional currents—carnal desire and paternal protectiveness—are placed in tension with one another, akin to the interdependent yet independent melodies in a musical fugue.
The poem opens with the speaker's admission of a powerful erotic attraction toward a high school jazz starlet, signified by the phrase "DDLG desire," which immediately situates the reader within the controversial terrain of age-disparate desire and power dynamics. The metaphor "inseminating octaves" not only emphasizes the intensity of the speaker's lust but also evokes a musical imagery that aligns with the starlet's identity as a jazz musician. This dual reference to both physical and artistic creation complicates the speaker’s emotions, suggesting that his desire is both creative and destructive.
However, this rising desire is abruptly interrupted by an "inner light," a moment of self-realization or perhaps divine intervention, which halts the speaker’s violent fantasy of strangulation—a symbolic act that could be interpreted as an extreme manifestation of control or dominance inherent in DDLG dynamics. The phrase "astral prayers" to her father, which the speaker paradoxically addresses to himself as a father, introduces a layer of introspection and moral complexity. This moment of reflection suggests a rupture in the speaker’s identity: he is simultaneously the desiring subject and the protective father figure, creating a profound internal conflict.
The invocation of "telepathy" and "astral prayers" indicates a metaphysical dimension to the speaker’s turmoil, where he seeks to reconcile his base desires with his higher moral duties. The repetition of "Protect that little girl" serves as both a command and a plea, blurring the lines between the speaker's own paternal instincts and his recognition of the girl's vulnerability. This repetition underscores the speaker's struggle to align his actions with his moral compass, highlighting the dissonance between his role as a father and his inappropriate desires.
The poem’s brevity and its fragmented structure reflect the disjointed nature of the speaker’s thoughts, as he oscillates between his conflicting roles. The use of the term "contrapuntal" in the title is particularly significant, as it draws from a musical term that describes the technique of composing with two or more independent melodies that harmonize when played together. This not only underscores the duality of the speaker’s internal conflict but also suggests that these opposing desires—erotic and protective—are inextricably linked, forming a complex and unresolved emotional and ethical harmony.
"Contrapuntal Daddy" is a nuanced exploration of desire, power, and the complexities of the father-daughter relationship. Through its contrapuntal structure, the poem reveals the speaker's internal conflict between his desires and his conscience. The themes of protection and self-preservation are central to the poem, suggesting that the speaker's desires may be rooted in a longing for childhood innocence. By examining the implications of the speaker's internal conflict, the poem offers a thought-provoking exploration of human nature and the complexities of desire.
Amouage's Silver Oud
"Silver Oud" is an intricate exploration of a fragrance that combines the traditions of Western and Eastern perfumery with a contemporary edge. The author presents a thorough analysis of Amouage’s Silver Oud, emphasizing its unique position in the niche fragrance world as a composition that defies mass appeal in favor of artistic expression. The discussion begins with a reflection on Amouage’s creative trajectory under the direction of Renaud Salmon, compared to his predecessor Christopher Chong. The piece explores the skepticism surrounding Salmon's potentially commercial focus versus Chong's more avant-garde approach. The central focus, however, is on Cécile Zarokian's creation of Silver Oud, which is positioned as a fragrance that challenges conventional sensibilities with its dark, smoky, and complex profile.
The fragrance is characterized by a blend of earthy and animalic notes, including cypriol, patchouli, Assam agarwood, castoreum, and ambrarome, creating a scent profile that evokes images of decay, existential darkness, and the inevitable cycle of life and death. The author describes the scent's opening with a raw fecal note, likening it to compost rather than something offensive, which sets the tone for its earthy, animalistic undertones. Silver Oud's composition is noted for its ability to evoke both sensory and metaphysical experiences, drawing parallels to existential themes similar to those found in Stendhal’s novel "The Red and the Black." The novel's themes of authenticity versus social conformity are mirrored in the fragrance's defiance of mainstream tastes and its emphasis on raw, unfiltered naturalism.
Silver Oud is presented as more than a mere olfactory experience; it is an artistic statement about embracing mortality and the transient nature of life. The author contrasts this fragrance with others in the niche market, such as Zarokian's Ani and Nishane’s Unutamam, highlighting its ability to evoke stark, almost confrontational imagery. The fragrance is ultimately portrayed as a memento mori in scent form, with its smoky, woody, and ambery notes serving as a reminder of life's impermanence and the omnipresence of death. This existential framing elevates Silver Oud beyond a typical fragrance, positioning it as a philosophical reflection rendered in olfactory art.
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 36)
A fragmented meditation on the fractured and often dark realities of contemporary existence. Through a series of disjointed and seemingly unrelated images, the poem explores themes of existential despair, social decay, and the pervasive sense of loss that permeates modern life. The title suggests that these grim realities are not new phenomena brought into existence by articulation but rather enduring truths that are revealed or made visible through the act of naming.
The imagery of "hitchhiking hookers" and "seeking out broken-down cars to hitchhike next to" immediately immerses the reader in a world of transient, marginalized existence. These figures symbolize those who live on the fringes of society, perpetually in motion but without a clear direction or destination. The poem's shifting scenes—from "trying to fall asleep on concrete" to "living in the woods at the end of your old street"—reflect a sense of displacement and rootlessness, suggesting a journey not just through physical spaces but through emotional and psychological landscapes as well.
Interspersed with these vivid snapshots are reflections on the human psyche and self-perception. The lines "intellectual humility is crucial for wishful-meaning projectors / like ourselves" and "personality diagnoses floor us with their accuracy— / yes, even when randomly generated from some sham internet quiz" highlight the human tendency to search for meaning in randomness and to find profound truths in superficial or even fraudulent contexts. This underscores a broader commentary on the human condition: the constant struggle for identity, validation, and understanding in a world that often provides more questions than answers.
The poem also touches on themes of grief and trauma, particularly in the lines "knowing to stay away from your wife, / who just lost the baby, so that she may / read your distance as grief." This moment captures the complex interplay of personal pain, emotional distance, and the ways in which individuals navigate and express their suffering. Similarly, the mention of "abuse leaving you muddled as to your sexuality" speaks to the long-lasting impacts of trauma on one's identity and sense of self.
Economic and social critiques are woven throughout the poem, evident in references to "overfeeding kids with junk, to be the source of their satisfaction" and "six-digit prices for acknowledged forgeries." These lines reflect a critique of consumerism, inequality, and the commodification of both physical and emotional sustenance. The notion of "migratory skid rows" and "housing crises in the age / where the most profound events / happen within the home" further emphasizes the instability and precariousness of contemporary life, where even the concept of home is fraught with tension and uncertainty.
Ultimately, the poem offers a bleak yet poignant reflection on the myriad ways individuals cope with existential dread, societal collapse, and personal grief. The varied, sometimes jarring images combine to create a mosaic of contemporary suffering, suggesting that these struggles are interconnected and pervasive, merely "brought out of hiding" through the poem's evocative language and stark imagery.
existential despair, social decay, marginalization, trauma, grief, consumerism critique, identity struggle, commodification, contemporary suffering, displacement, psychological landscapes, social instability, rootlessness, modern existence.
Nishane's Sultan Vetiver
The write-up on "Sultan Vetiver" serves as an in-depth analysis of a niche fragrance from Nishane, a Turkish perfume house. The author explores how the scent, characterized by its dominant vetiver note, aligns with traditional notions of masculinity, reminiscent of iconic figures like James Bond. The fragrance is complex, employing four distinct types of vetiver—Brazilian, Javanese, Haitian, and Bourbon—each contributing a unique profile that ranges from herbaceous and citrusy to smoky and woody. The discussion underscores how "Sultan Vetiver" stands out among other vetiver-based fragrances, particularly for its unapologetically strong and unadulterated use of the note.
The text critiques the scent's initial grassiness, which some may find overpowering or at odds with the regional authenticity it seeks to evoke, especially considering its inspiration from Indian vetiver traditions. However, the author suggests that this intensity balances out over time, revealing deeper, woodier nuances. The perfume's composition is praised for its complexity, which includes not just vetiver but also accents of tea, honey, and absinthe, contributing to a dynamic and sophisticated olfactory experience.
The author also touches on the broader context of fragrance culture, noting the divisive role of synthetics like Amber Woods, which enhance the scent's longevity and projection but may be perceived as overwhelming by some. Despite these potential drawbacks, "Sultan Vetiver" is lauded as a "statement-making" fragrance that challenges conventional Western ideals of perfumery, offering a blend of Middle Eastern opulence and French refinement. Ultimately, the piece positions "Sultan Vetiver" as a reference point in vetiver perfumery, appealing particularly to those who appreciate bold, unembellished scents.
Meta Description:
This analysis of Nishane's "Sultan Vetiver" delves into its complex composition, highlighting its bold use of four distinct types of vetiver. The fragrance is examined in the context of traditional masculinity and Middle Eastern perfumery, offering insights into its divisive yet sophisticated nature.
Keywords:
Sultan Vetiver, Nishane, vetiver fragrance, traditional masculinity, Middle Eastern perfumery, complex scent composition, niche fragrance, Amber Woods, fragrance culture, bold perfumes
Milk
This poem, "Milk," explores the contentious and often contradictory terrain of reproductive rights, legal responsibilities, and societal ethics. By juxtaposing the legal permissibility of abortion with the absence of a corresponding right for men to opt out of child support, the poem highlights the gendered asymmetries in how society allocates reproductive responsibility. The rhetorical question posed at the poem's climax—why men cannot opt out of child support—invites a critical examination of the ways in which legal systems enforce paternal obligations, even as they grant women significant autonomy over reproductive decisions.
The reference to Innuits leaving "surplus mouths on ice drifts" serves to underscore the cultural relativity of moral norms. This allusion reminds the reader that ethical frameworks around life and death, far from being universally fixed, are deeply influenced by historical, environmental, and cultural factors. By evoking a practice that is morally anathema in many contemporary societies, the poem compels us to confront the often uncomfortable reality that our own moral judgments are similarly contingent and context-dependent.
The poem also makes a stark comparison between the legal rights afforded to a fetus and the everyday cruelty inflicted on animals, specifically cows. This contrast not only points to societal hypocrisies but also raises questions about the selective nature of empathy and moral concern. The fetus, which "feels no pain," is legally protected to a degree that the poem suggests is disproportionate when compared to the routine suffering of sentient beings in industrial agriculture. This comparison challenges the reader to consider the inconsistencies in societal attitudes toward life and suffering, questioning why certain lives are deemed worthy of protection while others are systematically exploited.
In its brevity, "Milk" distills complex legal, ethical, and philosophical debates into a series of sharp juxtapositions, provoking reflection on the intersections of gender, power, and morality. The poem does not offer easy answers but instead urges the reader to grapple with the paradoxes and inequalities that characterize contemporary discussions of reproductive rights and responsibilities.
reproductive rights, legal responsibilities, gender asymmetry, cultural relativism, societal ethics, moral inconsistency, autonomy, paternal obligations, animal rights, contemporary poetry.
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 35)
The assortment of fragments presented in this sequence unfolds a kaleidoscopic view of modern human experience, from the intensely personal to the broadly societal. These pieces—strung together by themes of dissonance, memory, and the body’s visceral realities—capture the chaotic yet interconnected nature of contemporary life. The sequence oscillates between the deeply intimate, such as "the first time they met both said 'I missed you,'" and the broader, more reflective societal commentary seen in "a world approaches... where day-one friends will mock your art."
This exploration of seemingly unrelated moments and thoughts mirrors the fragmented consciousness of the digital age. The snippets delve into the often-ignored or unspoken aspects of existence—be it the brutal truth of bodily functions, the darker corners of human psychology, or the poignant reflections on love, art, and mortality. There’s a continuous tension between the banal and the profound, revealing how closely they intertwine.
The vivid, sometimes unsettling imagery forces a confrontation with the messiness of life, urging readers to look beyond the superficial and to engage with the raw, unfiltered truths of human existence. By highlighting moments like "watching pollywogs sprout legs in the jar" alongside stark phrases such as "hairy mucous-membranes—all of them," the work underscores the simultaneity of growth and decay, beauty and grotesqueness, in the human condition.
Keywords:
poetic fragments, modern human experience, societal commentary, intimate reflections, visceral imagery, digital age, consciousness, love, memory, mortality, body, human condition, grotesque beauty, contemporary poetry.
MAPs
"MAPs" serves as a potent, albeit minimalistic, exploration of the dark and complex relationship between early childhood experiences and the development of deviant sexual attractions, particularly among minor-attracted persons (MAPs). Through a juxtaposition of vivid, culturally resonant imagery, such as the iconic Judy Garland ruby slippers and the innocent setting of monkey bars, the poem subtly yet powerfully reflects on how moments from childhood, often marked by innocence, can crystallize into disturbing fetishes in adulthood. The poem’s brevity intensifies its impact, leaving much to the reader’s interpretation, which mirrors the often elusive and shadowy nature of such psychological developments.
The work encourages a scholarly dialogue on the ways in which early formative experiences, including those that might seem insignificant or innocent at the time, can leave indelible marks on the psyche, potentially steering individuals towards complex and problematic sexual identities. By using minimal language to evoke powerful and disturbing images, the poem suggests that these early encounters with seemingly benign objects or scenarios can become deeply embedded in the psyche, shaping future sexual inclinations in ways that are difficult to unpack or confront.
The poem also touches on broader themes such as the societal taboo surrounding discussions of MAPs, the stigma that obscures open discourse on how such predilections form, and the often tragic outcomes when these tendencies are not understood or addressed early on. The minimalism of the poem is intentional, reflecting the stark and often unspoken reality of these issues, forcing the reader to confront the unsettling implications without the comfort of elaborate explanations or justifications.
MAPs, minor-attracted persons, sexual fetishes, psychological development, childhood experiences, deviant attractions, human sexuality, taboo, societal stigma, poetry analysis, minimalist poetry, disturbing imagery.
Suspension of Disbelief
"Suspension of Disbelief" captures the raw emotional landscape of those battered by life's relentless hardships—disloyalty, disease, and death—finding solace in collective rituals that offer a fleeting escape from despair. The poem reflects on the power of communal experiences, where the act of synchrony, whether in worship or shared delusion, becomes a necessary refuge for those worn down by the brutal realities of existence. The imagery of swaying and shouting, of pews filled with fervor too overwhelming to bear alone, emphasizes the human need for connection and the comfort that comes from losing oneself in the collective rhythm, even if only momentarily. This suspension of disbelief, the poem suggests, is less about genuine faith and more about a primal, almost instinctual, clinging to the comfort found in unity when confronted with the inevitable sufferings of life.
Keywords:
Suspension of disbelief, communal rituals, shared experiences, disloyalty, disease, death, solace, synchrony, human connection, collective rhythm, faith, emotional refuge, existential struggle, poetry, collective comfort.
An Introduction to Chaos Magic(k)
"An Introduction to Chaos Magic(k)" offers a nuanced portrayal of a young woman in the digital age, navigating a complex web of societal pressures, personal insecurities, and self-imposed fantasies. The poem is a striking exploration of how contemporary youth, particularly those on the fringes of traditional and digital cultures, grapple with identity, purpose, and reality in an increasingly fragmented world. The character, a self-styled “metaverse brujita,” embodies the contradictions of modern existence: she is both a product of her environment and an active participant in its creation, constructing a persona that reflects the intersection of digital hyper-reality and archaic mystical beliefs.
Through vivid imagery and detailed descriptions, the poem captures the essence of this young woman’s world—a world where the boundaries between reality and fantasy blur, where identity is both curated and chaotic, and where the pursuit of meaning is fraught with pitfalls. Her life, marked by a series of contradictions—spiritual yet nihilistic, empowered yet fragile, creative yet destructive—serves as a commentary on the broader cultural shifts in the 21st century, particularly the resurgence of mysticism in an era dominated by technology and social media.
The character's engagement with chaos magic, astrology, and other occult practices is depicted not merely as a quirky lifestyle choice but as a desperate attempt to assert control over a life that feels increasingly out of her hands. Her belief in these practices, coupled with her deep-seated insecurities and a pervasive sense of disillusionment, underscores the psychological and emotional turbulence that defines her existence. The poem suggests that these practices, while providing temporary solace, ultimately exacerbate her sense of alienation and contribute to a broader cultural drift toward irrationality and superstition.
Yet, despite her flaws and the toxic elements of her worldview, the poem also expresses a degree of empathy for her. The character’s struggles are emblematic of a generation caught between the promises of technology and the harsh realities of a world that often fails to deliver on those promises. Her dreams, however misguided, are genuine, and her efforts to find meaning and self-worth in a confusing and often hostile world are portrayed with a measure of compassion. The poet’s reflection at the end of the piece acknowledges the character’s potential for growth and change, even as it critiques the cultural forces that shape her.
midst the backdrop of LA's gaunt beauty, sculpted by missed meals and Starbucks, she dons a SpongeBob baseball cap and a Queen of Pentacles tarot card tattoo, symbols that reflect both her childlike nostalgia and her aspirations toward mystical power. Her IG bio declares her a "metaverse brujita," a digital witch navigating the ether with a blend of technology and spirituality, while her surroundings—a one-room world decorated in a mishmash of enchanted forest fairycore and steampunk vintage—mirror her inner turmoil. As she sits on her $400 Moon Pod, she attempts a "mindfulness ritual" meant to exorcise self-loathing and embrace her inner child, but beneath the surface, her actions are driven by a deeper, sublinguistic hope to ward off the growing bitterness toward reality itself.
The poem delves into her psyche, revealing her struggles with identity, her obsession with social validation, and her flirtations with nihilism. Her interactions on social media, her curated digital presence, and her consumption of pop culture all contribute to a sense of disconnection from reality, as she grapples with feelings of inadequacy and the fear of being ordinary. Her rituals, her creative endeavors, and even her relationships are tainted by this inner conflict, as she oscillates between grandiose delusions of self-importance and the crushing weight of self-doubt.
The poem’s narrative is interspersed with moments of raw vulnerability, such as her reflection on past traumas, her obsessive focus on physical imperfections, and her fantasies of escape into a world where she is the central figure—untouched by the harsh judgments of the real world. Yet, despite her struggles, there is a sense of resilience in her, a potential for growth that flickers beneath the layers of magical thinking and victimhood. The author’s note that follows the poem offers a critical yet empathetic perspective, acknowledging the protagonist's flaws while also recognizing her humanity and potential for positive change.
Ultimately, "An Introduction to Chaos Magic(k)" is a poignant exploration of the challenges faced by a generation caught between the digital and the real, the magical and the mundane, as they search for meaning and identity in an increasingly chaotic world. The poem captures the tension between the desire for control and the fear of being overwhelmed by forces beyond one's understanding, offering a nuanced portrayal of a young woman on the edge of self-discovery.
Chaos Magic(k), digital age, modern identity, mysticism, societal pressures, personal insecurities, metaverse brujita, Carl Sagan, victimhood, cultural shifts, Gen Z, psychological turbulence, digital hyper-reality, cultural critique, poetic exploration.
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 34)
"Stir Better Angels" is a powerful collection of vivid, thought-provoking snapshots that explore the complexities of human experience, the contradictions of modern life, and the tension between instinct and societal norms. Each line serves as a meditation on the varied dimensions of existence, from the mundane to the profound, often tinged with a sense of irony or dark humor. The poem traverses themes such as depression, memory, survival, and the instincts buried beneath the comforts of contemporary living. It challenges the reader to consider how deeply ingrained behaviors and rituals—whether rooted in cultural training, survival instincts, or the necessity of routine—shape our understanding of identity and belonging.
The work also delves into the conflicts inherent in human nature, such as the struggle between following societal expectations and embracing primal instincts. It touches on the often unnoticed but significant impact of seemingly small actions and decisions on one's mental state and sense of self. The juxtaposition of trivial and significant moments serves to highlight the fragility and unpredictability of life, as well as the ways in which we cope with or avoid confronting deeper existential truths.
The poem’s structure, a series of vivid vignettes, allows for a fragmented yet cohesive exploration of these themes, each line acting as a standalone reflection while contributing to the overall narrative of human struggle, survival, and the search for meaning in a world that often feels disconnected from its own primal roots. The imagery used is both visceral and relatable, making abstract concepts tangible and emotionally resonant.
Human experience, societal norms, primal instincts, identity, routine, cultural conditioning, survival, depression, memory, existential truth, modern life, dark humor, irony, human nature, poetry, vignettes, instinctual drives, existentialism.
Nymphology
"Nymphology" presents a visceral exploration of the entanglement between artistic devotion and destructive desire. The metaphor of the man as a plant needing fire to propagate its seeds underscores the paradox of creation and destruction, where his artistic drive is intertwined with a dark, consuming passion. His vigilance "about where he came" signals a self-awareness of the consequences of his actions, particularly the potential to create life—a responsibility he feels unprepared to handle. Yet, this awareness is overshadowed by his inability to resist the allure of "feral teenyboppers," whose "succubi stares" represent an overpowering temptation that drives him to the brink of moral collapse. The repeated failure to "pull out" is not just a literal failure (he does indeed bust bigtime loads in all these "teenyboppers") but a metaphorical one, symbolizing his inability to detach from the perilous edge where his art and his desires meet. The poem, therefore, delves into the destructive side of creative passion, where the line between creation and annihilation blurs, leading to a complex and dangerous interplay of impulses that the speaker finds himself unable to escape. Through stark and provocative imagery, "Nymphology" questions the costs of artistic devotion when it is entangled with unrestrained and potentially ruinous desires.
Nymphology poem, artistic devotion, destructive desire, creation and annihilation, succubi stares, feral teenyboppers, moral collapse, creative passion, temptation and danger, M. A. Istvan Jr., poetic exploration, dark impulses, self-awareness, provocative imagery, artistic struggle.
Nymphology poem, artistic devotion, destructive desire, creation and annihilation, succubi stares, feral teenyboppers, moral collapse, creative passion, temptation and danger, M. A. Istvan Jr., poetic exploration, dark impulses, self-awareness, provocative imagery, artistic struggle.
Plausible Deniability
In "Plausible Deniability," the speaker captures a moment of self-deception and moral reckoning, set against the backdrop of an impending revelation. The imagery of "huddled eyes glued to the glowing anchor" suggests a figure fixated on the television, perhaps seeking solace or distraction in the news. The act of quickly finishing off the "brewskis" highlights a desperate attempt to cling to the last vestiges of denial before the sobering truth, represented by the "sobering bulletin," sets in. This bulletin is a metaphorical moment of clarity, a point at which the reality of the situation becomes undeniable, even to someone entrenched in self-deception. The phrase "speed’s uneasy price" hints at the consequences of trying to escape or outpace the inevitable, suggesting that the speaker is aware of the cost of their actions but still chooses to indulge. The final lines, where the intake of anything, "even of gum," becomes "indecent," underscore the depth of this moral awakening. It's a stark recognition that no amount of escapism can shield one from the truth. The poem thus explores themes of denial, accountability, and the fleeting nature of self-imposed ignorance, illustrating the tension between indulgence and the inevitable confrontation with reality.
Plausible Deniability poem, self-deception, moral reckoning, escapism, fleeting ignorance, sobering truth, moment of clarity, accountability, indulgence vs. reality, M. A. Istvan Jr., poetic exploration, confrontation with truth, emotional tension, denial and acceptance.
Many Hands of Myopia
In the poem "Many Hands of Myopia," M. A. Istvan Jr. crafts a vivid and unsettling depiction of the celebratory aftermath following a significant scientific breakthrough, one with potentially catastrophic consequences. The imagery used throughout the poem juxtaposes the euphoria of achievement with the ominous implications of the scientists' work, suggesting a critical reflection on the ethical dimensions of scientific progress and the collective responsibility of those involved.
The opening lines, "Champagne bubbles rising / like mushroom pillars / in a toasted afterglow of detonation," immediately set a tone of paradoxical celebration. The simile comparing champagne bubbles to mushroom clouds evokes the imagery of nuclear explosions, blending the joy of success with the horror of destruction. This duality introduces the central theme of the poem: the myopic focus on achievement without fully grappling with the broader consequences.
Istvan's portrayal of the "men of science" further emphasizes this theme. The scientists are depicted massaging their necks, suggesting physical and perhaps moral discomfort in the "televised fallout of their grind." This phrase captures both the literal and figurative fallout of their work, implying that their grind—while successful—has led to results that must be publicly scrutinized and personally grappled with.
The collective clapping and cheering, described as "too loudly," underscores a sense of forced enthusiasm, as if the scientists are trying to drown out their own doubts and fears. The use of "every eye / darts for pats of reassurance" suggests a pervasive anxiety among the group, with each individual seeking validation from their peers to mitigate their own uncertainties. This dynamic highlights the shared burden of responsibility and the human tendency to seek comfort in collective affirmation, even in the face of morally ambiguous achievements.
The poem’s closing lines—"for others to share in the load"—bring the theme of collective responsibility to the forefront. It suggests that while individual scientists may seek to offload their ethical concerns onto the group, the weight of their actions is a shared burden. The myopia referred to in the title thus becomes a collective blindness, a willful ignorance shared by all involved to cope with the potentially devastating implications of their work.
Istvan’s poem invites readers to reflect on the ethical dimensions of scientific and technological advancements. It questions the celebratory narratives often surrounding breakthroughs, urging a deeper consideration of the long-term impacts and moral responsibilities of those who drive progress. Through vivid imagery and a keen examination of human behavior, "Many Hands of Myopia" critiques the tendency to prioritize achievement over ethical reflection, highlighting the importance of acknowledging and sharing the burden of responsibility in the face of potentially harmful advancements.
M. A. Istvan Jr., Many Hands of Myopia, poem, scientific progress, ethical reflection, collective responsibility, nuclear imagery, moral burden, vivid imagery, technological advancement, myopia, human behavior, celebration and destruction, ethical dimensions, literary critique.
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 33)
In this excerpt from "Made for You and Me 2017," M. A. Istvan Jr. weaves together a series of poignant and thought-provoking observations, creating a tapestry of existential reflections and societal critiques. The mosaic of imagery and themes invites readers to delve into the complexities of human experience, touching on addiction, loss, resilience, and the quest for meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe.
The opening line, "junkies, fibrotic even at the quirkiest needle sites, driveling over unspoiled vascularity," immediately sets a tone of decay and desperation. The depiction of addicts, whose bodies bear the scars of their relentless search for veins, highlights the physical and psychological toll of addiction. The reference to "unspoiled vascularity" underscores a yearning for purity and normalcy, a stark contrast to their current state of degradation.
This theme of destruction extends to the natural world with "one’s birth tree choked out by disease." Here, Istvan juxtaposes the personal and the ecological, suggesting a parallel between the corruption of the body and the demise of nature. The imagery of a tree, a symbol of life and growth, succumbing to disease, evokes a sense of inevitable decline that pervades the poem.
The recurring motif of animals and their behaviors serves as a metaphor for human tendencies. "Dogs returning to their vomit" and "preferring the known of misery over the unknown of change" reflect a profound commentary on the human condition. These lines suggest a proclivity to cling to familiar suffering rather than embrace the uncertainty of transformation. The reference to scientists "popping corks in the atomic glow" adds a layer of irony, highlighting the dissonance between scientific celebration and the potential for catastrophic consequences, underscoring the tension between progress and ethical responsibility.
Istvan's exploration of identity and transformation continues with the image of "Brenda’s Adam’s apple in the morning florescence of the hotel bathroom." This line poignantly captures the vulnerability and complexity of gender identity, hinting at the personal struggles and societal judgments faced by those who do not conform to traditional norms. The morning light, often symbolic of new beginnings, here illuminates the ongoing challenges of self-acceptance and societal perception.
The poet's contemplation of mortality and language is evident in the lines, "although we use it each day (and casually), our behavior shows that we find 'dying' to be the most vile word in the language." This reflection on the aversion to death, despite its inevitability, highlights the paradoxical nature of human existence. The subsequent image of an infant, "unkindled to laughter by the faces meant to make it laugh," delving into reflective curiosity, underscores the innate human tendency towards introspection and the search for meaning, even from an early age.
The poem further examines the aftermath of triumph with "is that regular mode of life following a great victory a chance to reflect and reenergize, or one to wonder why you did not simply kill yourself in the climax?" This line starkly portrays the existential void that can follow significant achievements, questioning the purpose and fulfillment derived from success. The image of wearing a "photo-mask of mom so the orphan will feed from the bottle" evokes themes of deception and survival, illustrating the lengths to which individuals go to nurture and sustain life in the face of loss.
Istvan's meditation on generational trauma is evident in "traumas transmuting across generations without deliberate effort," suggesting the pervasive and enduring impact of past wounds on present and future lives. This notion of inherited pain resonates with the subsequent lines on the absurdity of human desires and the search for spiritual enlightenment, emphasizing the cyclical and often futile nature of these pursuits.
The poem concludes with a reflection on the self and the impossibility of fully transcending one's identity. "Religions that ask a given self to discover its own nonexistence ask the impossible of that self" encapsulates the tension between spiritual aspirations and the inherent limitations of human consciousness.
Istvan's "Made for You and Me 2017" is a profound exploration of human frailty, resilience, and the relentless quest for meaning amidst the chaos of existence. Through vivid imagery and poignant reflections, the poet invites readers to confront the darkest and most vulnerable aspects of their own humanity.
M. A. Istvan Jr., Made for You and Me 2017, existential reflections, addiction, identity, resilience, human experience, quest for meaning, societal critique, vivid imagery, poetry, generational trauma, spiritual enlightenment, human frailty, philosophical poetry.
Three Verses on "Beacon Speaks"
In the poem "Beacon Speaks," M. A. Istvan Jr. and collaborators explore the enduring influence of Beacon, a city in New York's Hudson Valley, on its former residents. Through various voices and perspectives, the poem captures the complexities of identity, memory, and the struggle to rise above one's origins while still being inevitably shaped by them. The chorus sections emphasize the lasting impact of Beacon's culture and environment on those who have left, while the verses delve into personal experiences and the gritty realities of life in and around Beacon.
The poem opens with a chorus that sets the stage for the exploration of Beacon's influence, noting how even those who have "made it out on top" carry traces of their past: "bad teeth, self-doubt, slang, even our bop." This establishes a theme of inescapable heritage, where one's origins continue to speak through their current selves, often in ways that are subtly discernible to others.
Istvan's verse delves into the specific social dynamics and characters of Beacon, painting a vivid picture of life in the city. He describes the allure of "hoodrats" and the chaotic scenes of black preggos, acrylic-nail scratches, and blunt-rolling alley cats. This verse highlights the cyclical nature of life in Beacon, where even those who leave are drawn back to familiar environments and relationships, often fraught with dysfunction and struggle. The scene is raw, filled with blunt-rolling alley cats and Baby Phat-wearing women. The struggle is palpable—child support dodges, cracked 40 Miller drafts, and chaotic confrontations. These characters are deeply entrenched in a cycle that seems impossible to break, highlighting the relentless grip of their environment.
The second chorus shifts the focus to those who have given up certain vices but still carry emotional and psychological scars: "teary eyes, rage-outs, fear, even our cocks." This section underscores the pervasive sense of incompleteness and the lingering effects of past behaviors and experiences.
Aly-Al's verse provides a deeply personal account of addiction, portraying a life dominated by the pursuit of drugs and the consequential spiral into deeper dependency. The narrative is one of relentless pursuit and inevitable relapse, despite attempts at recovery. The verse is a raw depiction of the challenges faced by those trying to escape the cycle of addiction, with Aly-Al highlighting the paradox of temporary escape through substance abuse and the perpetual return to the same destructive patterns. The father-son dynamic is fraught with chasing highs and petty theft, with crack and cheap booze as their companions. The passage of time shows a craft honed in addiction, hiding tracks in the summer heat, and the relentless cycle of relapse and detox. The vivid imagery of bartering stolen goods under a bridge and the constant battle with sobriety underscores the inescapable nature of addiction.
The third chorus extends the theme of being perceived as "off" by others due to past behaviors and associations, this time focusing on the physical and social markers that set former Beacon residents apart: "crooked grills, distrust, dress, even jump shots." The refrain reinforces the idea that the influence of one's origins is pervasive and recognizable, affecting how they are received in new environments.
Space Jesus's verse (missing in this fragment) would likely contribute to the narrative by adding another layer of personal or communal reflection, further enriching the tapestry of voices and experiences.
The fourth chorus addresses those who have sought philosophical or spiritual insights, noting how even such pursuits are colored by their past: "drug abuse, con ways, stress, even our ox." This section suggests that no matter how far one moves intellectually or spiritually, the influence of one's background persists.
Cride's verse wraps up the poem with a nostalgic look at Beacon through the lens of music and personal memories. He recalls listening to mixtapes, smoking weed, and engaging in the local music scene. This verse emphasizes the deep, lasting impact of Beacon on his artistic identity and personal history, showing how the city's cultural elements continue to shape his creative expressions.
Overall, "Beacon Speaks" is a powerful exploration of the inescapable influence of one's origins. It captures the enduring mark of a place on its people, illustrating how past environments and experiences continue to shape identities and perceptions. Through vivid imagery and personal narratives, the poem delves into themes of identity, struggle, and the complex relationship between one's past and present.
M. A. Istvan Jr., Beacon Speaks, poem, identity, struggle, Beacon NY, addiction, personal narrative, cultural influence, memory, community, past and present, literary exploration, social dynamics, lyrical poetry, urban life, Hudson Valley.
Why Must He Write from the Third Person?
"Why Must He Write from the Third Person?" by Michael Anthony Istvan Jr. is a stark and unsettling piece that delves into the psyche of a character grappling with the horrors of their own actions. The poem’s exploration of disturbing themes such as sexual violence, obsession, and the disassociation necessary to cope with one’s atrocities is both powerful and deeply troubling. Istvan employs the third person to create a distance between the narrator and the protagonist, which serves to highlight the protagonist’s inability to confront their own reality directly.
The opening lines, "Cliché arson did not hide / a rape flubbed in that," immediately set a dark tone, indicating a failed attempt to cover up a heinous act through destruction. The use of "cliché arson" suggests a worn-out or predictable method, implying that the protagonist’s actions are not only criminal but also unimaginative and desperate. The mention of a "rape flubbed" points to an unsuccessful or incomplete attempt at sexual violence, adding to the sense of chaos and failure surrounding the protagonist.
Istvan’s choice to describe the protagonist’s desires as "his dream on a hentai platter" brings a disturbing element of fantasy into the mix. Hentai, a genre of Japanese animated pornography, indicates the protagonist’s warped sexual fantasies and the detachment from reality. The imagery of the protagonist needing to "roll / his exchange sister’s finger / for laptop access" is both grotesque and pathetic, illustrating the lengths to which he goes to fulfill his perverse desires. The use of "kana keys" emphasizes the foreignness and the cultural specificity of the situation, while "crushing her hyoid" starkly portrays the violent climax of the protagonist’s actions.
The phrase "open-layup airball" at the poem's conclusion brings a jarring juxtaposition of sports imagery with the violent act described. An "open-layup airball" signifies a missed opportunity in basketball, a moment of failure in an otherwise easy situation. This metaphor serves to underscore the protagonist’s incompetence and the ultimate futility of his actions. The use of such an everyday sports term in the context of violence adds a layer of surrealism and detachment, reinforcing the protagonist's dissociation from his own actions.
The poem’s title, "Why Must He Write from the Third Person?", poses a critical question about the necessity of detachment in narrating such a story. By writing in the third person, the protagonist distances himself from the reality of his deeds, reflecting a psychological need to disassociate from the guilt and horror of his actions. Istvan's choice to frame the narrative in this way allows readers to see the protagonist’s internal conflict and denial more clearly, making the horror of the situation even more palpable.
In "Why Must He Write from the Third Person?", Michael Anthony Istvan Jr. explores themes of violence, fantasy, and psychological detachment with a raw and unsettling intensity. The poem’s vivid imagery and stark language confront readers with the disturbing reality of the protagonist’s actions, while the third-person perspective underscores the disassociation and denial inherent in the character’s psyche. This piece stands as a powerful commentary on the darkness that can reside within the human mind and the lengths to which one might go to avoid facing it directly.
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Visit my Substack: Hive Being
Visit my Substack: Hive Being
Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)
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