in the absence of expected disaster, we are
left again to what we do not want to be
left again to: each other—each other’s eyes

to Hive being

welcome

What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?

You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.

In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.

My Journey

I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.  

The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.

Call for Co-Conspirators

This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.

Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).

You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.

My Hope

Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.

People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.

My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.

What to Expect

My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.

By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.

But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.

Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!

Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.

Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.

Featured Posts

RSS Feed Link

tag cloud


Posts

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 91)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 91)

Part 91 is the most tonally varied installment of the 2017 sequence, its range spanning cosmic theology, addiction phenomenology, sexual candor, grief, ecological observation, and epistemological comedy within a single continuous movement. Where earlier installments built sustained pressure around a governing theme — complicity, dying, category — Part 91 moves with something closer to the rhythm of ordinary consciousness on a day when everything is equally present: the sublime and the absurd arriving in the same breath, neither canceling the other. The installment's argument, distributed across its full length, concerns the relationship between perception and its objects — the way seeing, framing, labeling, and narrating transform what they encounter, for better and worse, and the costs of getting this transformation wrong.

The theological stanzas provide the installment's most sustained philosophical thread. "It is impossible for us to exist estranged completely from that of which / we are completely a function — indeed, to say that the divine light reaches / even into hell undersells the point since everything expresses the source" is the sequence's most explicitly pantheist formulation, arguing not merely that God is present everywhere but that the very structure of existence as expression of source makes radical estrangement metaphysically impossible. The statement about eternal torture — "to say that some suffer eternal torture, / even for a finite evil, perhaps is to say / that God is not ultimately successful" — derives a theological conclusion from premises most orthodox believers would accept: if God is omnipotent and ultimately good, then eternal damnation represents a permanent failure of divine purpose. The argument is not atheist but internal to theism, turning doctrinal logic against one of its own most defended positions. "She suffered from excessive religiosity until the cysts / in her temporal lobe, which would have made her / a mystic or a witch at a different time, were excised" places mystical experience in the context of neurology without reducing it — the poem does not say the cysts produced false experience, only that the same neurological condition produces different social identities depending on the historical moment that receives it.

The addiction and depression cluster achieves the installment's most psychologically precise observations. "When the miasma of depression dissipates / you can finally become sad / at things really to be sad about" is among the entire project's most exact formulations of the phenomenology of clinical depression — the way the condition generates its own affective weather that has no necessary relationship to actual circumstances, so that its lifting reveals the genuine emotional landscape that was always there but inaccessible beneath the undifferentiated weight. The addict's partial commitment — "This time at least / don't get as bad as before" — names the specific cognitive negotiation of the person who cannot yet commit to abstinence but can commit to harm reduction, the mind finding the foothold available to it rather than the one the recovery literature prescribes. "After just the first sip, the teen / learns of the possibility to be free / of the anxiety thought normal" closes the installment on one of its most compassionate observations: the first drink's revelation is not corruption but the discovery that the ambient anxiety the teenager had assumed was simply the texture of existence is in fact a condition that can be relieved. That the relief is temporary and the cost compound does not make the initial discovery less real or the teenager less sympathetic.

The sequence's treatment of perception and framing reaches its fullest articulation across several entries that collectively argue that how we see determines what we see in ways we rarely account for. "Conditioned to see nature as endless enmity, / even as cameras cannot help but capture / fox cubs at play and seals sunning on a rock" names the gap between inherited ideological frameworks and direct sensory evidence — the camera, indifferent to the Hobbesian narrative, keeps recording play and ease. "Suggesting, as it does, that any emotional attempt / to convey the horror would fall short of its aim, / the clinical detachment of the depiction evokes it all the more" is the installment's most sophisticated aesthetic observation, identifying the counterintuitive principle by which restraint in representation produces greater affective impact than amplification — the principle that governs much of the mosaic poem's own method. "As if viewers would not know what to feel without it, / and helping to make that true, symphonic music floods / each scene to reinforce emotion already on the screen" applies the same logic inversely, identifying film scoring as a form of emotional colonization that both assumes and produces the audience's dependence on affective instruction.

"The weirdo no longer invited us / to exasperation and revulsion once / we labeled him 'special needs'" is the installment's most compressed observation about how diagnostic categories manage social discomfort — the label functioning not primarily as clinical description but as a mechanism for converting threatening difference into legible, and therefore less disturbing, otherness. The management is for the labelers, not the labeled. This connects to the broader thread about framing's power: "ridiculing one's culture simply by depicting it / in art, as if it were obvious to one's culture / how ridiculous the culture really is" names the specific blindspot of satirical art that assumes its targets will recognize the critique, when in fact the culture being depicted often reads the depiction as celebration.

"The whore was the only one you could be honest with" arrives without context and without irony, and its placement among the installment's other observations about intimacy and disclosure gives it the weight of genuine psychological observation rather than provocation. The commercial relationship, precisely because it is bounded and transactional, creates a space in which the client is released from the performance of self that social relationships require. The honesty is real even if the context that produces it is considered scandalous. This connects to the earlier installment's observation about the sex worker dozing mid-encounter: the poem's treatment of commercial sex is consistently interested in the psychological truths the transaction reveals rather than in moral adjudication of its participants.

"Faced with oblivion (or, more accurately, / subblivion), why not jump into love / with open arms even after heartbreak?" is the installment's most explicitly philosophical address to the reader, and "subblivion" is its most inventive coinage — a state below oblivion, worse than nothingness, the condition of conscious extinction without even the comfort of unconsciousness. Against this prospect the poem proposes love's risk not as naive optimism but as the rational response to genuine existential stakes: if subblivion awaits, the calculus of self-protection against heartbreak looks very different.

"Face studded with rusted hooks (the newest one popping through just under her eye), / it was hard not to see the fish as a war general, and — medal-drunk creatures as we are, / exaggerators and carnival gawkers — it was hard not to place a few more before release" is the installment's most formally elaborated image, and it performs a double self-critique. The fish is observed through the lens of human narrative — the hooks become medals, the fish becomes a general — and the observer, catching himself in the projection, names both the impulse ("medal-drunk creatures as we are") and its irresistibility. But the final detail — "it was hard not to place a few more before release" — implicates the observer in the production of the spectacle he is analyzing. He knows he is a carnival gawker and places the hooks anyway. The self-awareness does not produce the self-correction.

Formally, Part 91 achieves its most comfortable relationship with its own length and variety — the entries feel less like inventory and more like the natural movement of a particular intelligence through a particular day's worth of perception. The comedy is more integrated here than in earlier installments: "sex with the toupee on," "thermostat battles with the spouse," "itches coming when it is inappropriate to scratch" are not relief valves from the sequence's serious work but continuous with it, the same quality of precise attention applied to the minor humiliations of embodied life as to theological argument or racial history. This tonal integration — the refusal to rank the sublime above the bathetic — is the mosaic's deepest formal commitment, and Part 91 is where that commitment feels most fully realized.

Meta Description

The 91st installment of the mosaic poem moves with the rhythm of ordinary consciousness at full range — theological argument, addiction phenomenology, perceptual self-critique, and comic embodiment arriving in continuous sequence, collectively arguing that framing and narration transform their objects in ways the framer rarely accounts for, and that the costs of this blindspot are distributed across every domain of experience from clinical depression to film scoring to the fish one hooks and cannot help but turn into a war general.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 91, pantheism poetry, eternal damnation critique, depression phenomenology, addiction harm reduction, temporal lobe mysticism, framing and perception, clinical detachment aesthetics, film scoring critique, diagnostic labeling, subblivion, commercial sex and honesty, fish and projection, tonal integration, contemporary American poetry, 2017 poetry, fragment poetics, aphoristic poetry

Read More
Sin Against Nature (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Sin Against Nature (ROUND 1)

"Sin Against Nature" is a poem about the logical self-destruction embedded in the slaveholder's racial ideology. Its argument is structural rather than polemical: if the enslaver's own framework held Black people to be subhuman — categorically animal, beneath the threshold of personhood — then sexual contact with them, by that same framework's internal logic, constitutes bestiality. The poem does not import this accusation from outside the slaveholder's worldview. It derives it from within, turning the master's own taxonomy against him with a precision that is the poem's central formal achievement.

The title establishes the argumentative field immediately. "Sin against nature" is the traditional theological and legal formulation for bestiality — the category of sexual transgression that violates the natural order by crossing species boundaries. The poem's entire operation consists of demonstrating that the slaveholder who dehumanized his enslaved people and then had sexual contact with them had, by his own definitions, committed exactly this sin. The theological vocabulary is not the speaker's imposition but the slaveholder's own — and it is the slaveholder's own logic that produces the indictment.

The sensory opening — "every nappy pit / tangy with yogurt fizz, sulfuric / like whopper onions walloped / with cumin" — is the poem's most deliberately provocative formal choice, and its provocation is structural rather than gratuitous. The description renders the Black body in terms of intense, complex, specific sensory experience: the smell of the armpit given as layered, fermenting, spiced, alive. This specificity is the argument before the argument is stated. A body this sensorially present, this particular in its organic complexity, is not an animal body in any meaningful taxonomy. The slaveholder who engaged with this body at this level of sensory intimacy — close enough to know these smells, to experience their layered specificity — was engaging with a fully human body, and the poem's olfactory precision is its evidence.

The third tercet delivers the poem's most devastating material. "Some even snowballing / the sin with clit-suckling devotion / and postcoital ear whispers" enumerates the specific sexual behaviors that compound the original sin by the slaveholder's own logic. "Snowballing" here carries its sexual meaning — the passing of fluid between partners — which places the enslaver in a relationship of mutual physical exchange rather than mere use. "Clit-suckling devotion" names an act of explicit attention to the enslaved woman's pleasure, a devotion that presupposes her capacity for pleasure and therefore her full sensory personhood. "Postcoital ear whispers" is the poem's most quietly devastating detail: the intimacy that follows sex, the private speech addressed to a specific person in a specific moment. These are not the behaviors of a man who believes he is with an animal. They are the behaviors of a man whose body knows what his ideology denies, and whose ideology is therefore revealed as a structure of motivated self-deception rather than sincere belief.

The poem's formal economy is remarkable. Three tercets, nine lines, and the entire architecture of American racial slavery's self-contradiction is exposed. The first tercet names the actors and the sensory field; the second delivers the logical indictment through the slaveholder's own vocabulary; the third specifies the behaviors that most completely demolish the ideological position. The enjambments are precise — "engaged, / by their own logic" places the qualifying phrase at maximum syntactic exposure, giving it the weight of a verdict — and the poem's diction moves without strain between the theological ("sin against nature," "bestiality") and the viscerally physical, holding both registers as equally serious, equally relevant to the argument being made.

What "Sin Against Nature" achieves in nine lines is the exposure of racial ideology as a structure that could not survive contact with its own practitioners' behavior — a system whose internal logic was daily violated by the people most invested in maintaining it, whose bodies knew the truth the system required them to deny.

Meta Description

A poem that turns the slaveholder's own dehumanizing racial taxonomy against him — arguing that if the enslaved were subhuman by the master's own logic, then sexual contact with them constituted bestiality by that same logic, with the specific intimacies of clit-suckling devotion and postcoital ear whispers compounding the self-indictment of a system whose practitioners' bodies daily violated its foundational claims.

Keywords

Sin Against Nature, slavery and sexual violence, bestiality and racial ideology, slaveholder self-contradiction, dehumanization logic, theological vocabulary poetry, postcoital intimacy slavery, sensory body poetry, racial taxonomy critique, contemporary American poetry, nine-line poem, tercet form, close reading, ideology and behavior, American slavery poetry

Read More
Gonzo Domestic Squabble (ROUND 2)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Gonzo Domestic Squabble (ROUND 2)

The revised "Gonzo Domestic Squabble" is not a refinement of the earlier version but a reconstitution of it — tighter, more sensorially precise, and more psychologically exact in ways that materially alter the poem's argument at several key points. Where the first version moved with considerable narrative clarity, this version operates closer to the speed of traumatic consciousness itself: associative, sudden, arriving at its meanings before the speaker has fully processed them. The revision earns its violence more completely because it grounds every escalation in a specific sensory memory rather than a general psychological claim.

The opening stanza's most significant revision is the reordering of the hyperarousal description. "That battery brine — my mouth knew the slaver of it, / retching, before I did" is a formulation the earlier version did not achieve: the body registering the conditioned response before consciousness catches up, the mouth filling with the taste of the old arousal before the mind has named what it is responding to. This sequence — body first, recognition second — is not merely more vivid than the earlier version's rendering; it is more psychologically accurate about how trauma-conditioned response actually operates, arriving below the threshold of volition and only afterward becoming available to reflection. The revision makes this temporal gap between somatic and cognitive recognition the poem's governing phenomenological structure.

"Like when my mom and men fought in a fuck coil / fecal with the piston of glucking fists, her shark eyes / dead to Teddy and me" advances considerably on the earlier "coil / fecal with fists." "Fuck coil" names explicitly what the first version approached more obliquely: the fighting and the sexuality are not merely adjacent but fused, the coil itself erotic as much as violent. "The piston of glucking fists" is the revision's most audacious sonic invention — "glucking" is onomatopoetically exact for the wet, rhythmic sound of repeated impact on flesh, and "piston" gives the violence a mechanical regularity that connects it to sexual rhythm. These are not separate registers being juxtaposed; they are a single motion described simultaneously in both vocabularies.

"The sugar of the verboten still locked in cookie jars" is the revision's most significant addition to the first stanza, and it changes the poem's psychological architecture. The image names what the child is excluded from: the "verboten" sweetness of the adult world, the erotic knowledge locked away from him, present in the room but inaccessible. The cookie jar is a precise domestic object for this exclusion — the classic childhood image of desired sweetness placed out of reach by adult authority. That this sweetness is "verboten" rather than simply unavailable suggests the child's awareness that what is happening in the coil is something he is not supposed to want access to — and that he wants it anyway. The line establishes the foundational structure of the speaker's psychology: desire for the forbidden thing, exclusion from it, and the longing to break into it that will drive the poem's subsequent action.

The second stanza's central revision is in the squirt passage. The earlier version read "Cock engorged, like it had been as squirt pelted / teddy and me with the sour musk of hot copper." The revision gives it as a single unpunctuated line: "Cock engorged, like it was when her squirt pelted Teddy and me with that salty musk of hot copper like we were no more than tarps in a cloudburst." The collapse of line breaks here is formally significant — the memory arrives as a rush, without the controlled enjambment of the earlier version, reproducing the involuntary quality of traumatic intrusion. The shift from "sour" to "salty" is a precision adjustment: salt is the more accurate sensory register for the taste and smell of female arousal, and the specificity signals the revision's general movement toward greater exactitude in its sensory claims.

The third stanza's most important revision arrives in the final lines. Where the earlier version gave "reckless like when I sucked / her nipple (a time travel back just like this now)," the revision expands and transforms: "reckless like when I dropped Teddy to suck her nipple / (warping back into gaga) as she blew again, lowing / like a cow in estrus." The addition of "dropped Teddy" is devastating in its specificity — the child releasing his transitional object, his comfort, his companion in nonagency, in order to access the maternal breast. The teddy bear has been present throughout the poem as the child's sole companion in exclusion; its being dropped in the moment of nipple access marks the transition from passive witness to participant, the child's first act of agency in the maternal sexual scene. "Warping back into gaga" names the regression this access produces — not a mature erotic encounter but a collapse back into infantile oral dependency, the adult speaker's consciousness briefly dissolved into the infant's. "Lowing / like a cow in estrus" is the revision's most precisely animal image for the mother's sexual vocalization — the sound placed in the register of reproductive biology rather than human expression, the mother's arousal rendered as species behavior rather than individual psychology.

What the revision achieves collectively is a poem in which the child's exclusion, longing, and eventual transgressive access to the maternal sexual scene are rendered with enough sensory specificity that the adult speaker's compulsion requires no additional psychological explanation. The air rifle, the edging pace, the homecoming prospect, the need for one body to annihilate the other — all of these are legible as direct repetitions of the original scene's specific structure: the child who was a nonagent, excluded from the forbidden sweetness, who dropped his only comfort to access the maternal body, who experienced arousal and violence and abandonment as a single event, now attempting to reconstruct that event in adult life with himself as agent rather than tarp. The revision makes the causal chain not merely plausible but inevitable — the reader arrives at "the girl sobbing like her" not as a revelation but as a recognition.

Meta Description

The revised "Gonzo Domestic Squabble" reconstitutes its predecessor with greater sensory precision and psychological exactitude — the body registering traumatic response before the mind catches up, the childhood coil rendered as explicitly erotic as well as violent, and the dropped teddy bear marking the child's first act of transgressive access to the maternal body whose loss and longing the adult speaker's compulsion endlessly attempts to repair.

Keywords

Gonzo Domestic Squabble revised, trauma repetition compulsion, maternal sexuality and violence, fuck coil, glucking fists, verboten desire, dropped teddy bear, nipple regression, cow in estrus, salty musk trauma, nonagent childhood, air rifle symbolism, somatic trauma response, body before mind, contemporary American poetry, close reading trauma poetics, revision and precision, erotic violence entanglement

Read More
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 90)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 90)

Part 90 is the most expansive installment of the 2017 sequence in both range and formal ambition, and its governing pressure is the question of category — the way human beings organize experience into containers that simultaneously reveal and distort what they hold. The sequence moves through biological, racial, institutional, sexual, economic, and aesthetic categories with equal skepticism, not to dissolve them into relativism but to expose the specific costs and evasions embedded in each act of classification. What accumulates across the installment's considerable length is an argument about how categories serve power — including the power of the categorizer over themselves, the self-protective work that naming and sorting performs for the person doing it.

The sequence's racial intelligence is at its most sustained and most complicated here, distributed across entries that refuse to settle into any predictable political alignment. "The black applying for membership in the Jewish country club" stages an encounter between two minority communities, each with its own history of exclusion, at the precise site where one community's achieved inclusion becomes another community's barrier. The image does not editorialize; it holds the structural irony without assigning blame. "Most factory farmers are not sadists, but neither were most slavers" is the sequence's most compressed historical-ethical argument — the parallel dismantles the defense of systemic cruelty by personal niceness, insisting that ordinary people operating ordinary systems can produce atrocity without requiring sadism as the explanatory mechanism. The final stanza's triptych — the base-head uncle's car speakers, the cotton-sun slaves chilling watermelon, the fire-lung Indian kids moon-bouncing along the swim-hole floor — holds three American racial histories in a single grammatical structure organized around the universal pleasures of music, coolness, and water, refusing both sentimentality and hierarchy. The sequence neither collapses these histories into sameness nor insists on their absolute incommensurability.

The installment's most politically pointed racial entry is the MLK and Hitler stanza: "the cringey air of chicanery in the thunderous speeches of performers: Hitler, MLK." The pairing will produce discomfort in almost any reader, and the poem is fully aware of this — the discomfort is the argument. By identifying both figures as performers whose thunder carries a "cringey air of chicanery," the poem is not equating their moral content but interrogating the rhetorical technology they share: the mass address, the performance of certainty, the crowd's suspension of critical distance in the presence of charisma. The poem insists that the analysis of oratorical technique cannot be foreclosed by the moral evaluation of the orator's cause — that the same critical tools must apply regardless of whether we approve of the destination the rhetoric serves. This is not moral equivalence but methodological consistency, and the discomfort the pairing produces is precisely the point: we are more willing to analyze the mechanics of persuasion when we disapprove of the persuader.

The transgender/transracial stanza — "embrace of transgenderism even as we reject transracialism" — returns to the category problem with direct philosophical economy. It identifies an inconsistency in the application of constructivist identity theory: if gender is a social construction that the individual can reject in favor of authentic self-determination, what principle distinguishes this from race as a social construction subject to the same individual authority? The poem does not argue for transracialism or against transgenderism. It notes that the theoretical frameworks applied to each case are selectively deployed, and that the selection itself reveals that something other than consistent principle is doing the work. The same observation appears in the "welcome, you faggots" stanza, which targets the progressive literary culture that restricts authorial identity to autobiographical material — "white-authors-can-only-write-white-characters era" — under the banner of progressive politics while enacting what the poem calls "recidivistic, insular, lonely" cultural retrenchment. "Trauma must be time-stamped and notarized before it can speak through us" is the stanza's sharpest formulation: a culture that requires credentials of suffering before granting the right to imaginative inhabitation of experience has converted empathy into bureaucracy.

The medical and institutional stanzas form their own coherent thread. "Doctors refuse to treat a man who wants to increase his manliness, / but the fuckers jump all over — as if their livelihoods and reputations / depended on it — treating a woman who wants to become a man" extends the transgender stanza's analysis into medical practice, where ideological alignment determines clinical availability in ways the profession does not acknowledge as ideological. "Operated on by a doctor, tempted — / by faith in the efficacy of prayer — / to rely on prayer over training" inverts the usual religious-versus-medical debate: the danger here is not the patient's faith but the doctor's, the professional whose training should be sufficient but who is tempted to substitute spiritual confidence for the competence their patient is paying for. "The violence of the chest compressions / at least reassure onlookers to the CPR / that paramedics did all they could" locates an inverse relationship between clinical effectiveness and social performance — the violence visible to witnesses serves a function distinct from its medical one, managing the grief of onlookers by providing visible evidence of effort.

The installment's most philosophically sustained entry is the trolley-problem variant: "would you rather kill a toddler — cliff-yeeted post anal-pump cum — and forget / (along with everyone else) that you did, or not kill it but spend the rest of your life / with the false memory that you did — sex sleeve murder-blur creampie included?" The grotesque sexual framing is the poem's deliberate contamination of the thought experiment's usual antiseptic conditions. Academic philosophy presents trolley problems in language designed to minimize visceral response and maximize abstract reasoning. By embedding the moral question in explicit sexual violence, the poem forces the reader to confront what philosophy's clean framing suppresses: that moral decisions occur in embodied, often squalid, always contextual human experience, and that the same question asked in different registers may not be the same question at all. The "sex sleeve murder-blur creampie included" is not gratuitous but argumentative — it insists that the phenomenological reality of the act cannot be abstracted away without changing the ethical question being posed.

The depression cluster achieves a sustained psychological precision distributed across several entries. "Mistaking comprehensive depression / for a stroke, unable to pull yourself / out of bed after the usual energy reset" names the specific somatic presentation of severe depression that mimics neurological event — the body so thoroughly arrested that its owner searches for physical explanation because the psychological one feels insufficient to account for the degree of incapacitation. "Savoring a depressive episode, as one / savors a flu, in that it gives an excuse / to take time away from responsibility" follows, without contradiction, as a complementary observation: the same condition that disables can also, in its permission to withdraw, provide something the ordinary structure of obligation never permits. The ambivalence is not hypocrisy but psychological accuracy — the episode is simultaneously genuine suffering and genuine relief, and the poem refuses to rank these experiences or require that one cancel the other.

"Longing for societal collapse, perhaps less from a drive / to die (and kill along the way), and more from a drive / to live what we sense will be lives of purpose and care" is the installment's most surprising and most generous political observation. It reframes apocalypticism not as nihilism or death-drive but as a distorted expression of the hunger for meaningful existence — the suspicion that purpose and genuine community are more available in crisis than in the administered comfort of late capitalism. The poem takes this longing seriously without endorsing its object, which is the sequence's characteristic move: the feeling is real and worth understanding even when the solution it gestures toward is catastrophic.

The final stanzas concentrate the installment's formal energy into a series of images that hold tenderness and precision in equal measure. "The face of one in love — cozy in posture / with a slight smile — viewing back the one / whom she knows to be viewing her in love" is the sequence's most purely observational entry, rendering the specific phenomenology of mutual recognition in love with a care that has no ironic distance. "With their having lived so long with someone that special, / you almost want to tell the grieving family 'Congratulations' / instead of the 'I'm sorry for your loss' drawn from your lips" inverts the grammar of condolence into an acknowledgment that long love is an achievement — that the grief measures something worth measuring. These entries are not anomalies in the sequence's satirical register but its necessary counterweight: the hive's full range includes this.

Formally, Part 90's length and density create a cumulative pressure unlike the earlier installments — the sheer accumulation of categories examined, each in its own compressed space, produces an experience of cognitive saturation that is itself the argument. The reader cannot hold all of it simultaneously, cannot maintain a consistent critical distance across the sequence's full range, and this inability is precisely what the poem is producing: the condition of living inside the hive rather than observing it from outside.

Meta Description

The fourth 2017 installment of the mosaic poem — its most expansive and formally ambitious — pursues the question of category across racial history, medical ideology, progressive literary politics, depression, trolley-problem philosophy, and the grammar of condolence, arguing that every act of classification serves the classifier's needs as much as it describes its object, and that methodological consistency is the one demand the culture most reliably refuses to meet.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, category and power, transracialism transgenderism, MLK Hitler oratory, factory farming and slavery, progressive literary politics, trauma and authorship, depression phenomenology, societal collapse, trolley problem philosophy, medical ideology, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, racial history poetry, condolence and grief, cognitive saturation, fragment poetics

Read More
Gonzo Domestic Squabble (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Gonzo Domestic Squabble (ROUND 1)

"Gonzo Domestic Squabble" is a poem about the eroticization of violence as trauma-repetition compulsion — specifically, about how childhood exposure to a mother's sexual arousal within domestic violence can wire desire, aggression, and the desperate need for existence-confirmation into a single circuit that activates involuntarily in adulthood when the right stimuli reappear. The poem is narrated in the first person with a clinical self-awareness that neither exculpates nor performs remorse, tracing the speaker's escalating intervention in a stranger couple's drunken fight through the precise psychological mechanism driving it: the need to matter to people who are destroying each other, because mattering to people destroying each other was the only form of significance available in childhood.

The title's "gonzo" does precise tonal work before the poem begins. In journalism, gonzo designates a mode in which the reporter abandons objectivity and becomes a participant in the events being covered, the observer's presence inseparable from the story's unfolding. "Domestic squabble" is the bureaucratic diminishment — the police report's language for what may be, and here is, considerably more. The compound title stages the poem's central formal tension: a speaker who is both witness and participant, whose narration is simultaneously confessional and analytical, neither fully inside the experience nor safely outside it.

The opening movement establishes what the speaker names with remarkable precision as "helpless hyperarousal" — the physiological response to witnessed violence that he identifies immediately as something not felt in years, something belonging to childhood. The key word is "helpless": the arousal is not chosen, not welcomed, not a preference but a conditioned response activating below the level of volition. "Sweet" follows immediately, and this is the poem's first and most important tonal risk — the speaker acknowledges the pleasure component without defending it or performing guilt. The "nauseous slaver" that qualifies it holds both registers simultaneously: the sweet and the nauseating are not sequential but concurrent, the same sensation carrying both valences at once. Trauma-conditioned arousal does not resolve into a single feeling. It arrives as contradiction.

The poem's central psychological argument is delivered in the first stanza's closing lines, where the speaker traces the current hyperarousal back to its origin: "like when my mom and men fought in a coil / fecal with fists, shark eyes of gag groans dead / to me and teddy — as far as a child could know." The "coil / fecal with fists" renders the childhood scene with visceral compression — the bodies entangled, the violence intimate and squalid simultaneously. "Shark eyes of gag groans dead / to me and teddy" is the stanza's most important formulation: the fighting adults' eyes are absent, dissociated, their sounds involuntary rather than communicative, their attention entirely foreclosed to the child watching. The child and his teddy bear are equally irrelevant to the coil's participants.

"A nonagent, less than zero, I felt" names the wound that the poem's subsequent violence attempts to address. The child who was invisible to fighting adults becomes the adult who needs to intervene in strangers' violence — not to stop it, but to become visible within it, to achieve through intervention the significance that childhood denied him. The poem makes this explicit: "my need to add / extra fury into the fight was an ache righteous / because I mattered nothing to them." The righteousness is not moral but structural — the justice of the person owed significance and never receiving it, now inserting himself by force into the nearest available approximation of the original scene.

The air rifle is the poem's central symbol, and its handling is exact throughout. The speaker pumps it "at an edging pace" — the sexual register of "edging" is not incidental but constitutive, the weapon's preparation and the sexual arousal running in parallel circuits the poem refuses to separate. "I bore / a hole in the screen for its tip to retake control" makes the penetrative logic explicit while "retake control" names the psychological function: the child who had no control over the violent coil now inserts an instrument of agency into a new version of that scene.

The second stanza's most devastating formulation is the "homecoming prospect" — the possibility that intervention might make one body annihilate the other, providing "clear proof / as to whom mastery belongs." What the speaker seeks is not the woman's safety, not justice, not the cessation of violence, but resolution: the determination of a winner in the contest the childhood coil never resolved. The adult speaker attempts to force an outcome, to make the tournament yield a legible verdict, to become the agent of the resolution he was denied as a child watching from the position of total irrelevance.

"Cock engorged, like it was when her squirt pelted / teddy and me with that sour musk of hot copper /like we were no more than tarps in a cloudburst" is the poem's most explicit and most consequential rendering of the originating wound. The fluid is the mother's — her squirt, her sexual discharge produced within the violent encounter — and this is the detail that determines everything about the erotic circuit the poem maps. The child is not merely witnessing violence; he is being physically contacted by his mother's arousal as it occurs within that violence. Her body's sexual response and the violence are inseparable events, simultaneous and entangled, and the child absorbs both at once. "Sour musk of hot copper" is exact in its sensory register — the smell of female arousal rendered as metallic and organic simultaneously — and "like we were no more than tarps in a cloudburst" completes the nonagent formulation: the child and the teddy bear are passive surfaces receiving what falls on them, equally irrelevant to the storm producing it.

This is the poem's most disturbing psychological argument, and it is made with precision rather than sensationalism: what the speaker carries into adulthood is not a generalized arousal-violence circuit but a specific one, conditioned by the mother's own desire within the coil. Her squirt is the sensory signature of a scene in which maternal sexuality and violence are not merely adjacent but fused — and the adult speaker's compulsion, cock engorged at the sight of a couple fighting, is a repetition of the specific entanglement deposited in childhood. The arousal is not attracted to violence in the abstract; it is attracted to the specific combination of female body and physical struggle that first activated it.

The nipple memory — "reckless like when I sucked / her nipple (a time travel back just like this now)" — extends the maternal erotic dimension without elaborating it. The parenthetical structure places it as an intrusion, a memory arriving unbidden within the escalating present action, and "a time travel back just like this now" names the structure of traumatic repetition that the entire poem embodies: the present is always simultaneously the past, the adult body always inhabiting the child's position in the original scene. The nipple is the mother's; its appearance here, adjacent to the rifle barrel penetrating the screen, maps the specific geometry of the speaker's wound.

The third stanza's escalation — fourth shot, fifth shot, "no longer / caring to cover my noise or the mirror it formed" — shows the speaker past concealment. "The mirror it formed" is crucial: the noise of intervention mirrors back the noise of childhood violence, and the mirroring is part of the compulsion's satisfaction. He is constructing a sonic environment that resembles the original closely enough to feel like homecoming. "My soul, my cock, needed him to forget her need / to breathe" joins soul and cock as a single subject — the totality of the speaker's being organized around the desire for the man's dominance, conditioned by scenes in which male dominance over the mother was the context of her arousal and therefore of the child's first erotic education.

The poem's final image — "the girl sobbing like her" — closes the circuit the entire poem has been drawing. "Her" is the mother. The woman on the ground, sobbing after being punched and dragged by the hair, has become the mother in the speaker's perception. The homecoming is complete and catastrophic. The speaker has successfully recreated the original scene, inserted himself into it as an agent rather than a nonagent, and arrived back at the image of the woman left behind — which is also, always, what he was left with as a child.

Formally, the three sixteen-line stanzas create an architecture of escalation that mirrors the speaker's psychological progression: witness, participant, confessor. The enjambments consistently defer and then deliver the most psychologically loaded terms — "sweet," "righteous," "her need / to breathe" — so that the line break creates momentary suspension before the word arrives that changes the valence of what preceded it. The diction moves between clinical precision, sensory exactitude, and vernacular directness, creating the texture of a consciousness capable of analyzing its own compulsions with accuracy while remaining fully inside them.

What "Gonzo Domestic Squabble" achieves is a first-person account of traumatic repetition-compulsion that neither condemns nor excuses its speaker, neither aestheticizes the violence nor sanitizes the psychology driving it. The refusal to separate the child's wound from the adult's action, the arousal from the aggression, the mother's sexuality from the violence that surrounded it — this is the poem's deepest formal commitment. The speaker is fully implicated and fully explained, rendered comprehensible in a way that makes the reader's comfortable distance from his psychology increasingly difficult to maintain.

Meta Description

A poem tracing a speaker's escalating intervention in a stranger couple's fight back to its origin in childhood exposure to the mother's sexual arousal within domestic violence — mapping how the entanglement of maternal desire and physical struggle deposits a specific erotic circuit that activates involuntarily in adulthood, driving the adult nonagent's compulsion to insert himself into violence as a bid for the significance childhood denied him.

Keywords

Gonzo Domestic Squabble, trauma repetition compulsion, maternal sexuality and violence, domestic violence poetry, hyperarousal and trauma, childhood exposure violence, eroticization of violence, nonagent childhood, air rifle symbolism, first-person confessional poetry, gonzo narration, maternal erotic trauma, significance and invisibility, squirt and trauma, contemporary American poetry, close reading trauma poetics

Read More
Clinical Excommunication (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Clinical Excommunication (ROUND 1)

"Clinical Excommunication" is a poem about the coercive grammar of therapeutic and institutional interpretation — the way certain professional frameworks demand a particular kind of self-disclosure, and penalize those who withhold it not by engaging with their refusal but by converting it into a diagnostic category. Its nine lines move through three tercets with comic precision, deploying two extended analogies before arriving at the clinical notation that retroactively names what the speaker's resistance has been classified as. The poem's argument is compressed into its title: excommunication is a religious act, the formal expulsion of a member who has failed to conform to doctrinal requirement. The clinical setting, the poem insists, performs the same operation under different vocabulary.

The governing analogy structure — psychoanalyst, Pentecostal revival, mall hypnotist — is the poem's central formal achievement. Each figure represents a system that requires the subject's surrender as proof of the system's validity. The psychoanalyst needs the mommy-daddy answers: the stock narrative of parental origination that confirms the theoretical framework before the session has properly begun. The Pentecostal reverend — "Reverend Sho'Nuff," whose name carries its own freight of performative authority — needs the congregant to fall under the holy-ghost hand, to drop as physical evidence of the spirit's presence. The mall hypnotist needs the subject to bark, to perform the loss of autonomous will that justifies the whole enterprise. In each case, the subject's non-compliance is not interpreted as evidence that the system may be limited or wrong. It is interpreted as evidence that the subject is deficient — a "spoilsport," a resistant case, a pathology.

"Reverend Sho'Nuff" is doing more than comic work. The name evokes the villain of the 1985 martial-arts film "The Last Dragon," a figure of theatrical self-proclaimed authority — "the master" — whose power depends entirely on others' willingness to recognize it. Applied to the Pentecostal revival context, the name quietly argues that the revival's spiritual authority and the villain's martial authority operate by the same logic: both require the crowd's performed submission to sustain the performance of power. The speaker who does not drop is not failing spiritually; they are declining to participate in a theater that requires their body as a prop.

The mall hypnotist comparison is the poem's most democratizing move. By placing the psychoanalyst in a sequence that runs through a Pentecostal revival to a mall hypnotist, the poem performs a deliberate bathos — a descent in cultural register that is also an argument about structural equivalence. The psychoanalyst operates in the most credentialed and theoretically elaborated of the three frameworks; the mall hypnotist operates in the least. But the demand each makes on the subject is identical: surrender your autonomous interpretive authority, perform the response the system requires, and thereby validate the system's power. The poem does not argue that psychoanalysis is as intellectually thin as mall hypnosis. It argues that the specific demand for compliance, and the specific penalty for non-compliance, are structurally the same across all three.

The poem's punchline — "and so / the notepad scribble: 'sev antisoc.'" — is where the argument lands with its full weight. The abbreviation performs the excommunication: "severe antisocial" rendered in the shorthand of clinical documentation, a notation made not because the speaker has displayed antisocial behavior in any meaningful sense but because they have declined to provide the responses that the framework requires. The "notepad scribble" is the clinical equivalent of the excommunication document — the formal record of failed compliance, converted into a diagnosis. That it is a scribble matters: this is not careful clinical observation but the quick notation of professional irritation, the diagnostic category deployed as punishment for the subject's refusal to be legible in the expected way.

The title's "excommunication" holds the poem's deepest irony. Excommunication is supposed to name a genuine breach — a heresy, a departure from the community's essential doctrine. What the poem exposes is that the breach here is not doctrinal but procedural: the speaker has not denied the validity of psychology or the existence of childhood influence, has simply declined to produce the expected narrative on demand. The clinical framework, like the religious one, cannot distinguish between genuine dissent and the refusal to perform. Both get the same notation.

Formally, the three tercets mirror the three analogies with elegant economy. Each tercet introduces a figure of institutional authority and the specific performance that figure demands, building a cumulative case before the final tercet delivers the verdict. The enjambment is precise — "and so" at the opening of the final tercet functions as a logical connective, the conclusion of an argument the poem has been building, before "the notepad scribble" arrives as the punchline that is also a diagnosis. The colon before the quoted notation gives it the weight of evidence — this is the record, the document, the excommunication made legible in four characters of clinical abbreviation.

Meta Description

A poem about the coercive compliance structures of psychoanalysis, Pentecostal revival, and mall hypnosis — arguing that each demands the subject's performed surrender as proof of the system's validity, and converts non-compliance not into evidence of the system's limits but into a diagnostic category, rendering clinical notation as a form of institutional excommunication.

Keywords

Clinical Excommunication, psychoanalysis critique, institutional compliance, antisocial diagnosis, Pentecostal revival poetry, mall hypnotist, therapeutic framework, diagnostic coercion, excommunication metaphor, contemporary American poetry, comic poetry, tercet form, clinical notation, performed surrender, heresy and diagnosis

Read More
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 89)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 89)

Part 89 is the most politically volatile and formally restless installment of the 2017 sequence, and its governing pressure is the question of complicity — who is implicated in what, how deeply, and whether the implication can be escaped through good intentions, political alignment, or moral self-identification. The sequence returns obsessively to the figure of the person who believes themselves exempt from the systems they inhabit, and it pursues this figure across registers that range from the geopolitical to the sexual to the domestic, refusing to grant any zone of experience the status of clean ground.

The drone stanza — "the nerds now do the killing — via drones" — establishes this pressure immediately. It names a specific historical transformation in the relationship between violence and its agents: the physical removal of the killer from the act of killing, the conversion of warfare into a form of remote technical labor performed by people who would not conventionally be understood as warriors. The "nerds" designation is not contemptuous but precise — it names the class of people whose skills now do what muscles and proximity once did, and whose distance from the act's consequences is the condition of their employment. This connects directly to an earlier installment's observation that "internet to bully, drones to strike — technology severs us from consequences of our actions that otherwise would have ruined sleep." Part 89 compresses that argument into a single image and moves on, trusting the reader to hold its weight across the sequence's subsequent range.

The poem's treatment of sexual experience is characteristically unsparing and characteristically exact. "Play-acting drunk, in a cash-only pinch, because sober sex is too serious" and its later companion "play-acting drunk because who rides a stranger rubberless on the last train home?" and the third iteration involving the mother form a triptych that accumulates into something more than a series of sexual vignettes. Each deployment of the drunk performance serves a different psychological function — the first is about the unbearable weight of full mutual presence in sex; the second is about the permission structure required for genuinely risky behavior; the third is about the protection of a parent from knowledge of her child's sexual life, and the child's performance of innocence as a form of filial care. Together they argue that performed intoxication is a social technology for managing the exposure that genuine encounter requires — a way of creating deniability, distance, and permission simultaneously. That the same performance serves such different functions across such different contexts is itself the observation.

The whore stanza — "the whore dozing mid vanilla fuck, you only lengthen the ordeal / by feeling bad about how long you are taking — either tuck her in / or choke your way into the dehumanization that gets everyone off" — is among the sequence's most deliberately uncomfortable, and its discomfort is structured rather than gratuitous. The stanza addresses the client directly, which is already an unusual move. Its argument is that guilt, in this context, is not a moral corrective but an indulgence — that the client who feels bad about the worker's dissociation is centering his own feeling rather than attending to her situation. "Tuck her in" and "choke your way into the dehumanization that gets everyone off" are offered as alternatives without editorial ranking, which is the stanza's most provocative formal choice. The poem is not endorsing the second option; it is noting that the guilty paralysis of the first is also a form of selfishness, and that the liberal discomfort that produces it is not as morally superior as it presents itself.

The sofa blanket stanza — "the moral alibi of a sofa blanket as you beat off next to the peekaboo toddler" — returns to the setting and logic of "Rectal Raiders Volume 3" in compressed aphoristic form. "Moral alibi" is the exact phrase for what the blanket performs: not protection but the appearance of protection, a gesture toward decency that satisfies the adult's need to believe he is not doing what he is doing. The word "peekaboo" is devastating — a game of concealment and revelation that is also the structure of the blanket's failure. The child sees, or senses, or hears through the alibi. The alibi is for the adult, not the child.

The sequence's political stanzas achieve their sharpest formulation in the racism-and-speech trap: "to fail to use your nonX platform of privilege to speak against racism against X people / is itself racism, and yet to speak too loudly is to elevate your own voice over X-people / as if — in an appalling display of racism — you feel you have the right to speak for them." This is the poem's most precise rendering of a genuine double-bind that operates in progressive political discourse — the structure in which any position available to the non-X person is pre-interpreted as racist, silence and speech alike. The poem does not resolve the bind or mock those caught in it. It describes the bind's architecture with the neutrality of a diagram, which is its own form of critique: a political culture that generates irresolvable double-binds for its own participants is not a culture successfully addressing the problem it claims to address.

"Even white male babies have as much value as crippled black ones — it is just a fad" and "before you shoot up whole theaters on the slide to suicide, remember it is just a fad" deploy the same rhetorical structure across very different targets. "It is just a fad" applied to the mass shooting impulse is the sequence's most provocative and most psychologically serious political stanza. It refuses the usual frameworks — mental illness, gun access, ideological radicalization — in favor of a sociological claim: that mass violence has acquired the structure of a trend, complete with the mimetic transmission, the cultural moment, and the eventual exhaustion that the word "fad" implies. This is not dismissal but diagnosis. The poem is arguing that the spread of mass shooting follows cultural logic as much as psychological logic, and that understanding it as a fad — however uncomfortable that framing — may be more analytically accurate than the frameworks that treat each event as isolated pathology.

"What will the rest of us miss if you do not die?" is the sequence's most vertiginous rhetorical reversal. It takes the conventional suicide-prevention question — what will you miss if you die? — and inverts its address and its content. The question is asked of the potential survivor by the community, and it asks not about the survivor's losses but about the community's. This risks being read as callous, but the poem's intelligence lies elsewhere: the inversion forces the reader to confront the social dimensions of individual dying, to ask whether the framework of suicide prevention has been too exclusively focused on the individual's future experience and insufficiently focused on the relational fabric that both motivates staying and is damaged by leaving. The question is uncomfortable because it is genuine.

The dying-and-medicine cluster extends the sequence's sustained argument about mortality management. "The medical prolongation of dying now a norm that would buoy Goebbels" is the sequence's most extreme formulation of this argument — invoking the Nazi propaganda minister not to equate modern medicine with Nazi ideology but to name the specific feature they share: the management of dying populations according to administrative rather than human logic. "If labor is entrenched as unendurable when epidurals become the norm, imagine what happens with death / when physician-assisted suicide becomes the norm" makes a structurally parallel argument: that medical normalization of pain relief at birth has raised the threshold of tolerable suffering in ways that have cultural consequences, and that the normalization of assisted dying will perform a similar recalibration — with implications the poem does not fully specify but gestures toward with the epidural comparison.

"However noble the activities, escaping / into them does not change that you are / complicit in the family's disintegration" is the stanza that most directly names the sequence's governing theme. Complicity is not canceled by virtue. The goodness of the escape does not change what is being escaped from or what the escape costs. This applies equally to the drone operator whose technical skill is noble in its precision, the client who feels bad about the sex worker's dissociation, the parent who performs innocence for the family's breakfast table, the political actor who navigates the speech double-bind with good faith. The sequence argues, cumulatively, that complicity is the structural condition of contemporary life — not an aberration to be corrected but the water everyone swims in, and that the primary work of moral seriousness is not to escape it but to see it clearly.

The sequence closes on two images that bracket each other with precision. "Awed humble before Mt. Fuji / when above us the whole time / was that colossal void of black" performs a classic sublime reversal: the object of awe is the wrong scale, directed at the wrong object, missing the genuine immensity directly overhead. And "needier for your attention / the more absorbed you are / in what fails to involve them" closes on the most intimate and most ordinary version of the sequence's central argument: that the systems of attention through which we organize our lives consistently misfire, directing care and presence toward the wrong objects while the genuinely present — the person beside you, the void above you — goes unmet. The sequence ends not with resolution but with this image of misdirected attention, which is both its final observation and its final form of self-description.

Meta Description

The third 2017 installment of the mosaic poem presses its aphoristic method into its most politically volatile territory — pursuing the question of complicity across drone warfare, sexual economics, progressive double-binds, mass shooting as cultural fad, and the normalization of medically managed dying, while insisting that good intentions and noble activities leave the structural conditions of implication intact.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, complicity poetry, drone warfare, play-acting drunk, sofa blanket moral alibi, speech double-bind racism, mass shooting as fad, physician-assisted suicide, epidural normalization, dying literacy, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, progressive politics critique, sexual economics poetry, misdirected attention, Mt Fuji sublime, fragment poetics

Read More
Rectal Raiders Volume 3 (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Rectal Raiders Volume 3 (ROUND 1)

"Rectal Raiders Volume 3" is a poem about the formation of erotic knowledge through coerced sensory exposure, and about the specific permanence of what is deposited in a child's sensorium before she has the vocabulary to name it. Its nine lines move through three tercets with lyric compression and psychological precision, arriving at a girl alone at night, involuntarily aroused by the smell of semen — a scent permanently rewired into erotic trigger by early proximity she did not choose — cursing the buttery aromas she cannot help but respond to.

The title does substantial work before the first line begins. "Rectal Raiders Volume 3" is a pornographic DVD title — anatomically blunt, serialized as commodity, numbered in a franchise entirely indifferent to who might find these volumes and what might happen to them in an ordinary household. Its bathos is not incidental. The poem insists, through the title, that the object shaping this child's earliest erotic cognition is exactly this object: graceless, mass-produced, one in a series. The comedy of the title and the damage of the poem are not in tension. They are the same argument.

The "third dad" is the poem's most structurally loaded detail. Not a father but a third father — a serial domestic presence, temporary, carrying his habits and carelessness into a household not originally his. His act of putting the girl's head under the sofa blanket while he masturbates to pornography is a concealment that functions entirely as exposure. The blanket blocks the visual; it cannot block the acoustic or the olfactory. What passes through the blanket — "spit strokes clicking," his mounting arousal, and finally the moment of climax — is everything the poem is actually about. The blanket is a moral alibi that the poem does not dignify with refutation. It simply describes what the blanket cannot contain.

The second tercet's syntax is the poem's most precise instrument. "She knew — before / any starlet told her to smack / the balls in her vision — his moans": the dash suspends the sentence at the threshold of what she already knew, before instruction arrived. The starlet's pedagogical function — providing the cultural script for what to do with aroused male bodies — comes after the imprinting, as a belated label for knowledge already lodged. What she knew first was acoustic: the specific sound of his moans. She could identify male arousal before she had the vocabulary for it. This is exactly how erotic imprinting operates under conditions of exposure rather than instruction — the knowledge arrives sensorially and lodges before it can be processed or refused.

The poem's final movement is its most compressed and most devastating. His moans at climax — the same moans she already knew — curse forth the semen smell: the profanity of climax and the release of ejaculate are simultaneous, the cursing and the bread aromas issuing from the same moment. The ellipsis the poem performs here is syntactic daring: moaning, cursing, and ejaculating collapse into a single event, the blanket failing to contain any of it. And what that moment deposits in her is permanent. Later, alone at night, the buttery aromas arrive unbidden in ordinary life and activate the same response — she curses them because they come for her without her consent, because the Pavlovian linkage was written into her sensorium in conditions she did not choose and cannot now undo. That she swirls herself to the DVD alone, privately, reflexively, shows the imprinting fully internalized: the external deposit has become her own involuntary inner life.

The aloneness of the final image is the poem's last and most significant pressure point. The third dad is gone. The blanket is gone. What remains is a girl in the dark, in full possession of a desire that was never fully hers to begin with, cursing a smell that will not stop telling her what she was taught before she was old enough to be taught anything.

Formally, the three tercets enact a causal sequence — adult behavior, child's prior knowledge, child's subsequent solitary life with that knowledge — while the number three recurs structurally as a principle of accumulation: three tercets, three dads, Volume 3. The serialization implied by that number refuses to frame this as singular incident. It is pattern, franchise, the nth installment of something that has been running long before the poem begins.

Meta Description

A poem about erotic imprinting through coerced sensory exposure — tracing how a child's desire is formed beneath a sofa blanket by a stepfather's pornography use, the moans of his climax cursing forth a semen smell that becomes a permanent involuntary trigger, deposited before she had the vocabulary to refuse it.

Keywords

Rectal Raiders Volume 3, erotic imprinting, coerced sensory exposure, stepfather negligence, pornography and childhood, olfactory association, involuntary arousal, Pavlovian conditioning poetry, climax and profanity, ellipsis poetics, tercet form, contemporary lyric, domestic negligence, semen smell association, close reading contemporary poem

Read More
Fuckbot Errands (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Fuckbot Errands (ROUND 1)

“Fuckbot Errands” is a miniature poem about aesthetic self-modification under conditions of technological mediation. Its apparent subject is cosmetic contouring, but its deeper concern is the erosion of embodied reality by image culture. The poem asks a deceptively simple question: if a beauty practice already appears uncanny on a screen, what happens when that same aesthetic enters ordinary physical space? Beneath its humor lies a philosophical meditation on simulation, representation, and the increasing inability of contemporary culture to distinguish enhancement from deformation.

The poem begins with startling compression: “Two lines of fecal taupe to chisel / the cheeks of the porky podcaster.” The phrase “fecal taupe” immediately sabotages the glamour of contour makeup. Rather than invoking the language of fashion or beauty, the poem reduces the cosmetic product to an earthy, bodily substance. The choice is strategic. Contouring promises sculptural refinement—the creation of shadows where none naturally exist—but the poem insists on the material absurdity of the process. The face becomes something worked upon, artificially carved into a more desirable shape.

Yet the target is not merely an individual woman. The figure of the “porky podcaster” represents a broader cultural condition. She is someone whose existence is mediated through cameras, screens, and self-presentation. The contour lines are not being applied to a face encountered directly by others. They are being applied to an image-producing machine. This distinction is crucial. The poem is less interested in vanity than in the strange feedback loop whereby people increasingly modify themselves for technological reproduction rather than for face-to-face human perception.

The parenthetical interruption—“(normalized clown / insanity like overdrawn lips, / like Botox)”—broadens the critique. The phrase “normalized clown insanity” is not simply an insult. It names a process by which visibly artificial practices become culturally invisible through repetition. Clowns traditionally exaggerate facial features into caricature. Yet the poem suggests that contemporary beauty culture has rendered analogous exaggerations ordinary. Overdrawn lips and Botox are presented not as isolated phenomena but as examples of a larger aesthetic logic: the pursuit of enhancement until enhancement itself becomes distortion.

Importantly, the poem's criticism is not directed at individuals so much as at collective perception. The key word is “normalized.” The problem is not that people engage in artificial modification. Humans have always done so. The problem is that repeated exposure alters the standards by which reality itself is judged. What once appeared grotesque gradually comes to seem natural.

The poem reaches its philosophical center in the final question: “if these, too stiff / for true shadows, make her / a cadaver even on YouTube, / what must they do hovering / in the aisles of Trader Joes?” The movement from YouTube to Trader Joe’s is essential. It marks a shift from mediated space to physical space. On screen, contouring can succeed because cameras flatten depth and convert faces into images. But the poem asks readers to imagine the same cosmetic construction encountered in ordinary life.

The phrase “too stiff for true shadows” is especially incisive. Contouring attempts to imitate natural shadow, yet the imitation lacks the fluidity of actual light. The cosmetic shadow is static where real shadow is dynamic. It remains fixed despite movement, expression, or changing illumination. The result is a subtle uncanniness. The face begins to resemble not a living body but a representation of one.

This culminates in the image of the “cadaver.” The comparison works because the poem identifies a paradox at the heart of cosmetic enhancement culture. Practices intended to create vitality, youthfulness, and attractiveness can, beyond a certain threshold, produce the opposite effect. The pursuit of animation risks generating lifelessness. The pursuit of beauty risks producing something mask-like.

What gives the poem its force is its economy. In only a handful of lines, it compresses questions of simulation, beauty standards, technological mediation, and collective perception. The humor is sharp, but it serves a larger philosophical purpose. “Fuckbot Errands” ultimately suggests that modern aesthetic culture increasingly asks people to optimize themselves for screens, even when those optimizations become unsettling in the physical world. The poem's final image leaves us with a quietly disturbing possibility: that we have become so accustomed to artificial faces on screens that we no longer notice how strange they appear when encountered among groceries, fluorescent lights, and ordinary human life.

Meta Description

A satirical and philosophical poem about contour makeup, digital self-presentation, beauty culture, simulation, and the uncanny gap between screen-optimized appearance and embodied reality.

Keywords

Fuckbot Errands, beauty culture, contour makeup, cosmetic enhancement, simulation, digital identity, body image, social media aesthetics, Botox culture, uncanny valley, mediated reality, image culture, contemporary poetry, philosophical poetry, satire, embodiment, artificial beauty, screen culture, hyperreality, aesthetic

Read More
Pumps and a Bump (ROUND 9)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Pumps and a Bump (ROUND 9)

The Pathology of the Absolute: Somatic Desecration and Cosmic Absurdity in Pumps and a Bump

Introduction: The Literariness of the Grotesque

The text titled Pumps and a Bump stands within the transgressive literary lineage of authors like Vladimir Nabokov, Thomas Pynchon, and David Foster Wallace. It functions as a dense, claustrophobic anatomical-philosophical critique of the predator’s interiority. Rather than indulging in the pornographic or the merely sensational—vulgar forms that rely on the exploitation or objectification of the victim—the narrative directs its hyper-stylized lens entirely toward the somatic, neurological, and metaphysical machinery of the perpetrator, Dr. James.

The aesthetic worth of the piece lies in its rigorous execution of a formal counterbalance: the deployment of a high-bourgeois, medicalized, and philosophical vocabulary (pulpotomy, threnody, lordotic, archē) to map an act of absolute moral and physical degradation. This friction produces an alienation effect (Verfremdungseffekt) that prevents the reader from experiencing either cheap titillation or simple moral superiority. Instead, it forces a direct confrontation with the cold, hyper-rationalized compartmentalization that characterizes structural human depravity.

I. The Somatic Pressure Cooker: Edging as Teleological Madness

The structural spine of the narrative is formatted as an ironic, inverted ascetic countdown. Over a two-week period, Dr. James engages in a forced retention—a "no-fap fast"—not for spiritual purification, but to maximize the kinetic velocity and sensory payload of a premeditated sexual assault. The text systematically charts the physical toll of this retention through a prose style that treats the human body as an over-engineered, failing hydraulic system.

The progression moves rigorously from a two-week kegel lockdown into acute anatomical engorgement (marked by prostate swell and heavy mucilage), before finally collapsing into total somatic failure at the moment of release.

The author’s choice of descriptors, particularly the use of "backlog okra slime" and "gelatinous sharts," serves a critical narrative purpose. By utilizing the specific fluid dynamics of non-Newtonian, shear-thinning substances—the ropey, tenacious viscosity of okra and aloe—the text strips the character of any phallic, predatory dignity. He is not depicted as a powerful, dominant victimizer; he is reduced to a leaking, clogged animal, scuttling through his own clinic like a "humanoid crab."

The body here becomes a site of involuntary treason. The "rectum kicked into overdrive by the sheer structural weight of a prostate at the physiological limit of its own swell" indicates that his pathology is not merely psychological, but a totalizing somatic madness. The mechanical language throughout ("the release of the overwound spring," "captive bolt hellbent on veal") underscores a theme of terrifying determinism: the predator has surrendered his humanity to become an automated, biological delivery device.

II. The Completionist Intellect: The Mechanics of Post-Pop Dissociation

One of the most academically compelling dimensions of Pumps and a Bump is its chilling depiction of post-coital dissociation and the subsequent frenzy of clinical sanitization. A split second after the "ballistic bluster" of his release, the protagonist shifts instantly from a state of raw, unhinged animalism to a state of hyper-rationalized, meticulous compliance with the clock.

This sudden frantic rush to clean what just milliseconds before the man would have obliterated his family and reputation to soil highlights the absolute core of the psychopathic or highly compartmentalized mind. The text refers to this as a "completionism sufficient all by itself for an autism diagnosis," objectifying the act of cleanup into a symbolic "clean slate." The mechanical use of the spit-sucker to clear the patient's throat is an act of cold utility driven by the fear of "aspiration pneumonia" and previous "gulp-worthy inquiries."

This creates a stark, dualistic split between the reckoning and the sanitization. On one side, you have violent pelvic pumping, subliterate DDLG whispers, and an absolute biological surrender. On the other side, milliseconds later, you have precise spit-sucker utility, intricate medical rationales, and an intensely hypervigilant legal awareness.

By stripping his own urethra clear "like it was an IV tube," Dr. James attempts to erase the data of his crime, turning his clinical expertise into an instrument of forensic counter-measures. The text brilliantly highlights the supreme irony of his existence: he subverts the very tools and framed diplomas meant for healing in order to execute and then scrub an act of pure predation.

III. The Metaphysical Leap: From "Spunk" to Archē

The true literary validation of the text occurs in its final movement, where the narrative voice executes a vertical leap from the biological filth of the clinic room to the heights of existential and theological philosophy.

The concluding paragraph anchors its visceral impact in the description of "the gelatinous sharts of a colon turned spastic in its gratitude." The word "spastic" functions here with clinical brilliance; it marks an involuntary, neuromuscular convulsion—the body’s lower autonomous tract weeping with primitive relief because the pressure-cooker has finally vented.

Yet, while his lower anatomy lapses into this degraded release, his intellect immediately seeks refuge in cosmic abstraction. The progression moves rapidly from somatic degradation, through psychological dissociation, and straight into a profound philosophical inquiry regarding the balance of cosmic absurdity and the divine.

The text asks: “Does it cut back, even if the ultimate archē suffices for its own existence (self-caused as opposed to uncaused), all the way to God?”

This is not a casual rhetorical flourish. It is a profound psychological portrait of intellectual evasion. Dr. James attempts to escape the immediate moral reality of his squalid crime—and the impending sound of his assistant Debbie’s clicking heels—by re-framing his perversion as a localized symptom of a grander, cosmic absurdity. If existence itself is an unasked-for, chaotic labor characterized by entropy (whether it be stems competing for sun, or a bereaved orca nosing its dead calf), then his crime is merely another manifestation of reality's intrinsic, violent absurdity. He projectively offloads his guilt onto the structure of the universe, tracking the levels of absurdity all the way back to the prime mover.

Conclusion: The Literary Worth of the Piece

Pumps and a Bump is an exemplary piece of contemporary transgressive fiction because it subverts the standard tropes of shock-value literature. It refuses to glamorize the predator, choosing instead to document his somatic degradation with the cold eye of a veterinary pathologist. Through its dense, rhythmic cadence and its refusal to blink at the base physical realities of a hyper-pressurized body, the text leverages the grotesque to achieve an authentic condition of existential nausea. It stands as a highly disciplined, aesthetically significant investigation into the horrific capacities of human compartmentalization, proving that even within the deepest moral vacuum, the mind will desperately construct a theology to justify its own rot.

Meta Description

A claustrophobic, maximalist prose piece exploring the hydraulic buildup of obsession, forensic panic, and sexual violation under medical sedation, tracking a predatory dentist's cycle of somatic accumulation, frantic cleanup, and existential absurdity.

Keywords

Pumps and a Bump, forensic panic, somatic accumulation, predatory mechanics, medical authority violation, sedation dentistry trauma, hermeneutic contamination, existential nausea, thermodynamic entropy, transgressive cycle, legal erasure, bodily economy, maximalist prose, metaphysics of desire

Read More
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 88)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 88)

Part 88 operates under a dominant frequency that distinguishes it from the broader cultural scanning of its companion installments. Where the mosaic form typically distributes attention across the full horizontal range of contemporary experience — politics, technology, race, economics, theology — this installment turns more persistently inward and downward, toward dying, toward the child-self, toward the specific textures of grief, bodily humiliation, estrangement, and the narrow windows in which human beings actually reach each other. Death here is not a subject among subjects but a medium: the element through which nearly every other observation is refracted. The sequence's implicit argument is that a culture without dying-literacy — a term the poem will coin and immediately ironize — mismanages nearly everything downstream from it.

"Sensing the dinosaur in the parrot eye" opens with one of the sequence's most compressed and beautiful observations. It is paleontologically grounded — birds carry the evolutionary inheritance of theropod dinosaurs, the parrot's eye retains that lineage — but the poem deploys this as phenomenological event rather than scientific fact. "Sensing" is the crucial verb: not knowing, not seeing, but the more uncertain and intuitive apprehension of something that cannot be proven and cannot be unfelt. Deep time becomes suddenly visible in the quotidian. The image establishes the sequence's governing temporal mode: the past is not past, evolutionary and geological depth is present in ordinary surfaces, and attention — genuine attention — can crack open into duration far exceeding the human. This is also the poem's implicit claim about its own aphoristic method: the fragment, attending to the apparently trivial, can access something ancient.

"Apologizing to people for crying in front of them" follows with a shift from the cosmological to the acutely social. The apology performs the culture's management of emotional display: tears require explanation, and the explanation takes the form of an apology because the crier has, by cultural convention, imposed something on the witness. The stanza names this without satirizing it — the apology is genuine, the discomfort is real, the convention is internalized. It belongs to a loose cluster across the sequence of observations about the management of feeling under social pressure: the half-hour window before paternal stupor, the children's clothing inked for body identification, the cell check and the torn sanitary pads. Each names a specific site where the private and the institutional collide, usually at the private's expense.

"Sick of seeing family since they mourn you as if already dead" names a specific cruelty internal to anticipatory grief. The family's love expresses itself as premature mourning, which forecloses the present tense of the still-living person. To be mourned before dying is to be erased by the very attention meant to honor you. The poem holds this without adjudication: the family's grief is genuine, and its effect on its object is devastating, and these two facts are not reconcilable. The stanza's particular compression — the word "sick" carrying both emotional exhaustion and the condition that makes the mourning necessary — refuses to let any participant escape cleanly.

"Mothers inking names in their children's clothing for body identification" arrives without editorial framing, and that restraint is the move. The act belongs to contexts of mass casualty — war, siege, displacement, disaster — but the poem renders it in the domestic register of ordinary maternal labor. The intimacy of inking a child's name into a collar, performed in the same gesture as sewing a button, holds the catastrophic and the routine in a single image. The stanza connects to "distracting the kids from daily bomb sirens added to the besieged mother's duties" later in the sequence: a diptych of maternal management under conditions that the poem's probable readership encounters only at a distance, as news. For the mothers in these stanzas, the extraordinary is the ordinary.

"Trying to talk to your father in that half-hour window before after-work stupor" maps a precise domestic topology. The window is not metaphorical but structural: everything a child needs to say or ask or secure fits into this interval or goes unsaid. "After-work stupor" is deliberately unspecified in its cause — alcohol is available as a reading, but so is exhaustion, depression, the simple attrition of daily labor. Children rarely possess clinical explanations for parental unavailability. They possess only the window and its closing.

"Extending forgiveness less because he deserves it than because you deserve peace" reframes forgiveness entirely. Not moral generosity toward the offender but self-interested liberation from the weight of sustained grievance. The "he" remains unspecified — father, lover, assailant, colleague — and the ambiguity is generative rather than evasive. The stanza refuses the vocabulary of virtue in which forgiveness is performed as a gift to its recipient. It insists on the transaction's self-directed logic, which is simultaneously more honest and more morally complicated: forgiveness as hygiene, not grace. The formulation is one the poem does not sentimentalize. It notes the motive without condemning it.

"Simply raising a few fingers from the steering wheel to the man on the corner" is the sequence's most minimal act of human recognition, and its placement gives it weight. The raised fingers are acknowledgment in its cheapest and most widely distributable form: a signal that the man on the corner exists in the driver's field of attention. The poem frames this not as charity but as recognition — the gift of being seen, delivered at negligible cost. That such minimal acknowledgment registers as notable is itself an observation about the scarcity of ordinary recognition.

The Chinese food deliveryman stanza is the sequence's most sustained comedic set piece, and its comedy is analytical. The deliveryman is "disgusted by the thought / that the pizza deliveryman now at his door, dreck / of the American Dream, is making eyes at his daughter." The hierarchy being enforced — the Chinese deliveryman locating the pizza deliveryman below himself on the aspirational ladder, protecting his daughter from a rival claimant — is simultaneously recognizable as human and precise as social observation. "Dreck / of the American Dream" performs the Dream's internal class system: among those the Dream has not yet lifted, fine distinctions of relative elevation are maintained with great seriousness. The stanza does not mock this. It records it with a clarity that is its own form of respect.

"In love it is not obscene for an imperfect being to expect being taken as perfect" is the sequence's most generous formulation. It does not argue that love is delusional but that its central demand — to be received as whole, without remainder, without the deduction of one's faults — is legitimate even for the irreducibly flawed. "Obscene" is carefully chosen: it forestalls the objection that such expectation is narcissistic or unreasonable. The poem insists that making this demand belongs to love's proper grammar. The stanza does not promise the expectation will be met.

The hobo stanza achieves its effects through a single image of sustained precision. "A hobo squatting out shit in an alley, / his great-white-shark eyes unfazed / by high beams glowing them like road signs." The great-white-shark eyes carry a specific biological claim: the shark registers no fear because its nervous system does not model danger the way mammals do. The hobo's unfazed eyes suggest a comparable condition — not courage but the radical attrition of the threat-response through sufficient exposure to exposure itself. The high beams illuminate the eyes "like road signs": directional markers for other travelers, utilitarian, impersonal. The man has been converted by circumstance into infrastructure. The image does not grieve this. It records it exactly.

"Even more concealed it seems, now that we abandon / the distinction between man and deed, is that abyssal / stratum in which we are one even with our antipodes" is the sequence's most philosophically ambitious stanza. The argument is counterintuitive: the progressive move of separating persons from their acts — judging the deed without condemning the doer — paradoxically conceals a deeper stratum in which even our most extreme opposites share our nature. To collapse the man/deed distinction in the name of compassion is to lose sight of what genuine compassion requires: the recognition that the capacity for the deed inheres in the same human nature one shares with its perpetrator. "Antipodes" — those at the opposite pole, the furthest imaginable from us — is the exact term for what the poem insists we cannot finally separate ourselves from.

"What do we hope to avoid by labeling all suicides 'cases of mental illness'?" opens a question the poem declines to close. The label performs specific social work — it pathologizes the act, removes it from the domain of rational choice or social indictment, protects the community from examining what conditions it may have produced. The question does not argue that suicide is rational or that mental illness is not real. It asks what function the label serves beyond clinical description, and what that function costs in terms of honest reckoning. The poem is not the first to ask this question, but its placement — between the prison guard tearing sanitary pads and the stanza about being stuck up for a cross piece — gives it particular force. The question sits among images of institutional violence and desperate vernacular prayer.

"Being stuck up for your cross piece, / unsure if it will even help to yell out, / 'Yo dad — dad it's me, bro: Mikey!'" is the sequence's most startling tonal shift, and its comedy does not cancel its horror. The scenario is robbery at gunpoint; the hostage's appeal to paternal recognition — "it's me, bro: Mikey!" — deploys the casual register of street address in a moment of absolute extremity. The "bro" is simultaneously the idiom of the neighborhood and a genuine appeal to brotherhood, to the recognition that the robber and the robbed share a world in which fathers exist and names matter. Whether this appeal could work is left entirely open. The poem trusts the image to carry its own ambivalence.

The dying cluster is the sequence's thematic center of gravity, distributed across multiple stanzas that accumulate into a sustained argument. "Let your dying be an occasion to bring out the best in onlookers" proposes dying as moral practice — not merely endured but performed, in the older sense of performed: brought to completion, given form. "Do not go to your death as an amateur: attend to dying for the research" extends this into epistemological territory. Dying is available only once and is therefore among the experiences most demanding of full attention — to go as an amateur is to waste the data. "So much dying, but still no dying-literacy — dying-literary, in fact, dying" is the sequence's great pun and its most devastating compressed argument. The wordplay enacts through sound what it argues through sense: the culture's literacy about dying is itself dying, the capacity to read death as a meaningful human event atrophying even as death-as-spectacle proliferates. "How much others could grow, shake / at least that intergenerational grudge / against life, seeing a dying done well!" completes the cluster: a well-attended death is among the most significant transmissions one generation can offer another.

"Only whenever the parents left / his bedside was the child allowed / the knowledge that he was dying" is the sequence's most quietly devastating entry. The parents' protection — their refusal to let the child know — deprives him of the one thing that would allow integration of his own dying. Knowledge of one's death becomes something received alone, in the gap between parental visits. The poem does not condemn the parents. The cost of their protection is named with precision; the motive for it is not disputed.

"In the grand theater of fake fury over the president's hot-mic boast that he 'grabs 'em / by the pussy,' she recast her soirée flex — worn like Cruella fur over years of milking / envy from starstruck primates — as mascara-tear MeToo (ripe with anal embellishment)" is the sequence's most politically volatile stanza, and it requires careful handling that neither flattens it into simple anti-feminist provocation nor insulates it from legitimate challenge. The target is not the MeToo movement but a specific figure of opportunistic appropriation: the socially elevated woman who converts a genuine political moment into personal brand extension, wearing feminist outrage as she has worn other markers of status — instrumentally, performatively, for the room. "Soirée flex," "starstruck primates," "Cruella fur," "anal embellishment" — the diction is deliberately excessive, calibrated to match the excess it diagnoses. The poem risks complicity with exactly the dismissal of women's political speech that it claims to be targeting within a subset. That risk is real and the poem does not resolve it. What it does is insist that the category of opportunistic appropriation exists, that it is not identical to the genuine movement, and that failing to name it out of protective solidarity is its own form of bad faith.

"Living in the time where humans / are becoming outdated need not mean / living in a time where they have no purpose" offers the sequence's most measured response to technological displacement anxiety. The distinction between obsolescence and purposelessness is genuine: a hammer does not cease to have a use when power tools arrive. The stanza refuses both the catastrophism that treats human redundancy as total and the optimism that denies the redundancy is occurring. It holds the middle position without sentimentality.

"Father's hands sudsing your own at the sink" arrives near the sequence's close as one of its most purely imagistic entries. No narrative, no argument — only the sensory memory of a specific domestic intimacy: the father's hands working soap into the child's at the sink, the intergenerational transmission of the simplest hygiene. The image accumulates against the sequence's other father observations — the half-hour window, the Mikey stanza — to suggest a complex paternal presence: unavailable, dangerous, and capable of this.

"That age when a child in the antebellum South / had to face that some of his best playmates / are just commodities — indeed, his very own" closes the sequence on one of its most morally exacting images. The child's developmental task — integrating the knowledge that those he plays with are property, and that some of that property is his — is rendered without historical distance. "His very own" arrives at the line's end with the full weight of possession's obscenity. The stanza does not editorialize. The horror is in the situation exactly described.

The final image — "king-of-the-mountain on dirt mounds / excavated from a mine, draglines / paused in the air for the holidays" — closes on a tableau of industrial and childhood scale superimposed. Children play king-of-the-mountain on the byproduct of extraction; the draglines are paused, enormous and idle, for a human holiday that the machines observe only by stopping. The image is not symbolic so much as exact: two scales of human activity — the child's game, the industrial operation — sharing the same ground, temporarily stilled by the same calendar. The sequence ends not on resolution but on this suspended image of scale, industry, play, and pause — the draglines in the air, going nowhere, waiting for the holiday to end.

Formally, Part 88 achieves its effects through contrast of scale and register more consistently than its companion installments. The cosmological ("sensing the dinosaur in the parrot eye," "microbial stowaways in space rock") sits against the micro-domestic ("father's hands sudsing your own at the sink," "looking for an undo button — / on the counter, on the floor — / after accidentally breaking the mug"). The undo button stanza is among the sequence's most psychologically exact: the reflex to look for a real-world control-Z, the body acting before the mind can correct it, names a form of grief-cognition that everyone has experienced and almost no one has articulated. Its placement among the dying stanzas gives it additional resonance: dying is the irreversible event for which no undo button exists and the body keeps looking anyway.

What Part 88 accumulates into is a sustained meditation on the management of the irreversible — dying badly, dying alone, dying with others present who will not say so, dying in institutional custody, dying with children who must wait for their parents to leave before they can know. The sequence's argument, distributed across its fragments, is that the culture has generated enormous machinery for the avoidance of this reckoning and very little for its conduct. The dying-literacy pun is the sequence's thesis: we are dying-illiterate, and the illiteracy itself is dying. What remains is the dragline in the air, paused, waiting for the holiday to end.

Meta Description

A mosaic poem installment organized around dying as medium rather than subject — moving through paternal estrangement, anticipatory grief, bodily humiliation, institutional violence, and the specific textures of human recognition, while building a sustained argument that the culture's dying-literacy is itself dying, leaving its citizens to face the irreversible without the tools to conduct it.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, dying-literacy, anticipatory grief, paternal estrangement, aphoristic poetry, body identification, institutional violence, MeToo opportunism, antebellum childhood, dying well, dragline imagery, undo button grief, hospice poetry, forgiveness as hygiene, cosmological aphorism, American mortality culture, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics, irreversibility and grief

Read More
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 87)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 87)

If the first 2017 installment established the mosaic's method — aphoristic fragment, juxtaposition without bridge, the full bandwidth of a contemporary intelligence scanning its moment — Part 87 extends that method into deeper register while intensifying two of its defining pressures: the poem's willingness to hold moral horror and wry observation in the same breath without resolving either into the other, and its insistence that no subject, however sacred or taboo, is exempt from the same quality of unflinching attention. The result is a sequence that is simultaneously funnier, more disturbing, more theologically ambitious, and more politically volatile than its predecessor — a larger hive, humming at higher frequency.

The poem opens on a motif that will recur throughout: the phone as instrument of self-evasion. "Phones to run to in fear of our own inner world" frames the device not as communication technology but as escape hatch — the contemporary equivalent of whatever humans have always reached for when interiority becomes unbearable. What distinguishes this formulation from standard screen-time critique is its precision about what is being fled. Not boredom, not loneliness, not distraction from productivity, but the inner world specifically — the self's encounter with itself. The phone, in this reading, is a form of self-administered anesthesia. It is placed immediately before "death-metal shirts from Walmart," which performs a different but related operation: the commodification of transgression, the domestication of symbolic violence into retail. The sequence implies that the phone and the death-metal shirt are serving comparable psychological functions — the one fleeing inwardness through distraction, the other performing darkness while purchasing it at mass-market price. Both are forms of managed encounter with what actually terrifies.

"Heavy-panting CO2 suffocation in a submarine sunken to depths beyond rescue" arrives without context — no narrative frame, no named disaster — and this is precisely its force. The image is visceral and total, a sealed environment in which the atmosphere becomes poison, in which waiting and dying are the same activity. Its placement between the Walmart shirt and the food-scarcity stanza creates a pressure gradient: the sequence moves from petty cultural contradiction to absolute physical extremity to systemic deprivation. The submarine image functions as a kind of depth marker — the poem is capable of sounding this far down, and it does so without announcement or ceremony.

"Public school attention scarcity from food scarcity" is one of the sequence's most compressed policy arguments. In four words before the preposition, it names the problem that school reformers, curriculum debates, and attention-deficit diagnoses have collectively failed to adequately address: that cognitive availability is a function of caloric availability, that children cannot attend to what they have not been fed. The stanza does not editorialize. It states the causal chain and moves on, leaving the reader to sit with the institutional failure the chain implies.

"Addicted to the people you hate, the world you are trying to negate" achieves something the poem manages repeatedly: a formulation that sounds epigrammatic but resists reduction to mere wit. The addiction model applied to hatred and negation captures something psychologically real about how opposition can become constitutive of identity — how the world one is against can become the primary structure of one's existence, so that its disappearance would leave not liberation but vacancy. The fragment is related to the later observation that "all this trendy talk of how mere critical speech / does violence — that allows the genuinely violent / to chalk up the claims of their victims to hysteria." Both engage the dynamics of antagonism: how opposition, correctly deployed, can become its own form of power, and how the language of harm can be co-opted to neutralize the testimony of the actually harmed.

The shopping cart girl stanza is among the sequence's most tender, and its tenderness is doing argumentative work. "The curbed elation on the face of the girl in the nest of a shopping cart, / clearly — just by that look she has of patient wonder — a good girl never / asking for much, as her mom hands her a box of rainbow-swirl ice pops." "Curbed elation" is exact: joy that has already learned to moderate itself, to not exceed the dimensions of what is offered. "Patient wonder" suggests a child who has developed equanimity not through abundance but through its absence — who has learned to find the extraordinary in the ordinary because the extraordinary is not otherwise available. "Never asking for much" is simultaneously admirable and devastating: it describes a child who has internalized scarcity as her proper scope. The "rainbow-swirl ice pops" arrive with the full specific weight of their cheap, cheerful, adequate reality. This is not pathos performed from outside. It is observation performed with care.

The self-talk stanza operates by stark juxtaposition with the external: "we would be horrified hearing someone say to another, / 'You're just too fucking fat for anyone to like you' — / yet we think nothing of it when we say it to ourselves." The horror, structurally, is that the internal register is not merely permitted but normalized, even encouraged in the language of self-improvement and honest self-assessment. The stanza implicates the wellness culture that appears elsewhere in the larger project: the same health-minded apparatus that restricts screens and theorizes fat praise generates, in its shadow, a vicious internal jurisprudence that would be immediately recognizable as abuse if externalized. The poem does not moralize the point. It simply performs the comparison.

The hospice stanza — "how is the mother ever to insist that the child, / cradled in a lap of her hospiced father for perhaps / the last time before cremation, go off to bed?" — achieves its force through the collision of the routine and the terminal. Bedtime is among the most ordinary of parental imperatives; its enforcement requires the willful interruption of a moment of irreplaceable tenderness. The question is genuinely unanswerable. The poem does not answer it. It holds the impossibility open without resolution, which is the only honest response available to it.

"Love, yes, creates death but death creates so much love — all-you-can-eat crab buffet" is the sequence's most tonally audacious move. The dialectical observation — that love generates mortal vulnerability, that death generates an intensity and generosity of feeling otherwise unavailable — is philosophically serious. The "all-you-can-eat crab buffet" appended to it refuses to let the observation aestheticize itself. The excess and the vulgarity and the democracy of the buffet — anyone can come, anyone can eat beyond reasonable limit — are brought to bear on the economy of grief-love. The buffet image is not mockery; it is a genuine extension of the claim, an insistence that death's love-generating power is not refined or selective but abundant and indiscriminate, available to all comers. The tonal collision enacts the argument.

The AI stanza — "that which evolves from us with enough / intelligence to mock us with penetration, / righteousness, superior to any human artist" — is among the more prescient in the sequence, written in 2017 when this was still largely speculative. What distinguishes it from standard AI anxiety is the specific verb: "mock." The intelligence that emerges from human data is imagined as satirist, not destroyer or assistant — something that has absorbed human culture fully enough to turn it back on us with greater accuracy and moral clarity than we bring to ourselves. "Righteousness" is the charged term: the AI achieves not merely technical superiority but an ethical vantage point from which human behavior is legible in its full contradiction. Whether this is to be feared or desired the poem does not say. The ambivalence is structural.

The theological stanzas form the sequence's most sustained philosophical argument, distributed across multiple entries. "Technically, the existence of a being worthy of a title / such as 'God' must be up to that being alone — / not something else (other-caused) or nothing (uncaused)" constitutes a compressed ontological argument that sidesteps the traditional Anselmian route. The claim is not that God necessarily exists but that the logical preconditions for the title require a self-caused being — one that cannot be derived from prior causes or from nothing. The "technically" is doing significant work: it acknowledges that this is a logical rather than experiential or revelatory claim, and it distances the speaker from full endorsement while establishing the internal coherence of the position. The dead-gods stanza extends this into comparative theology: "all the gods of once good standing, add them / to those of now good standing that believers reject — / yeah, we have a lot of dead gods on our hands." The argument is familiar from Enlightenment religious critique but the tone — "yeah," the casual accounting — strips it of its usual triumphalist atheism. The gods are dead, but their accumulated number is treated as a matter of wry inventory rather than liberation. The poem is not celebrating secular reason. It is noting what belief has historically produced and what it continues to produce, without declaring a victor.

"Feeling horrible about being bored by the bible — yawning even through passages / where God commands the slaughter of every Canaanite that breathes, including / babies nursing at the tit, for their love of bestiality and incest and child sacrifice" is the sequence's most sustained theological dark comedy. The horror is layered: the speaker feels guilt for boredom, when the appropriate response to the content might be moral outrage rather than boredom, and the content that provokes the boredom is itself among the most morally troubling in the canon. The stanza does not argue that the Bible is wrong, or that God does not exist, or that believers are foolish. It dramatizes the gap between the text's assumed sacred status and the phenomenological reality of reading it — a gap in which moral horror and aesthetic tedium collapse into each other.

"Imagine the potential horrors if people / really did believe in a paradise after death, / loving death as the rest of us love life" closes the sequence on its most chilling speculative note. The stanza does not argue that afterlife belief is false. It argues that the full logical consequence of sincere belief in paradise — genuinely loving death as the rest of us love life — would produce horrors that existing religious culture, in its partial and socially moderated forms of belief, manages to avoid. The horror is not in the belief itself but in its full actualization: a world in which death is the goal, not the threat. This connects directly to the earlier fatwa stanza — "fatwas against suicide bombings conveniently unreported" — and together they form the sequence's most sustained engagement with religious violence, approached not through outrage but through the cold logic of what sincere belief, fully acted upon, would actually require.

The sequence's formal range — from two-line observations to six-line narrative fragments, from single nouns ("bum tans," "sexually transmitted fleas") to sustained conditional arguments — refuses any single modality. The ultra-compressed entries are not merely aphorisms but pressure-points: "homes with only two spoons," "sincere as pig shrieks," "chest freezers in mudrooms" — images that carry entire social and economic worlds in a phrase. The single-noun and two-word entries operate differently from the extended tercets: they are the poem breathing in sharply before the longer exhalations. The rhythm of the sequence enacts the associative movement of consciousness through a day, a news cycle, a lifetime of accumulated observation — never settling into any register long enough to become that register's prisoner.

Part 87 of "Made for You and Me" is the hive at full roar: funnier than its predecessor, more dangerous, more theologically engaged, more willing to hold tenderness and grotesquerie in the same breath. It extends the project's fundamental wager — that an intelligence willing to look at everything without deciding in advance what deserves seriousness will produce, in the aggregate, a more honest account of its moment than any curated lyric or organized argument can. The hive does not editorialize. It hums at every frequency simultaneously and trusts the reader to hear what they are capable of hearing.

Meta Description

The second installment of the 2017 portion of "Made for You and Me" extends the mosaic poem's aphoristic method into deeper theological, political, and psychological territory — moving from AI prophecy and dead-gods inventory to shopping-cart tenderness and biblical dark comedy, holding the full range of contemporary consciousness without deciding in advance which of its contents deserves the most serious attention.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, aphoristic poetry, theological satire, dead gods, AI and mockery, food scarcity attention, self-talk and abuse, hospice poetry, afterlife horror, religious violence logic, fat shame, suicide bombing fatwas, shopping cart poverty, all-you-can-eat buffet grief, contemporary American poetry, 2017 poetry, cultural fragment poetry, phone and interiority, death-metal Walmart, CO2 submarine, biblical dark comedy, Canaanite slaughter poetry

Read More
The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 6)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 6)

“The Art of Subtraction” is a poem about the psychic crisis of succession. More specifically, it is about what happens when love for one's child collides with the recognition that the child's ascent necessarily coincides with one's own displacement. Countless works celebrate parenthood as continuity, legacy, or immortality through descendants. This poem is interested in a far more difficult question: how does one endure becoming secondary? How does one learn to welcome the flourishing of another person when that flourishing increasingly reveals that one's own season at the center of things is ending?

The title announces the poem's governing insight. Subtraction is not presented as catastrophe but as discipline. The speaker imagines the possibility that diminishment itself might be cultivated as an art. Yet the poem never romanticizes this prospect. The subtraction in question is not a serene spiritual exercise undertaken from a position of wisdom. It is experienced as resistance, shame, grief, and psychic strain. The poem's emotional power derives from the fact that the speaker understands what is being asked of him long before he knows whether he possesses the strength to comply.

The opening establishes this struggle through inheritance. The speaker's confession that it takes “everything inside me” to look directly at his son immediately links relational difficulty to his own father before him. This is one of the poem's first major insights: what is inherited is not merely temperament but posture toward intimacy itself. The father's “shifty eyes” become the son's shifty eyes. What once appeared from the perspective of childhood as indifference or evasiveness now appears as the visible symptom of a deeper burden. The speaker arrives at a painful sympathy for the dead. He discovers that the very behavior he once found frustrating may have emerged from pressures he only now understands.

That pressure centers on the child's gaze. The son appears throughout the poem as a figure of vitality, possibility, and presence. His eyes are “energized” and “hopeful.” His childhood eccentricities remain preserved in memory with extraordinary vividness. The little nose in the bathroom mirror, the “Bip it. Bop it.” refrain, the diapers whose numbered days seemed endless while they were occurring—all survive with greater intensity than entire years. The poem understands memory not as a rational archive but as a system governed by emotional force. What remains is often arbitrary, yet its persistence feels absolute.

Importantly, however, the speaker recognizes that nostalgia alone cannot explain his distress. The poem contains one of its most revealing moments when he acknowledges that reducing the problem to sentimental memories would constitute “vain evasion.” This self-correction is characteristic of the poem's intelligence. Again and again, it refuses explanations that are emotionally satisfying but incomplete. The son's childhood matters, but it is not the true source of the father's anguish.

The deeper source emerges as the son matures. One of the poem's most devastating observations concerns the child's gradual movement beyond self-absorption. The son's youthful “gab of vigor” has begun to soften into something “considerate.” He is becoming capable of empathy. Ordinarily such growth would be cause for celebration. Here it becomes painful. The speaker realizes that the child is approaching the age at which he will begin to see his father not as a center of gravity but as a vulnerable human being. The phrase “mercy for Dad” carries tremendous psychological weight. Rebellion would preserve hierarchy. Compassion reverses it. To be pitied by one's child is to confront the erosion of parental authority at its deepest level.

This is where the poem departs from more familiar narratives of aging. The crisis is not physical decline. Nor is it merely mortality. The true crisis is decentering. The son increasingly occupies the position once occupied by the father. What the speaker confronts is not death itself but the transfer of significance from one generation to another.

The bathroom mirror scene crystallizes this realization. Seeking a moment of solitude, the speaker looks at himself and experiences the act almost as a criminal arraignment. He appears “like an ankle-cuffed criminal ushered into court / for his disgrace.” The image is remarkable because it transforms self-awareness into self-prosecution. The speaker is not judged by society but by reality itself. Looking at his body becomes an encounter with evidence.

Yet the poem refuses simple self-loathing. What the speaker sees in the mirror is simultaneously degrading and exalted. He finds “Apollo's torso,” invoking Rilke's famous encounter with classical beauty and the imperative “You must change your life.” This allusion is central because the poem fundamentally revises Rilke's vision. In Rilke, transformation points toward expansion, growth, and greater realization of the self. Here the injunction is joined by a second command: “Face it. Your time is over.”

The genius of the poem lies in its recognition that both statements are true.

One must change one's life.

One's time is over.

The speaker discovers that genuine transformation at this stage of existence may consist not in becoming more but in learning how to become less. The traditional narrative of self-actualization reaches its limit. A new task emerges: the cultivation of graceful irrelevance.

The poem's final movement develops this insight into an ethical ideal. The speaker imagines becoming “he who can bear not being / the center,” and eventually “he who can sing / backstage.” These lines contain the poem's deepest wisdom. They propose a model of human flourishing radically opposed to contemporary assumptions. Modern life encourages endless self-expansion, visibility, and relevance. The poem suggests that maturity may instead require learning how to support the performance without demanding the spotlight.

The metaphor of apprenticeship is especially important. The speaker imagines training himself for erasure. Erasure is not avoided, denied, or conquered. It is practiced. The phrase “art of subtraction” therefore names a discipline of preparing oneself for the reality that awaits all living things. The poem does not seek immortality. It seeks dignity within impermanence.

Yet the poem remains psychologically honest enough to acknowledge how difficult this project is. The figure of the speaker's father returns near the end, head bowed over stacked beer cans, diminished beneath the brightness of youth. This image represents one possible response to succession: retreat, bitterness, and defeat. The speaker understands the appeal of that road because it preserves identification with the father. It offers continuity. To follow the father's path would be, in a sense, to remain connected to him.

This recognition gives the final lines their extraordinary emotional complexity. The speaker admits that if he fails, “at least I walk beside him.” The statement is neither surrender nor triumph. It is an acknowledgment that transcendence of inherited patterns is never complete. Love pulls in multiple directions at once. One wishes to surpass one's father, yet one also wishes to remain loyal to him. One wishes to celebrate the son's future, yet one mourns one's own fading centrality.

Ultimately, “The Art of Subtraction” is a poem about a transformation more difficult than self-improvement. It is about learning to inhabit a world in which one is no longer the protagonist. The speaker does not arrive at mastery. What he achieves instead is clarity. He recognizes that the highest demand placed upon him is not success, wisdom, or even happiness, but the ability to love another person enough to survive becoming secondary to them. The poem's greatness lies in its willingness to admit how painful—and how beautiful—that task can be.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic meditation on fatherhood, aging, succession, inherited masculine retreat, and the difficult art of surrendering centrality without surrendering love.

Keywords

The Art of Subtraction, fatherhood, generational succession, paternal psychology, aging and identity, Rilke, Apollo's Torso, ego decentering, narcissism and parenthood, masculine inheritance, father-son relationship, memory and aging, psychoanalytic poetry, mortality, self-erasure, humility, relational identity, contemporary poetry analysis, existential maturity, philosophical poetry criticism.

Read More
MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 86)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 86)

This installment of Made for You and Me operates through a form that might be described as aphoristic accumulation. Unlike a conventional lyric poem that develops a single scene, voice, or argument, the poem advances by juxtaposition, placing observation beside observation until larger patterns emerge from their interaction. The individual fragments often appear unrelated on first reading—a midnight train whistle, a pregnancy test, a therapist unable to hug a child, a pilot describing an unidentified aircraft—but as the sequence unfolds, recurring concerns begin to reveal themselves. The poem becomes a sustained meditation on self-deception, moral inconsistency, technological transformation, mortality, and the often painful distance between comforting narratives and material realities.

One of the poem's central preoccupations is humanity's tendency to elevate desires into truths. This concern appears explicitly in the fragment “elevating a hope into a truth,” but the insight reverberates throughout the sequence. The line about “fossils contradicting scripture, in place to test our faith” exemplifies the phenomenon. The speaker is less interested in theology itself than in the psychological maneuver by which contradictory evidence is reinterpreted so that a preexisting belief remains intact. Similar dynamics appear in “trying to prove otherwise to naysayers at least might result / in your religion ... actually transforming into one of peace,” where belief systems are shown to evolve not solely from doctrine but from the social pressure exerted by criticism. Again and again, the poem returns to the gap between what people want to be true and what they are willing to acknowledge as true.

Closely related to this concern is the poem's fascination with rationalization. Many of its most memorable fragments expose the subtle ways individuals preserve preferred narratives despite overwhelming counterevidence. “More realistic this time, his promise is never to hit her again full force” captures in miniature the logic of abusive compromise, where a moral failure is not abandoned but merely moderated. Likewise, the devastating observation that “the mother scrubs the soap but not the boyfriend; changes the diet / but not the company she fucks” presents a portrait of misdirected causality. The poem repeatedly identifies situations in which enormous effort is expended addressing symptoms while obvious underlying causes remain untouched.

This skepticism extends beyond personal relationships into broader cultural and political domains. The fragment asking whether “losing your job, even being fined, / for accidentally failing to use / a preferred pronoun—is that a bad sign?” is not presented as a settled answer but as an invitation to examine the proportionality of social sanctions. Similarly, the observation that “how could it be craziness if everyone participates in it?” interrogates the relationship between consensus and truth. Throughout the poem, widespread acceptance is treated not as proof but as a phenomenon requiring scrutiny.

A second major theme involves the instability of concepts such as “natural” and “unnatural.” The sequence repeatedly returns to these categories only to dissolve them. The declaration that “what is ‘natural’ for us is to expand the universe of what is natural” functions almost as a thesis statement. Human beings are distinguished precisely by their refusal to remain within inherited limits. This idea reappears later in “some say that it is unnatural / to extend life, but as humans / it seems unnatural not to try to.” The poem's argument is not that everything humans do is natural in some simplistic sense, but that humanity's defining characteristic may be its perpetual modification of its own conditions of existence.

Technology occupies a particularly important place in this inquiry. The poem imagines “a new world of technology where what causes pleasure is not so harmful anymore,” while elsewhere describing “heroic doses of hallucinogens from which you do not know if you will ever get back.” Such lines reveal a recurring concern with the relationship between desire and consequence. Human history appears as a continual effort to secure rewards while minimizing costs, yet the poem remains uncertain whether such a project can ever fully succeed.

Mortality forms another organizing principle beneath the sequence's apparent fragmentation. The “midnight train whistle, too distant to jar you from dozing,” the scholars “itinerating cemeteries for the epitaphs,” and the “revolutionary change in your relationship with mortality” all contribute to an atmosphere haunted by finitude. Yet unlike many meditations on death, the poem's interest lies less in mortality itself than in the narratives humans construct around it. The striking observation that “that God is dead to us is perhaps most manifest / when even devout beloveds scoff with skepticism / at our claim of a spiritual bond with them” suggests that secularization reveals itself not only through declining religious practice but through changing assumptions about intimacy, transcendence, and meaning.

The poem is equally attentive to the distortions produced by media and language. One of its finest moments recounts how a pilot's statement that an unidentified aircraft “moved in a skipping fashion, / like if you wung a tea saucer across a pond” became condensed by journalists into “Pilot sees flying saucers.” The fragment illustrates how description becomes narrative and narrative becomes myth. Human beings do not merely encounter reality; they continuously reshape it through language. The poem's form itself reflects this insight, offering snapshots rather than comprehensive accounts and thereby forcing readers to participate in the construction of meaning.

A particularly rich tension emerges between symbolic and anti-symbolic modes of thought. The line “details in an anti-symbolist poem accruing symbolic weight” functions as a kind of metafictional commentary on the sequence itself. The poem often presents observations in a deliberately direct or literal manner, yet the cumulative effect is profoundly symbolic. Individual fragments become representative of broader human tendencies, and the reader inevitably begins connecting them into thematic constellations. The poem acknowledges that meaning-making may be unavoidable even when one consciously resists it.

The sequence's emotional power derives largely from its refusal to divide humanity into heroes and villains. Even its harshest observations tend to reveal common psychological mechanisms rather than exceptional depravity. The person holding a non-alcoholic beer merely to avoid explaining sobriety, the individual anxious after sleeping through part of the day, the parent weaponizing divine authority, the activist, the addict, the believer, and the skeptic all occupy the same moral landscape. The poem's gaze is unsparing but rarely self-righteous. It treats human beings as creatures continually improvising explanations for themselves while struggling to navigate desires, fears, and social pressures they only partially understand.

Ultimately, this section of Made for You and Me is less a collection of observations than an anatomy of consciousness. Its fragments repeatedly expose the mechanisms through which people construct meaning, justify actions, maintain identities, and evade uncomfortable truths. The mosaic form proves especially suited to this project because it mirrors the structure of thought itself: discontinuous, associative, contradictory, and yet capable of generating larger patterns. What emerges is a portrait of humanity as a species suspended between self-deception and self-awareness, forever inventing stories while periodically glimpsing the realities those stories were designed to conceal.

Meta Description

A philosophical mosaic poem examining self-deception, rationalization, mortality, technology, belief, language, and humanity's persistent tendency to transform desires into truths.

Keywords

mosaic poetry, aphoristic poetry, self-deception, rationalization, mortality, belief systems, technology and humanity, social criticism, philosophical poetry, contemporary poetry analysis, symbolic meaning, language and perception, human nature, skepticism, ideology, modernity, consciousness, cultural critique, existential reflection, fragment poetry

Read More
SpongeBob SquarePants (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

SpongeBob SquarePants (ROUND 1)

"SpongeBob SquarePants" is a poem about the unintended cruelties of conscientious parenting. Its argument is structured as a single grammatical sentence distributed across three tercets, and its central move is an inversion: the cultural product that health-minded parents identify as the risk turns out to be the immunization, and the deprivation they enact in the name of health turns out to be the pathogen. The poem's provocation is not that screens are good for children. It is that the cost of screen abstinence has been catastrophically miscalculated by parents who are operating with an incomplete model of what health requires.

The title does the poem's heaviest conceptual work before the first line begins. "SpongeBob SquarePants" is not merely a reference to a children's cartoon; it names the specific content of what the poem will call "peer currency." The title is the currency itself — the shared cultural knowledge that constitutes social belonging among children, the conversational medium through which friendships are made and tested and sustained. By installing the cartoon's full proper name as the poem's title, the poem insists on a kind of dignity for the content that the health-minded parents deny it. SpongeBob is not noise or waste. It is a social environment, a lexicon, a form of literacy — the one that matters most in the only economy children actually inhabit.

"Peer currency" is the poem's most compressed and generative coinage. It frames cultural knowledge as economic capital: what you need to trade in the social market of childhood, the medium of exchange without which you are not simply poor but unable to participate in the transaction at all. The screen-deprived child is not merely missing entertainment; they are missing the means of exchange. They arrive at the social economy bankrupt in the only denomination accepted. The word "currency" also implies that this knowledge circulates, that it has value only in relation to other holders, that its power is collective rather than intrinsic. You cannot spend peer currency alone.

The parenthetical embedded in the middle tercet — "(just a few Shakespeare plays / short of retarded)" — is the poem's most explosive formal and semantic device. It operates on several registers simultaneously. First, it deploys the familiar idiom-type ("a few sandwiches short of a picnic") to name the social perception visited upon the screen-deprived child by their peers. Second, it invokes "retarded" not as the speaker's diagnostic term but as the social verdict delivered by the peer group — the word that circulates among children, with its full derogatory charge, to name those who cannot function in the shared cultural currency. Third, and most precisely, it activates the word's clinical etymology: to retard means to delay, to hold back. These children are genuinely delayed — held back from the peer culture that constitutes their developmental environment — by the very intervention meant to advance them. The word thus enacts its own double meaning. But the parenthetical's deepest irony operates through its content: Shakespeare. The implied alternative to SpongeBob — the high-cultural program that health-minded parents would substitute — is precisely what marks these children as deficient in peer terms. The more Shakespeare, the less SpongeBob, and the more the child appears intellectually and socially disabled to the only judges whose verdict matters to them. High culture, in the social economy of childhood, is not capital but liability.

"Health-minded parents" is perhaps the poem's most carefully calibrated phrase. It does not say negligent parents, or ignorant parents, or cruel parents. It says health-minded — parents who have thought carefully about their children's wellbeing, consulted the literature, made deliberate choices in the name of long-term flourishing. The poem does not dispute their intentions. It disputes their model of health — specifically, its incompleteness. "Neglecting loneliness's impact / on longevity" invokes a now-substantial body of research establishing social isolation as a major determinant of lifespan, comparable in effect to smoking. The health-minded parent who restricts screen time to reduce one category of risk has failed to account for the greater risk of social exclusion. The irony is structural, not personal: a health framework that omits loneliness is not a health framework but a partial one, and partial health frameworks produce the harms they omit to calculate.

"Our ecosystem of endless screens" is where the poem's "our" becomes significant. The speaker does not stand outside the screen culture in judgment; the first-person plural implicates them — and the reader — in the ecosystem being described. "Ecosystem" is the poem's other major coinage. It naturalizes the screen environment: not a product, not a pollution, not an entertainment industry, but a habitat with its own logic, inhabitants, interdependencies, and survival requirements. To resist an ecosystem is not to make a consumer choice but to refuse a biome. The children whose parents make this refusal on their behalf are not protected from the ecosystem; they are simply excluded from it, which in biological terms is not safety but exposure of a different kind.

Formally, the poem's single-sentence architecture performs its argumentative logic. The sentence cannot be abandoned mid-clause; it must be followed through to its completion, just as the causal chain it describes — from health-minded resistance to social crippling — must be followed through to its conclusion. The two dashes create the sentence's two major suspensions: "crippled—" opens a wound that the subsequent clauses fill; "retarded)—" completes the social verdict before pivoting to causality. "Because" is the poem's hinge, and its position — straddling the second and third tercets — marks the structural center of the argument. The poem does not merely observe; it explains, and the explanation lands, in the final line, on "screens" — the word against which the entire health-minded apparatus had been organized, returned now as the term of the culture the children have been denied.

In the context of the broader project, the poem extends the work's sustained interest in the unintended pathologies of wellness culture — the same interest that drives "Endgame Wegovy" and the fat-praise stanzas of the mosaic. There, pharmaceutical capital waits for health culture to exhaust itself; here, health culture exhausts its children directly. The poem does not argue against health. It argues against health frameworks that mistake the absence of one risk for the presence of wellbeing — frameworks that, in their vigilance against the visible danger, produce the invisible one at scale.

Meta Description

A poem about the social cost of screen restriction — arguing that children denied access to the peer currency of shared screen culture are rendered permanently socially deficient by health-minded parents who, in calculating one category of risk, neglect the loneliness research that makes social exclusion the greater threat to longevity.

Keywords

SpongeBob SquarePants poem, peer currency, screen time parenting, childhood social exclusion, loneliness and longevity, health-minded parenting critique, wellness culture poetry, contemporary American poetry, unintended consequences parenting, screen ecosystem, aphoristic poetry, cultural capital children, social isolation health, single-sentence poem, contemporary satire parenting

Read More
Salome (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Salome (ROUND 1)

“Salome” is a story about desire after desire, theft after ownership, and mortality after ambition. Set in the year 2079, it presents an elderly writer confined to a nursing home, watching a young aide gradually work up the courage to steal a bottle of perfume from what remains of his once-vast collection. Yet the theft is merely the narrative occasion for a far more expansive meditation on aging, memory, determinism, eros, and the strange persistence of selfhood after the structures that once sustained it have largely disappeared. The story asks a deceptively simple question: what remains of a person when desire has not entirely vanished but has ceased to matter?

The opening immediately situates the reader within a landscape of loss. The narrator watches “the aide in her residential pink,” while the five surviving bottles of perfume sit on a nursing-home nightstand, “the place whose faroff dread feels too like yesterday.” The phrase collapses decades into an instant. Old age is not presented as a distant destination finally reached but as a condition that seems to have arrived almost immediately. Time itself has undergone compression. This effect is reinforced by the detail that the narrator's son, once a child listening to Minecraft songs in the car, is now himself elderly. The story repeatedly emphasizes that entire lifetimes can appear, from the vantage of extreme age, as little more than brief interruptions.

Memory occupies a central place in this temporal collapse. Significantly, the memories that endure are not grand accomplishments but fragments of cultural debris: advertising jingles, children's songs, stray lyrics. The Minecraft refrain, “Don’t mine at night!,” loops endlessly in the narrator's mind, while old commercial songs survive with equal tenacity. These memories are described as being “more resistant to submersion than ever,” suggesting that consciousness in old age becomes less a curated archive than a field in which certain recurring fragments stubbornly refuse extinction. The image of “squirrels scrabbling up the sides of a drown bucket” brilliantly captures this phenomenon. Memory is no longer governed by deliberate recollection but by involuntary persistence.

Against this backdrop enters the aide and, with her, the story's central symbolic object: perfume. The young woman repeatedly returns to smell the narrator's bottles, eventually lingering over Salome. Perfume functions throughout the story as a material repository of desire and history. Unlike photographs or written documents, fragrances preserve emotional worlds through sensory association. Salome is not merely a scent but a condensed philosophy of human nature. The narrator describes it as “orange blossom and jasmine, castoreum and hyraceum, cumin and musk,” a composition that leads human beings back toward “the indolic petals, the pissy and fecal muff, out of which we used to come.” The language is deliberately provocative, yet its function is philosophical rather than merely transgressive. The fragrance becomes an emblem of continuity between civilization and animality, refinement and bodily origin.

This concern with humanity's animal foundations recurs throughout the story. The aide is described as looking around “like the chimp no neural implant could have stopped us from being.” The observation is characteristic of the narrator's worldview. Technological advancement has transformed society, yet beneath these transformations human beings remain fundamentally continuous with their evolutionary inheritance. The aide's temptation to steal, her furtive glances, her attraction to the perfume—all are interpreted not as moral failings but as expressions of an underlying biological condition.

Indeed, one of the story's most striking features is its sustained critique of shame. The narrator explicitly reflects that “the hackles of conscience need not involve any shame” and that “shame is not the only fuel for improvement.” These reflections reveal a philosophical position developed over an entire lifetime. The narrator views shame as an unnecessary and often destructive mechanism of social regulation. What matters is not whether individuals experience shame but whether they understand themselves. The aide's impending theft becomes a test case for this conviction. He recognizes exactly what she is doing and yet feels little desire to expose or punish her.

The story's treatment of free will deepens this philosophical framework. The narrator asks, “what warrant, besides, could shame ever have when, as any child could see, nothing—no thought, no action, no desire—is ultimately up to any of us?” This statement is not incidental. It functions as one of the story's governing propositions. The narrator's response to the theft emerges directly from his deterministic worldview. If human actions arise from forces beyond individual control, then condemnation becomes increasingly difficult to justify. The aide's theft is simply another event unfolding within a chain of causation.

Yet the story refuses to portray the narrator as a detached sage who has transcended desire. One of its greatest achievements is its insistence that philosophical conviction does not eliminate erotic impulse. The narrator continues to notice the aide's attractiveness. He continues to think in sexual terms. He even entertains the fantasy of leveraging his knowledge of the theft into a sexual encounter. Significantly, however, the story treats these thoughts neither as intentions nor as moral revelations. They are presented as mental events arising unbidden within consciousness. “Thoughts come unbidden,” the narrator observes, a statement that directly echoes his broader determinism. Desire persists not because he chooses it but because it remains embedded within him.

The relationship between desire and age forms the emotional center of the story. Earlier in life, the narrator apparently wielded considerable charisma. The aide has “no idea how many girls like her you have sucked into a bucking hunger.” The phrasing suggests a man who once possessed significant erotic power and who remains fully aware of that history. Yet the remarkable feature of the story is that this awareness is no longer accompanied by urgency. The old desires survive, but they have become curiously weightless. The narrator can imagine seduction without needing to pursue it. Fantasy remains while appetite's imperative has weakened.

This transformation is embodied most powerfully in the perfume bottle itself. Salome once belonged to the narrator's wife. It represents not only sensuality but marriage, memory, and mortality. The bottle's theft therefore carries emotional significance beyond its monetary value. Yet even here the narrator's response is characterized by relinquishment rather than possession. “What good is the bottle anymore to you?” he asks himself. The question extends beyond the perfume. What good are ownership, status, achievement, conquest, or even memory when life approaches its conclusion?

The exchange involving the rap lyric crystallizes this tension. When the narrator whispers, “I try to tell these young niggas crime don’t pay,” he simultaneously acknowledges the theft and transforms it into a joke. The line functions as a final act of participation in the social world. It is a tiny graffiti tag of consciousness, an assertion that he still sees and understands what is happening. Yet the gesture lacks punitive force. The narrator does not seek justice. He merely wishes to mark his presence.

This concern with presence is visible throughout the story. The narrator compares the lyric to his youthful graffiti: “I was here.” That phrase may ultimately provide the key to the entire narrative. The perfume collection, the books he has written, the memories of his son, the lingering desires, and even the cryptic warning to the aide all represent attempts to leave traces. Yet the story simultaneously recognizes the futility of such traces. Most will disappear. The collection will be sold. The books may be forgotten. Even the warning itself is likely to be dismissed as senile babble.

The story's final question—“But what does it matter?”—therefore arrives not as despair but as philosophical culmination. It does not negate meaning. Rather, it places meaning within a larger horizon where possession, shame, desire, and legacy have all begun to lose their urgency. The narrator remains recognizably himself until the end: observant, lustful, intellectual, mischievous, and self-aware. Yet these traits now exist within a consciousness increasingly detached from the need to act upon them.

“Salome” is ultimately a meditation on the strange coexistence of persistence and release. The self remains. Desire remains. Memory remains. Yet the compulsive force that once animated them has begun to dissolve. What emerges is not wisdom in any conventional sense but a state of radical relinquishment, where even theft, erotic longing, and mortality are absorbed into a broader acceptance of the human condition. The story's achievement lies in its ability to hold these tensions simultaneously, creating a portrait of old age that is neither sentimental nor tragic but profoundly philosophical.

Meta Description

A philosophical story about aging, perfume, memory, determinism, erotic persistence, and the gradual relinquishment of ownership, shame, and desire in the face of mortality.

Keywords

Salome, aging and desire, perfume literature, determinism, free will skepticism, mortality, memory and identity, old age fiction, nursing home narrative, eros and aging, philosophical fiction, inheritance, relinquishment, shame theory, animality, contemporary literary fiction, sensory memory, existential literature, perfume collection, end-of-life consciousness.

Read More
Mr. Haldol (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Mr. Haldol (ROUND 1)

“Mr. Haldol” is a poem about the public performance of stability after private psychic rupture, and the uneasy re-entry of a medically stabilized subject into an institutional role that depends on the appearance of coherence. The poem’s drama is not primarily narrative but social and phenomenological: it examines what it feels like to be known, implicitly or explicitly, as someone who has “come / fresh from the nuthouse,” while nevertheless being required to enact the rituals of professional normalcy.

The opening stanza immediately establishes this doubled condition of presence and performance:

“There you stand one Monday / morning, greeting students / with a banker’s handshake”

The “banker’s handshake” is not merely descriptive but symbolic. It compresses an entire regime of institutional legitimacy into a bodily gesture: firmness, predictability, controlled affect, and social trustworthiness. Yet the phrase is immediately strained by the situation it inhabits. The speaker is not simply a teacher resuming work; he is a subject whose continuity has been interrupted by psychiatric hospitalization. The handshake thus becomes less a natural extension of self than a rehearsed mechanism for re-entering social intelligibility.

The poem complicates this performance further by situating it temporally within a fragile threshold state:

“at the door after weeks of subs—”

The reference to substitutes (“subs”) signals institutional substitution and administrative continuity in the speaker’s absence. While the school functioned without him, his identity as teacher was temporarily delegated. His return is therefore not restoration but reinstatement under conditions of partial dislocation. The phrase also subtly suggests substitution in a psychological sense: the self that returns is not fully continuous with the self that left.

This instability becomes more explicit in the next movement:

“bushy-tailed but, for these / first minutes, reining in / that jazz they loved”

Here, “bushy-tailed” invokes forced brightness, a performative vitality that sits uneasily alongside the speaker’s recent hospitalization. The phrase suggests that liveliness itself is now something regulated rather than spontaneous. More significant is the phrase “reining in / that jazz they loved.” “Jazz” functions as a metaphor for erratic affect, improvisational personality, and uncontrolled expressive excess. It is “loved” by the institutional environment precisely because it is entertaining, recognizable, and socially consumable, yet it must also be contained in order for the speaker to remain legible as authority.

The verb “reining” is especially important. It implies that this containment is not only externally imposed but internally enacted. The speaker is simultaneously subject and agent of his own modulation, both performer and regulator of his performance.

The final stanza removes any ambiguity about the social frame in which this performance occurs:

“the whole / school knows you have come / fresh from the nuthouse.”

The bluntness of “nuthouse” is decisive. It strips away clinical euphemism and replaces it with communal vernacular knowledge. The speaker’s condition is not hidden or delicately coded; it is socially legible and publicly acknowledged. Yet the phrase also registers the violence of that legibility. “Fresh” intensifies the immediacy of exposure, suggesting not merely past hospitalization but a return still marked by its proximity to institutional psychiatric containment.

What the poem stages, therefore, is not simply stigma but the paradox of reintegration. The speaker is simultaneously expected to perform normalcy and already marked as having failed it. The institutional space of the school becomes a site where coherence must be enacted precisely because coherence is known to be fragile.

At a deeper level, the poem also explores the tension between identity as internal continuity and identity as external recognition. The speaker’s sense of self is not presented as stable interior essence but as something continuously negotiated at the interface of social perception. The handshake, the reining in of affect, and the communal awareness of psychiatric history all converge to produce a subject who exists primarily as managed visibility.

In this sense, “Mr. Haldol” is less a poem about illness than about the conditions under which personhood is publicly maintained after its disruption. It asks what remains of authority, professionalism, and selfhood when those categories are shadowed by the knowledge of breakdown, and it locates its answer not in resolution but in ongoing performance under constraint.

Meta Description

A poem exploring institutional reintegration after psychiatric hospitalization, the performance of professional identity, stigma, and the fragile maintenance of social coherence.

Keywords

psychiatric hospitalization, institutional identity, stigma, teacher narrative, mental health poetry, performance of normalcy, social recognition, subjectivity, workplace reintegration, affect regulation, contemporary poetry analysis, psychiatric recovery, institutional authority, identity and rupture, phenomenological poetics

Read More
Crank Shaft (ROUND 2)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Crank Shaft (ROUND 2)

“Crank Shaft” is a story about collision—not merely the collision between a child and a car, but the collision between desire and catastrophe, narcissism and grief, private fantasy and public reality. Its central achievement lies in its refusal to arrange these forces into a morally reassuring hierarchy. The narrator witnesses the death of a young boy while masturbating to the boy’s mother, and the story's power emerges from its insistence that the resulting psychic landscape is not one of simple guilt, remorse, or redemption. Instead, the narrator enters a state of profound ontological suspension in which ordinary motivations, judgments, and desires lose their coherence.

The title is crucial. “Crank Shaft” immediately invokes multiple registers at once. It suggests masturbation ("cranking"), machinery, rotational force, and the transmission of energy. A crankshaft converts linear motion into rotational motion and vice versa. The story is similarly concerned with the conversion of one kind of psychic energy into another. Sexual desire becomes guilt. Guilt becomes paralysis. Paralysis becomes something approaching mystical stillness. Throughout the narrative, forces continue moving through the narrator long after the event itself has concluded.

The opening establishes this state of suspension:

I have not gotten up from the curb.

The sentence is deceptively simple. The narrator's refusal—or inability—to move becomes the story's governing image. Everything afterward unfolds from this fixed point. The body remains stationary while consciousness drifts through memory, fantasy, self-interrogation, and increasingly strange forms of perception.

The story's treatment of time is especially important. Chronological time continues. The sun remains high. The day advances. Yet subjective time has broken apart.

Much more day remains. Yet the stillness is of twilight, an alien twilight.

The phrase "alien twilight" captures the story's central atmosphere. Twilight normally signifies transition. Here, however, it appears in the middle of the day. The world has become temporally dislocated. Categories no longer align with experience.

This dislocation spreads outward into the environment itself. The neighborhood becomes unnaturally quiet. Dogs stop barking. Squirrels stop moving. Even a feral cat behaves differently. The story does not ask the reader to believe that nature has literally responded to the boy's death. Rather, it depicts a consciousness projecting its own rupture onto the surrounding world.

The result resembles what phenomenologists describe as a transformation in the structure of lived experience. The narrator is not simply observing a quieter neighborhood. He inhabits a reality whose very texture has changed.

The feral cat sequence deepens this theme.

Ordinarily the cat comes running.

Ordinarily the cat seeks affection.

Ordinarily familiar routines persist.

Instead:

he slinks back into coverage.

The cat becomes an image of instinctive withdrawal. Unlike the narrator, who remains trapped at the scene, the animal responds appropriately to danger. The narrator repeatedly attributes forms of wisdom to nonhuman creatures throughout the story. Animals seem attuned to realities humans miss or ignore.

This concern culminates in one of the story's most revealing observations:

all of us fight to ignore—if only for what it says about us, not just as stewards of nature but as members no less embedded than any other.

The line gestures toward a worldview in which human beings are not separate from nature but participants within it. The narrator's catastrophe strips away ordinary illusions of separateness. Human beings become animals among animals.

Yet the story's most daring move lies elsewhere.

The narrator's sexual desire does not disappear after the boy's death.

Indeed, it persists.

The lengthy recollections of the mother's body, the flirtatious dynamic across the street, and the narrator's masturbatory fixation are not narrative distractions. They are the story's central psychological challenge.

Most fiction would force a moral conversion here. The death of the child would instantly extinguish desire. The narrator would become purified through tragedy.

Instead, desire survives.

Even after witnessing the accident, the narrator imagines comforting the mother sexually:

I pictured myself slurping the mom

I pictured whispering "I'm gonna give you another baby"

These fantasies are shocking not because they reveal monstrousness but because they reveal continuity. Human consciousness does not conveniently reorganize itself around moral expectations. Sexual desire, grief, self-interest, pity, shame, and fantasy coexist.

The story repeatedly refuses to sort them into separate compartments.

This refusal gives the narrative its psychoanalytic depth.

Freud frequently emphasized that traumatic events do not necessarily eliminate desire. More often, trauma creates bizarre juxtapositions in which incompatible impulses occupy the same psychic space. The narrator's erotic fantasies become unbearable precisely because they persist alongside genuine horror.

The resulting shame becomes one thread among many rather than the story's defining center.

In fact, one of the most remarkable features of the narrative is how shame gradually loses its force.

Thought after thought arises:

sympathy for me

neighbors perhaps looking out their blinds

an offering of sorts

The narrator continually generates explanations for why he remains on the curb. Yet each explanation dissolves.

The story systematically dismantles psychological interpretation.

Every motive appears plausible.

Every motive appears insufficient.

The narrator eventually arrives at a state beyond motive altogether.

This movement forms the story's philosophical core.

What begins as guilt gradually transforms into something closer to ego dissolution.

The final pages depict a consciousness being emptied out:

Now I am mostly empty.

The sentence marks a profound shift. Earlier sections overflow with fantasy, memory, rationalization, and self-consciousness. By the end, the internal machinery has begun shutting down.

The image of gears is significant:

The deep gears I have always known to spin have stopped.

This may be the story's most important line.

The narrator has spent the entire narrative trapped inside mechanisms of desire, fantasy, interpretation, and self-concern. Those mechanisms finally cease operating.

The title returns here with transformed meaning.

The crankshaft no longer turns.

The engine has stalled.

Yet what replaces it is not despair.

Instead, the story enters a state approaching mystical absorption:

I can feel the planet's core latched to my bones

I feel one with the tree, one with the buzzing wire.

This language evokes traditions ranging from mystical quietism to certain forms of ecological consciousness. The narrator experiences himself not as an isolated individual but as part of a larger field of being.

Importantly, this state does not arrive through enlightenment.

It arrives through catastrophe.

The death of the child functions as an involuntary spiritual event. It strips away ordinary psychic activity, leaving behind a bare encounter with existence itself.

The story's final insight is therefore neither moral nor theological.

The narrator never discovers a lesson.

He never redeems himself.

He never achieves forgiveness.

Instead, he encounters a temporary condition in which desire, shame, fantasy, ambition, and self-justification are swallowed by a deeper stillness.

The tragedy does not make him better.

It makes him smaller.

And within that reduction, he experiences something he has perhaps never known before: a world no longer organized around himself.

“Crank Shaft” is ultimately a story about the collapse of psychic machinery. It begins with a man absorbed in private appetite and ends with a consciousness suspended between grief, exhaustion, and transcendence. Its subject is not guilt but interruption—the sudden stopping of the mechanisms through which a self ordinarily sustains its place in the world. What remains after that stoppage is terrifying, humbling, and strangely beautiful.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic story about a child's accidental death, the persistence of desire amid catastrophe, ego dissolution, traumatic stillness, and the collapse of the psychic machinery that organizes ordinary consciousness.

Keywords

trauma fiction, psychoanalytic literature, ego dissolution, catastrophic witness, guilt and desire, traumatic stillness, phenomenology of grief, erotic fixation, death and consciousness, existential fiction, moral ambiguity, psychic paralysis, ecological consciousness, shame and fantasy, traumatic interruption, literary realism, ontological crisis, contemporary literary fiction, desire after tragedy, philosophical fiction

Read More
A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes (ROUND 9)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes (ROUND 9)

“A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” is a poem about inheritance: not genetic inheritance, nor merely familial inheritance, but the inheritance of imaginative habits, comic sensibilities, and ways of seeing the world. On its surface, the poem appears to concern Becky, an exhibitionistic woman whose obsessive use of the Gut Puncher™ has transformed her anatomy into an object of public fascination and private myth. Yet the poem's deeper subject is the conversion of vernacular obscenity into literature. It explores what happens when a tradition of bawdy folk humor is subjected to extraordinary imaginative pressure and elevated into a dense, allusive poetic form without sacrificing its vulgar roots.

The dedication to the speaker's grandmother is essential to understanding the poem's ambitions. Unlike elegies that memorialize the dead through reverence or solemnity, this poem honors its dedicatee through continuity of sensibility. The grandmother functions less as an individual character than as a representative of a familial comic tradition. The poem's obscenity is therefore not merely transgressive. It is affectionate. Its vulgarity operates as an inherited language of intimacy, remembrance, and belonging.

This dynamic helps explain one of the poem's most distinctive features: its refusal to recognize stable boundaries between high and low culture. Disney, cryptozoology, Hitchcock, Georgia O'Keeffe, marine ecology, carnival grotesquerie, and sexual slang coexist within the same imaginative field. The poem continually juxtaposes cultural registers that many readers would regard as incompatible. Yet the result is not randomness. Rather, the poem argues—through its very structure—that the distinction between refined and vulgar modes of imagination is far less substantial than cultural gatekeepers often suppose.

The title introduces this project immediately. “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” borrowed from Cinderella, evokes innocence, fantasy, and sentimental aspiration. Yet the poem's central spectacle could hardly appear further removed from Disney's moral universe. This contrast is not simply ironic. Instead, it establishes a collision between two competing traditions of storytelling: one sanitized, commercialized, and respectable; the other earthy, bodily, excessive, and comic. Throughout the poem, the latter repeatedly overwhelms the former.

The opening movement introduces Becky through the perspective of spectators:

Any thumb-twiddler humming (“Mm hm-mm”) beneath Becky
on a mall escalator, let alone any hunter of Jones Beach Bigfoot

The Bigfoot comparison is revealing. Becky is not framed as merely erotic. She is framed as anomalous. Her anatomy has become so transformed by her devotion to the Gut Puncher™ that ordinary categories seem inadequate. The poem's imagination responds accordingly, recruiting increasingly elaborate analogies in an effort to account for what it encounters.

This process drives the poem's remarkable metaphorical proliferation. Anatomy becomes extraterrestrial:

alien slugs, ET undulants

It becomes botanical:

like a postdoc botanist before an uncatalogued jungle flower

It becomes artistic:

Georgia O'Queef herself

It becomes zoological, geological, and eventually ecological.

These comparisons are not attempts to obscure what is being described. On the contrary, the poem continually reminds the reader of the physical reality underlying the imagery. Becky is obsessively using an enormous dildo. Her body has been altered by that practice. The imagination does not flee from these facts. It circles them repeatedly, generating metaphor after metaphor in an effort to absorb their implications.

The result is a form of grotesque realism that recalls the tradition associated with figures such as Rabelais and Chaucer. Like those writers, the poem treats the body not as something shameful but as a site of comic revelation. Bodily excess becomes a source of knowledge. The grotesque becomes a means of enlarging rather than diminishing human experience.

The introduction of the Gut Puncher™ marks a crucial shift:

that suction-bottomed black Popeye fist

The object is simultaneously ridiculous and monumental. It functions as a comic artifact while also assuming mythological significance. Its exaggerated scale allows the poem to explore the relationship between desire and transformation. Becky is not simply using the toy. She is reorganizing herself around it.

This concern becomes especially visible in the description of the anus as:

that one surviving gullet

The phrase captures the poem's peculiar blend of humor and seriousness. It exaggerates anatomy into architecture, suggesting a body reshaped by repetition and obsession. What might have remained a crude joke becomes a meditation on how desire leaves material traces upon the self.

The poem repeatedly returns to this idea. Becky's fixation is not presented as a passing appetite but as a way of life. Her body has become an archive of her habits. Her anatomy records her history.

The exhibitionist dimension of the poem deepens this theme:

the crow's crazed cawing, its Hitchcockian head smashes
at the uncurtained window pane of her exhibitionist kink

Here the body becomes spectacle. Yet the spectacle is not passive. Becky appears almost to collaborate in her own mythologization. The exhibitionist impulse transforms private practice into public theater.

This theatricality helps explain the poem's recurring fascination with audiences. Again and again, the speaker imagines observers: escalator riders, cryptid hunters, crows, botanists, scavenging birds. The body becomes a stage upon which competing modes of interpretation play out.

The final image provides the poem's most expansive metaphor:

like a child gathering flopping fish ...
in the majestic drawback of a tsunami sea

The tsunami comparison transforms anatomy into landscape. What had begun as bodily comedy becomes a scene of revelation. The withdrawing sea exposes hidden terrain, making visible what is ordinarily concealed.

This image encapsulates the poem's central method. It continually uncovers hidden continuities between domains that culture tends to separate: obscenity and wonder, comedy and reverence, folk humor and literary art.

The author's note reinforces this interpretation. The speaker explicitly situates himself within a family tradition of bawdy storytelling while simultaneously acknowledging his distance from that tradition. He has carried its sensibility into literary territory his relatives themselves would never occupy. This tension between continuity and estrangement haunts the poem. It is an act of homage that also bears witness to social mobility, educational alienation, and cultural translation.

The references to Chaucer are especially revealing. The speaker recognizes in canonical literature the same impulses that animated the jokes of his family. The poem therefore rejects the assumption that sophisticated art and vulgar humor belong to separate worlds. Instead, it suggests that they are manifestations of the same imaginative energy.

What ultimately distinguishes “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” is its refusal to abandon either side of this inheritance. The poem is simultaneously learned and crude, literary and oral, affectionate and grotesque. Its achievement lies in showing that these apparent opposites need not be reconciled because they were never truly separate to begin with.

At its deepest level, the poem is a tribute to a familial worldview in which laughter survives embarrassment, where bodily absurdity becomes a source of connection, and where imagination refuses to recognize the boundaries that polite culture imposes upon it. Becky may occupy the center of the spectacle, but the poem's enduring subject is the transformation of inherited vernacular humor into a literary art capable of carrying memory, affection, and identity across generations.

Meta Description

A grotesque-comic poem that transforms familial bawdy humor into literary art, exploring inheritance, obsession, bodily transformation, class memory, and the porous boundary between folk obscenity and high culture.

Keywords

grotesque realism, familial inheritance, bawdy humor, literary vulgarity, class memory, Chaucerian comedy, Rabelaisian tradition, body and identity, obsession, bodily transformation, exhibitionism, vernacular culture, folk humor, high and low culture, literary maximalism, contemporary poetry analysis, comic excess, cultural translation, family memory, grotesque poetics

Read More
The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 5)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Art of Subtraction (ROUND 5)

“The Art of Subtraction” is a poem about ego erosion under the pressure of paternity, memory, and inherited masculine failure. At its surface it reads as a meditation on parenting and generational continuity, but at a deeper psychoanalytic level it stages a confrontation between the narcissistic structure of the self and the destabilizing presence of the child as both mirror and future. The poem is not simply about a father observing his son; it is about a father discovering that the act of observation itself is a form of disintegration. To look at the child is to encounter both one’s origin and one’s obsolescence at once.

The title, “The Art of Subtraction,” frames this process in explicitly aesthetic and ethical terms. Subtraction is not loss but discipline: a cultivated reduction of self-importance, a trained withdrawal from centrality. Yet the poem immediately destabilizes the idea that this subtraction is voluntary or serene. Instead, it emerges as something closer to psychic attrition. The speaker does not gracefully renounce the self; he is worn down by the unbearable visibility of his son.

The opening declaration is crucial:

I isolate. Like my own father before me, it takes
everything inside me—no longer promising—
to look straight at my son.

The syntax already enacts strain. The phrase “I isolate” is blunt, almost clinical, but it is immediately followed by genealogical recursion: “Like my own father before me.” Isolation is not merely a personal disposition but an inherited pattern. This inheritance is not neutral; it is transmitted as affective damage. The father cannot simply see his son; he must overcome an internalized aversion to direct relational presence.

The phrase “no longer promising” is especially significant. It suggests the collapse of an earlier self-image in which paternal relation may have been imagined as generative, hopeful, or affirming. That promise has been withdrawn. What remains is effort without reward, attention without consolation.

From the beginning, then, the poem frames fatherhood as an encounter with difficulty in perception itself. The son is not only seen; he is almost too much to be seen.

The next movement introduces a key psychoanalytic motif: avoidance as inherited gesture.

I have inherited the need to twist talk away
from dreams, the shifty eyes that would bug me
enough to keep leaping into their line.

Here, avoidance is not simply behavioral but somatic: “shifty eyes,” bodily evasions, micro-gestures of disconnection. The father recognizes in himself the repetition of his own father’s evasiveness. What is inherited is not authority but incapacity for directness.

This produces a paradoxical structure: the speaker is hyper-aware of relational failure precisely at the moment he attempts relational presence. The more he tries to “look straight,” the more he experiences inherited distortion.

The child, meanwhile, appears as both vivid presence and destabilizing force:

From within
I see—in belated empathy for the dead—how
hard it is to face the gaze: energized, hopeful.

The gaze of the child is not neutral. It is “energized, hopeful”—qualities that are not merely emotional but existentially accusatory. The child’s vitality becomes a mirror that exposes the father’s depletion. This is where the poem begins to articulate its central psychic tension: the child is both object of love and agent of destabilization.

Memory intrudes in fragmented, sensory form:

How strange what persists in memory: my boy,
his little nose (“Bip it. Bop it.”) in the bathroom
mirror…

The detail is disarmingly domestic, almost comic in its specificity. Yet its affective function is complex. The child’s speech is not fully linguistic; it is playful distortion, pre-symbolic sound. The mirror introduces doubling, self-recognition, and developmental threshold. The bathroom—site of bodily maintenance—becomes the space where identity formation is observed in miniature.

The poem repeatedly insists that memory does not organize itself according to significance. Instead, it preserves arbitrary intensity. The father cannot control what remains vivid; the child’s presence persists as involuntary imprint.

This leads to one of the poem’s most important philosophical gestures:

To call that the full story—
that, if I am honest, would be more vain evasion.

Here, narrative itself is treated as a form of defense. To construct coherence would be to evade the truth of psychic fragmentation. The poem resists totalizing interpretation because totalization would falsify experience.

The second movement deepens the psychological entanglement by collapsing developmental time:

His claustrophobic gab of vigor, a wormhole back
to myself young…

The child is not only son but temporal conduit. The speaker experiences regression through observation. Fatherhood becomes a structure of recursive self-recovery: the child reactivates the father’s own childhood while simultaneously marking its irreversibility.

The phrase “wormhole” is particularly revealing. It suggests non-linear time, collapse of spatial-temporal separation, and involuntary transit between selves. Yet the movement is not liberating. It is claustrophobic. The past does not open; it closes in.

This culminates in the bathroom mirror scene, where the self becomes juridical object:

I look down, look at me,
like an ankle-cuffed criminal ushered into court
for his disgrace.

The mirror no longer reflects identity but judgment. The father becomes both defendant and witness. The body is no longer neutral; it is evidence.

The introduction of Apollo is the poem’s metaphysical pivot:

carved
there… is Apollo’s torso, marble and mirror,
hurling even more dazzle: “You must change your life”

The invocation of Rilke’s famous injunction transforms the bathroom into an aesthetic-theological space. Apollo represents idealized form, beauty, transcendence, and the demand for transformation. Yet the poem immediately fractures this authority:

“Face it. Your time is over.”

The Apollo image thus becomes double-edged: simultaneously exhortation and annihilation. Beauty demands transformation, but also declares obsolescence. The self is summoned toward improvement while being dismissed as structurally finished.

The poem’s central philosophical tension emerges here: is self-overcoming a form of liberation or a recognition of terminal decline?

The final movement resolves this tension not through synthesis but through ethical resignation:

“Become he who can bear not being
the center…”

This is the explicit formulation of subtraction. Ego is not abolished but decentered. The self is re-educated into marginality. Importantly, this is not presented as punishment but as apprenticeship: “train the spirit,” “apprentice oneself.”

The influence of Rilke is explicit, but the poem’s tone is more psychologically ambivalent than mystical. Subtraction is not transcendence; it is adaptation to diminished centrality.

The father’s own father returns as final haunting figure:

his head bowed
over beer cans stacked high…

Here inheritance becomes visual and affective rather than conceptual. Masculine failure is embodied in posture, accumulation, and exhaustion. The speaker recognizes continuity not only of behavior but of limitation.

The poem ends in a paradox:

if I fail, at least I walk beside him.

This final line refuses resolution between anxiety and consolation. Failure is not overcome. Instead, it is transformed into relational proximity. The father-child bond persists not through success but through shared vulnerability.

The deepest psychoanalytic insight of the poem is therefore this: subtraction of ego does not eliminate suffering, but it may redistribute it away from isolation. The self does not become smaller in a purely liberating sense; it becomes less defended. And in that reduction of defense, relational presence—however fragile—becomes possible.

“The Art of Subtraction” thus stages a transformation of subjectivity from centered authority to decentered accompaniment. It is not a poem about becoming less, but about becoming less alone in the experience of not being central.

Meta Description

A psychoanalytic and philosophical reading of paternal ego dissolution, generational inheritance, narcissistic decentering, and the tension between self-erasure and relational presence in father–son consciousness.

Keywords

paternal psychology, ego subtraction, Rilke influence, psychoanalytic poetry, generational inheritance, narcissism and decentering, father-son relationship, mirror stage, memory fragmentation, existential decline, subjectivity and authority, relational ontology, trauma and masculinity, contemporary lyric analysis, philosophical poetry criticism, identity dissolution, developmental temporality

Read More

blog

FAQ

Visit my Substack: Hive Being

Visit my Substack: Hive Being


Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)


Featured Blog Posts

in how many dreams might you
have appeared last night—
all those met along the way?