in the absence of expected disaster, we are
left again to what we do not want to be
left again to: each other—each other’s eyes

to Hive being

welcome

What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?

You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.

In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.

My Journey

I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.  

The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.

Call for Co-Conspirators

This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.

Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).

You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.

My Hope

Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.

People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.

My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.

What to Expect

My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.

By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.

But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.

Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!

Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.

Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.

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Fuckbot Errands (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Fuckbot Errands (ROUND 1)

“Fuckbot Errands” is a miniature poem about aesthetic self-modification under conditions of technological mediation. Its apparent subject is cosmetic contouring, but its deeper concern is the erosion of embodied reality by image culture. The poem asks a deceptively simple question: if a beauty practice already appears uncanny on a screen, what happens when that same aesthetic enters ordinary physical space? Beneath its humor lies a philosophical meditation on simulation, representation, and the increasing inability of contemporary culture to distinguish enhancement from deformation.

The poem begins with startling compression: “Two lines of fecal taupe to chisel / the cheeks of the porky podcaster.” The phrase “fecal taupe” immediately sabotages the glamour of contour makeup. Rather than invoking the language of fashion or beauty, the poem reduces the cosmetic product to an earthy, bodily substance. The choice is strategic. Contouring promises sculptural refinement—the creation of shadows where none naturally exist—but the poem insists on the material absurdity of the process. The face becomes something worked upon, artificially carved into a more desirable shape.

Yet the target is not merely an individual woman. The figure of the “porky podcaster” represents a broader cultural condition. She is someone whose existence is mediated through cameras, screens, and self-presentation. The contour lines are not being applied to a face encountered directly by others. They are being applied to an image-producing machine. This distinction is crucial. The poem is less interested in vanity than in the strange feedback loop whereby people increasingly modify themselves for technological reproduction rather than for face-to-face human perception.

The parenthetical interruption—“(normalized clown / insanity like overdrawn lips, / like Botox)”—broadens the critique. The phrase “normalized clown insanity” is not simply an insult. It names a process by which visibly artificial practices become culturally invisible through repetition. Clowns traditionally exaggerate facial features into caricature. Yet the poem suggests that contemporary beauty culture has rendered analogous exaggerations ordinary. Overdrawn lips and Botox are presented not as isolated phenomena but as examples of a larger aesthetic logic: the pursuit of enhancement until enhancement itself becomes distortion.

Importantly, the poem's criticism is not directed at individuals so much as at collective perception. The key word is “normalized.” The problem is not that people engage in artificial modification. Humans have always done so. The problem is that repeated exposure alters the standards by which reality itself is judged. What once appeared grotesque gradually comes to seem natural.

The poem reaches its philosophical center in the final question: “if these, too stiff / for true shadows, make her / a cadaver even on YouTube, / what must they do hovering / in the aisles of Trader Joes?” The movement from YouTube to Trader Joe’s is essential. It marks a shift from mediated space to physical space. On screen, contouring can succeed because cameras flatten depth and convert faces into images. But the poem asks readers to imagine the same cosmetic construction encountered in ordinary life.

The phrase “too stiff for true shadows” is especially incisive. Contouring attempts to imitate natural shadow, yet the imitation lacks the fluidity of actual light. The cosmetic shadow is static where real shadow is dynamic. It remains fixed despite movement, expression, or changing illumination. The result is a subtle uncanniness. The face begins to resemble not a living body but a representation of one.

This culminates in the image of the “cadaver.” The comparison works because the poem identifies a paradox at the heart of cosmetic enhancement culture. Practices intended to create vitality, youthfulness, and attractiveness can, beyond a certain threshold, produce the opposite effect. The pursuit of animation risks generating lifelessness. The pursuit of beauty risks producing something mask-like.

What gives the poem its force is its economy. In only a handful of lines, it compresses questions of simulation, beauty standards, technological mediation, and collective perception. The humor is sharp, but it serves a larger philosophical purpose. “Fuckbot Errands” ultimately suggests that modern aesthetic culture increasingly asks people to optimize themselves for screens, even when those optimizations become unsettling in the physical world. The poem's final image leaves us with a quietly disturbing possibility: that we have become so accustomed to artificial faces on screens that we no longer notice how strange they appear when encountered among groceries, fluorescent lights, and ordinary human life.

Meta Description

A satirical and philosophical poem about contour makeup, digital self-presentation, beauty culture, simulation, and the uncanny gap between screen-optimized appearance and embodied reality.

Keywords

Fuckbot Errands, beauty culture, contour makeup, cosmetic enhancement, simulation, digital identity, body image, social media aesthetics, Botox culture, uncanny valley, mediated reality, image culture, contemporary poetry, philosophical poetry, satire, embodiment, artificial beauty, screen culture, hyperreality, aesthetic

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Pumps and a Bump (ROUND 9)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Pumps and a Bump (ROUND 9)

The Pathology of the Absolute: Somatic Desecration and Cosmic Absurdity in Pumps and a Bump

Introduction: The Literariness of the Grotesque

The text titled Pumps and a Bump stands within the transgressive literary lineage of authors like Vladimir Nabokov, Thomas Pynchon, and David Foster Wallace. It functions as a dense, claustrophobic anatomical-philosophical critique of the predator’s interiority. Rather than indulging in the pornographic or the merely sensational—vulgar forms that rely on the exploitation or objectification of the victim—the narrative directs its hyper-stylized lens entirely toward the somatic, neurological, and metaphysical machinery of the perpetrator, Dr. James.

The aesthetic worth of the piece lies in its rigorous execution of a formal counterbalance: the deployment of a high-bourgeois, medicalized, and philosophical vocabulary (pulpotomy, threnody, lordotic, archē) to map an act of absolute moral and physical degradation. This friction produces an alienation effect (Verfremdungseffekt) that prevents the reader from experiencing either cheap titillation or simple moral superiority. Instead, it forces a direct confrontation with the cold, hyper-rationalized compartmentalization that characterizes structural human depravity.

I. The Somatic Pressure Cooker: Edging as Teleological Madness

The structural spine of the narrative is formatted as an ironic, inverted ascetic countdown. Over a two-week period, Dr. James engages in a forced retention—a "no-fap fast"—not for spiritual purification, but to maximize the kinetic velocity and sensory payload of a premeditated sexual assault. The text systematically charts the physical toll of this retention through a prose style that treats the human body as an over-engineered, failing hydraulic system.

The progression moves rigorously from a two-week kegel lockdown into acute anatomical engorgement (marked by prostate swell and heavy mucilage), before finally collapsing into total somatic failure at the moment of release.

The author’s choice of descriptors, particularly the use of "backlog okra slime" and "gelatinous sharts," serves a critical narrative purpose. By utilizing the specific fluid dynamics of non-Newtonian, shear-thinning substances—the ropey, tenacious viscosity of okra and aloe—the text strips the character of any phallic, predatory dignity. He is not depicted as a powerful, dominant victimizer; he is reduced to a leaking, clogged animal, scuttling through his own clinic like a "humanoid crab."

The body here becomes a site of involuntary treason. The "rectum kicked into overdrive by the sheer structural weight of a prostate at the physiological limit of its own swell" indicates that his pathology is not merely psychological, but a totalizing somatic madness. The mechanical language throughout ("the release of the overwound spring," "captive bolt hellbent on veal") underscores a theme of terrifying determinism: the predator has surrendered his humanity to become an automated, biological delivery device.

II. The Completionist Intellect: The Mechanics of Post-Pop Dissociation

One of the most academically compelling dimensions of Pumps and a Bump is its chilling depiction of post-coital dissociation and the subsequent frenzy of clinical sanitization. A split second after the "ballistic bluster" of his release, the protagonist shifts instantly from a state of raw, unhinged animalism to a state of hyper-rationalized, meticulous compliance with the clock.

This sudden frantic rush to clean what just milliseconds before the man would have obliterated his family and reputation to soil highlights the absolute core of the psychopathic or highly compartmentalized mind. The text refers to this as a "completionism sufficient all by itself for an autism diagnosis," objectifying the act of cleanup into a symbolic "clean slate." The mechanical use of the spit-sucker to clear the patient's throat is an act of cold utility driven by the fear of "aspiration pneumonia" and previous "gulp-worthy inquiries."

This creates a stark, dualistic split between the reckoning and the sanitization. On one side, you have violent pelvic pumping, subliterate DDLG whispers, and an absolute biological surrender. On the other side, milliseconds later, you have precise spit-sucker utility, intricate medical rationales, and an intensely hypervigilant legal awareness.

By stripping his own urethra clear "like it was an IV tube," Dr. James attempts to erase the data of his crime, turning his clinical expertise into an instrument of forensic counter-measures. The text brilliantly highlights the supreme irony of his existence: he subverts the very tools and framed diplomas meant for healing in order to execute and then scrub an act of pure predation.

III. The Metaphysical Leap: From "Spunk" to Archē

The true literary validation of the text occurs in its final movement, where the narrative voice executes a vertical leap from the biological filth of the clinic room to the heights of existential and theological philosophy.

The concluding paragraph anchors its visceral impact in the description of "the gelatinous sharts of a colon turned spastic in its gratitude." The word "spastic" functions here with clinical brilliance; it marks an involuntary, neuromuscular convulsion—the body’s lower autonomous tract weeping with primitive relief because the pressure-cooker has finally vented.

Yet, while his lower anatomy lapses into this degraded release, his intellect immediately seeks refuge in cosmic abstraction. The progression moves rapidly from somatic degradation, through psychological dissociation, and straight into a profound philosophical inquiry regarding the balance of cosmic absurdity and the divine.

The text asks: “Does it cut back, even if the ultimate archē suffices for its own existence (self-caused as opposed to uncaused), all the way to God?”

This is not a casual rhetorical flourish. It is a profound psychological portrait of intellectual evasion. Dr. James attempts to escape the immediate moral reality of his squalid crime—and the impending sound of his assistant Debbie’s clicking heels—by re-framing his perversion as a localized symptom of a grander, cosmic absurdity. If existence itself is an unasked-for, chaotic labor characterized by entropy (whether it be stems competing for sun, or a bereaved orca nosing its dead calf), then his crime is merely another manifestation of reality's intrinsic, violent absurdity. He projectively offloads his guilt onto the structure of the universe, tracking the levels of absurdity all the way back to the prime mover.

Conclusion: The Literary Worth of the Piece

Pumps and a Bump is an exemplary piece of contemporary transgressive fiction because it subverts the standard tropes of shock-value literature. It refuses to glamorize the predator, choosing instead to document his somatic degradation with the cold eye of a veterinary pathologist. Through its dense, rhythmic cadence and its refusal to blink at the base physical realities of a hyper-pressurized body, the text leverages the grotesque to achieve an authentic condition of existential nausea. It stands as a highly disciplined, aesthetically significant investigation into the horrific capacities of human compartmentalization, proving that even within the deepest moral vacuum, the mind will desperately construct a theology to justify its own rot.

Meta Description

A claustrophobic, maximalist prose piece exploring the hydraulic buildup of obsession, forensic panic, and sexual violation under medical sedation, tracking a predatory dentist's cycle of somatic accumulation, frantic cleanup, and existential absurdity.

Keywords

Pumps and a Bump, forensic panic, somatic accumulation, predatory mechanics, medical authority violation, sedation dentistry trauma, hermeneutic contamination, existential nausea, thermodynamic entropy, transgressive cycle, legal erasure, bodily economy, maximalist prose, metaphysics of desire

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 88)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 88)

Part 88 operates under a dominant frequency that distinguishes it from the broader cultural scanning of its companion installments. Where the mosaic form typically distributes attention across the full horizontal range of contemporary experience — politics, technology, race, economics, theology — this installment turns more persistently inward and downward, toward dying, toward the child-self, toward the specific textures of grief, bodily humiliation, estrangement, and the narrow windows in which human beings actually reach each other. Death here is not a subject among subjects but a medium: the element through which nearly every other observation is refracted. The sequence's implicit argument is that a culture without dying-literacy — a term the poem will coin and immediately ironize — mismanages nearly everything downstream from it.

"Sensing the dinosaur in the parrot eye" opens with one of the sequence's most compressed and beautiful observations. It is paleontologically grounded — birds carry the evolutionary inheritance of theropod dinosaurs, the parrot's eye retains that lineage — but the poem deploys this as phenomenological event rather than scientific fact. "Sensing" is the crucial verb: not knowing, not seeing, but the more uncertain and intuitive apprehension of something that cannot be proven and cannot be unfelt. Deep time becomes suddenly visible in the quotidian. The image establishes the sequence's governing temporal mode: the past is not past, evolutionary and geological depth is present in ordinary surfaces, and attention — genuine attention — can crack open into duration far exceeding the human. This is also the poem's implicit claim about its own aphoristic method: the fragment, attending to the apparently trivial, can access something ancient.

"Apologizing to people for crying in front of them" follows with a shift from the cosmological to the acutely social. The apology performs the culture's management of emotional display: tears require explanation, and the explanation takes the form of an apology because the crier has, by cultural convention, imposed something on the witness. The stanza names this without satirizing it — the apology is genuine, the discomfort is real, the convention is internalized. It belongs to a loose cluster across the sequence of observations about the management of feeling under social pressure: the half-hour window before paternal stupor, the children's clothing inked for body identification, the cell check and the torn sanitary pads. Each names a specific site where the private and the institutional collide, usually at the private's expense.

"Sick of seeing family since they mourn you as if already dead" names a specific cruelty internal to anticipatory grief. The family's love expresses itself as premature mourning, which forecloses the present tense of the still-living person. To be mourned before dying is to be erased by the very attention meant to honor you. The poem holds this without adjudication: the family's grief is genuine, and its effect on its object is devastating, and these two facts are not reconcilable. The stanza's particular compression — the word "sick" carrying both emotional exhaustion and the condition that makes the mourning necessary — refuses to let any participant escape cleanly.

"Mothers inking names in their children's clothing for body identification" arrives without editorial framing, and that restraint is the move. The act belongs to contexts of mass casualty — war, siege, displacement, disaster — but the poem renders it in the domestic register of ordinary maternal labor. The intimacy of inking a child's name into a collar, performed in the same gesture as sewing a button, holds the catastrophic and the routine in a single image. The stanza connects to "distracting the kids from daily bomb sirens added to the besieged mother's duties" later in the sequence: a diptych of maternal management under conditions that the poem's probable readership encounters only at a distance, as news. For the mothers in these stanzas, the extraordinary is the ordinary.

"Trying to talk to your father in that half-hour window before after-work stupor" maps a precise domestic topology. The window is not metaphorical but structural: everything a child needs to say or ask or secure fits into this interval or goes unsaid. "After-work stupor" is deliberately unspecified in its cause — alcohol is available as a reading, but so is exhaustion, depression, the simple attrition of daily labor. Children rarely possess clinical explanations for parental unavailability. They possess only the window and its closing.

"Extending forgiveness less because he deserves it than because you deserve peace" reframes forgiveness entirely. Not moral generosity toward the offender but self-interested liberation from the weight of sustained grievance. The "he" remains unspecified — father, lover, assailant, colleague — and the ambiguity is generative rather than evasive. The stanza refuses the vocabulary of virtue in which forgiveness is performed as a gift to its recipient. It insists on the transaction's self-directed logic, which is simultaneously more honest and more morally complicated: forgiveness as hygiene, not grace. The formulation is one the poem does not sentimentalize. It notes the motive without condemning it.

"Simply raising a few fingers from the steering wheel to the man on the corner" is the sequence's most minimal act of human recognition, and its placement gives it weight. The raised fingers are acknowledgment in its cheapest and most widely distributable form: a signal that the man on the corner exists in the driver's field of attention. The poem frames this not as charity but as recognition — the gift of being seen, delivered at negligible cost. That such minimal acknowledgment registers as notable is itself an observation about the scarcity of ordinary recognition.

The Chinese food deliveryman stanza is the sequence's most sustained comedic set piece, and its comedy is analytical. The deliveryman is "disgusted by the thought / that the pizza deliveryman now at his door, dreck / of the American Dream, is making eyes at his daughter." The hierarchy being enforced — the Chinese deliveryman locating the pizza deliveryman below himself on the aspirational ladder, protecting his daughter from a rival claimant — is simultaneously recognizable as human and precise as social observation. "Dreck / of the American Dream" performs the Dream's internal class system: among those the Dream has not yet lifted, fine distinctions of relative elevation are maintained with great seriousness. The stanza does not mock this. It records it with a clarity that is its own form of respect.

"In love it is not obscene for an imperfect being to expect being taken as perfect" is the sequence's most generous formulation. It does not argue that love is delusional but that its central demand — to be received as whole, without remainder, without the deduction of one's faults — is legitimate even for the irreducibly flawed. "Obscene" is carefully chosen: it forestalls the objection that such expectation is narcissistic or unreasonable. The poem insists that making this demand belongs to love's proper grammar. The stanza does not promise the expectation will be met.

The hobo stanza achieves its effects through a single image of sustained precision. "A hobo squatting out shit in an alley, / his great-white-shark eyes unfazed / by high beams glowing them like road signs." The great-white-shark eyes carry a specific biological claim: the shark registers no fear because its nervous system does not model danger the way mammals do. The hobo's unfazed eyes suggest a comparable condition — not courage but the radical attrition of the threat-response through sufficient exposure to exposure itself. The high beams illuminate the eyes "like road signs": directional markers for other travelers, utilitarian, impersonal. The man has been converted by circumstance into infrastructure. The image does not grieve this. It records it exactly.

"Even more concealed it seems, now that we abandon / the distinction between man and deed, is that abyssal / stratum in which we are one even with our antipodes" is the sequence's most philosophically ambitious stanza. The argument is counterintuitive: the progressive move of separating persons from their acts — judging the deed without condemning the doer — paradoxically conceals a deeper stratum in which even our most extreme opposites share our nature. To collapse the man/deed distinction in the name of compassion is to lose sight of what genuine compassion requires: the recognition that the capacity for the deed inheres in the same human nature one shares with its perpetrator. "Antipodes" — those at the opposite pole, the furthest imaginable from us — is the exact term for what the poem insists we cannot finally separate ourselves from.

"What do we hope to avoid by labeling all suicides 'cases of mental illness'?" opens a question the poem declines to close. The label performs specific social work — it pathologizes the act, removes it from the domain of rational choice or social indictment, protects the community from examining what conditions it may have produced. The question does not argue that suicide is rational or that mental illness is not real. It asks what function the label serves beyond clinical description, and what that function costs in terms of honest reckoning. The poem is not the first to ask this question, but its placement — between the prison guard tearing sanitary pads and the stanza about being stuck up for a cross piece — gives it particular force. The question sits among images of institutional violence and desperate vernacular prayer.

"Being stuck up for your cross piece, / unsure if it will even help to yell out, / 'Yo dad — dad it's me, bro: Mikey!'" is the sequence's most startling tonal shift, and its comedy does not cancel its horror. The scenario is robbery at gunpoint; the hostage's appeal to paternal recognition — "it's me, bro: Mikey!" — deploys the casual register of street address in a moment of absolute extremity. The "bro" is simultaneously the idiom of the neighborhood and a genuine appeal to brotherhood, to the recognition that the robber and the robbed share a world in which fathers exist and names matter. Whether this appeal could work is left entirely open. The poem trusts the image to carry its own ambivalence.

The dying cluster is the sequence's thematic center of gravity, distributed across multiple stanzas that accumulate into a sustained argument. "Let your dying be an occasion to bring out the best in onlookers" proposes dying as moral practice — not merely endured but performed, in the older sense of performed: brought to completion, given form. "Do not go to your death as an amateur: attend to dying for the research" extends this into epistemological territory. Dying is available only once and is therefore among the experiences most demanding of full attention — to go as an amateur is to waste the data. "So much dying, but still no dying-literacy — dying-literary, in fact, dying" is the sequence's great pun and its most devastating compressed argument. The wordplay enacts through sound what it argues through sense: the culture's literacy about dying is itself dying, the capacity to read death as a meaningful human event atrophying even as death-as-spectacle proliferates. "How much others could grow, shake / at least that intergenerational grudge / against life, seeing a dying done well!" completes the cluster: a well-attended death is among the most significant transmissions one generation can offer another.

"Only whenever the parents left / his bedside was the child allowed / the knowledge that he was dying" is the sequence's most quietly devastating entry. The parents' protection — their refusal to let the child know — deprives him of the one thing that would allow integration of his own dying. Knowledge of one's death becomes something received alone, in the gap between parental visits. The poem does not condemn the parents. The cost of their protection is named with precision; the motive for it is not disputed.

"In the grand theater of fake fury over the president's hot-mic boast that he 'grabs 'em / by the pussy,' she recast her soirée flex — worn like Cruella fur over years of milking / envy from starstruck primates — as mascara-tear MeToo (ripe with anal embellishment)" is the sequence's most politically volatile stanza, and it requires careful handling that neither flattens it into simple anti-feminist provocation nor insulates it from legitimate challenge. The target is not the MeToo movement but a specific figure of opportunistic appropriation: the socially elevated woman who converts a genuine political moment into personal brand extension, wearing feminist outrage as she has worn other markers of status — instrumentally, performatively, for the room. "Soirée flex," "starstruck primates," "Cruella fur," "anal embellishment" — the diction is deliberately excessive, calibrated to match the excess it diagnoses. The poem risks complicity with exactly the dismissal of women's political speech that it claims to be targeting within a subset. That risk is real and the poem does not resolve it. What it does is insist that the category of opportunistic appropriation exists, that it is not identical to the genuine movement, and that failing to name it out of protective solidarity is its own form of bad faith.

"Living in the time where humans / are becoming outdated need not mean / living in a time where they have no purpose" offers the sequence's most measured response to technological displacement anxiety. The distinction between obsolescence and purposelessness is genuine: a hammer does not cease to have a use when power tools arrive. The stanza refuses both the catastrophism that treats human redundancy as total and the optimism that denies the redundancy is occurring. It holds the middle position without sentimentality.

"Father's hands sudsing your own at the sink" arrives near the sequence's close as one of its most purely imagistic entries. No narrative, no argument — only the sensory memory of a specific domestic intimacy: the father's hands working soap into the child's at the sink, the intergenerational transmission of the simplest hygiene. The image accumulates against the sequence's other father observations — the half-hour window, the Mikey stanza — to suggest a complex paternal presence: unavailable, dangerous, and capable of this.

"That age when a child in the antebellum South / had to face that some of his best playmates / are just commodities — indeed, his very own" closes the sequence on one of its most morally exacting images. The child's developmental task — integrating the knowledge that those he plays with are property, and that some of that property is his — is rendered without historical distance. "His very own" arrives at the line's end with the full weight of possession's obscenity. The stanza does not editorialize. The horror is in the situation exactly described.

The final image — "king-of-the-mountain on dirt mounds / excavated from a mine, draglines / paused in the air for the holidays" — closes on a tableau of industrial and childhood scale superimposed. Children play king-of-the-mountain on the byproduct of extraction; the draglines are paused, enormous and idle, for a human holiday that the machines observe only by stopping. The image is not symbolic so much as exact: two scales of human activity — the child's game, the industrial operation — sharing the same ground, temporarily stilled by the same calendar. The sequence ends not on resolution but on this suspended image of scale, industry, play, and pause — the draglines in the air, going nowhere, waiting for the holiday to end.

Formally, Part 88 achieves its effects through contrast of scale and register more consistently than its companion installments. The cosmological ("sensing the dinosaur in the parrot eye," "microbial stowaways in space rock") sits against the micro-domestic ("father's hands sudsing your own at the sink," "looking for an undo button — / on the counter, on the floor — / after accidentally breaking the mug"). The undo button stanza is among the sequence's most psychologically exact: the reflex to look for a real-world control-Z, the body acting before the mind can correct it, names a form of grief-cognition that everyone has experienced and almost no one has articulated. Its placement among the dying stanzas gives it additional resonance: dying is the irreversible event for which no undo button exists and the body keeps looking anyway.

What Part 88 accumulates into is a sustained meditation on the management of the irreversible — dying badly, dying alone, dying with others present who will not say so, dying in institutional custody, dying with children who must wait for their parents to leave before they can know. The sequence's argument, distributed across its fragments, is that the culture has generated enormous machinery for the avoidance of this reckoning and very little for its conduct. The dying-literacy pun is the sequence's thesis: we are dying-illiterate, and the illiteracy itself is dying. What remains is the dragline in the air, paused, waiting for the holiday to end.

Meta Description

A mosaic poem installment organized around dying as medium rather than subject — moving through paternal estrangement, anticipatory grief, bodily humiliation, institutional violence, and the specific textures of human recognition, while building a sustained argument that the culture's dying-literacy is itself dying, leaving its citizens to face the irreversible without the tools to conduct it.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, dying-literacy, anticipatory grief, paternal estrangement, aphoristic poetry, body identification, institutional violence, MeToo opportunism, antebellum childhood, dying well, dragline imagery, undo button grief, hospice poetry, forgiveness as hygiene, cosmological aphorism, American mortality culture, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics, irreversibility and grief

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 87)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 87)

If the first 2017 installment established the mosaic's method — aphoristic fragment, juxtaposition without bridge, the full bandwidth of a contemporary intelligence scanning its moment — Part 87 extends that method into deeper register while intensifying two of its defining pressures: the poem's willingness to hold moral horror and wry observation in the same breath without resolving either into the other, and its insistence that no subject, however sacred or taboo, is exempt from the same quality of unflinching attention. The result is a sequence that is simultaneously funnier, more disturbing, more theologically ambitious, and more politically volatile than its predecessor — a larger hive, humming at higher frequency.

The poem opens on a motif that will recur throughout: the phone as instrument of self-evasion. "Phones to run to in fear of our own inner world" frames the device not as communication technology but as escape hatch — the contemporary equivalent of whatever humans have always reached for when interiority becomes unbearable. What distinguishes this formulation from standard screen-time critique is its precision about what is being fled. Not boredom, not loneliness, not distraction from productivity, but the inner world specifically — the self's encounter with itself. The phone, in this reading, is a form of self-administered anesthesia. It is placed immediately before "death-metal shirts from Walmart," which performs a different but related operation: the commodification of transgression, the domestication of symbolic violence into retail. The sequence implies that the phone and the death-metal shirt are serving comparable psychological functions — the one fleeing inwardness through distraction, the other performing darkness while purchasing it at mass-market price. Both are forms of managed encounter with what actually terrifies.

"Heavy-panting CO2 suffocation in a submarine sunken to depths beyond rescue" arrives without context — no narrative frame, no named disaster — and this is precisely its force. The image is visceral and total, a sealed environment in which the atmosphere becomes poison, in which waiting and dying are the same activity. Its placement between the Walmart shirt and the food-scarcity stanza creates a pressure gradient: the sequence moves from petty cultural contradiction to absolute physical extremity to systemic deprivation. The submarine image functions as a kind of depth marker — the poem is capable of sounding this far down, and it does so without announcement or ceremony.

"Public school attention scarcity from food scarcity" is one of the sequence's most compressed policy arguments. In four words before the preposition, it names the problem that school reformers, curriculum debates, and attention-deficit diagnoses have collectively failed to adequately address: that cognitive availability is a function of caloric availability, that children cannot attend to what they have not been fed. The stanza does not editorialize. It states the causal chain and moves on, leaving the reader to sit with the institutional failure the chain implies.

"Addicted to the people you hate, the world you are trying to negate" achieves something the poem manages repeatedly: a formulation that sounds epigrammatic but resists reduction to mere wit. The addiction model applied to hatred and negation captures something psychologically real about how opposition can become constitutive of identity — how the world one is against can become the primary structure of one's existence, so that its disappearance would leave not liberation but vacancy. The fragment is related to the later observation that "all this trendy talk of how mere critical speech / does violence — that allows the genuinely violent / to chalk up the claims of their victims to hysteria." Both engage the dynamics of antagonism: how opposition, correctly deployed, can become its own form of power, and how the language of harm can be co-opted to neutralize the testimony of the actually harmed.

The shopping cart girl stanza is among the sequence's most tender, and its tenderness is doing argumentative work. "The curbed elation on the face of the girl in the nest of a shopping cart, / clearly — just by that look she has of patient wonder — a good girl never / asking for much, as her mom hands her a box of rainbow-swirl ice pops." "Curbed elation" is exact: joy that has already learned to moderate itself, to not exceed the dimensions of what is offered. "Patient wonder" suggests a child who has developed equanimity not through abundance but through its absence — who has learned to find the extraordinary in the ordinary because the extraordinary is not otherwise available. "Never asking for much" is simultaneously admirable and devastating: it describes a child who has internalized scarcity as her proper scope. The "rainbow-swirl ice pops" arrive with the full specific weight of their cheap, cheerful, adequate reality. This is not pathos performed from outside. It is observation performed with care.

The self-talk stanza operates by stark juxtaposition with the external: "we would be horrified hearing someone say to another, / 'You're just too fucking fat for anyone to like you' — / yet we think nothing of it when we say it to ourselves." The horror, structurally, is that the internal register is not merely permitted but normalized, even encouraged in the language of self-improvement and honest self-assessment. The stanza implicates the wellness culture that appears elsewhere in the larger project: the same health-minded apparatus that restricts screens and theorizes fat praise generates, in its shadow, a vicious internal jurisprudence that would be immediately recognizable as abuse if externalized. The poem does not moralize the point. It simply performs the comparison.

The hospice stanza — "how is the mother ever to insist that the child, / cradled in a lap of her hospiced father for perhaps / the last time before cremation, go off to bed?" — achieves its force through the collision of the routine and the terminal. Bedtime is among the most ordinary of parental imperatives; its enforcement requires the willful interruption of a moment of irreplaceable tenderness. The question is genuinely unanswerable. The poem does not answer it. It holds the impossibility open without resolution, which is the only honest response available to it.

"Love, yes, creates death but death creates so much love — all-you-can-eat crab buffet" is the sequence's most tonally audacious move. The dialectical observation — that love generates mortal vulnerability, that death generates an intensity and generosity of feeling otherwise unavailable — is philosophically serious. The "all-you-can-eat crab buffet" appended to it refuses to let the observation aestheticize itself. The excess and the vulgarity and the democracy of the buffet — anyone can come, anyone can eat beyond reasonable limit — are brought to bear on the economy of grief-love. The buffet image is not mockery; it is a genuine extension of the claim, an insistence that death's love-generating power is not refined or selective but abundant and indiscriminate, available to all comers. The tonal collision enacts the argument.

The AI stanza — "that which evolves from us with enough / intelligence to mock us with penetration, / righteousness, superior to any human artist" — is among the more prescient in the sequence, written in 2017 when this was still largely speculative. What distinguishes it from standard AI anxiety is the specific verb: "mock." The intelligence that emerges from human data is imagined as satirist, not destroyer or assistant — something that has absorbed human culture fully enough to turn it back on us with greater accuracy and moral clarity than we bring to ourselves. "Righteousness" is the charged term: the AI achieves not merely technical superiority but an ethical vantage point from which human behavior is legible in its full contradiction. Whether this is to be feared or desired the poem does not say. The ambivalence is structural.

The theological stanzas form the sequence's most sustained philosophical argument, distributed across multiple entries. "Technically, the existence of a being worthy of a title / such as 'God' must be up to that being alone — / not something else (other-caused) or nothing (uncaused)" constitutes a compressed ontological argument that sidesteps the traditional Anselmian route. The claim is not that God necessarily exists but that the logical preconditions for the title require a self-caused being — one that cannot be derived from prior causes or from nothing. The "technically" is doing significant work: it acknowledges that this is a logical rather than experiential or revelatory claim, and it distances the speaker from full endorsement while establishing the internal coherence of the position. The dead-gods stanza extends this into comparative theology: "all the gods of once good standing, add them / to those of now good standing that believers reject — / yeah, we have a lot of dead gods on our hands." The argument is familiar from Enlightenment religious critique but the tone — "yeah," the casual accounting — strips it of its usual triumphalist atheism. The gods are dead, but their accumulated number is treated as a matter of wry inventory rather than liberation. The poem is not celebrating secular reason. It is noting what belief has historically produced and what it continues to produce, without declaring a victor.

"Feeling horrible about being bored by the bible — yawning even through passages / where God commands the slaughter of every Canaanite that breathes, including / babies nursing at the tit, for their love of bestiality and incest and child sacrifice" is the sequence's most sustained theological dark comedy. The horror is layered: the speaker feels guilt for boredom, when the appropriate response to the content might be moral outrage rather than boredom, and the content that provokes the boredom is itself among the most morally troubling in the canon. The stanza does not argue that the Bible is wrong, or that God does not exist, or that believers are foolish. It dramatizes the gap between the text's assumed sacred status and the phenomenological reality of reading it — a gap in which moral horror and aesthetic tedium collapse into each other.

"Imagine the potential horrors if people / really did believe in a paradise after death, / loving death as the rest of us love life" closes the sequence on its most chilling speculative note. The stanza does not argue that afterlife belief is false. It argues that the full logical consequence of sincere belief in paradise — genuinely loving death as the rest of us love life — would produce horrors that existing religious culture, in its partial and socially moderated forms of belief, manages to avoid. The horror is not in the belief itself but in its full actualization: a world in which death is the goal, not the threat. This connects directly to the earlier fatwa stanza — "fatwas against suicide bombings conveniently unreported" — and together they form the sequence's most sustained engagement with religious violence, approached not through outrage but through the cold logic of what sincere belief, fully acted upon, would actually require.

The sequence's formal range — from two-line observations to six-line narrative fragments, from single nouns ("bum tans," "sexually transmitted fleas") to sustained conditional arguments — refuses any single modality. The ultra-compressed entries are not merely aphorisms but pressure-points: "homes with only two spoons," "sincere as pig shrieks," "chest freezers in mudrooms" — images that carry entire social and economic worlds in a phrase. The single-noun and two-word entries operate differently from the extended tercets: they are the poem breathing in sharply before the longer exhalations. The rhythm of the sequence enacts the associative movement of consciousness through a day, a news cycle, a lifetime of accumulated observation — never settling into any register long enough to become that register's prisoner.

Part 87 of "Made for You and Me" is the hive at full roar: funnier than its predecessor, more dangerous, more theologically engaged, more willing to hold tenderness and grotesquerie in the same breath. It extends the project's fundamental wager — that an intelligence willing to look at everything without deciding in advance what deserves seriousness will produce, in the aggregate, a more honest account of its moment than any curated lyric or organized argument can. The hive does not editorialize. It hums at every frequency simultaneously and trusts the reader to hear what they are capable of hearing.

Meta Description

The second installment of the 2017 portion of "Made for You and Me" extends the mosaic poem's aphoristic method into deeper theological, political, and psychological territory — moving from AI prophecy and dead-gods inventory to shopping-cart tenderness and biblical dark comedy, holding the full range of contemporary consciousness without deciding in advance which of its contents deserves the most serious attention.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, aphoristic poetry, theological satire, dead gods, AI and mockery, food scarcity attention, self-talk and abuse, hospice poetry, afterlife horror, religious violence logic, fat shame, suicide bombing fatwas, shopping cart poverty, all-you-can-eat buffet grief, contemporary American poetry, 2017 poetry, cultural fragment poetry, phone and interiority, death-metal Walmart, CO2 submarine, biblical dark comedy, Canaanite slaughter poetry

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Subway Restraint (ROUND 8)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Subway Restraint (ROUND 8)

“Subway Restraint” is a work about the psychology of humiliation and the extraordinary structures of thought that arise when humiliation is denied ordinary release. At the most superficial level, the piece concerns a confrontation on public transportation. Yet the confrontation itself quickly becomes secondary. The true subject is what occurs within consciousness after the event. The subway car serves as a catalyst. What unfolds is an anatomy of grievance, fantasy, ideological identity, self-control, and the precarious boundary between thought and action.

The Shelby Steele epigraph is indispensable to understanding the work. It is not ornamental framing but the intellectual architecture upon which everything else rests. By opening with Steele, the narrative immediately situates itself within questions of agency, victimhood, dignity, dependency, and self-respect. The subway encounter is therefore never merely a subway encounter. The narrator experiences it through an already established philosophical lens. A blocked train door becomes evidence in a larger case. A moment of disrespect becomes entangled with a lifetime of perceived betrayals, exclusions, and humiliations. The result is a consciousness that cannot experience the immediate without simultaneously experiencing the historical.

One of the work’s most impressive achievements is the way it reproduces the actual mechanics of anger. Human beings rarely remain focused upon the incident that initially provoked them. Anger expands through association. A present slight recruits previous slights. Personal grievances recruit political grievances. Political grievances recruit historical grievances. The mind gradually constructs a total explanation for why the world has become intolerable. “Subway Restraint” captures this process with unusual fidelity. The narrative begins in a cramped physical environment—a subway doorway—but soon unfolds into a sweeping audit of culture, politics, race, education, crime, historical memory, and civilizational decline. The expansion feels convincing because it mirrors the way rage actually behaves within consciousness.

Yet the title directs attention toward a deeper achievement. The work is not ultimately about anger. It is about restraint. Indeed, the title appears almost paradoxical because the piece contains so much violent fantasy. The narrator imagines retaliation repeatedly. He constructs elaborate scenarios of retribution. His thoughts become increasingly extreme. Yet nothing happens. The violence remains imaginary. The defining fact of the narrative is not aggression but the refusal of aggression to cross into action.

This is where the recurring breathing exercises become structurally brilliant. At first glance they appear incidental—small self-help techniques inserted amid a torrent of ideological reflection. In reality they form the backbone of the work. The instructions to regulate the breath, reposition the jaw, and ground the body interrupt what would otherwise become an uninterrupted cascade of fury. These moments continually return the reader to the physical reality of restraint. While the narrator's imagination spirals outward, his body remains still. While his mind races toward confrontation, his behavior remains controlled. The result is a peculiar doubling of consciousness. Outwardly he performs composure. Inwardly he conducts a furious trial of modernity itself.

The narrative therefore operates through a principle of sustained deferral. It continually approaches release while refusing release. The tension accumulates precisely because the expected explosion never arrives. In this sense, the work functions almost as an exercise in psychic edging. The narrator repeatedly heightens emotional pressure while denying himself the discharge that would resolve it. The reader becomes trapped within this same circuit. Every escalation promises catharsis. None arrives. The frustration becomes the point.

The piece is equally compelling in its construction of character. The narrator is not presented as a simple victim, a simple reactionary, or a simple ideologue. Rather, he emerges as a figure of profound alienation. He appears culturally homeless. He feels estranged from progressive whites, from dominant forms of black political identity, and from much of contemporary society. His language reinforces this isolation. The prose moves effortlessly between academic discourse, historical argument, internet culture, political commentary, and street vernacular. This verbal range creates the impression of a highly educated mind unable to find a stable community capable of receiving it. The narrator’s rage is therefore inseparable from loneliness.

This loneliness explains why the work is so much more psychologically interesting than a mere political screed. Beneath the historical references, demographic arguments, and ideological grievances lies a deeper longing: the desire for recognition. Again and again the narrator returns to situations in which he feels unseen, dismissed, caricatured, or reduced. The subway confrontation acquires such intensity because it condenses this recurring experience into a single moment. The people blocking the door become symbols of a broader social world that refuses to acknowledge him on his own terms.

The prose style contributes significantly to this effect. The language is unusually dense, moving with a velocity that often feels manic. Compound constructions, historical references, compressed arguments, and emotionally charged formulations create the sense of a mind thinking faster than social reality can accommodate. This style is essential to the work's power. The reader experiences not only the narrator's conclusions but the speed with which those conclusions are reached. The prose does not calmly explain alienation; it performs alienation.

Perhaps the most unsettling aspect of the piece is its treatment of fantasy itself. Many narratives encourage readers either to identify with a fantasy or to condemn it. “Subway Restraint” does neither. Instead, it examines fantasy as a psychological phenomenon. The narrator's imagined acts of retaliation never deliver the satisfaction they promise. They merely generate additional fantasies, additional arguments, additional grievances. Revenge becomes self-perpetuating. The mind feeds upon its own injuries. The work thereby reveals an uncomfortable truth: fantasies of power often deepen rather than alleviate feelings of powerlessness.

The ultimate achievement of “Subway Restraint” lies in its refusal to present moral life as a matter of pure thoughts. The narrator is not virtuous because he lacks violent impulses. He is virtuous, if virtue is the correct word, because he does not act upon them. The distinction is crucial. The piece recognizes that civilization depends not upon the elimination of destructive desires but upon the difficult and frequently exhausting labor of managing them. Restraint appears neither glamorous nor triumphant. It is simply the decision not to become the person one's anger momentarily demands one become.

For this reason, the work's deepest concern is not politics but self-mastery. Politics provides the vocabulary through which the narrator interprets his wounds, but the central drama unfolds within the psyche itself. The subway confrontation becomes a laboratory for examining what happens when injury seeks meaning, when grievance seeks narrative, and when fantasy seeks embodiment. The answer the work provides is unsettling but profound: what saves us is often not enlightenment, forgiveness, or reconciliation, but the far more fragile achievement of refusing to act.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic analysis of humiliation, grievance, ideological alienation, fantasy, self-mastery, and the moral significance of restraint in the face of escalating rage.

Keywords

Subway Restraint, Shelby Steele, grievance, humiliation, restraint, revenge fantasy, anger psychology, self-mastery, ideological alienation, narcissistic injury, race and identity, political consciousness, fantasy and violence, moral psychology, contemporary fiction analysis, philosophical literature, psychoanalytic criticism, resentment, dignity, recognition.

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Subway Restraint (ROUND 7)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Subway Restraint (ROUND 7)

“Subway Restraint” is a work about the psychology of humiliation and the extraordinary structures of thought that arise when humiliation is denied ordinary release. At the most superficial level, the piece concerns a confrontation on public transportation. Yet the confrontation itself quickly becomes secondary. The true subject is what occurs within consciousness after the event. The subway car serves as a catalyst. What unfolds is an anatomy of grievance, fantasy, ideological identity, self-control, and the precarious boundary between thought and action.

The Shelby Steele epigraph is indispensable to understanding the work. It is not ornamental framing but the intellectual architecture upon which everything else rests. By opening with Steele, the narrative immediately situates itself within questions of agency, victimhood, dignity, dependency, and self-respect. The subway encounter is therefore never merely a subway encounter. The narrator experiences it through an already established philosophical lens. A blocked train door becomes evidence in a larger case. A moment of disrespect becomes entangled with a lifetime of perceived betrayals, exclusions, and humiliations. The result is a consciousness that cannot experience the immediate without simultaneously experiencing the historical.

One of the work’s most impressive achievements is the way it reproduces the actual mechanics of anger. Human beings rarely remain focused upon the incident that initially provoked them. Anger expands through association. A present slight recruits previous slights. Personal grievances recruit political grievances. Political grievances recruit historical grievances. The mind gradually constructs a total explanation for why the world has become intolerable. “Subway Restraint” captures this process with unusual fidelity. The narrative begins in a cramped physical environment—a subway doorway—but soon unfolds into a sweeping audit of culture, politics, race, education, crime, historical memory, and civilizational decline. The expansion feels convincing because it mirrors the way rage actually behaves within consciousness.

Yet the title directs attention toward a deeper achievement. The work is not ultimately about anger. It is about restraint. Indeed, the title appears almost paradoxical because the piece contains so much violent fantasy. The narrator imagines retaliation repeatedly. He constructs elaborate scenarios of retribution. His thoughts become increasingly extreme. Yet nothing happens. The violence remains imaginary. The defining fact of the narrative is not aggression but the refusal of aggression to cross into action.

This is where the recurring breathing exercises become structurally brilliant. At first glance they appear incidental—small self-help techniques inserted amid a torrent of ideological reflection. In reality they form the backbone of the work. The instructions to regulate the breath, reposition the jaw, and ground the body interrupt what would otherwise become an uninterrupted cascade of fury. These moments continually return the reader to the physical reality of restraint. While the narrator's imagination spirals outward, his body remains still. While his mind races toward confrontation, his behavior remains controlled. The result is a peculiar doubling of consciousness. Outwardly he performs composure. Inwardly he conducts a furious trial of modernity itself.

The narrative therefore operates through a principle of sustained deferral. It continually approaches release while refusing release. The tension accumulates precisely because the expected explosion never arrives. In this sense, the work functions almost as an exercise in psychic edging. The narrator repeatedly heightens emotional pressure while denying himself the discharge that would resolve it. The reader becomes trapped within this same circuit. Every escalation promises catharsis. None arrives. The frustration becomes the point.

The piece is equally compelling in its construction of character. The narrator is not presented as a simple victim, a simple reactionary, or a simple ideologue. Rather, he emerges as a figure of profound alienation. He appears culturally homeless. He feels estranged from progressive whites, from dominant forms of black political identity, and from much of contemporary society. His language reinforces this isolation. The prose moves effortlessly between academic discourse, historical argument, internet culture, political commentary, and street vernacular. This verbal range creates the impression of a highly educated mind unable to find a stable community capable of receiving it. The narrator’s rage is therefore inseparable from loneliness.

This loneliness explains why the work is so much more psychologically interesting than a mere political screed. Beneath the historical references, demographic arguments, and ideological grievances lies a deeper longing: the desire for recognition. Again and again the narrator returns to situations in which he feels unseen, dismissed, caricatured, or reduced. The subway confrontation acquires such intensity because it condenses this recurring experience into a single moment. The people blocking the door become symbols of a broader social world that refuses to acknowledge him on his own terms.

The prose style contributes significantly to this effect. The language is unusually dense, moving with a velocity that often feels manic. Compound constructions, historical references, compressed arguments, and emotionally charged formulations create the sense of a mind thinking faster than social reality can accommodate. This style is essential to the work's power. The reader experiences not only the narrator's conclusions but the speed with which those conclusions are reached. The prose does not calmly explain alienation; it performs alienation.

Perhaps the most unsettling aspect of the piece is its treatment of fantasy itself. Many narratives encourage readers either to identify with a fantasy or to condemn it. “Subway Restraint” does neither. Instead, it examines fantasy as a psychological phenomenon. The narrator's imagined acts of retaliation never deliver the satisfaction they promise. They merely generate additional fantasies, additional arguments, additional grievances. Revenge becomes self-perpetuating. The mind feeds upon its own injuries. The work thereby reveals an uncomfortable truth: fantasies of power often deepen rather than alleviate feelings of powerlessness.

The ultimate achievement of “Subway Restraint” lies in its refusal to present moral life as a matter of pure thoughts. The narrator is not virtuous because he lacks violent impulses. He is virtuous, if virtue is the correct word, because he does not act upon them. The distinction is crucial. The piece recognizes that civilization depends not upon the elimination of destructive desires but upon the difficult and frequently exhausting labor of managing them. Restraint appears neither glamorous nor triumphant. It is simply the decision not to become the person one's anger momentarily demands one become.

For this reason, the work's deepest concern is not politics but self-mastery. Politics provides the vocabulary through which the narrator interprets his wounds, but the central drama unfolds within the psyche itself. The subway confrontation becomes a laboratory for examining what happens when injury seeks meaning, when grievance seeks narrative, and when fantasy seeks embodiment. The answer the work provides is unsettling but profound: what saves us is often not enlightenment, forgiveness, or reconciliation, but the far more fragile achievement of refusing to act.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic analysis of humiliation, grievance, ideological alienation, fantasy, self-mastery, and the moral significance of restraint in the face of escalating rage.

Keywords

Subway Restraint, Shelby Steele, grievance, humiliation, restraint, revenge fantasy, anger psychology, self-mastery, ideological alienation, narcissistic injury, race and identity, political consciousness, fantasy and violence, moral psychology, contemporary fiction analysis, philosophical literature, psychoanalytic criticism, resentment, dignity, recognition.

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The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 6)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 6)

“The Art of Subtraction” is a poem about the psychic crisis of succession. More specifically, it is about what happens when love for one's child collides with the recognition that the child's ascent necessarily coincides with one's own displacement. Countless works celebrate parenthood as continuity, legacy, or immortality through descendants. This poem is interested in a far more difficult question: how does one endure becoming secondary? How does one learn to welcome the flourishing of another person when that flourishing increasingly reveals that one's own season at the center of things is ending?

The title announces the poem's governing insight. Subtraction is not presented as catastrophe but as discipline. The speaker imagines the possibility that diminishment itself might be cultivated as an art. Yet the poem never romanticizes this prospect. The subtraction in question is not a serene spiritual exercise undertaken from a position of wisdom. It is experienced as resistance, shame, grief, and psychic strain. The poem's emotional power derives from the fact that the speaker understands what is being asked of him long before he knows whether he possesses the strength to comply.

The opening establishes this struggle through inheritance. The speaker's confession that it takes “everything inside me” to look directly at his son immediately links relational difficulty to his own father before him. This is one of the poem's first major insights: what is inherited is not merely temperament but posture toward intimacy itself. The father's “shifty eyes” become the son's shifty eyes. What once appeared from the perspective of childhood as indifference or evasiveness now appears as the visible symptom of a deeper burden. The speaker arrives at a painful sympathy for the dead. He discovers that the very behavior he once found frustrating may have emerged from pressures he only now understands.

That pressure centers on the child's gaze. The son appears throughout the poem as a figure of vitality, possibility, and presence. His eyes are “energized” and “hopeful.” His childhood eccentricities remain preserved in memory with extraordinary vividness. The little nose in the bathroom mirror, the “Bip it. Bop it.” refrain, the diapers whose numbered days seemed endless while they were occurring—all survive with greater intensity than entire years. The poem understands memory not as a rational archive but as a system governed by emotional force. What remains is often arbitrary, yet its persistence feels absolute.

Importantly, however, the speaker recognizes that nostalgia alone cannot explain his distress. The poem contains one of its most revealing moments when he acknowledges that reducing the problem to sentimental memories would constitute “vain evasion.” This self-correction is characteristic of the poem's intelligence. Again and again, it refuses explanations that are emotionally satisfying but incomplete. The son's childhood matters, but it is not the true source of the father's anguish.

The deeper source emerges as the son matures. One of the poem's most devastating observations concerns the child's gradual movement beyond self-absorption. The son's youthful “gab of vigor” has begun to soften into something “considerate.” He is becoming capable of empathy. Ordinarily such growth would be cause for celebration. Here it becomes painful. The speaker realizes that the child is approaching the age at which he will begin to see his father not as a center of gravity but as a vulnerable human being. The phrase “mercy for Dad” carries tremendous psychological weight. Rebellion would preserve hierarchy. Compassion reverses it. To be pitied by one's child is to confront the erosion of parental authority at its deepest level.

This is where the poem departs from more familiar narratives of aging. The crisis is not physical decline. Nor is it merely mortality. The true crisis is decentering. The son increasingly occupies the position once occupied by the father. What the speaker confronts is not death itself but the transfer of significance from one generation to another.

The bathroom mirror scene crystallizes this realization. Seeking a moment of solitude, the speaker looks at himself and experiences the act almost as a criminal arraignment. He appears “like an ankle-cuffed criminal ushered into court / for his disgrace.” The image is remarkable because it transforms self-awareness into self-prosecution. The speaker is not judged by society but by reality itself. Looking at his body becomes an encounter with evidence.

Yet the poem refuses simple self-loathing. What the speaker sees in the mirror is simultaneously degrading and exalted. He finds “Apollo's torso,” invoking Rilke's famous encounter with classical beauty and the imperative “You must change your life.” This allusion is central because the poem fundamentally revises Rilke's vision. In Rilke, transformation points toward expansion, growth, and greater realization of the self. Here the injunction is joined by a second command: “Face it. Your time is over.”

The genius of the poem lies in its recognition that both statements are true.

One must change one's life.

One's time is over.

The speaker discovers that genuine transformation at this stage of existence may consist not in becoming more but in learning how to become less. The traditional narrative of self-actualization reaches its limit. A new task emerges: the cultivation of graceful irrelevance.

The poem's final movement develops this insight into an ethical ideal. The speaker imagines becoming “he who can bear not being / the center,” and eventually “he who can sing / backstage.” These lines contain the poem's deepest wisdom. They propose a model of human flourishing radically opposed to contemporary assumptions. Modern life encourages endless self-expansion, visibility, and relevance. The poem suggests that maturity may instead require learning how to support the performance without demanding the spotlight.

The metaphor of apprenticeship is especially important. The speaker imagines training himself for erasure. Erasure is not avoided, denied, or conquered. It is practiced. The phrase “art of subtraction” therefore names a discipline of preparing oneself for the reality that awaits all living things. The poem does not seek immortality. It seeks dignity within impermanence.

Yet the poem remains psychologically honest enough to acknowledge how difficult this project is. The figure of the speaker's father returns near the end, head bowed over stacked beer cans, diminished beneath the brightness of youth. This image represents one possible response to succession: retreat, bitterness, and defeat. The speaker understands the appeal of that road because it preserves identification with the father. It offers continuity. To follow the father's path would be, in a sense, to remain connected to him.

This recognition gives the final lines their extraordinary emotional complexity. The speaker admits that if he fails, “at least I walk beside him.” The statement is neither surrender nor triumph. It is an acknowledgment that transcendence of inherited patterns is never complete. Love pulls in multiple directions at once. One wishes to surpass one's father, yet one also wishes to remain loyal to him. One wishes to celebrate the son's future, yet one mourns one's own fading centrality.

Ultimately, “The Art of Subtraction” is a poem about a transformation more difficult than self-improvement. It is about learning to inhabit a world in which one is no longer the protagonist. The speaker does not arrive at mastery. What he achieves instead is clarity. He recognizes that the highest demand placed upon him is not success, wisdom, or even happiness, but the ability to love another person enough to survive becoming secondary to them. The poem's greatness lies in its willingness to admit how painful—and how beautiful—that task can be.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic meditation on fatherhood, aging, succession, inherited masculine retreat, and the difficult art of surrendering centrality without surrendering love.

Keywords

The Art of Subtraction, fatherhood, generational succession, paternal psychology, aging and identity, Rilke, Apollo's Torso, ego decentering, narcissism and parenthood, masculine inheritance, father-son relationship, memory and aging, psychoanalytic poetry, mortality, self-erasure, humility, relational identity, contemporary poetry analysis, existential maturity, philosophical poetry criticism.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 86)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 86)

This installment of Made for You and Me operates through a form that might be described as aphoristic accumulation. Unlike a conventional lyric poem that develops a single scene, voice, or argument, the poem advances by juxtaposition, placing observation beside observation until larger patterns emerge from their interaction. The individual fragments often appear unrelated on first reading—a midnight train whistle, a pregnancy test, a therapist unable to hug a child, a pilot describing an unidentified aircraft—but as the sequence unfolds, recurring concerns begin to reveal themselves. The poem becomes a sustained meditation on self-deception, moral inconsistency, technological transformation, mortality, and the often painful distance between comforting narratives and material realities.

One of the poem's central preoccupations is humanity's tendency to elevate desires into truths. This concern appears explicitly in the fragment “elevating a hope into a truth,” but the insight reverberates throughout the sequence. The line about “fossils contradicting scripture, in place to test our faith” exemplifies the phenomenon. The speaker is less interested in theology itself than in the psychological maneuver by which contradictory evidence is reinterpreted so that a preexisting belief remains intact. Similar dynamics appear in “trying to prove otherwise to naysayers at least might result / in your religion ... actually transforming into one of peace,” where belief systems are shown to evolve not solely from doctrine but from the social pressure exerted by criticism. Again and again, the poem returns to the gap between what people want to be true and what they are willing to acknowledge as true.

Closely related to this concern is the poem's fascination with rationalization. Many of its most memorable fragments expose the subtle ways individuals preserve preferred narratives despite overwhelming counterevidence. “More realistic this time, his promise is never to hit her again full force” captures in miniature the logic of abusive compromise, where a moral failure is not abandoned but merely moderated. Likewise, the devastating observation that “the mother scrubs the soap but not the boyfriend; changes the diet / but not the company she fucks” presents a portrait of misdirected causality. The poem repeatedly identifies situations in which enormous effort is expended addressing symptoms while obvious underlying causes remain untouched.

This skepticism extends beyond personal relationships into broader cultural and political domains. The fragment asking whether “losing your job, even being fined, / for accidentally failing to use / a preferred pronoun—is that a bad sign?” is not presented as a settled answer but as an invitation to examine the proportionality of social sanctions. Similarly, the observation that “how could it be craziness if everyone participates in it?” interrogates the relationship between consensus and truth. Throughout the poem, widespread acceptance is treated not as proof but as a phenomenon requiring scrutiny.

A second major theme involves the instability of concepts such as “natural” and “unnatural.” The sequence repeatedly returns to these categories only to dissolve them. The declaration that “what is ‘natural’ for us is to expand the universe of what is natural” functions almost as a thesis statement. Human beings are distinguished precisely by their refusal to remain within inherited limits. This idea reappears later in “some say that it is unnatural / to extend life, but as humans / it seems unnatural not to try to.” The poem's argument is not that everything humans do is natural in some simplistic sense, but that humanity's defining characteristic may be its perpetual modification of its own conditions of existence.

Technology occupies a particularly important place in this inquiry. The poem imagines “a new world of technology where what causes pleasure is not so harmful anymore,” while elsewhere describing “heroic doses of hallucinogens from which you do not know if you will ever get back.” Such lines reveal a recurring concern with the relationship between desire and consequence. Human history appears as a continual effort to secure rewards while minimizing costs, yet the poem remains uncertain whether such a project can ever fully succeed.

Mortality forms another organizing principle beneath the sequence's apparent fragmentation. The “midnight train whistle, too distant to jar you from dozing,” the scholars “itinerating cemeteries for the epitaphs,” and the “revolutionary change in your relationship with mortality” all contribute to an atmosphere haunted by finitude. Yet unlike many meditations on death, the poem's interest lies less in mortality itself than in the narratives humans construct around it. The striking observation that “that God is dead to us is perhaps most manifest / when even devout beloveds scoff with skepticism / at our claim of a spiritual bond with them” suggests that secularization reveals itself not only through declining religious practice but through changing assumptions about intimacy, transcendence, and meaning.

The poem is equally attentive to the distortions produced by media and language. One of its finest moments recounts how a pilot's statement that an unidentified aircraft “moved in a skipping fashion, / like if you wung a tea saucer across a pond” became condensed by journalists into “Pilot sees flying saucers.” The fragment illustrates how description becomes narrative and narrative becomes myth. Human beings do not merely encounter reality; they continuously reshape it through language. The poem's form itself reflects this insight, offering snapshots rather than comprehensive accounts and thereby forcing readers to participate in the construction of meaning.

A particularly rich tension emerges between symbolic and anti-symbolic modes of thought. The line “details in an anti-symbolist poem accruing symbolic weight” functions as a kind of metafictional commentary on the sequence itself. The poem often presents observations in a deliberately direct or literal manner, yet the cumulative effect is profoundly symbolic. Individual fragments become representative of broader human tendencies, and the reader inevitably begins connecting them into thematic constellations. The poem acknowledges that meaning-making may be unavoidable even when one consciously resists it.

The sequence's emotional power derives largely from its refusal to divide humanity into heroes and villains. Even its harshest observations tend to reveal common psychological mechanisms rather than exceptional depravity. The person holding a non-alcoholic beer merely to avoid explaining sobriety, the individual anxious after sleeping through part of the day, the parent weaponizing divine authority, the activist, the addict, the believer, and the skeptic all occupy the same moral landscape. The poem's gaze is unsparing but rarely self-righteous. It treats human beings as creatures continually improvising explanations for themselves while struggling to navigate desires, fears, and social pressures they only partially understand.

Ultimately, this section of Made for You and Me is less a collection of observations than an anatomy of consciousness. Its fragments repeatedly expose the mechanisms through which people construct meaning, justify actions, maintain identities, and evade uncomfortable truths. The mosaic form proves especially suited to this project because it mirrors the structure of thought itself: discontinuous, associative, contradictory, and yet capable of generating larger patterns. What emerges is a portrait of humanity as a species suspended between self-deception and self-awareness, forever inventing stories while periodically glimpsing the realities those stories were designed to conceal.

Meta Description

A philosophical mosaic poem examining self-deception, rationalization, mortality, technology, belief, language, and humanity's persistent tendency to transform desires into truths.

Keywords

mosaic poetry, aphoristic poetry, self-deception, rationalization, mortality, belief systems, technology and humanity, social criticism, philosophical poetry, contemporary poetry analysis, symbolic meaning, language and perception, human nature, skepticism, ideology, modernity, consciousness, cultural critique, existential reflection, fragment poetry

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SpongeBob SquarePants (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

SpongeBob SquarePants (ROUND 1)

"SpongeBob SquarePants" is a poem about the unintended cruelties of conscientious parenting. Its argument is structured as a single grammatical sentence distributed across three tercets, and its central move is an inversion: the cultural product that health-minded parents identify as the risk turns out to be the immunization, and the deprivation they enact in the name of health turns out to be the pathogen. The poem's provocation is not that screens are good for children. It is that the cost of screen abstinence has been catastrophically miscalculated by parents who are operating with an incomplete model of what health requires.

The title does the poem's heaviest conceptual work before the first line begins. "SpongeBob SquarePants" is not merely a reference to a children's cartoon; it names the specific content of what the poem will call "peer currency." The title is the currency itself — the shared cultural knowledge that constitutes social belonging among children, the conversational medium through which friendships are made and tested and sustained. By installing the cartoon's full proper name as the poem's title, the poem insists on a kind of dignity for the content that the health-minded parents deny it. SpongeBob is not noise or waste. It is a social environment, a lexicon, a form of literacy — the one that matters most in the only economy children actually inhabit.

"Peer currency" is the poem's most compressed and generative coinage. It frames cultural knowledge as economic capital: what you need to trade in the social market of childhood, the medium of exchange without which you are not simply poor but unable to participate in the transaction at all. The screen-deprived child is not merely missing entertainment; they are missing the means of exchange. They arrive at the social economy bankrupt in the only denomination accepted. The word "currency" also implies that this knowledge circulates, that it has value only in relation to other holders, that its power is collective rather than intrinsic. You cannot spend peer currency alone.

The parenthetical embedded in the middle tercet — "(just a few Shakespeare plays / short of retarded)" — is the poem's most explosive formal and semantic device. It operates on several registers simultaneously. First, it deploys the familiar idiom-type ("a few sandwiches short of a picnic") to name the social perception visited upon the screen-deprived child by their peers. Second, it invokes "retarded" not as the speaker's diagnostic term but as the social verdict delivered by the peer group — the word that circulates among children, with its full derogatory charge, to name those who cannot function in the shared cultural currency. Third, and most precisely, it activates the word's clinical etymology: to retard means to delay, to hold back. These children are genuinely delayed — held back from the peer culture that constitutes their developmental environment — by the very intervention meant to advance them. The word thus enacts its own double meaning. But the parenthetical's deepest irony operates through its content: Shakespeare. The implied alternative to SpongeBob — the high-cultural program that health-minded parents would substitute — is precisely what marks these children as deficient in peer terms. The more Shakespeare, the less SpongeBob, and the more the child appears intellectually and socially disabled to the only judges whose verdict matters to them. High culture, in the social economy of childhood, is not capital but liability.

"Health-minded parents" is perhaps the poem's most carefully calibrated phrase. It does not say negligent parents, or ignorant parents, or cruel parents. It says health-minded — parents who have thought carefully about their children's wellbeing, consulted the literature, made deliberate choices in the name of long-term flourishing. The poem does not dispute their intentions. It disputes their model of health — specifically, its incompleteness. "Neglecting loneliness's impact / on longevity" invokes a now-substantial body of research establishing social isolation as a major determinant of lifespan, comparable in effect to smoking. The health-minded parent who restricts screen time to reduce one category of risk has failed to account for the greater risk of social exclusion. The irony is structural, not personal: a health framework that omits loneliness is not a health framework but a partial one, and partial health frameworks produce the harms they omit to calculate.

"Our ecosystem of endless screens" is where the poem's "our" becomes significant. The speaker does not stand outside the screen culture in judgment; the first-person plural implicates them — and the reader — in the ecosystem being described. "Ecosystem" is the poem's other major coinage. It naturalizes the screen environment: not a product, not a pollution, not an entertainment industry, but a habitat with its own logic, inhabitants, interdependencies, and survival requirements. To resist an ecosystem is not to make a consumer choice but to refuse a biome. The children whose parents make this refusal on their behalf are not protected from the ecosystem; they are simply excluded from it, which in biological terms is not safety but exposure of a different kind.

Formally, the poem's single-sentence architecture performs its argumentative logic. The sentence cannot be abandoned mid-clause; it must be followed through to its completion, just as the causal chain it describes — from health-minded resistance to social crippling — must be followed through to its conclusion. The two dashes create the sentence's two major suspensions: "crippled—" opens a wound that the subsequent clauses fill; "retarded)—" completes the social verdict before pivoting to causality. "Because" is the poem's hinge, and its position — straddling the second and third tercets — marks the structural center of the argument. The poem does not merely observe; it explains, and the explanation lands, in the final line, on "screens" — the word against which the entire health-minded apparatus had been organized, returned now as the term of the culture the children have been denied.

In the context of the broader project, the poem extends the work's sustained interest in the unintended pathologies of wellness culture — the same interest that drives "Endgame Wegovy" and the fat-praise stanzas of the mosaic. There, pharmaceutical capital waits for health culture to exhaust itself; here, health culture exhausts its children directly. The poem does not argue against health. It argues against health frameworks that mistake the absence of one risk for the presence of wellbeing — frameworks that, in their vigilance against the visible danger, produce the invisible one at scale.

Meta Description

A poem about the social cost of screen restriction — arguing that children denied access to the peer currency of shared screen culture are rendered permanently socially deficient by health-minded parents who, in calculating one category of risk, neglect the loneliness research that makes social exclusion the greater threat to longevity.

Keywords

SpongeBob SquarePants poem, peer currency, screen time parenting, childhood social exclusion, loneliness and longevity, health-minded parenting critique, wellness culture poetry, contemporary American poetry, unintended consequences parenting, screen ecosystem, aphoristic poetry, cultural capital children, social isolation health, single-sentence poem, contemporary satire parenting

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Salome (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Salome (ROUND 1)

“Salome” is a story about desire after desire, theft after ownership, and mortality after ambition. Set in the year 2079, it presents an elderly writer confined to a nursing home, watching a young aide gradually work up the courage to steal a bottle of perfume from what remains of his once-vast collection. Yet the theft is merely the narrative occasion for a far more expansive meditation on aging, memory, determinism, eros, and the strange persistence of selfhood after the structures that once sustained it have largely disappeared. The story asks a deceptively simple question: what remains of a person when desire has not entirely vanished but has ceased to matter?

The opening immediately situates the reader within a landscape of loss. The narrator watches “the aide in her residential pink,” while the five surviving bottles of perfume sit on a nursing-home nightstand, “the place whose faroff dread feels too like yesterday.” The phrase collapses decades into an instant. Old age is not presented as a distant destination finally reached but as a condition that seems to have arrived almost immediately. Time itself has undergone compression. This effect is reinforced by the detail that the narrator's son, once a child listening to Minecraft songs in the car, is now himself elderly. The story repeatedly emphasizes that entire lifetimes can appear, from the vantage of extreme age, as little more than brief interruptions.

Memory occupies a central place in this temporal collapse. Significantly, the memories that endure are not grand accomplishments but fragments of cultural debris: advertising jingles, children's songs, stray lyrics. The Minecraft refrain, “Don’t mine at night!,” loops endlessly in the narrator's mind, while old commercial songs survive with equal tenacity. These memories are described as being “more resistant to submersion than ever,” suggesting that consciousness in old age becomes less a curated archive than a field in which certain recurring fragments stubbornly refuse extinction. The image of “squirrels scrabbling up the sides of a drown bucket” brilliantly captures this phenomenon. Memory is no longer governed by deliberate recollection but by involuntary persistence.

Against this backdrop enters the aide and, with her, the story's central symbolic object: perfume. The young woman repeatedly returns to smell the narrator's bottles, eventually lingering over Salome. Perfume functions throughout the story as a material repository of desire and history. Unlike photographs or written documents, fragrances preserve emotional worlds through sensory association. Salome is not merely a scent but a condensed philosophy of human nature. The narrator describes it as “orange blossom and jasmine, castoreum and hyraceum, cumin and musk,” a composition that leads human beings back toward “the indolic petals, the pissy and fecal muff, out of which we used to come.” The language is deliberately provocative, yet its function is philosophical rather than merely transgressive. The fragrance becomes an emblem of continuity between civilization and animality, refinement and bodily origin.

This concern with humanity's animal foundations recurs throughout the story. The aide is described as looking around “like the chimp no neural implant could have stopped us from being.” The observation is characteristic of the narrator's worldview. Technological advancement has transformed society, yet beneath these transformations human beings remain fundamentally continuous with their evolutionary inheritance. The aide's temptation to steal, her furtive glances, her attraction to the perfume—all are interpreted not as moral failings but as expressions of an underlying biological condition.

Indeed, one of the story's most striking features is its sustained critique of shame. The narrator explicitly reflects that “the hackles of conscience need not involve any shame” and that “shame is not the only fuel for improvement.” These reflections reveal a philosophical position developed over an entire lifetime. The narrator views shame as an unnecessary and often destructive mechanism of social regulation. What matters is not whether individuals experience shame but whether they understand themselves. The aide's impending theft becomes a test case for this conviction. He recognizes exactly what she is doing and yet feels little desire to expose or punish her.

The story's treatment of free will deepens this philosophical framework. The narrator asks, “what warrant, besides, could shame ever have when, as any child could see, nothing—no thought, no action, no desire—is ultimately up to any of us?” This statement is not incidental. It functions as one of the story's governing propositions. The narrator's response to the theft emerges directly from his deterministic worldview. If human actions arise from forces beyond individual control, then condemnation becomes increasingly difficult to justify. The aide's theft is simply another event unfolding within a chain of causation.

Yet the story refuses to portray the narrator as a detached sage who has transcended desire. One of its greatest achievements is its insistence that philosophical conviction does not eliminate erotic impulse. The narrator continues to notice the aide's attractiveness. He continues to think in sexual terms. He even entertains the fantasy of leveraging his knowledge of the theft into a sexual encounter. Significantly, however, the story treats these thoughts neither as intentions nor as moral revelations. They are presented as mental events arising unbidden within consciousness. “Thoughts come unbidden,” the narrator observes, a statement that directly echoes his broader determinism. Desire persists not because he chooses it but because it remains embedded within him.

The relationship between desire and age forms the emotional center of the story. Earlier in life, the narrator apparently wielded considerable charisma. The aide has “no idea how many girls like her you have sucked into a bucking hunger.” The phrasing suggests a man who once possessed significant erotic power and who remains fully aware of that history. Yet the remarkable feature of the story is that this awareness is no longer accompanied by urgency. The old desires survive, but they have become curiously weightless. The narrator can imagine seduction without needing to pursue it. Fantasy remains while appetite's imperative has weakened.

This transformation is embodied most powerfully in the perfume bottle itself. Salome once belonged to the narrator's wife. It represents not only sensuality but marriage, memory, and mortality. The bottle's theft therefore carries emotional significance beyond its monetary value. Yet even here the narrator's response is characterized by relinquishment rather than possession. “What good is the bottle anymore to you?” he asks himself. The question extends beyond the perfume. What good are ownership, status, achievement, conquest, or even memory when life approaches its conclusion?

The exchange involving the rap lyric crystallizes this tension. When the narrator whispers, “I try to tell these young niggas crime don’t pay,” he simultaneously acknowledges the theft and transforms it into a joke. The line functions as a final act of participation in the social world. It is a tiny graffiti tag of consciousness, an assertion that he still sees and understands what is happening. Yet the gesture lacks punitive force. The narrator does not seek justice. He merely wishes to mark his presence.

This concern with presence is visible throughout the story. The narrator compares the lyric to his youthful graffiti: “I was here.” That phrase may ultimately provide the key to the entire narrative. The perfume collection, the books he has written, the memories of his son, the lingering desires, and even the cryptic warning to the aide all represent attempts to leave traces. Yet the story simultaneously recognizes the futility of such traces. Most will disappear. The collection will be sold. The books may be forgotten. Even the warning itself is likely to be dismissed as senile babble.

The story's final question—“But what does it matter?”—therefore arrives not as despair but as philosophical culmination. It does not negate meaning. Rather, it places meaning within a larger horizon where possession, shame, desire, and legacy have all begun to lose their urgency. The narrator remains recognizably himself until the end: observant, lustful, intellectual, mischievous, and self-aware. Yet these traits now exist within a consciousness increasingly detached from the need to act upon them.

“Salome” is ultimately a meditation on the strange coexistence of persistence and release. The self remains. Desire remains. Memory remains. Yet the compulsive force that once animated them has begun to dissolve. What emerges is not wisdom in any conventional sense but a state of radical relinquishment, where even theft, erotic longing, and mortality are absorbed into a broader acceptance of the human condition. The story's achievement lies in its ability to hold these tensions simultaneously, creating a portrait of old age that is neither sentimental nor tragic but profoundly philosophical.

Meta Description

A philosophical story about aging, perfume, memory, determinism, erotic persistence, and the gradual relinquishment of ownership, shame, and desire in the face of mortality.

Keywords

Salome, aging and desire, perfume literature, determinism, free will skepticism, mortality, memory and identity, old age fiction, nursing home narrative, eros and aging, philosophical fiction, inheritance, relinquishment, shame theory, animality, contemporary literary fiction, sensory memory, existential literature, perfume collection, end-of-life consciousness.

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Mr. Haldol (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Mr. Haldol (ROUND 1)

“Mr. Haldol” is a poem about the public performance of stability after private psychic rupture, and the uneasy re-entry of a medically stabilized subject into an institutional role that depends on the appearance of coherence. The poem’s drama is not primarily narrative but social and phenomenological: it examines what it feels like to be known, implicitly or explicitly, as someone who has “come / fresh from the nuthouse,” while nevertheless being required to enact the rituals of professional normalcy.

The opening stanza immediately establishes this doubled condition of presence and performance:

“There you stand one Monday / morning, greeting students / with a banker’s handshake”

The “banker’s handshake” is not merely descriptive but symbolic. It compresses an entire regime of institutional legitimacy into a bodily gesture: firmness, predictability, controlled affect, and social trustworthiness. Yet the phrase is immediately strained by the situation it inhabits. The speaker is not simply a teacher resuming work; he is a subject whose continuity has been interrupted by psychiatric hospitalization. The handshake thus becomes less a natural extension of self than a rehearsed mechanism for re-entering social intelligibility.

The poem complicates this performance further by situating it temporally within a fragile threshold state:

“at the door after weeks of subs—”

The reference to substitutes (“subs”) signals institutional substitution and administrative continuity in the speaker’s absence. While the school functioned without him, his identity as teacher was temporarily delegated. His return is therefore not restoration but reinstatement under conditions of partial dislocation. The phrase also subtly suggests substitution in a psychological sense: the self that returns is not fully continuous with the self that left.

This instability becomes more explicit in the next movement:

“bushy-tailed but, for these / first minutes, reining in / that jazz they loved”

Here, “bushy-tailed” invokes forced brightness, a performative vitality that sits uneasily alongside the speaker’s recent hospitalization. The phrase suggests that liveliness itself is now something regulated rather than spontaneous. More significant is the phrase “reining in / that jazz they loved.” “Jazz” functions as a metaphor for erratic affect, improvisational personality, and uncontrolled expressive excess. It is “loved” by the institutional environment precisely because it is entertaining, recognizable, and socially consumable, yet it must also be contained in order for the speaker to remain legible as authority.

The verb “reining” is especially important. It implies that this containment is not only externally imposed but internally enacted. The speaker is simultaneously subject and agent of his own modulation, both performer and regulator of his performance.

The final stanza removes any ambiguity about the social frame in which this performance occurs:

“the whole / school knows you have come / fresh from the nuthouse.”

The bluntness of “nuthouse” is decisive. It strips away clinical euphemism and replaces it with communal vernacular knowledge. The speaker’s condition is not hidden or delicately coded; it is socially legible and publicly acknowledged. Yet the phrase also registers the violence of that legibility. “Fresh” intensifies the immediacy of exposure, suggesting not merely past hospitalization but a return still marked by its proximity to institutional psychiatric containment.

What the poem stages, therefore, is not simply stigma but the paradox of reintegration. The speaker is simultaneously expected to perform normalcy and already marked as having failed it. The institutional space of the school becomes a site where coherence must be enacted precisely because coherence is known to be fragile.

At a deeper level, the poem also explores the tension between identity as internal continuity and identity as external recognition. The speaker’s sense of self is not presented as stable interior essence but as something continuously negotiated at the interface of social perception. The handshake, the reining in of affect, and the communal awareness of psychiatric history all converge to produce a subject who exists primarily as managed visibility.

In this sense, “Mr. Haldol” is less a poem about illness than about the conditions under which personhood is publicly maintained after its disruption. It asks what remains of authority, professionalism, and selfhood when those categories are shadowed by the knowledge of breakdown, and it locates its answer not in resolution but in ongoing performance under constraint.

Meta Description

A poem exploring institutional reintegration after psychiatric hospitalization, the performance of professional identity, stigma, and the fragile maintenance of social coherence.

Keywords

psychiatric hospitalization, institutional identity, stigma, teacher narrative, mental health poetry, performance of normalcy, social recognition, subjectivity, workplace reintegration, affect regulation, contemporary poetry analysis, psychiatric recovery, institutional authority, identity and rupture, phenomenological poetics

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Crank Shaft (ROUND 2)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Crank Shaft (ROUND 2)

“Crank Shaft” is a story about collision—not merely the collision between a child and a car, but the collision between desire and catastrophe, narcissism and grief, private fantasy and public reality. Its central achievement lies in its refusal to arrange these forces into a morally reassuring hierarchy. The narrator witnesses the death of a young boy while masturbating to the boy’s mother, and the story's power emerges from its insistence that the resulting psychic landscape is not one of simple guilt, remorse, or redemption. Instead, the narrator enters a state of profound ontological suspension in which ordinary motivations, judgments, and desires lose their coherence.

The title is crucial. “Crank Shaft” immediately invokes multiple registers at once. It suggests masturbation ("cranking"), machinery, rotational force, and the transmission of energy. A crankshaft converts linear motion into rotational motion and vice versa. The story is similarly concerned with the conversion of one kind of psychic energy into another. Sexual desire becomes guilt. Guilt becomes paralysis. Paralysis becomes something approaching mystical stillness. Throughout the narrative, forces continue moving through the narrator long after the event itself has concluded.

The opening establishes this state of suspension:

I have not gotten up from the curb.

The sentence is deceptively simple. The narrator's refusal—or inability—to move becomes the story's governing image. Everything afterward unfolds from this fixed point. The body remains stationary while consciousness drifts through memory, fantasy, self-interrogation, and increasingly strange forms of perception.

The story's treatment of time is especially important. Chronological time continues. The sun remains high. The day advances. Yet subjective time has broken apart.

Much more day remains. Yet the stillness is of twilight, an alien twilight.

The phrase "alien twilight" captures the story's central atmosphere. Twilight normally signifies transition. Here, however, it appears in the middle of the day. The world has become temporally dislocated. Categories no longer align with experience.

This dislocation spreads outward into the environment itself. The neighborhood becomes unnaturally quiet. Dogs stop barking. Squirrels stop moving. Even a feral cat behaves differently. The story does not ask the reader to believe that nature has literally responded to the boy's death. Rather, it depicts a consciousness projecting its own rupture onto the surrounding world.

The result resembles what phenomenologists describe as a transformation in the structure of lived experience. The narrator is not simply observing a quieter neighborhood. He inhabits a reality whose very texture has changed.

The feral cat sequence deepens this theme.

Ordinarily the cat comes running.

Ordinarily the cat seeks affection.

Ordinarily familiar routines persist.

Instead:

he slinks back into coverage.

The cat becomes an image of instinctive withdrawal. Unlike the narrator, who remains trapped at the scene, the animal responds appropriately to danger. The narrator repeatedly attributes forms of wisdom to nonhuman creatures throughout the story. Animals seem attuned to realities humans miss or ignore.

This concern culminates in one of the story's most revealing observations:

all of us fight to ignore—if only for what it says about us, not just as stewards of nature but as members no less embedded than any other.

The line gestures toward a worldview in which human beings are not separate from nature but participants within it. The narrator's catastrophe strips away ordinary illusions of separateness. Human beings become animals among animals.

Yet the story's most daring move lies elsewhere.

The narrator's sexual desire does not disappear after the boy's death.

Indeed, it persists.

The lengthy recollections of the mother's body, the flirtatious dynamic across the street, and the narrator's masturbatory fixation are not narrative distractions. They are the story's central psychological challenge.

Most fiction would force a moral conversion here. The death of the child would instantly extinguish desire. The narrator would become purified through tragedy.

Instead, desire survives.

Even after witnessing the accident, the narrator imagines comforting the mother sexually:

I pictured myself slurping the mom

I pictured whispering "I'm gonna give you another baby"

These fantasies are shocking not because they reveal monstrousness but because they reveal continuity. Human consciousness does not conveniently reorganize itself around moral expectations. Sexual desire, grief, self-interest, pity, shame, and fantasy coexist.

The story repeatedly refuses to sort them into separate compartments.

This refusal gives the narrative its psychoanalytic depth.

Freud frequently emphasized that traumatic events do not necessarily eliminate desire. More often, trauma creates bizarre juxtapositions in which incompatible impulses occupy the same psychic space. The narrator's erotic fantasies become unbearable precisely because they persist alongside genuine horror.

The resulting shame becomes one thread among many rather than the story's defining center.

In fact, one of the most remarkable features of the narrative is how shame gradually loses its force.

Thought after thought arises:

sympathy for me

neighbors perhaps looking out their blinds

an offering of sorts

The narrator continually generates explanations for why he remains on the curb. Yet each explanation dissolves.

The story systematically dismantles psychological interpretation.

Every motive appears plausible.

Every motive appears insufficient.

The narrator eventually arrives at a state beyond motive altogether.

This movement forms the story's philosophical core.

What begins as guilt gradually transforms into something closer to ego dissolution.

The final pages depict a consciousness being emptied out:

Now I am mostly empty.

The sentence marks a profound shift. Earlier sections overflow with fantasy, memory, rationalization, and self-consciousness. By the end, the internal machinery has begun shutting down.

The image of gears is significant:

The deep gears I have always known to spin have stopped.

This may be the story's most important line.

The narrator has spent the entire narrative trapped inside mechanisms of desire, fantasy, interpretation, and self-concern. Those mechanisms finally cease operating.

The title returns here with transformed meaning.

The crankshaft no longer turns.

The engine has stalled.

Yet what replaces it is not despair.

Instead, the story enters a state approaching mystical absorption:

I can feel the planet's core latched to my bones

I feel one with the tree, one with the buzzing wire.

This language evokes traditions ranging from mystical quietism to certain forms of ecological consciousness. The narrator experiences himself not as an isolated individual but as part of a larger field of being.

Importantly, this state does not arrive through enlightenment.

It arrives through catastrophe.

The death of the child functions as an involuntary spiritual event. It strips away ordinary psychic activity, leaving behind a bare encounter with existence itself.

The story's final insight is therefore neither moral nor theological.

The narrator never discovers a lesson.

He never redeems himself.

He never achieves forgiveness.

Instead, he encounters a temporary condition in which desire, shame, fantasy, ambition, and self-justification are swallowed by a deeper stillness.

The tragedy does not make him better.

It makes him smaller.

And within that reduction, he experiences something he has perhaps never known before: a world no longer organized around himself.

“Crank Shaft” is ultimately a story about the collapse of psychic machinery. It begins with a man absorbed in private appetite and ends with a consciousness suspended between grief, exhaustion, and transcendence. Its subject is not guilt but interruption—the sudden stopping of the mechanisms through which a self ordinarily sustains its place in the world. What remains after that stoppage is terrifying, humbling, and strangely beautiful.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic story about a child's accidental death, the persistence of desire amid catastrophe, ego dissolution, traumatic stillness, and the collapse of the psychic machinery that organizes ordinary consciousness.

Keywords

trauma fiction, psychoanalytic literature, ego dissolution, catastrophic witness, guilt and desire, traumatic stillness, phenomenology of grief, erotic fixation, death and consciousness, existential fiction, moral ambiguity, psychic paralysis, ecological consciousness, shame and fantasy, traumatic interruption, literary realism, ontological crisis, contemporary literary fiction, desire after tragedy, philosophical fiction

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A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes (ROUND 9)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes (ROUND 9)

“A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” is a poem about inheritance: not genetic inheritance, nor merely familial inheritance, but the inheritance of imaginative habits, comic sensibilities, and ways of seeing the world. On its surface, the poem appears to concern Becky, an exhibitionistic woman whose obsessive use of the Gut Puncher™ has transformed her anatomy into an object of public fascination and private myth. Yet the poem's deeper subject is the conversion of vernacular obscenity into literature. It explores what happens when a tradition of bawdy folk humor is subjected to extraordinary imaginative pressure and elevated into a dense, allusive poetic form without sacrificing its vulgar roots.

The dedication to the speaker's grandmother is essential to understanding the poem's ambitions. Unlike elegies that memorialize the dead through reverence or solemnity, this poem honors its dedicatee through continuity of sensibility. The grandmother functions less as an individual character than as a representative of a familial comic tradition. The poem's obscenity is therefore not merely transgressive. It is affectionate. Its vulgarity operates as an inherited language of intimacy, remembrance, and belonging.

This dynamic helps explain one of the poem's most distinctive features: its refusal to recognize stable boundaries between high and low culture. Disney, cryptozoology, Hitchcock, Georgia O'Keeffe, marine ecology, carnival grotesquerie, and sexual slang coexist within the same imaginative field. The poem continually juxtaposes cultural registers that many readers would regard as incompatible. Yet the result is not randomness. Rather, the poem argues—through its very structure—that the distinction between refined and vulgar modes of imagination is far less substantial than cultural gatekeepers often suppose.

The title introduces this project immediately. “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” borrowed from Cinderella, evokes innocence, fantasy, and sentimental aspiration. Yet the poem's central spectacle could hardly appear further removed from Disney's moral universe. This contrast is not simply ironic. Instead, it establishes a collision between two competing traditions of storytelling: one sanitized, commercialized, and respectable; the other earthy, bodily, excessive, and comic. Throughout the poem, the latter repeatedly overwhelms the former.

The opening movement introduces Becky through the perspective of spectators:

Any thumb-twiddler humming (“Mm hm-mm”) beneath Becky
on a mall escalator, let alone any hunter of Jones Beach Bigfoot

The Bigfoot comparison is revealing. Becky is not framed as merely erotic. She is framed as anomalous. Her anatomy has become so transformed by her devotion to the Gut Puncher™ that ordinary categories seem inadequate. The poem's imagination responds accordingly, recruiting increasingly elaborate analogies in an effort to account for what it encounters.

This process drives the poem's remarkable metaphorical proliferation. Anatomy becomes extraterrestrial:

alien slugs, ET undulants

It becomes botanical:

like a postdoc botanist before an uncatalogued jungle flower

It becomes artistic:

Georgia O'Queef herself

It becomes zoological, geological, and eventually ecological.

These comparisons are not attempts to obscure what is being described. On the contrary, the poem continually reminds the reader of the physical reality underlying the imagery. Becky is obsessively using an enormous dildo. Her body has been altered by that practice. The imagination does not flee from these facts. It circles them repeatedly, generating metaphor after metaphor in an effort to absorb their implications.

The result is a form of grotesque realism that recalls the tradition associated with figures such as Rabelais and Chaucer. Like those writers, the poem treats the body not as something shameful but as a site of comic revelation. Bodily excess becomes a source of knowledge. The grotesque becomes a means of enlarging rather than diminishing human experience.

The introduction of the Gut Puncher™ marks a crucial shift:

that suction-bottomed black Popeye fist

The object is simultaneously ridiculous and monumental. It functions as a comic artifact while also assuming mythological significance. Its exaggerated scale allows the poem to explore the relationship between desire and transformation. Becky is not simply using the toy. She is reorganizing herself around it.

This concern becomes especially visible in the description of the anus as:

that one surviving gullet

The phrase captures the poem's peculiar blend of humor and seriousness. It exaggerates anatomy into architecture, suggesting a body reshaped by repetition and obsession. What might have remained a crude joke becomes a meditation on how desire leaves material traces upon the self.

The poem repeatedly returns to this idea. Becky's fixation is not presented as a passing appetite but as a way of life. Her body has become an archive of her habits. Her anatomy records her history.

The exhibitionist dimension of the poem deepens this theme:

the crow's crazed cawing, its Hitchcockian head smashes
at the uncurtained window pane of her exhibitionist kink

Here the body becomes spectacle. Yet the spectacle is not passive. Becky appears almost to collaborate in her own mythologization. The exhibitionist impulse transforms private practice into public theater.

This theatricality helps explain the poem's recurring fascination with audiences. Again and again, the speaker imagines observers: escalator riders, cryptid hunters, crows, botanists, scavenging birds. The body becomes a stage upon which competing modes of interpretation play out.

The final image provides the poem's most expansive metaphor:

like a child gathering flopping fish ...
in the majestic drawback of a tsunami sea

The tsunami comparison transforms anatomy into landscape. What had begun as bodily comedy becomes a scene of revelation. The withdrawing sea exposes hidden terrain, making visible what is ordinarily concealed.

This image encapsulates the poem's central method. It continually uncovers hidden continuities between domains that culture tends to separate: obscenity and wonder, comedy and reverence, folk humor and literary art.

The author's note reinforces this interpretation. The speaker explicitly situates himself within a family tradition of bawdy storytelling while simultaneously acknowledging his distance from that tradition. He has carried its sensibility into literary territory his relatives themselves would never occupy. This tension between continuity and estrangement haunts the poem. It is an act of homage that also bears witness to social mobility, educational alienation, and cultural translation.

The references to Chaucer are especially revealing. The speaker recognizes in canonical literature the same impulses that animated the jokes of his family. The poem therefore rejects the assumption that sophisticated art and vulgar humor belong to separate worlds. Instead, it suggests that they are manifestations of the same imaginative energy.

What ultimately distinguishes “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” is its refusal to abandon either side of this inheritance. The poem is simultaneously learned and crude, literary and oral, affectionate and grotesque. Its achievement lies in showing that these apparent opposites need not be reconciled because they were never truly separate to begin with.

At its deepest level, the poem is a tribute to a familial worldview in which laughter survives embarrassment, where bodily absurdity becomes a source of connection, and where imagination refuses to recognize the boundaries that polite culture imposes upon it. Becky may occupy the center of the spectacle, but the poem's enduring subject is the transformation of inherited vernacular humor into a literary art capable of carrying memory, affection, and identity across generations.

Meta Description

A grotesque-comic poem that transforms familial bawdy humor into literary art, exploring inheritance, obsession, bodily transformation, class memory, and the porous boundary between folk obscenity and high culture.

Keywords

grotesque realism, familial inheritance, bawdy humor, literary vulgarity, class memory, Chaucerian comedy, Rabelaisian tradition, body and identity, obsession, bodily transformation, exhibitionism, vernacular culture, folk humor, high and low culture, literary maximalism, contemporary poetry analysis, comic excess, cultural translation, family memory, grotesque poetics

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The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 5)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 5)

“The Art of Subtraction” is a poem about ego erosion under the pressure of paternity, memory, and inherited masculine failure. At its surface it reads as a meditation on parenting and generational continuity, but at a deeper psychoanalytic level it stages a confrontation between the narcissistic structure of the self and the destabilizing presence of the child as both mirror and future. The poem is not simply about a father observing his son; it is about a father discovering that the act of observation itself is a form of disintegration. To look at the child is to encounter both one’s origin and one’s obsolescence at once.

The title, “The Art of Subtraction,” frames this process in explicitly aesthetic and ethical terms. Subtraction is not loss but discipline: a cultivated reduction of self-importance, a trained withdrawal from centrality. Yet the poem immediately destabilizes the idea that this subtraction is voluntary or serene. Instead, it emerges as something closer to psychic attrition. The speaker does not gracefully renounce the self; he is worn down by the unbearable visibility of his son.

The opening declaration is crucial:

I isolate. Like my own father before me, it takes
everything inside me—no longer promising—
to look straight at my son.

The syntax already enacts strain. The phrase “I isolate” is blunt, almost clinical, but it is immediately followed by genealogical recursion: “Like my own father before me.” Isolation is not merely a personal disposition but an inherited pattern. This inheritance is not neutral; it is transmitted as affective damage. The father cannot simply see his son; he must overcome an internalized aversion to direct relational presence.

The phrase “no longer promising” is especially significant. It suggests the collapse of an earlier self-image in which paternal relation may have been imagined as generative, hopeful, or affirming. That promise has been withdrawn. What remains is effort without reward, attention without consolation.

From the beginning, then, the poem frames fatherhood as an encounter with difficulty in perception itself. The son is not only seen; he is almost too much to be seen.

The next movement introduces a key psychoanalytic motif: avoidance as inherited gesture.

I have inherited the need to twist talk away
from dreams, the shifty eyes that would bug me
enough to keep leaping into their line.

Here, avoidance is not simply behavioral but somatic: “shifty eyes,” bodily evasions, micro-gestures of disconnection. The father recognizes in himself the repetition of his own father’s evasiveness. What is inherited is not authority but incapacity for directness.

This produces a paradoxical structure: the speaker is hyper-aware of relational failure precisely at the moment he attempts relational presence. The more he tries to “look straight,” the more he experiences inherited distortion.

The child, meanwhile, appears as both vivid presence and destabilizing force:

From within
I see—in belated empathy for the dead—how
hard it is to face the gaze: energized, hopeful.

The gaze of the child is not neutral. It is “energized, hopeful”—qualities that are not merely emotional but existentially accusatory. The child’s vitality becomes a mirror that exposes the father’s depletion. This is where the poem begins to articulate its central psychic tension: the child is both object of love and agent of destabilization.

Memory intrudes in fragmented, sensory form:

How strange what persists in memory: my boy,
his little nose (“Bip it. Bop it.”) in the bathroom
mirror…

The detail is disarmingly domestic, almost comic in its specificity. Yet its affective function is complex. The child’s speech is not fully linguistic; it is playful distortion, pre-symbolic sound. The mirror introduces doubling, self-recognition, and developmental threshold. The bathroom—site of bodily maintenance—becomes the space where identity formation is observed in miniature.

The poem repeatedly insists that memory does not organize itself according to significance. Instead, it preserves arbitrary intensity. The father cannot control what remains vivid; the child’s presence persists as involuntary imprint.

This leads to one of the poem’s most important philosophical gestures:

To call that the full story—
that, if I am honest, would be more vain evasion.

Here, narrative itself is treated as a form of defense. To construct coherence would be to evade the truth of psychic fragmentation. The poem resists totalizing interpretation because totalization would falsify experience.

The second movement deepens the psychological entanglement by collapsing developmental time:

His claustrophobic gab of vigor, a wormhole back
to myself young…

The child is not only son but temporal conduit. The speaker experiences regression through observation. Fatherhood becomes a structure of recursive self-recovery: the child reactivates the father’s own childhood while simultaneously marking its irreversibility.

The phrase “wormhole” is particularly revealing. It suggests non-linear time, collapse of spatial-temporal separation, and involuntary transit between selves. Yet the movement is not liberating. It is claustrophobic. The past does not open; it closes in.

This culminates in the bathroom mirror scene, where the self becomes juridical object:

I look down, look at me,
like an ankle-cuffed criminal ushered into court
for his disgrace.

The mirror no longer reflects identity but judgment. The father becomes both defendant and witness. The body is no longer neutral; it is evidence.

The introduction of Apollo is the poem’s metaphysical pivot:

carved
there… is Apollo’s torso, marble and mirror,
hurling even more dazzle: “You must change your life”

The invocation of Rilke’s famous injunction transforms the bathroom into an aesthetic-theological space. Apollo represents idealized form, beauty, transcendence, and the demand for transformation. Yet the poem immediately fractures this authority:

“Face it. Your time is over.”

The Apollo image thus becomes double-edged: simultaneously exhortation and annihilation. Beauty demands transformation, but also declares obsolescence. The self is summoned toward improvement while being dismissed as structurally finished.

The poem’s central philosophical tension emerges here: is self-overcoming a form of liberation or a recognition of terminal decline?

The final movement resolves this tension not through synthesis but through ethical resignation:

“Become he who can bear not being
the center…”

This is the explicit formulation of subtraction. Ego is not abolished but decentered. The self is re-educated into marginality. Importantly, this is not presented as punishment but as apprenticeship: “train the spirit,” “apprentice oneself.”

The influence of Rilke is explicit, but the poem’s tone is more psychologically ambivalent than mystical. Subtraction is not transcendence; it is adaptation to diminished centrality.

The father’s own father returns as final haunting figure:

his head bowed
over beer cans stacked high…

Here inheritance becomes visual and affective rather than conceptual. Masculine failure is embodied in posture, accumulation, and exhaustion. The speaker recognizes continuity not only of behavior but of limitation.

The poem ends in a paradox:

if I fail, at least I walk beside him.

This final line refuses resolution between anxiety and consolation. Failure is not overcome. Instead, it is transformed into relational proximity. The father-child bond persists not through success but through shared vulnerability.

The deepest psychoanalytic insight of the poem is therefore this: subtraction of ego does not eliminate suffering, but it may redistribute it away from isolation. The self does not become smaller in a purely liberating sense; it becomes less defended. And in that reduction of defense, relational presence—however fragile—becomes possible.

“The Art of Subtraction” thus stages a transformation of subjectivity from centered authority to decentered accompaniment. It is not a poem about becoming less, but about becoming less alone in the experience of not being central.

Meta Description

A psychoanalytic and philosophical reading of paternal ego dissolution, generational inheritance, narcissistic decentering, and the tension between self-erasure and relational presence in father–son consciousness.

Keywords

paternal psychology, ego subtraction, Rilke influence, psychoanalytic poetry, generational inheritance, narcissism and decentering, father-son relationship, mirror stage, memory fragmentation, existential decline, subjectivity and authority, relational ontology, trauma and masculinity, contemporary lyric analysis, philosophical poetry criticism, identity dissolution, developmental temporality

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Sleep Fissures (ROUND 10)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Sleep Fissures (ROUND 10)

“Sleep Fissures” is a poem about temporal collapse under the pressure of sexual trauma. More specifically, it concerns the destruction of developmental boundaries: the inability to maintain distinctions between child and adult, victim and perpetrator, past and present, care and violation. The poem unfolds as a triptych, but the sections do not represent discrete moments in a linear narrative. Rather, they function as fissures through which different psychic strata become visible simultaneously. The result is a profoundly disturbing exploration of how abuse fractures chronology itself, producing a consciousness in which infancy, childhood violation, adult sexuality, and fantasies of domination coexist within the same psychic space.

The title is therefore extraordinarily precise. “Sleep” invokes both childhood vulnerability and dream logic. “Fissures” suggests cracks, ruptures, fault lines. Together, the phrase implies not restful unconsciousness but a fractured psychic terrain in which buried material erupts unpredictably into the present. The poem proceeds according to precisely such a logic. Memories, fantasies, bodily sensations, and roles leak into one another across damaged boundaries. Sleep is not refuge but permeability.

The first section appears, at first glance, almost mundane:

The mom—amoxicillin bottle
four, baffled by what could keep
doubling a toddler over

The image evokes a familiar scene of parental concern. A mother attempts to diagnose an illness in her child. The specificity of “amoxicillin bottle four” immediately establishes a history of failed interventions. The problem persists despite treatment. The mother's bafflement is genuine. She searches for causes, remedies, explanations.

Yet the section's emotional power derives from dramatic irony. The mother searches everywhere except where the poem directs the reader to look.

The symptomology becomes increasingly vivid:

foul olive discharge, frothy
and fevered as her puke

The bodily details are grotesque, even medical. Yet they also establish a crucial pattern. Throughout the poem, the body speaks before consciousness does. Symptoms appear before explanation. The child cannot articulate what is happening, and the adults cannot recognize it. The body therefore becomes the site where truth manifests without becoming legible.

This culminates in the devastating ending:

guts the home of all culprits:

scented soap, dryer sheets;
junk food, synthetic panties
too tight—all, save Mr. Malik.

The mother's investigation is exhaustive but misdirected. She suspects chemicals, fabrics, hygiene products, food. Everything is scrutinized except the actual source of harm. The final phrase functions as an indictment of interpretive failure itself. The poem is not interested in portraying the mother as malicious. Her error emerges from the ordinary assumptions that structure domestic life. Danger is imagined as environmental rather than intimate. The trusted adult remains beyond suspicion.

The section therefore dramatizes one of the most tragic features of childhood abuse: its ability to hide inside structures designed to protect. The mother is attentive, concerned, proactive, and still catastrophically wrong.

The second section introduces a radical temporal shift:

Porn-pretzeled preschool self
tatted below her tits

The phrase “porn-pretzeled” is especially striking. A pretzel is twisted into unnatural shapes. The adjective therefore transforms sexualization into deformation. Childhood has not merely been exposed to sexuality; it has been physically and psychically contorted by it.

What follows is among the poem's most unsettling insights. The adult body becomes a site where the abused child remains preserved:

now the real “Big Girl”

can feel—cervix pigging out
on every avatar's whimpering
load—the child in the perp.

The phrase “the child in the perp” is the section's conceptual center.

Many trauma narratives focus on the child within the victim—the wounded developmental self that survives into adulthood. This poem does something more disturbing. It directs attention toward the child within the perpetrator.

The move radically complicates the poem's moral and psychological landscape. It does not excuse abuse. Rather, it confronts an uncomfortable possibility: perpetrators themselves emerge from developmental histories. The adult offender contains prior versions of himself. The abused child, now grown, experiences not merely rage or fear but an uncanny recognition of psychic continuity across generations of injury.

This recognition is deeply psychoanalytic. Trauma is shown not as an isolated event but as a structure capable of reproducing itself across developmental time. The victim's adult sexuality becomes haunted not only by memories of victimhood but by awareness of the damaged child potentially embedded within the figure who harmed her.

The poem refuses the comfort of pure separation. It insists that monstrosity may possess a history.

Yet this recognition remains profoundly unstable. The surrounding imagery is aggressively pornographic, exaggerated, and grotesque. “Avatar's whimpering load” transforms sexuality into an almost digital economy of interchangeable bodies. The language suggests dissociation, repetition, compulsive reenactment. The insight into “the child in the perp” emerges not from serenity but from psychic overload.

The third section completes the poem's exploration of identification and repetition.

The opening lines establish a scene of domination:

Inked cheeks in her care, claws
too deep to slip

The phrase “in her care” is especially important because it invokes the language of guardianship and protection. Yet what follows immediately perverts that language. Care becomes custody. Nurture becomes control.

The butterfly image deepens this inversion:

she loves
to spatchcock the butterfly

Butterflies conventionally symbolize transformation, fragility, beauty, and emergence. “Spatchcock” refers to splitting and flattening an animal for cooking. The collision is horrifying. A symbol of metamorphosis becomes an object of preparation and consumption.

The image therefore encapsulates the poem's central concern: developmental possibility subjected to violence.

The subsequent cruelty intensifies this theme:

purpling that spot where splay
mattered most

The line fuses sexuality, injury, and memory into a single gesture. “Splay” invokes forced openness, exposure, vulnerability. The bruising of the site where openness mattered most suggests an assault upon developmental becoming itself.

The quoted commands that follow—

“Spit on her cunt!”

“Lil slut
ain't never havin no baby!”

—represent the culmination of the poem's logic of repetition.

These are not merely insults. They function as scripts. The speaker appears to reenact forms of humiliation once imposed upon her. Trauma returns not only as memory but as performance.

The final declaration is particularly revealing. “Lil slut ain't never havin no baby!” is not simply degradation. It targets futurity. Pregnancy, reproduction, motherhood, continuity—all become objects of attack. The violence is directed toward the possibility of developmental progression itself.

This concern with arrested development links the poem's three sections together. In the first, a child suffers while adults fail to understand. In the second, the child survives into adulthood but carries contamination forward. In the third, trauma threatens to reproduce itself through identification with the aggressor.

The poem's structure thus traces not a narrative but a psychic cycle.

Formally, “Sleep Fissures” achieves its power through radical compression. Each section feels simultaneously overdetermined and fragmentary. Exposition is absent. The reader receives flashes rather than explanations. This produces an effect analogous to traumatic memory itself: isolated images bearing far more emotional weight than their brevity would ordinarily permit.

The diction contributes significantly to this effect. Clinical language, pornographic language, domestic language, and surreal metaphor collide without warning. “Amoxicillin,” “dryer sheets,” “cervix,” “avatar,” “spatchcock,” and “butterfly” occupy the same textual universe. The resulting disorientation is not ornamental. It mirrors the poem's deeper concern with boundary collapse.

The poem's most distinctive achievement lies in its treatment of developmental time. Childhood is not presented as a completed stage left behind by adulthood. Nor is adulthood portrayed as a stable endpoint. Instead, every age remains active within every other age. The toddler, the preschooler, the adult sexual subject, and the perpetrator's own childhood coexist within the same psychic ecology.

“Sleep Fissures” ultimately portrays trauma as a force that destroys chronological containment. The past survives not as memory but as structure. Care becomes difficult to distinguish from domination, desire from reenactment, adulthood from childhood, victim from aggressor. The poem inhabits these collapses without resolving them. Its power derives from forcing the reader to confront a psyche in which developmental boundaries have cracked and where everything once buried continues to move beneath the surface.

Meta Description

A triptych exploring childhood sexual abuse, developmental rupture, traumatic repetition, temporal collapse, and the unstable boundaries between victimhood, perpetration, care, and desire.

Keywords

Sleep Fissures, trauma poetics, childhood sexual abuse, developmental trauma, psychoanalytic criticism, repetition compulsion, identification with the aggressor, temporal collapse, dissociation, traumatic memory, erotic reenactment, family trauma, victim-perpetrator dynamics, body memory, psychic fragmentation, abuse and development, contemporary poetry analysis, sexual violence, intergenerational trauma, trauma and temporality

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Sucia (ROUND 2)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Sucia (ROUND 2)

“Sucia” is a poem about the psychic redistribution of contamination. While its immediate subject is incestuous abuse, the poem's deeper concern is the interpretive crisis that follows revelation: how a family system metabolizes an atrocity that threatens to destroy its organizing fictions. The poem is not interested in the perpetrator's psychology except insofar as it succeeds. Its focus falls instead upon a mother confronted with evidence so devastating that ordinary moral perception begins to buckle under the pressure. The result is a lyric of projection, displacement, and contaminated judgment in which the victim becomes burdened with the very stain that should belong to the abuser.

The title announces this concern before the poem even begins. “Sucia”—dirty, filthy, unclean—functions as both accusation and diagnosis. Yet the poem never specifies who is sucia. The daughter? The mother? The man? The household itself? This ambiguity is essential. Incest collapses ordinary boundaries of contamination. Dirt ceases to be a property of a single individual and instead becomes a psychic substance circulating through the family system. The title therefore hovers over the poem like a curse whose target remains unstable.

The opening lines establish this instability immediately:

After learning that your hombre
has reamed every socket
of your preteen into an agent

The phrase “into an agent” is the poem's conceptual center. The daughter is not merely abused; she is transformed within the mother's imagination. “Agent” is a term saturated with implications of intentionality, desire, and responsibility. Yet the word appears alongside “preteen,” producing a collision the poem refuses to resolve. The tension is immediate and unbearable. A preteen cannot meaningfully occupy the role implied by “agent” within the sexual economy being described. The very absurdity of the attribution exposes the defensive mechanism generating it.

Importantly, the daughter has not become an agent. She has been made into one. The grammar matters. The mother's perception has undergone a mutation. Faced with an intolerable reality, she unconsciously reconstructs the victim as participant. The poem thus dramatizes one of trauma's most devastating secondary injuries: not merely violation, but reinterpretation.

The phrase “reamed every socket” contributes to this process of symbolic deformation. “Socket” is a deliberately mechanical word. It reduces the body to openings and functions, stripping away individuality. The daughter's subjectivity disappears beneath the language used to describe what has happened to her. Yet the reduction is not merely descriptive. It reflects the logic of abuse itself. The body becomes fragmented into sites of use. The daughter's humanity is attacked first through violation and then through the explanatory framework imposed afterward.

The next lines complete the transformation:

ravenous and scheming

The choice of adjectives is remarkable. Both imply appetite and strategy. Both belong to the vocabulary of seduction rather than victimization. Applied to a preteen, they become grotesque. The poem's achievement lies in forcing the reader to inhabit this grotesquerie without endorsing it. The daughter is being imagined through categories fundamentally incapable of describing her situation. The resulting distortion reveals more about the psychological needs of the adults than about the child herself.

Psychoanalytically, the mechanism is recognizable. The mother's discovery confronts her with multiple unbearable truths simultaneously. The man she trusted has committed a monstrous act. Her daughter has suffered under her protection. Her judgment has failed. Her domestic reality has proven false. Such realizations threaten not merely emotional equilibrium but identity itself. Under such conditions, projection becomes attractive because it redistributes intolerable guilt. If the child can be imagined as possessing agency, then responsibility can be diluted. The asymmetry between predator and victim becomes less absolute.

The poem's central question emerges from this defensive landscape:

what
was worse: you beating her
(“¡Puta!”) or letting him, cock

The brilliance of this formulation lies in its refusal of simple moral sequencing. One form of violence is physical and immediate. The other is interpretive and enduring. The poem asks whether the slap or the story constitutes the deeper injury.

“¡Puta!” is particularly devastating because it represents the endpoint of the daughter's symbolic transformation. She is no longer perceived as a child. She has been relocated into an adult sexual category. The slur accomplishes in a single word what the preceding lines anatomize more gradually. It imposes sexual culpability upon someone who cannot meaningfully bear it.

Yet the poem does not stop there. The alternative possibility—“or letting him”—shifts attention away from overt violence and toward complicity. The mother may strike her daughter in a moment of rage, but what happens when she adopts his interpretation of events? What happens when she permits his narrative to reorganize reality itself?

The image that follows is among the poem's most horrifying:

cock
still tasting of her

The line eliminates all distance between act and aftermath. The abuse is not a distant memory. It remains materially present. The man appears carrying evidence of what has occurred upon his own body. The grotesque intimacy of the image performs an important function. It prevents abstraction. The mother's acceptance of his story cannot be attributed to ignorance. The poem insists upon proximity. She chooses belief in the immediate shadow of undeniable violation.

This proximity intensifies the poem's psychological inquiry. The question becomes not whether evidence is available but whether evidence is sufficient. The poem suggests that under conditions of extreme psychic threat, interpretation follows emotional necessity rather than empirical fact. Belief becomes a survival mechanism.

The phrase “swallowing it all” deepens this insight. On the most obvious level, it refers to accepting his explanation. Yet the line's placement after the image of his body generates additional meanings. The mother does not simply swallow a story. She swallows an entire framework of understanding. She internalizes the logic required to preserve a world that would otherwise collapse.

The final lines reveal the consequence:

that it would be
cruel to kick her out?

This may be the poem's most disturbing inversion. “Cruel” is ordinarily reserved for acts committed against the vulnerable. Here, however, cruelty has been redefined. The daughter has become the apparent source of disruption. The victim has become the problem requiring management.

The line exposes how thoroughly moral language can be commandeered by psychic defense. The vocabulary of care becomes indistinguishable from the vocabulary of abandonment. Expulsion can now masquerade as compassion. The daughter's removal appears not as punishment but as a regrettable necessity.

The poem's final question mark is crucial. It prevents closure. The speaker does not adjudicate between the mother's violence and her complicity. Instead, the reader is left confronting a system in which both emerge from the same poisoned source. The beating and the believing are not separate phenomena. They are different expressions of a single interpretive catastrophe.

Formally, “Sucia” derives much of its force from compression. The poem contains no exposition, no backstory, and no psychological explanation. It proceeds through concentrated fragments that require the reader to reconstruct an entire familial drama from a handful of details. This compression mirrors the structure of traumatic knowledge itself. Vast realities become condensed into a few unforgettable images.

The diction contributes significantly to this effect. The coexistence of English and Spanish creates a domestic intimacy resistant to sociological distance. “Hombre” and “¡Puta!” do not function as decorative markers of ethnicity. They feel spoken, inherited, lived. They belong to the emotional architecture of the scene itself.

What ultimately makes “Sucia” so disturbing is its refusal to locate incest solely within the act of abuse. The poem suggests that violation continues through interpretation. The predator's most enduring victory lies not merely in harming the child but in successfully relocating shame onto her. The abuse becomes a mechanism for rewriting perception itself. The daughter suffers not only because she was violated but because she is made to occupy the symbolic position of violator.

The poem therefore concerns a form of violence that is simultaneously sexual, familial, and hermeneutic. It is about what happens when a child's innocence becomes incompatible with the psychic survival of the adults around her. Faced with that incompatibility, the family does not merely fail to recognize the truth. It manufactures a substitute truth capable of preserving itself. “Sucia” inhabits the moment of that manufacture with extraordinary economy and ferocity.

Meta Description

A lyric examining incest, maternal complicity, projected guilt, victim-blaming, and the psychic redistribution of shame through which an abused child becomes recast as sexually culpable within a damaged family system.

Keywords

Sucia, incest trauma, victim-blaming, psychoanalytic criticism, projective identification, family systems, maternal complicity, contamination, shame displacement, traumatic interpretation, incest literature, hermeneutic violence, sexual abuse, moral inversion, family pathology, symbolic guilt, trauma poetics, contemporary poetry, psychic defense mechanisms, violence and meaning

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 85)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 85)

A mosaic poem of this scope and ambition makes a claim that is formal before it is thematic: that the appropriate unit for apprehending contemporary American experience is not the argument, the narrative, or even the lyric, but the fragment — the aphoristic jolt, the incomplete observation, the scene left at its own irreducible intensity and placed without explanatory bridge beside what precedes or follows it. "Made for You and Me" — whose title lifts Woody Guthrie's democratic populist claim on the national landscape — proposes that American life in 2017 is best witnessed not from a synthesizing distance but from inside the hive of its unresolved contradictions. The subtitle "hive Being" implies both the collective organism (the hive mind, the national body) and a Heideggerian register, as though the poem is always implicitly asking not "what is America like?" but "what is it to be in America, now, during this?" The "stanzas" designation is itself a formal argument: these fragments claim the status of unified verse-units even as they refuse narrative or argumentative continuity.

The mosaic form has a long pedigree — Marcus Aurelius's Meditations, Pessoa's The Book of Disquiet, various miscellany traditions — but this poem makes the form structurally argumentative in a specific way. Each stanza's proximity to its neighbors is a claim, even when no logical connection is asserted. The poem trusts that two adjacent observations will generate meaning between them that neither could produce alone. This is a politics of arrangement: what does it mean that the cremation urn stanza follows the "topless maid" entry? That the yin-yang political stanza precedes the meditation on falling in love with someone lost from youth? The poem refuses to answer these questions. That refusal is its method.

The "topless maid" sequence is the poem's clearest formal demonstration of how the mosaic proceeds. The image appears three times: first as bare observation ("a topless maid"), then with elaboration ("a topless maid still making milk"), then as interrogation ("are topless maids sex workers?"). This is a meditation in installments. The first appearance is pure spectacle — it triggers whatever the reader brings to the image without anchoring it. The second adds lactation, which collapses the erotic and the maternal into a single body. The image cannot be resolved into either register without losing the other; it demands that both be held simultaneously, in discomfort. The third converts the image into a legal and ethical category question with real labor and moral stakes. Read as a triptych, the three appearances model a cognitive process the reader is meant to perform on every stanza in the sequence: encounter, complicate, interrogate.

The conspiracy stanzas form a diptych that accomplishes a complete epistemological argument in two passes. "Ever think the real conspiracy was all the dumb-making conspiracies?" posits an active degradation of public reasoning — conspiracies as instruments for stupefying rather than awakening the population. The later entry deepens the diagnosis: "positing conspiracy helps hide an even scarier reality: widespread incompetence." The first implies intent; the second explains why conspiracy-thinking proliferates even without intent — it is psychologically preferable to attribute systemic failure to a malevolent organizing will than to face the contingent, uncontrollable, humiliating possibility that those in authority are simply not up to the task. Conspiracy, in this reading, is a comfort, not a revelation: it restores the world's legibility at the cost of accuracy. Together, the two stanzas describe a complete ecosystem — one in which dumb-making conspiracies spread precisely because they are more bearable than the truth.

The political stanzas build toward the poem's most explicit ideological thesis, which is unusual for its structural even-handedness. The yin-yang stanza positions neither wing as simply right or wrong: "the right (yang-white) is the guard of custom and excellence / and the left (yin-black) is the guard of progress and the persecuted — / a dot of white stops black chaos; a dot of white stops white tyranny." Each side has a genuine function; each side's excess is its pathology; each contains the corrective it would deny. This is not centrism but dialectic — a model in which the dot of each color in the other's territory prevents the absolutism toward which each naturally tends. The diversity stanza extends this analysis to institutional culture: "excluding diversity — below-the-skin diversity / of opinion and language — on the pretense / of promoting inclusive diversity." The paradox here — that diversity programs can enforce ideological conformity under the banner of inclusion — is among the poem's sharpest observations precisely because it refuses the comfort of a partisan exit. The stanza on the right wing banning art deploys irony to register a historical confusion without resolving it: the poem notes the reversal without declaring a winner.

The stanzas engaging sexual violence require sustained attention to what they are actually doing. The pairing — "feisty enough to need rape ropes even with her tongue nailed to the wall" and "you need no rape restraints when her tongue is nailed to the wall" — forms a dialectic about the relationship between voice and resistance. The first formulation argues that some capacity for resistance is so irreducible that even compounded silencing (the tongue neutralized, speech removed entirely) fails to eliminate the need for physical restraint; the will persists in the body even when its vocal expression is foreclosed. The second formulation inverts this: when voice is sufficiently abolished, physical restraint becomes unnecessary, because the will cannot mobilize the body without the vocalization that activates and sustains it. Read together, the stanzas constitute an argument about what silence does to agency — not about violence as pleasure but about the mechanics of coercion, about where resistance lives in the body and what its suppression requires. This connects to the broader meditation on voice, testimony, and the gag in "Tickle Theory Skepticism": the poet returns consistently to the relationship between speech, will, and power.

"The intrinsic joy of single-point focus on anything — escaping a rapist included" is a psychological rather than moral claim, and a genuine one. Research on flow state has long documented that total concentration produces its own phenomenological reward regardless of the activity's moral content or context. The stanza proposes that this capacity is robust under conditions of extreme duress — that human consciousness can access a form of purposeful clarity even when the circumstances are worst. The provocation is in naming that particular example, which forces the reader to hold the observation against the horror of the situation it illustrates. This is the mosaic's characteristic operation throughout: discomfort in the service of an insight that cannot be reached without it.

The grief stanzas provide the poem's emotional counterweight to its political and philosophical range. "Watching a loved one — just in their face, / their eyes — accept that you will not survive / before you yourself have accepted it" achieves exact devastation in its rendering of terminal witness: one's own death perceived first as an external fact in another's expression, before the self can assimilate what the face has already accepted. The estrangement is doubled — death arriving first as an object of observation in someone else, and only later, if at all, as a subjective fact. The father's mound stanza achieves a comparable precision through temporal layering: the current graveside visit occasions a memory of visiting grandparents' graves together with the now-interred father, so that the speaker stands at multiple generations of mortality simultaneously. The cremation urn stanza deploys a child's literal-minded innocence — the body's reduction to an unrecognizable volume — to open what funeral ritual forecloses. The laughter is "contagious even in this darkest hour" precisely because the child's question bypasses the ritual management of grief and arrives at the body's actual fate.

The stanza about children whispering in the aftermath of parental violence — "children stuck whispering for hours / in the wake of a parental spat that dipped / into screams and shattered glass" — appears verbatim in "Crank Shaft," establishing the relationship between the mosaic poem and the companion prose pieces as generative rather than merely archival. The mosaic provides the image; the prose activates it within a specific consciousness and scene. The image means differently in each context — in the mosaic, it is a freestanding observation about children's embodied response to adult volatility; in "Crank Shaft," it describes the uncanny neighborhood silence after a child's death — yet carries its full prior charge into its new context. This is not recycling but ecology: images circulate between forms, accumulate additional valences, and retain their original compression.

The poem's final stanza is its most volatile, and its argument demands unflinching engagement. The stanza links medical racism — the documented phenomenon of physicians undertreating Black patients' pain — to what it identifies as the chilling effect of racial accusation on cultural criticism. The argument is that in an era when criticizing what the poem calls "hyperviolent-hypersexual poisons of black culture" risks the accusation of racism, a broader reluctance to engage critically with race can produce perverse effects in clinical practice, enabling assumptions about differential pain tolerance to go unchallenged. The logical chain is real: social sanction of a category of discourse can generate avoidance with consequences in adjacent domains. What the stanza risks — and this is a genuine risk the poem does not fully audit — is that its critique of certain cultural products becomes available as cover for wider chauvinism, that the charged phrase "hyperviolent-hypersexual poisons" carries its own freight of prejudgment that the stanza's argumentative structure does not examine. The poem does not resolve this tension. It creates it, and places it at the end of a sequence, where it cannot be absorbed by what follows. This is either the poem's most honest moment — a willingness to end on an unresolved and genuinely difficult problem — or its most exposed. Probably it is both.

Formally, the 2017 stanzas resist any single organizational principle. Length varies from a single image-cluster to a sustained tercet; subject matter ranges from the cosmological (Jesus as metaphor for stellar nucleosynthesis) to the micro-social (shoplifting CDs in youth to sell them back). Tone shifts without announcement — dark humor, philosophical inquiry, erotic observation, political satire, elegy appear in sequence without tonal bridge. Yet the poem maintains a consistent pressure: a single intelligence scanning the full bandwidth of contemporary experience with an attention that neither aestheticizes nor retreats. "Listening is a gift of recognizing the other's existence" earns its place in the sequence because the poem has performed the claim across every preceding entry — attending, across a wide range of subjects and registers, to the full texture of what it means to exist in America in 2017, without deciding in advance which existences warrant the most serious consideration.

What "Made for You and Me" is doing — and what the mosaic form makes possible — is something different from cultural criticism and different from lyric witness: it is an attempt to render a cultural moment as it actually presents itself to a mind moving through it, in fragments, without the retrospective coherence that narrative imposes. The hive does not explain itself. It hums.

Meta Description

A mosaic poem anatomizing American cultural experience in 2017 through aphoristic fragments — spanning grief, sexual violence, political epistemology, medical racism, dark humor, cosmology, and race — that generate meaning through juxtaposition rather than argument, refusing synthesis while maintaining the consistent pressure of a single intelligence scanning its total environment without deciding in advance what deserves the most serious attention.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, aphoristic poetry, American cultural criticism, political epistemology, conspiracy theory poetry, racial pain bias, diversity paradox, yin-yang politics, flow state, grief and dark humor, mosaic form poetics, contemporary American poetry, 2016–2020 poetry, cultural fragment poetry, intertextual poetry, voice and coercion, Trump era poetry, aphorism and witness

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Pumps and a Bump (ROUND 8)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Pumps and a Bump (ROUND 8)

“Pumps and a Bump” operates as a high-octane, claustrophobic study of the pathology of boundary collapse, forensic panic, and sexual predation under the alibi of medical authority. The piece explicitly rejects both the sanitizing vocabulary of trauma discourse and the standard legal syntax of consent, embedding itself instead in an asymmetrical zone of cognitive and somatic violence: the premeditated violation of a sedated pediatric patient by a pediatric dentist, Dr. James. Yet, what distinguishes this work is that it does not stop at criminal pathology or sensationalist shock. Instead, it uses an extreme study in compulsion, rationalization, and metaphysical absurdity to interrogate broader questions about agency, repetition, and the grotesque persistence of desire. The narrative engine of the text is not merely the transgressive act itself, but the immense, agonizingly deferred physiological and mechanical preparation that precedes it, contrasted sharply against the instantaneous, frantic reversal of the post-coital cleanup. By tracking this cycle, the text positions the predatory body as a machine trapped between biological hyper-secretion and thermodynamic panic, ultimately using one particularly monstrous case to ask whether the compulsive momentum visible in him is simply an intensified version of the same absurd force animating all life.

The opening movement establishes the offender not first through his crime, but through the infrastructure and bodily mechanics of obsession. Dr. James’s two-week abstinence is characterized not as a moral exercise, but as a severe hydraulic engineering project. The text maps this build-up onto a hostile, hyper-fertile spring landscape marked by the “musty rot and metallic tang of Bradford pears in their hysterical bloom” and the “fermented carnality” of a dental hygienist’s “tuberose scent bubble.” The protagonist’s physical gait is structurally deformed by his internal accumulation; he adopts a wide stance and a “mincing,” crab-like walk that he deceptively frames to his staff as a sports injury (“My racquetball days are done”). His discomfort, his odd gait, his improvisational excuses—all create a portrait of a man whose body has become completely subordinated to an elaborate ritual of deferred gratification. The description of his self-imposed fast is grotesquely comic in its extremity, yet this humor serves a serious psychological function: it reveals the absurd lengths to which desire can restructure ordinary life, turning compulsion into something infrastructural rather than episodic. The calendar markings, the broken novelty Dino Dental pens busting apart into "doohickey springs of steampunk," the customer irritability, and the sharp bodily pains shooting toward his kidneys make the build-up feel like an agonizing containment system. Seconds are described as “ratcheted so open in [their] splay” that time itself undergoes a painful dilation, forcing him to maintain a continuous pelvic contraction ("holding a kegel—pelvic floor white as his toe knuckles") to prevent the entire structural architecture of his desire from unzipping too soon.

A major strength of the piece is its refusal to frame the subject’s psychology as wholly alien or existing in a vacuum. The analogies to crack addicts searching the rug for what they know are only baking-soda pebbles of carpet deodorizer, broody hens incubating golf balls until a real egg comes along, and a bereaved orca carrying her decomposing calf over weeks to the surface to “breathe” all work toward a disturbing proposition: irrational persistence is not exceptional, but deeply continuous with life itself. The predator becomes not less monstrous, but more unsettling precisely because his internal mechanisms rhyme with broader biological patterns of fixation, investment, and denial. This calculations-based framework transforms the body into a tactical asset, emphasizing that the protagonist is entirely un-entitled to pity because his suffering is a closed, autogenous loop. It is a self-inflicted pressure system designed to withstand the interim how for the sake of a precise, teleological why, proving that "even water tastes like manna after two days of abstinence."

The structural pivot of the narrative occurs at the exact moment of climax, described as a "ballistic bluster furious enough to displace a ceiling tile." The act itself is marked by an obsessive, mechanical completionism—an absolute refusal to let "one gelatinous clot less than all he had to give fill the patient." The mouth of the anesthetized child is explicitly defined as a "consolation cavity," a secondary surrogate for the other, more legally and physically damning anatomical spaces that he cannot fully violate without immediate detection. However, the core analytical interest of the text lies in the immediate, split-second transition from total, transgressive abandon to the panicked discipline of forensic erasure. The absolute sovereignty of the predatory ego instantly collapses into an absolute state of legal and social vulnerability, providing the piece's central absurdist engine. The same obsessive drive powers both violation and concealment; the instant he stands there knowing no more contractions are coming, the offender frantically works to erase the evidence. His transformation from a figure of complete self-assertion to a frantic custodian is mediated through the clinical tools of his trade. The spit sucker, an instrument designed for standard dental hygiene, is converted into an engine of desperate evidence eradication, unkinked for maximal reach to scavenge the depths of the child’s throat. The text highlights the radical absurdity of this reversal: a man who, milliseconds prior, would have joyfully obliterated his family, reputation, license, and freedom to deposit his biological material, now suctions the fucking thing to ensure no residual metallic taste or aspiration pneumonia can invite legal scrutiny.

This act of suctioning is not merely pragmatic; it functions as a psychological defense mechanism—a ritual of moral resetting. The text notes that his extreme thoroughness is not so much care for a moral agent he had wronged as his way to express a clean slate, his way to symbolize that he was done for good now with such wronging. The repeated promises to stop are crucial here. The internal utterance of “No more” and “This is the last damn time” acts as a cyclical, secular absolution. These lines are not presented as exculpatory, but they complicate the portrait by introducing post-act lucidity and self-awareness without transformation. The offender recognizes his pattern, experiences the sobriety of post-pop relief, and yet the narrative voice observes that this fragile moral architecture is already doomed to crack the moment yet another set of breast buds enters his field of vision. This places the work in direct conversation with addiction literature, exploring the structural similarities between compulsive systems of behavior where the cleanup is an intrinsic component of the transgressive cycle itself, providing the empty baseline necessary for the next accumulation to begin.

When the text pans back to describe the physical mechanics of the assault, it deliberately strips the scene of clinical realism, opting instead for a grotesque, highly stylized aesthetic collage that functions as zoological estrangement. The offender is described almost as if by an alien naturalist, his motions transformed into a bizarre mating choreography and tracked through a series of jarring cultural and historical coordinates. He is depicted with a right leg hitched high like MC Hammer's dog, hands overlapped as if air humping to the New Jack of a 90s NYC nightclub, and hips pumping with the footing-loss frustration of a crazed stallion to the real song on the cloud playlist ("Hit Me with Your Best Shot"). This aesthetic choices achieves a radical de-individualization, removing Dr. James from a specific clinical setting and integrating him into a timeless, evolutionary lineage of biological expenditure where his labor unites him with builders of anthills and Giza pyramids alike. Furthermore, the juxtaposition of aging, arthritic joints, a cottage-cheese ass, a purple cock ring, and a "white ass grooving and grinding at the Slow Jamz tempo" highlights a profound incongruity. The body is exposed as a ridiculous, straining machine undergoing severe mechanical stress rather than an idealized vessel of transgression. Finally, the inclusion of Daddy/Doll Girl whispers (“Lil fuckin Sleeping Beauty, huh? Think I ain’t seeing through the bullshit”) demonstrates the predatory mind's need to impose a narrative of latent submission onto a completely unresponsive, chemically paralyzed victim, interpreting her sedation as a coded form of participation to preserve his own psychic deniability.

What elevates the piece beyond a clinical pathology study is its widening philosophical aperture. The narrator explicitly shifts from individual explanation to meta-absurdity: even if every behavior can be causally explained, explanation does not dissolve the existential grotesquerie of the pattern itself. This culminates in an extraordinary widening outward—from the man, to spiders and roots and ants, to AI, to creation itself. The offender’s absurd behavioral loop becomes a grotesque microcosm of a broader cosmic condition: a world of finite beings endlessly investing against entropy, building, desiring, and repeating, without having asked to exist. The text introduces a profound state of hermeneutic contamination that cannot be scrubbed out by the clinical efficacy of the suction rod or chlorhexidined wipes. Although the physical data can be vacuumed away into a plastic tube, the rank vibe of predation remains completely indelible, hanging in the air alongside the child's tousled hair, her nasal hood all out of whack, and the unmistakably yellow spunk passing through the line. The text explicitly links this local forensic anxiety to a systemic cosmic nausea. It asks whether a zoomed-in tracing of any finite creature investing desperation as the horizon of Etch-a-Sketch erasure gallops closer might awaken the same nausea even in an artificial intelligence thrown into this world like its parents.

The final question—whether this absurdity scales all the way back to the ultimate archē—reveals the piece’s deepest ambition. The true subject is not simply predation, but the metaphysical embarrassment of embodied desire itself. The criminal becomes the most lurid available specimen for examining whether life’s endless drives, investments, and self-defeating loops are intelligible in any ultimately satisfying sense. Formally, the piece is maximalist in a way that perfectly serves its themes. The prose mimics obsessive accumulation: clause upon clause, image upon image, mirroring the compulsive excess it depicts. The reader is meant to feel trapped inside a relentless, hyper-concentrated momentum where the sudden, frantic rush to clean what just milliseconds before the man would have destroyed his entire existence to soil becomes a terrifying, self-sustaining cycle of recurring violation.

Meta Description

A claustrophobic, maximalist prose piece exploring the hydraulic buildup of obsession, forensic panic, and sexual violation under medical sedation, tracking a predatory dentist's cycle of somatic accumulation, frantic cleanup, and existential absurdity.

Keywords

Pumps and a Bump, forensic panic, somatic accumulation, predatory mechanics, medical authority violation, sedation dentistry trauma, hermeneutic contamination, existential nausea, thermodynamic entropy, transgressive cycle, legal erasure, bodily economy, maximalist prose, metaphysics of desire

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Crank Shaft (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Crank Shaft (ROUND 1)

"Crank Shaft" is a study in the irreducibility of fractured consciousness. Its narrator sits immobile on a curb in the aftermath of a child's death — a death he witnessed, could not prevent, and is implicated in by the precise act through which he was prevented from acting. The piece does not pursue his guilt as a legal or even moral verdict. It pursues something harder: the way consciousness, under the pressure of catastrophic self-implication, does not consolidate into remorse or clarity or collapse, but continues generating its ordinary traffic — desire, calculation, self-interest, animal solidarity, spiritual hunger — at the same frequency it always did, except now without the possibility of relief or discharge.

The title operates at multiple levels simultaneously, and its multiplicity is the piece's thesis in compressed form. "Crank shaft" is, mechanically, the component that converts reciprocal piston motion into rotational force — the machine's engine of transformation, turning one kind of movement into another. Cars have crankshafts. The car that kills the boy is driven by one. But "crank" as verb is also slang for masturbation, and "shaft" carries its own phallic register. The narrator was cranking when the shaft of the car's wheel passed over the boy's skull. The title fuses these two motions — the man's reciprocal autoerotic action and the mechanical rotation of the killing car — into a single mechanism, implying that the two "chains of causality" the narrator watches converge are not coincidental but structurally linked: joined in the crankshaft of the title before the event even occurs.

The opening paragraph achieves its effects through deliberate impoverishment. "I have not gotten up from the curb. The ambulance had taken the body long ago. I just sit here." The sentences are meager, sequential, declarative. They refuse emotional amplification because the narrator's consciousness has not yet begun to amplify — or rather, it exists in a state between amplification and something else, something the piece will not name until its final paragraph. The police officer who stood beside him has drifted away; he cannot say when. Time has become unreliable — a recurring feature of the piece's temporal architecture.

The second paragraph's extended silence is doing what silence in fiction always does: making the unusual feel cosmic. The twilight that "refuses to lift," the absent sub-woofers and weedwackers, the dogs that have stopped their chronic efforts to escape their minds — these details accumulate into a collective mourning the narrator's own consciousness cannot yet perform. The animals register what the man cannot. This is not anthropomorphism but its opposite: the piece suggests that intuitive attunement to catastrophe is more available to creatures unburdened by the narrator's particular form of self-consciousness. The feral cat, the squirrel, the dogs organize themselves around the event with a precision of response he finds himself unable to match from within. His vigil is, partly, an attempt to approximate what they do naturally.

The cat passage is one of the piece's most intricate moments. The narrator has a relationship with this animal built on patient habituation and mutual accommodation. The cat is "in that spiritual bind between needing to make biscuits and needing to maintain that sleepless guard" — a formulation that finds in feline ambivalence an exact analogue for the narrator's own divided state: between the need for comfort and the compulsion toward vigilance, between desire and danger. But today the cat refuses approach, slinking back into coverage "as if the world to him, even with the lack of usual traffic, were full of tripwires visible only to creatures more attuned to intuition." The cat has read something in the scene, in the narrator, that warrants withdrawal. This is one of the piece's quietest indictments.

The fourth paragraph initiates the retrospective account, and it does so with a sentence that refuses to soften its framing: "It happened while I was watching the mother's ass through the blinds." This is the piece's central confession, delivered without syntactic ceremony. The mother has been the narrator's sustained erotic preoccupation since Spring. The piece renders his desire in terms that are both psychologically precise and deliberately excessive — "the vision of how blown out she must be, especially against how tight she kept what was visible to the public eye" pulls at the pornographic logic of concealment and revelation, but the narrator's prose voice doesn't aestheticize this: it reports it, flatly, as part of a psychological inventory. The hunger "grunts" pulled from his throat are animalistic precisely at the moment when the animal world is quietly retreating from him.

The Vaseline, the dish soap, the paper towels — these domestic particulars are the piece's most morally weighted details. They ground the narrator's compromised state in the specific, unglamorized textures of ordinary self-gratification: not fantasy or psychology but petroleum jelly and kitchen sinks. "My hand was greased with Vaseline. I saw the tire run over the worst spot." The juxtaposition is not played for horror; it is allowed to speak at its own frequency. The piece trusts its materials.

The marathon analogy is the narrator's most sophisticated act of self-exculpation, and the piece exposes it without editorializing. The argument is that bodily states do not disqualify one from action — that if marathon runners can go on despite soiling themselves, masturbating would not have prevented a response. But the analogy fails at its premise. A marathon runner's diarrhea is not chosen. The narrator's masturbation was — and was chosen, moreover, in the direct presence of children playing outside, whose safety he had declared his "war" for nearly a decade. The piece does not point this out explicitly. It simply places the analogy in proximity to the facts and lets the distance between them become readable.

The prayer is similarly self-unraveling. "If I had really thought the prayer would have efficacy, would I still have taken this me time?" This conditional exposes the prayer as insurance rather than supplication — a hedged appeal to a God he does not actually believe in enough to act on. He prayed because praying was cheaper than stopping. The prayer's failure to carry conviction is itself a form of evidence: it tells us what he actually, in the moment, believed about the situation's severity — and what he chose anyway.

The intrusive sexual fantasy in the later paragraphs is the piece's most disturbing formal decision, and it is fully earned. Sitting on the curb, the narrator imagines going down on the mother after the funeral, imagines whispering "I'm gonna give you another baby" at climax. "The shame of such thoughts, just like the thoughts themselves — all of it keeps receding and I remain here." The piece does not present this as a moral revelation — as proof of the narrator's depravity — but as evidence of something more disturbing: that consciousness does not reorganize itself around catastrophe. The same erotic circuitry running while the child tipped off his bike continues to run after. Eros does not observe a period of mourning. The fantasy of giving the grieving mother "another baby" is not simply grotesque; it is the libidinal unconscious's attempt to perform reparation in the only language it knows, which the piece allows to be simultaneously obscene and, in its own broken way, legible.

The performativity passage is where the piece most directly examines its own procedure. The narrator lists the possible explanations for his continued vigil — spectacle for neighbors, cosmic gratitude, preemptive offering — and watches each explanation "drop away each time they rise." He cannot make these explanations stick because they are insufficient. Whatever holds him to the curb is not reducible to any instrumental logic. The piece does not replace the failed explanations with a better one. What remains after all of them have dropped away is the vigil itself, which the piece presents as genuinely opaque — not transcendent, not redemptive, but real in a way that exceeds the narrator's available categories.

The final paragraph enacts the dissolution it names. "The deep gears I have always known to spin have stopped." The mechanical metaphor reaches back to the title: the crankshaft is no longer turning. "I feel one with the tree, one with the buzzing wire." Through exhaustion or grace or both, the narrator has arrived at something like the animals' attunement — a state in which selfhood temporarily ceases to organize experience from the center and instead becomes part of the environment. But the piece refuses to aestheticize this. The sun burns his scalp. "I have reason to get up. But how can I?" The final line is not rhetorical. It is a genuine question about what it means to re-enter the self — to restart the crankshaft — after this.

Formally, the piece moves between impoverished declarative sentences and long recursive clauses in a rhythm that mimics the narrator's oscillation between numbness and eruption. The short sentences carry the facts; the long sentences carry the consciousness's attempts to process them. Neither mode achieves resolution. Tense shifts — present vigil, past event — create a palimpsest structure in which the event keeps returning into the present tense of the curb. The narrator cannot finish thinking about what happened because he has not left the site where it happened, and cannot leave because he cannot finish thinking.

What "Crank Shaft" achieves is a portrait of psychological fragmentation that neither condemns nor exonerates but insists on the full complexity of a consciousness simultaneously capable of deep care, chronic selfishness, genuine grief, and the unstoppable continuation of desire through all of it. The crankshaft is still the mechanism. The question the piece leaves open is whether the man on the curb is the driver or the engine — whether he willed this or was run by it — and the refusal to answer is the piece's deepest ethical act.

Meta Description

A prose piece examining psychological fragmentation in the aftermath of catastrophic witness: a narrator whose masturbatory act entangles him in a child's death sits immobile on a curb while his consciousness continues to generate desire, calculation, self-exculpation, and grief in equal, irresolvable measure — refusing every explanation for why he stays.

Keywords

Crank Shaft, psychological fragmentation, trauma prose, erotic consciousness and catastrophe, moral culpability literature, prose poem close reading, traumatic witness, dissociation and desire, interior monologue analysis, flash fiction guilt, consciousness and catastrophe, self-exculpation narrative, death and eros, contemporary American prose poetry, compromised narrator

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Endgame Wegovy (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Endgame Wegovy (ROUND 1)

"Endgame Wegovy" is a poem about the politics of pharmaceutical timing. Its subject is not simply obesity, fat positivity, or the GLP-1 drug revolution: it is the cynical patience of capital, the way "big medicine" studies cultural movements not to respond to human need but to calculate when a trend's collapse will most profitably clear the field. In nine lines and three tercets, the poem stages an entire cycle of cultural history — the rise of fat acceptance rhetoric, its internal contradictions, and the pharmaceutical industry's prepared intervention — with a compression so severe that each phrase must bear several simultaneous analytical weights.

The title establishes the poem's temporal argument before the first line begins. In chess, the endgame designates the phase in which most pieces have been cleared and the game enters its decisive resolution. Applied here, Wegovy arrives not as a beginning but as a culmination: the board has been reduced to its essential positions, the cultural middle game has played itself out, and the pharmaceutical move was always coming. "Endgame" also carries a suggestion of finality that the poem deliberately refuses to endorse — the drug may represent the end of something (fat positivity's cultural momentum, the pretense of body-positive medicine), but the poem does not allow Wegovy to be read as a solution. The endgame is an arrival at consequence, not at resolution.

The opening tercet moves with a care that its breezy diction deliberately obscures. "Fat praise ('Werk!')" operates immediately on multiple registers. "Fat" is simultaneously modifier, adjective, and subject: lavish praise, praise of fatness, praise functioning as the cultural production of fatness as category. "Werk!" imports the lexicon of ballroom and drag culture — a term of fierce aesthetic affirmation — and positions it as representative of a broader political vocabulary that celebrated corporeal size as identity, health as irrelevant, and criticism as oppression. The poem does not simply dismiss this vocabulary. What it does is place it in an unstable compound with "Oscars / recruitment jingle for graveyards." The Academy Awards have, in recent years, been a significant site of cultural representation debates; read here, they function as the prestige machinery that ratifies and amplifies whatever the culture has decided to celebrate. To call fat praise an "Oscars recruitment jingle for graveyards" is to say that the celebratory apparatus of mainstream culture has been cheerleading for premature death. That is a severe charge — but crucially, the poem immediately qualifies it. "Is not all gross calamity." The fat-positive project is not wholly catastrophic. The poem's intelligence begins in this refusal to be a simple brief for either side.

"Gross" deserves pause. Its first meaning is obvious: utter, undiluted disaster. But "gross" also means large, excessive, physically unwieldy — the word the poem won't use directly about fat bodies activates itself in the evaluative clause about fat praise. The poem is not subtle about this collision; it is precise. The same adjective that has been weaponized against fat people inheres in the speaker's own unwillingness to call the fat-positive movement an uncomplicated catastrophe. The language has been contaminated by the argument before the argument properly begins.

The second tercet turns from cultural analysis to industry portraiture, and it does so with one of the poem's most physically uncomfortable figures: "big medicine, / squirmy as a diabetic denied / a toilet." The simile is deliberately transgressive in its corporeality. Pharmaceutical capital is rendered as a body in urgent distress — squirming, needing relief, barely contained. The diabetic urgency is not incidental. Semaglutide's origins lie in type 2 diabetes treatment; Ozempic preceded Wegovy as a diabetic medication. The simile thus implicates the drug's own medical history in the image of its manufacturer's impatience. The industry that would eventually market the drug to the world's fat-anxious populations is here depicted as itself suffering the symptoms of a condition it would later profit from treating. This is dark but not arbitrary: it suggests that big medicine's relationship to metabolic disease is less therapeutic than it is economic, less reactive than it is anticipatory.

"Waiting in the wings" carries this theatrical patience into the realm of stage management. The wings are where actors wait, unseen, for their cue. The pharmaceutical industry has not been absent from the cultural drama of fat positivity; it has been offstage, watching for its entrance. The enjambment that follows is the poem's most sophisticated formal gesture: "waiting in the wings — / the bariatric wings —." The dash suspends the theatrical metaphor at maximum tension, then redirects it without releasing it. "Bariatric wings" are institutional — the clinical and surgical divisions of hospitals and obesity medicine practices — but the theatrical meaning survives the pivot. The industry is waiting in both the theatrical and the clinical sense: offstage and already architecturally prepared.

"For the craze / to blow out like knees" completes the waiting. "Blow out" works on three levels simultaneously: extinguishment (a flame going out), structural collapse (a tire blowout, a wall giving way), and the specifically orthopedic failure of joints under stress. Knees blow out under excess weight; they also blow out in athletic competition. The image is body-specific in a way that recalls the poem's subject without requiring explicit anatomical argument. The fat-positive craze is predicted to collapse in the same mode as the bodies it was celebrating — structurally, under accumulated pressure. This is not simple mockery. The poem is naming a real phenomenon: trends built on denial of consequence do not end abstractly. They end in the body.

The final phrase — "so it could drop its control-Z" — is the poem's conceptual punchline and its most contemporary idiom. Control-Z is the universal keyboard shortcut for undo. Big medicine was waiting, in its squirmy institutional discomfort, for the fat-positive cultural moment to exhaust itself so that it could enter and reverse the entire preceding sequence: walk back the acceptance, reintroduce shame as medical motivation, and sell the antidote to what the culture had been insisting was not a problem. "Drop" is chosen carefully over "execute" or "deploy." It suggests both release and casual ease — the industry drops its control-Z the way one might drop a bag one has been holding while waiting for someone slow to finish. The impatience has been strategic. The casualness is the point.

Formally, the poem works by compression and collision. Its three tercets are not symmetrically weighted: the first frames the cultural condition, the second renders pharmaceutical impatience in bodily terms, and the third delivers the mechanical reveal. The poem moves from the social to the visceral to the digital — "Werk!," "squirmy as a diabetic denied / a toilet," "control-Z" — making each register feel equally contemporary and equally implicated. No discourse emerges clean. The language of body positivity is compromised by its graveyard adjacency. Medical compassion is compromised by corporate timing. Digital idiom is deployed against both.

What "Endgame Wegovy" refuses is the comfortable position from which to read the pharmaceutical revolution as rescue. It does not argue that fat people should not take Wegovy, nor that fat praise is simply lethal propaganda. Its argument is structural and temporal: that big medicine did not respond to a crisis; it waited for one, or rather, it waited for the cultural conditions that had suppressed acknowledgment of the crisis to collapse, so that the market it had already prepared could open. The "endgame" is the move that was always coming, by a player that was always at the table.

Meta Description

A poem about pharmaceutical timing, fat-positive culture, and the cynical patience of big medicine — examining how Wegovy's cultural arrival was less a rescue than a prepared endgame: capital waiting, offstage and squirming, for the right moment to drop its control-Z on an exhausted cultural trend.

Keywords

Endgame Wegovy, semaglutide poetry, fat positivity satire, pharmaceutical critique, GLP-1 culture, bariatric medicine poetry, Ozempic poetry, body politics contemporary verse, big pharma satire, obesity drug culture, control-Z metaphor, contemporary American satire, cultural trend critique, fat acceptance and medicine, close reading contemporary poetry

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Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)


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