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What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?

You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.

In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.

My Journey

I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.  

The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.

Call for Co-Conspirators

This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.

Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).

You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.

My Hope

Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.

People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.

My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.

What to Expect

My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.

By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.

But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.

Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!

Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.

Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2016--FULL YEAR)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2016--FULL YEAR)

The 2016 installment of "Made for You and Me" — the first chapter of the hive Being project — is both foundation and overture. Where the 2017 sequence arrived already in full command of its method, the 2016 installment is the form discovering itself: more exploratory in its range, more willing to sit with pure image rather than argument, and in certain stretches more nakedly elegiac. It is also, in aggregate, the sequence's most sustained meditation on the comedy of embodiment — the relentless, undignified, often hilarious fact of having a body that farts and ages and desires and fails and finally stops. That this comedy is inseparable from the sequence's deepest pathos is the 2016 installment's central formal discovery.

The sequence opens on "yard sale dentures" and closes, after thousands of entries, on "those after us create the legends of our time" — a trajectory from the discarded remnants of a mouth to the future's act of meaning-making from our debris. This arc is not plotted but accumulated: the sequence does not argue toward its ending so much as arrive at it through the sheer weight of everything that precedes it. The dentures establish the governing tonal register immediately — objects that were intimate, functional, intimate again in their abandonment, and faintly comic in their visibility at a yard sale. The sequence's characteristic move is present from the first entry: the domestic object carrying more than it appears to carry, the ordinary surface concealing and revealing simultaneously.

The form's most distinctive feature in the 2016 installment is its treatment of pure image. Where the 2017 installments frequently extend into argument and aphorism — three-line stanzas that build a position, turn it, qualify it — the 2016 sequence includes a higher proportion of entries that are purely observational, refusing to do anything with what they notice except notice it. "The drowsy dog / raises an ear of alertness / at the sound of his own fart" is not an argument about anything. It is a moment rendered with the precision of a haiku and the comic timing of a perfect joke. "Monarch butterflies suckling dog shit, / their pleasure too intense to care / about being blindsided with a rock" is similarly pure — the juxtaposition of beauty and squalor held without comment, the butterflies' absorption in their pleasure rendering them vulnerable to a violence the poem does not enact but names. These entries trust the image to do all the work, and that trust is itself a formal argument: attention is sufficient; the world, attended to without agenda, is already extraordinary.

The body is the 2016 sequence's most persistent subject, and its treatment of the body is more consistently comic here than in the 2017 installments. The sequence attends to the body's indignities — "farts that interrupt the urine stream," "the shiver after urination," "nitrogen bloat in compacted intestines," "the groan it takes her to exit the sedan" — with an affectionate specificity that refuses both aestheticization and contempt. These are not grotesque details deployed for shock; they are the simple truth of what it is to inhabit a body, rendered with the same quality of attention the sequence brings to dying stars and dying people. The body is comic because it is irreducible — it keeps insisting on itself at the worst moments, it has its own agenda, it will not be dignified by the mind's preferences. The sequence loves it for this.

The dying cluster in the 2016 installment is distributed more diffusely than in 2017, appearing throughout rather than concentrating in sustained meditation. "Hospice workers forever fazed by what not-alive looks like" achieves its effect through a single precise observation: even those who attend death professionally cannot habituate themselves fully to the specific appearance of the thing. "Watching someone die, / only in rare cases / do we want it to end" is among the entire project's most honest formulations — the acknowledgment that grief and love produce a desire for continuation even when continuation is cruelty. "The dead hand still warm" is three words and an entire experience. These entries work through compression and restraint, trusting that the reader brings everything necessary and needs only the trigger.

The addiction thread in 2016 is more autobiographical in feeling than the clinical observation of the 2017 sequence. "Those ecstatic times of highness in that ruining addiction of decades" names both the pleasure and the destruction without separating them — the ecstasy and the ruin are simultaneous, not sequential. "Fleeing the state to escape the drug" names the spatial delusion of addiction: the belief that geography can solve what is interior. "Confidence to quit only when high" is the sequence's most precise formulation of the addiction paradox — the only moment the mind feels sufficiently resourced to stop is the moment it has already stopped stopping. These entries do not moralize; they describe, with the accuracy of someone who has been inside the experience.

The sequence's racial intelligence in 2016 operates somewhat differently than in 2017, with more of the entries working through image and narrative rather than argument. "NWA bumping through an anachronistic boombox / during that barn train: 'She only fourteen and a ho, / but the bitch suck dick like a specialized pro!'" stages the collision of musical vernacular and material reality without editorializing — the anachronism is the point, the barn train context is the point, and the lyric's content acquires a different charge in that staging than it carries as pure cultural product. "The child's love for his maid transcended / color, but soon enough the world / convinced him she was just his tool" is a miniature bildungsroman of racial socialization — the education into seeing that overwrites the child's original clarity.

The theological and cosmological entries in 2016 establish the metaphysical frame that the 2017 sequence will elaborate. "The sun was once the most sensible candidate for god" is epistemologically serious — not a dismissal of religious thought but a recognition that solar worship was rational given the available evidence. "Out of all the wormhole bubbles of the quantum cradle / prior to the Big Bang, the bubble that kept expanding — / our universe — did so by the blow of a sufficient cause" engages the cosmological argument from within the language of contemporary physics, neither capitulating to easy theism nor dismissing the question. "Before stars awoke, the so-called 'primordial chaos' preordained the seeds, / and all the chrysalid resonance patterns of their unfurling, that would bloom / gateways — as came to be here, now, through us — to post-physical songlines" is among the project's most ambitious single entries, tracing an arc from pre-cosmic condition through stellar genesis to human consciousness to something beyond it, all in three lines.

The Amway thread is one of the 2016 installment's most sustained satirical inventions, and it deserves attention as a formal device. The sequence of Ambot speakers — Sapphire, Emerald, Diamond, Double Diamond, Triple Diamond, Crown — each introducing their motivational wisdom with a pop song's opening bars, constitutes a parody of aspirational culture so precise that it becomes, paradoxically, moving. "Stop letting past failures stop you," / says the Emerald Ambot, the synth / opening on Survivor's 'Moment of Truth'" — the song choice is exact, the Ambot's rank appropriate, the wisdom simultaneously hollow and true. These entries are funny, but their comedy contains the specific pathos of sincere belief in a system that extracts what it promises to supply. The Amway thread is the 2016 sequence's sustained portrait of the American Dream's most naked and most pitiable institutional form.

"Sometimes the subject is not to be centered in the viewfinder" appears multiple times in the 2016 installment, operating as a formal refrain and a methodological self-description. The mosaic poem itself enacts this principle: no entry is centered, no subject is given the viewfinder's full attention, everything is caught at an angle or in peripheral vision. The instruction is simultaneously technical advice for photography and epistemological counsel for living — that the subject often reveals itself more fully when approached obliquely, that direct address can frighten away what patient attention would allow to emerge. The entry's repetition gives it the status of a governing principle rather than a single observation.

The "condemning gay sex on grounds that..." series is the 2016 installment's most formally inventive satirical sequence. Each entry follows the same structural template — a stated ground for condemnation, followed by an equally arbitrary "even as you" that exposes the inconsistency — but the grounds and the comparisons accumulate into a comprehensive demolition of the logical bases for the position. The sequence is not hostile to religious belief; it is hostile to inconsistency, to the selective application of principle, to the use of moral argument as cover for preference. The comedy of each entry depends on the precision of the "even as you" — the comparison must be exact enough to expose the double standard without being so distant as to become mere absurdism. "Condemning gay sex on grounds / that Leviticus unequivocally forbids it / even as you toss pigskin footballs and savor lobster and trim your beard" is a complete logical argument in three lines, requiring nothing additional.

The closing movement of the 2016 installment gathers toward its final entries with a quality of earned exhaustion — not defeat but satiation, the mind having moved through enough of the world's material to arrive at something like rest. "The spirit, stealing a glimpse up at the blue / vastness, once again starts rattling the bars / of a world sequestered to concrete slivers" is the sequence's image of its own aspiration: the spirit confined to the fragment, the aphorism, the limited view, but always reaching toward something larger. "We announce ourselves, if only for own ears, proclaiming / our awakened state through the dark beyond dumb matter / wondering what in the void might quicken and speak" names the project's deepest bet — that attention, articulation, the refusal to let experience pass unnamed, is itself a form of reaching into the void and asking whether something answers.

"Those after us create the legends of our time" closes the sequence on an act of faith in retrospection — that the meaning of what has been accumulated here will be made by those who come later, reading from a distance the hive's full roar, finding in its fragments the portrait of a moment that did not know what it was but kept attending, kept noting, kept insisting on the full range of what it meant to be alive and aware at this particular point in the strange, brief, extraordinary experiment of human consciousness.

Meta Description

The 2016 installment of "Made for You and Me" — the founding document of the hive Being project — discovers the mosaic form through sustained attention to embodiment, dying, addiction, racial socialization, cosmological inquiry, and the comedy of ordinary life, arriving through sheer accumulated weight at a faith in retrospection: that those who come after will make the legends of this time from its fragments.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, 2016 sequence, mosaic poem, embodiment poetry, yard sale dentures, Amway satire, condemning gay sex series, sometimes the subject, viewfinder poetics, addiction phenomenology, racial socialization, cosmological inquiry, comedy and pathos, fragment poetics, contemporary American poetry, founding document, accumulated attention, aphoristic poetry, human consciousness, retrospection and legend

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--FULL YEAR))
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--FULL YEAR))

The complete 2017 sequence of "Made for You and Me 2" is the most ambitious document in the project — a mosaic poem of extraordinary length that constitutes, in aggregate, a full phenomenological portrait of American consciousness at a specific historical moment. Where individual installments establish the method and demonstrate its range, the complete sequence reveals the project's true scale: not a collection of aphorisms but a single, continuous act of witness, a sustained attempt to hold the entire bandwidth of human experience — from the cosmological to the scatological, from the tenderly domestic to the politically volcanic — within a form capacious enough to refuse nothing and organize everything by adjacency rather than argument.

The sequence's governing formal wager is that meaning emerges from accumulation and juxtaposition rather than from development or resolution. No single entry explains or leads to the next; each stands at its own irreducible frequency while the aggregate produces something that no individual entry could generate alone. The reader who attempts to move through the sequence linearly will experience something close to cognitive saturation — the sensation of being inside a consciousness processing everything simultaneously, unable to rank or filter, committed to attending to the full range of what it means to be alive and aware in this particular historical moment. This saturation is not failure of organization but the form's central argument: that the attempt to organize, rank, or filter contemporary experience according to any single principle is itself a form of violence against its irreducible complexity.

The sequence's treatment of mortality constitutes its deepest thematic current, running beneath everything else as the ground from which all other observations grow. Dying appears not as a subject among subjects but as the medium through which nearly every other observation is refracted — the dying-literacy argument distributed across dozens of entries, the hospice and bedside observations, the dying done well and done poorly, the medical prolongation of dying, the child allowed knowledge of his dying only when parents leave the room, the "do not go to your death as an amateur" imperative. What accumulates is a sustained argument that the culture's relationship to death is the index of its relationship to everything else — that a civilization unable to attend to dying honestly will be unable to attend honestly to anything. The sequence does not moralize this argument; it demonstrates it by placing death at the center of the mosaic's field of gravity, letting every other observation orbit it at varying distances.

Race is the sequence's most volatile and most carefully sustained subject, and what distinguishes its treatment from either simple critique or simple provocation is the consistency with which it refuses the available political positions. The sequence attacks progressive paternalism — the "predatory help industry," the dependency culture, the lowering of standards in the name of protection — with genuine intellectual force and without the comfort of a safe ideological address. It simultaneously attacks the racial mythology that has historically justified that paternalism and continues to justify its contemporary forms. The factory farming and slavery parallel, the corpses sold for anatomy lessons, the slave on the auction block contradicting seller exaggerations about his own hardiness — these entries hold the history without allowing it to become an alibi for the present. The sequence's racial intelligence is precisely its refusal to allow any position — progressive or conservative, Black nationalist or integrationist — to rest comfortably within its field of attention.

The sequence's treatment of sexuality and the body is similarly refusal-based, operating through the deployment of explicit content not as provocation but as insistence on the body's full presence in any honest account of human experience. The sexual entries are not distributed as titillation across an otherwise serious text; they are integrated into the same field as dying, politics, theology, and aesthetics, governed by the same quality of attention. The smoked aroma on the vibrator weeks after the ice-cream-tub marathon, the play-acting drunk beneath Mom's squirting cowgirl, the moral alibi of the sofa blanket — these entries carry the same analytical weight as the theological arguments and the racial observations because the sequence refuses the conventional hierarchy that treats the body as beneath the dignity of serious thought. Insisting on the body's full presence is itself an argument: that any account of human experience that excludes or aestheticizes the sexual and the scatological is producing a lie about what it is to be human.

The theological thread constitutes the sequence's most philosophically sustained argument, distributed across dozens of entries that collectively constitute a serious engagement with the problem of God rather than a simple dismissal. The pantheist entries — "it is impossible for us to exist estranged completely from that of which / we are completely a function" — stand alongside the skeptical ones, the critiques of organized religion alongside the genuinely awed encounters with the Muslim call to prayer and the possibility of divine light. The sequence does not arrive at atheism; it arrives at a position more complex and more honest — a sustained inquiry into what the concept of God requires, what it cannot accommodate, and what legitimate human experience it is attempting to address. The entries about beings unworthy of worship — beings who prioritize belief over good deeds, who subject finite beings to infinite torture, who need constant reassurance — constitute not a rejection of divinity but a demand for a conception of divinity adequate to the human intuitions it claims to ground.

The addiction cluster is among the sequence's most compassionate and most precisely observed sustained engagements. The entries on addiction do not moralize or pathologize but render the phenomenology of dependency — the addict's promise to the mirror, the part that says "this time at least don't get as bad as before," the subtle shift from using drugs to work to working to use drugs, the one bad trip opening the door, the having money to be a functioning addict — with the same quality of attention the sequence brings to dying and theology. Addiction is understood here not as moral failure but as a form of relationship, often the most reliable relationship available to the person whose other relationships have failed or been foreclosed. The sequence's most devastating addiction entry — "a kid raped so bad thank God he found drugs" — refuses the therapeutic framework that treats substance use as the problem rather than the solution to a prior and more devastating problem.

The sequence's aesthetic self-consciousness is most explicit in its entries about art, writing, and the creative life — a thread that constitutes a sustained ars poetica distributed across the full length of the work. "No matter what you might hear, it is impossible to be / a bad house guest of the World-All" is an aesthetic principle as much as a metaphysical one. "An artist fearful of causing offense is closer to a jingle-writing ad-man" is a direct statement of the sequence's own commitments. The entries about artists needing to be away from the work of other artists, about the license art gives to neglect loved ones, about excellence for which the price of potential humiliation is too high, about seclusion as sacrifice rather than indulgence — these constitute a self-portrait of the conditions under which a project of this ambition and this duration is possible, and the costs it exacts.

The sequence's closing movement — "ours, for always / you too are an I" — arrives after the sustained cacophony of the full mosaic as something close to benediction. "You too are an I" is the sequence's deepest ethical claim, stated with the simplicity available only after the full complexity has been traversed. The entire project — the thousands of fragments, the full range of registers and subjects, the refusal to rank or filter — has been building toward this: the recognition of the other's inner life as the ground of all ethical responsibility and all genuine attention. The mosaic form is itself a demonstration of this claim: every entry, however brief or apparently trivial, is the record of a consciousness attending to something that mattered to it, and the act of attending constitutes the recognition the sequence finally names.

What the complete 2017 sequence of "Made for You and Me 2" achieves is nothing less than a formal argument for a particular mode of consciousness — one that attends to everything without ranking, that holds contradiction without resolving it, that insists on the full presence of the body and the full seriousness of the spirit, that refuses every available comfort of ideology or aesthetics or moral certainty. The hive does not explain itself. It hums at every frequency simultaneously, and the cumulative sound is the most honest account of American experience that the project's extraordinary ambition can produce.

Meta Description

The complete 2017 sequence of "Made for You and Me 2" — a mosaic poem of extraordinary length and ambition — constitutes a full phenomenological portrait of American consciousness: refusing to rank or filter the body, mortality, race, theology, addiction, sexuality, and aesthetic self-consciousness, it builds through adjacency and accumulation toward its final benediction, "you too are an I," as the ground of all genuine attention and all ethical responsibility.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, complete 2017 sequence, mosaic poem, phenomenological portrait, dying-literacy, racial paternalism, addiction phenomenology, theological inquiry, aesthetic self-consciousness, aphoristic poetry, adjacency and accumulation, cognitive saturation, American consciousness, contemporary American poetry, ars poetica, body and spirit, ethical attention, benediction, fragment poetics, full bandwidth witness

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 98)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 98)

In the closing movements of MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: Hive Being, the poetic voice operates not through the harmonious synthesis of American mythos, but through a brutal, kaleidoscopic assemblage of cultural debris, existential dread, and psychological exposure. Taking its title from the utopian refrain of Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land,” the text functions as an intentional irony: the “you and me” of this landscape is not a sunlit expanse of shared democratic promise, but a crowded, claustrophobic hive of collective trauma, vulgarity, and irreducible mortality. Through a sequence of aphoristic, fragmented stanzas, this section constructs an aesthetics of the edge—a realm where existential philosophy intersects with the grimy, hyper-specific colloquialisms of late-capitalist American life. By examining the dialectical tensions between the abject and the sacred, determinism and agency, and social performance versus internal unraveling, we uncover a work that demands a reckoning with what it means to exist as an “I” within the overwhelming totality of the hive. I. The Abject Horizon: Transgression as Existential Mirror The section opens by plunging the reader directly into the abject. Julia Kristeva posits in Powers of Horror that the abject is that which disturbs system, order, and identity—the borderland where the body confronts its own material decay and taboo desires. The juxtaposition in the opening line—hidden-camera doggy-style peace signs—the garage-sale VHS labeled “Rectal Rooter”—establishes an aesthetic where countercultural idealism (“peace signs”) has been thoroughly commodified and degraded into forgotten, grotesque media artifacts. This tension between the sublime and the profane recurs throughout the stanzas. The "farmer napes leatherized by their ultraviolet god" transforms labor and sun exposure into a pagan ritual where skin is "scored in bloodless diamonds." The sun is not a benevolent force of growth, but an indifferent, searing deity. Similarly, the dark humor of at least the house fire killed all the roaches—“mahfuckas wanted warmth, huh?” illustrates a defense mechanism against catastrophic loss. Pain is blunted through gallows humor, framing destruction as a grotesque irony. Furthermore, images of "neonatal cock sleeves," "bukkake gangbangs," and "carpet boots" function as deliberate shock-probes designed to dismantle bourgeois sensibilities, forcing an encounter with the raw, uncensored mechanics of human desire and disgust. Rather than relying on gratuitous vulgarity, these images serve an essential philosophical purpose: they strip away theoretical abstractions, forcing consciousness to confront its grounding in visceral, decaying matter. II. Determinism, Finitude, and the Violence of Being Underlying the sequence's chaotic imagery is a persistent philosophical inquiry into determinism, mortality, and Martin Heidegger’s concept of Geworfenheit (thrownness)—the state of being cast into a world without prior consent. The stanza observing that a land that pathologizes sadness / would have us ignore the truth: / our finitude, our thrownness directly critiques contemporary society’s imperative toward forced positivity, identifying it as an erasure of fundamental existential truths. The poem repeatedly confronts suicide, decay, and the illusion of control. In the lines describing the man who needed to take off his shoes before he jumped / off the bridge to end himself, and before that / he needed to pee first, the text highlights the terrifying intrusion of mundane physical needs into the gravest existential acts, stripping suicide of romanticism. Later, the image of bugs rising up to the tree zapper in a slow helix seduced by glory, only to drop in a line serves as a bleak allegory for human ambition; seduced by illumination, the collective moves predictably toward its own destruction. Even identity and biology are destabilized under this deterministic lens. The stanza detailing the unmaking a billion years of sex differences in one third-period microplastic wig out captures the blurring of evolutionary biology and industrial pollution, suggesting that human ingenuity inevitably undoes its own foundational categories. Meanwhile, the assertion that history steps outside for a cigarette break now and then frames human events not as a grand, teleological march toward enlightenment, but as an intermittent, chaotic sequence of accidents occurring within an unyielding deterministic framework. III. The Fractured Social Fabric: Tribalism, Race, and Performance The "Hive Being" of the title implies an inescapable interconnectedness, yet the text continuously highlights the friction, prejudice, and isolation that define modern social relations. The poem refuses safe political platitudes, opting instead to present uncomfortable social anxieties in their unvarnished state. In the lines addressing urban paranoia and racial profiling, the speaker acts as an unfiltered observer of social mechanisms, challenging the reader to confront the unspoken calculations of fear, privilege, and societal breakdown. The text quickly shifts this psychological strain to a global, geopolitical scale when describing how child pockets bulge with rocks—not ones / found too pretty to leave in the dirt, but ones / that by some magic of youth will stop tanks. Here, the innocence of childhood is weaponized by desperation; the "magic of youth" is recontextualized not as play, but as asymmetric resistance where toys become anti-tank munitions. Furthermore, the poem repeatedly examines the concept of performance as self-preservation. The observation that not being the person you were trained to perform / is not a contradiction even if you are the one / who trained yourself to perform it echoes Jean-Paul Sartre’s concept of bad faith (mauvaise foi). The self is framed as a continuous, exhausting theatrical act where the actor and the director are trapped in the same mind. In a parallel move, the advice to never discipline an artist for doing what an artist does: holding up hurtful mirrors positions the creative force as an exile whose social utility lies precisely in their refusal to conform to polite consensus. IV. Aesthetic Architecture and the Epigrammatic Form Structurally, this portion of MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2 functions through staccato montage. The abrupt transitions between raw street observations, psychological trauma, political satire, and quiet tenderness mirror the modern sensory experience—a hyper-mediated stream of consciousness where tragedy and triviality occupy the same attention span. Consider the swift juxtaposition across three distinct stanzas: Sticking yourself into the tribe so that what underpins that tribe stands out against what underpins you. Hoping this time, this night sleepless, to remember differently that wretched scene long ago. The former pinup model hitting on young men in her eighties still with the old having way. The sudden shifts in scale—from a sweeping sociological critique of tribal identity, to an intimate moment of insomnia and trauma, to an elderly pin-up model maintaining her seductive posture—create an overwhelming sense of temporal compression. Time is actively eroding everything, leading toward the eventual reality that the rain eats away even your name in stone. Yet, despite this pervasive nihilism, the sequence concludes with a subtle, resonant turn toward radical empathy and ontological recognition. The final movement transitions away from the inevitable decay of memory toward an unmistakable affirmation: ours, for always you too are an I Conclusion: The Hive as a Mirror In MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: Hive Being (Stanzas 2017—part 98), the text ultimately presents a vision of humanity that is dirty, traumatized, hyper-intelligent, and profoundly vulnerable. By collecting the discarded fragments of American life—from garage-sale videotapes and subway violence to philosophical meditations on determinism and grief—the poem constructs a monument to the endurance of consciousness amidst chaos. It asserts that to exist in the "hive" is to be bruised by the proximity of others, to be horrified by one's own finitude, and yet, in the absolute darkness of that realization, to recognize the subjective reality of the other: "you too are an I." It is a poetic achievement that demands we look into the "hurtful mirror" and refuse to turn away.

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Sly and the Family Phones (ROUND 1)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Sly and the Family Phones (ROUND 1)

Sly and the Family Phones is a deliberately disturbing poem about the sexualization of childhood through the visual grammar of digital pornography. Its central tension comes from the collision between two incompatible frameworks: the ordinary physical reality of children’s bodies and the adult-coded language of erotic performance imposed upon that reality. The poem stages this collision through the metaphor of a family video production, where phones transform private life into spectacle and where even childhood interactions become filtered through the expectations of online sexual imagery.

The title, “Sly and the Family Phones,” immediately signals the poem’s cultural argument. By replacing “Stone” from Sly and the Family Stone with “Phones,” the poem suggests that the smartphone has become the dominant organizing force of contemporary family life. The phone is not merely a device for recording events; it supplies the interpretive framework through which events are understood. Family members become performers, directors, and viewers within a technological theater.

The poem’s most important strategy is its use of filmmaking vocabulary:

POV gonzo B-cam
A-cam dad

The language evokes not ordinary home videos but the conventions of internet pornography. “POV” and “gonzo” suggest an intimate, immersive style of viewing in which the camera appears to eliminate distance between observer and subject. By assigning these roles to family members, the poem implies that the pornographic gaze has migrated into domestic space. The family scene is no longer simply experienced; it is staged, directed, and evaluated.

The father’s role is particularly significant. His command to the child uses the language of sexual performance rather than parental guidance. The poem portrays him not simply as an individual behaving badly but as a figure shaped by a larger culture in which pornographic scripts have become normalized. He functions as a director who attempts to impose an adult visual logic onto a child’s confused physical interaction.

The preschool boy’s hesitation is therefore crucial. The opening phrase—

Tongue shy

—does more than describe reluctance. It establishes a moral and psychological resistance. The child senses that the instruction he is receiving does not correspond to his own understanding of the situation. His failure to follow the direction is not merely comic incompetence; it represents a moment in which instinctive innocence interrupts a corrupted script.

The poem’s most unsettling effect comes from the contrast between anatomical precision and childhood softness. The older sister’s body is described through the term:

mons

a word chosen for its anatomical specificity and its ability to carry adult sexual associations. Yet the poem immediately complicates that association:

(baby chub, for all her lip)

The phrase forces the reader to hold two perceptions at once. The body is approaching a stage where adult categories begin to intrude, but it still retains the softness and ambiguity of childhood. The poem’s discomfort emerges precisely because the sexual gaze and the child’s actual physical reality do not belong together.

The boy’s mistake is the poem’s central irony. The adult-directed interpretation of …the adult-directed interpretation of the scene demands one kind of reading, but the child’s own perception resists it. He does not successfully execute the script imposed upon him because he does not possess the interpretive framework that the adults around him have supplied. His “mistake” therefore becomes the poem’s most important act of refusal: the child remains trapped between instruction and instinct, unable to convert the situation into the meaning demanded by the surrounding gaze.

This distinction is essential. The poem is not primarily interested in the child’s action; it is interested in the manufacturing of meaning around the child. The father and sister occupy the world of framing, direction, and performance, while the boy occupies the world of confusion and bodily immediacy. The comedy arises from this mismatch, but the comedy is inseparable from the poem’s indictment of the culture that has produced such a mismatch.

The phrase:

for all her lip

is especially important because it completes the poem’s strategy of unstable perception. The body is described through language that invites adult interpretation, but the poem immediately undercuts that interpretation by returning the reader to the physical reality of childhood. The sister is neither presented as a fully adult figure nor reduced to infancy. She occupies an uncomfortable threshold space we might call “tween”—and a terrible tween at that. The poem’s power comes from forcing the reader to confront not just the cultural but the biological impulse to impose adult categories onto bodies and experiences that—at least according to culture—remain outside those categories.

The closing image:

as if it were tuna soft serve

is the poem’s final act of grotesque compression. It merges appetite, childish play, disgust, and vulgar adult association into one deliberately jarring comparison. The phrase works because it collapses incompatible registers: the language of a child’s sensory world and the language of an adult’s corrupted imagination. The result is a kind of linguistic contamination, where even innocent imagery has been invaded by the culture of spectacle. In basic English, whether because eof the taste or because the boy has an inner sense that what he is being asked to do is wrong—he merely does fly-by licks instead of the steady tonguing, if not sucking, father and now daughter demand.

Formally, the poem’s short lines and abrupt enjambments mirror the fragmentation of digital viewing. Meanings arrive in pieces, forcing the reader to continually revise assumptions. The poem itself behaves like the media environment it critiques: it presents a series of quick visual cues, destabilizes them, and exposes how easily perception can be manipulated.

Ultimately, Sly and the Family Phones is a poem about the power of the gaze—specifically, how technologies of recording and consumption alter the way human beings see one another. The phone becomes a symbol not simply of surveillance but of a larger cultural habit: the conversion of experience into content. The poem’s disturbing force comes from the suggestion that once this way of seeing becomes normalized, even the most private and innocent spaces can be interpreted through the logic of performance, display, and consumption.

The final irony is that the child’s failure is the poem’s only moment of integrity. The boy cannot fully participate in the script being written around him because he does not yet see the world through the lens that has corrupted the adults. His confusion becomes an accidental form of resistance, revealing the gap between lived experience and the the steamiest of meanings imposed upon it.

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The Last Vestiges (ROUND 9)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Last Vestiges (ROUND 9)

"The Last Vestiges" is a poem about the inheritance of damage — specifically about the moment before a child absorbs, at a level below conscious understanding, that hope is a liability. Its twenty lines move through two stanzas with the controlled compression of a poem that knows exactly where it is going and delays arrival with precise formal patience, building toward a final image of devastating tenderness and devastating futility simultaneously: a small boy's fingers working the contours of a toy while the knowledge that will end his capacity for unguarded hope gathers around him like weather. The poem does not depict the moment of that absorption. It depicts the moment just before, which is the more unbearable vantage point — the reader positioned to see what is coming while the boy remains innocent of it, his fingers still moving.

The title names what the poem mourns with an exactness that repays attention. "Last vestiges" implies that something is almost entirely gone — the disappearing remainder of something once more present and more functional. "Vestiges" carries an evolutionary resonance that the poem earns: in biology, vestigial structures are remnants of features that once served a survival function but have been reduced by environmental pressure to near-nothingness, maintained in the organism's structure as evidence of what was once necessary. The cheer the mother brings to the door, the hope the boy still carries — these are vestigial in exactly this sense. They were adaptive once, in an environment that could sustain them. The environment has changed, and they are becoming liabilities, maintained only through effort that will eventually fail.

"Stage-1 meth-mouth mom" is the poem's first and most clinically precise characterization. "Stage-1" introduces a disease-progression framework — the staging of illness — that places the mother's condition within a trajectory rather than a state. The poem is set at the earliest point of visible damage, which means everything depicted here — the performance of cheer, the centrifugal hug, the ability to maintain the fiction of normalcy — is already deteriorating. Stage 2 is visible from Stage 1 to anyone who knows how to look. The boy does not yet know how to look. This is the poem's central dramatic irony, and it is established in the fifth word.

The opening image establishes the poem's entire social and emotional world in a dense, carefully organized cluster. The Happy Meal box battered, the fries stiff having "clocked / a night's share of miles" — the food is already spent before it arrives, a prop of ordinary maternal care that has traveled too far and too long to retain its original function. The Happy Meal is what good mothers bring; this Happy Meal is the husk of that gesture, the form without the content. The mother's sigh at the door arrives before she enters, the weariness preceding the performance.

"Into her childhood she whirlwinds" collapses the physical and psychological registers into a single motion. Dropping "home" — "into her childhood home she whirlwinds" becoming "into her childhood she whirlwinds" — means she is re-entering not merely a building but a prior self, a prior time, the childhood that precedes the damage. The whirlwind is both the energy of the performance and the quality of something that scatters and damages as it moves. The scooped-up toddler, the centrifugal hug: these are the whirlwind's contents.

"A centrifugal hug that streaks away her prom gaze / dusted on the mantel" holds two of the poem's most important formal operations in a single image. The centrifugal arc of the hug — spinning outward, flinging — physically streaks away the prom gaze that sits on the mantel. "Dusted" names Granny's active domestic upkeep: the prom gaze is being maintained, kept clean, preserved — an object of care in a home that is doing the work of preservation against the chaos the daughter's presence introduces. The detail is a quiet establishing shot of Granny before she appears at the stanza's end, her character visible in her objects before her body enters the poem. She is the one who dusts the mantel. She is the one who keeps the daughter's clean past intact even as the daughter's chaotic present arrives at the door. The centrifugal hug streaks away this carefully preserved image — the motion of maternal reunion briefly displacing the evidence of what the mother once was, the present overwhelming the past that Granny has been faithfully maintaining.

The Febreze and mascara as "cartoonified" concealment are the poem's twin symbols of performed adequacy. "Cartoonified" names a process by which something real has been rendered into a simplified, exaggerated version of itself — the way cartoon characters perform emotions with an amplitude that real faces cannot sustain. The curbside Febreze cartoonifies the reek; the curbside mascara cartoonifies the cheer. Both applied at the threshold before entry, both collapsing "mid breath" — the performance cannot sustain itself through a single exhalation. "And by a toke, coughs held back, / in the visor mirror" specifies the preparation with the suppressed cough: the toke taken but its evidence suppressed, the concealment requiring its own concealment, the lie nested within the lie.

"Cash / must be coaxed out of Granny, shifting kitchen items" closes the first stanza on the poem's most mundane and most revealing detail. Having been established through her domestic care — the dusted mantel, the preserved past — Granny now appears in her actual present-tense function: the economic anchor of the household, the one from whom cash must be coaxed through the indirect body language of shifting kitchen objects. The transaction conducted away from the toddler names the household's actual power structure: Granny as the real provider, the mother as supplicant, the domestic economy visible in the kitchen negotiation after the performance of the hug has already done its work in the living room.

The second stanza opens on the teen sway — "one foot behind the other" — the body's habitual posture of a girl who has not grown into the adult circumstances surrounding her. The men smoking against the car, framed in the window behind her, complete the picture: the world she actually inhabits visible through the glass, the thin membrane between the domestic interior and the street. "Crank-cricket vigils etched in scorched-earth craters / surfacing on her too" maps the meth use's physical inscription onto her skin in language simultaneously geological and entomological — the craters scorched earth, the vigils cricket-like in their nocturnal obsessiveness, the damage surfacing on her face as it has surfaced on the men outside. "Mom, it's an allergy. I told you" is the poem's only direct speech — the explanation for the visible damage offered in the same gesture as the Febreze and the mascara, another covering applied at the threshold of scrutiny.

"Too fast the day approaches when — against the fixity / of that reek, too contagious to stand — the transience / of that cheer, no less contagious, will flower so florid" is the poem's most formally ambitious movement. "Flower so florid" holds the blooming that precedes the dying — the excess of the flower at full opening is also the moment of its greatest vulnerability to being cut. "Florid" carries its medical meaning simultaneously: florid presentation, the symptom at full visibility, the disease declaring itself. The mother's cheer becomes both flower and symptom in a single word, its transience encoded in the very excess of its bloom.

The dialectic between the reek's fixity and the cheer's transience is the poem's governing tension. The reek is fixed and contagious — permanent, spreading, the condition of the household. The cheer is transient and equally contagious — it spreads to the boy, it produces hope, it is the condition the poem mourns the passing of. When the cheer flowers so florid that the boy can no longer sustain belief in it, the contagion of the reek will be all that remains. The boy's immunity to hope is not chosen but acquired, the way immunity is always acquired: through exposure sufficient to trigger the organism's defensive response.

"The boy, little fingers fretting the toy's contours, / will understand the necessity of becoming immune / to hope at a level of consciousness before his time" is the poem's final and most devastating movement. "Little fingers fretting the toy's contours" is exact: the fingers working the surface of the toy, finding its edges, mapping its shape through touch — the same activity that consciousness performs on its environment, the same activity the poem has been performing on this household. "Fretting" holds both its tactile meaning and its emotional meaning, the verb of anxiety and worry, the mind that cannot settle. "Will understand the necessity" — not simply "will understand" but "will understand the necessity" — names something more disturbing than mere comprehension. The boy will not merely know that hope is dangerous. He will understand why it must be given up, the structural logic of the immunity, the environment's actual conditions. And he will understand this "at a level of consciousness before his time" — too early, at the level of organism rather than person, before he has the developmental resources to do anything with what he knows except become immune to it.

Formally, the poem's two stanzas create an architectural division between the present and the future — the first stanza in the compressed present tense of arrival and performance, the second opening into the terrible future tense that the conditional "will" makes both certain and not yet arrived. The enjambments throughout defer the syntactic resolutions that would allow the reader to settle: "Stage-1 meth-mouth mom / sighs," "her prom gaze / dusted on the mantel," "the fixity / of that reek," "the transience / of that cheer." The poem keeps the reader in the same state of suspended approach that characterizes the boy's situation — always moving toward something that has not quite arrived, the arrival always deferred by one more clause, one more precise detail of the world that is producing it.

Meta Description

A poem about the inheritance of damage — tracing through a Stage-1 meth-addicted mother's curbside performance of cheer and Granny's quietly dusted mantel the precise mechanism by which a toddler, fingers fretting a toy's contours, will arrive too early at the defensive immunity to hope that his environment makes necessary, the poem's two stanzas dividing present performance from certain future, its enjambments keeping both reader and boy in perpetual suspended approach to what cannot be avoided.

Keywords

The Last Vestiges, inheritance of damage, Stage-1 meth addiction, maternal performance, vestigial hope, childhood trauma, cartoonified concealment, florid cheer and symptom, Granny domestic upkeep, dusted mantel, toddler and hope, immunity to hope, contemporary American lyric, poverty poetry, addiction and motherhood, close reading, enjambment and deferral, Happy Meal imagery, prom gaze preserved, fretting fingers, before his time, centrifugal hug

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 97)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 97)

Part 97 is the installment most preoccupied with the relationship between what is said and what is withheld — between confession and concealment, between the disclosure that changes things and the silence that does too. Its entries return repeatedly to the moment just before or just after speech: the text from under the avalanche, the father who says nothing after the turtle, the person who wants to hear everything and nothing about the betrayal simultaneously. The hive here is tracking the specific frequencies of human communication that operate at the edge of language — where words fail, where silence speaks, where the thing not said carries more weight than anything that could be articulated.

The installment's most formally precise entries concern race and the specific mechanisms through which good intentions produce their opposite. "Devitalized by slavery and then by segregation, but most terribly later by white guilt, / which whispered — in mesmeric repetition — a gospel eerily similar to what heartened / the Transatlantic slave trade: 'A white Savior is your only hope out of the dung'" is the installment's most sustained and most historically specific formulation of this argument. The parallel structure is the entry's formal achievement: the white savior gospel of progressive culture named as structurally continuous with the ideology that justified slavery, not through malice but through the shared premise of Black incapacity. "Black dignity survived slavery and segregation and yet has taken / to the ICU by welfare, itself a mere jab compared to the coddling — / personal, even institutional — of orange-deranged campus whites" extends this into the present, the medical metaphor precise: welfare as a jab that weakened, progressive campus culture as the condition that may prove fatal.

"It seems relevant to point out that many whites who had sex / with blacks, slave or otherwise, figured — by their very own / framework — that they were engaging in a form of bestiality" revisits the argument of "Sin Against Nature" in compressed aphoristic form — the slaveholder's own ideology indicting him within his own terms, the point made without elaboration because it requires none.

"Let the poetry of the political statement / better stand out by stripping out / all references to particular groups" is the installment's most formally self-aware entry and its most direct statement of the project's own compositional method. The political argument achieves its maximum force, the entry proposes, when it operates at the level of structure rather than particularity — when the reader must supply the specific referents rather than receiving them pre-labeled. This is a genuine aesthetic position, and its placement within the installment it describes is the kind of self-referential move the mosaic form makes possible.

"Triggered at every corner, desperate for spaces safe / from nanoaggressions — are women today trained, / as if by a secret patriarchy, to be fainting Victorians?" achieves the installment's most compressed formulation of the fragility critique. The Victorian comparison is precise: the fainting women of the nineteenth century were produced by a culture that both idealized and enforced their weakness, their fragility a performance of femininity that was simultaneously genuine and manufactured. The entry asks whether contemporary progressive culture has produced an analogous formation — the frailty now called "triggered" rather than "delicate," the smelling salts replaced by safe spaces, the patriarchy operating not through prohibition but through the inculcation of vulnerability as identity.

"Addiction to the same drugs becomes a crime, not a disease, when it ravages group x — / that sounds less bigoted than pious elites, poisoners in healer guise, have made it sound / if group x has proven a blight: loud all night; lewd and entitled; slovenly and violent" is the installment's most deliberately uncomfortable entry on race and drug policy — uncomfortable because it refuses to resolve into either the standard progressive critique of differential criminalization or the conservative dismissal of that critique. The entry holds both the legitimate observation about differential treatment and the uncomfortable empirical claim that behavior patterns may affect the application of that treatment, without collapsing either into the other.

"Hurting yourself in order to hurt others who care, this morphed / as your facial hair grew (in part because it grew) into just hurting / yourself — and still no one, not even you, came to save you" is the installment's most quietly devastating entry, tracing the developmental arc of self-harm from its communicative function — the wound as message, the suffering as bid for rescue — to its terminal form: the habit that has outlasted its original purpose, now just hurting, with no audience and no expected response. "And still no one, not even you, came to save you" names the abandonment that is also self-abandonment, the person who waited for rescue and eventually stopped expecting it and kept hurting anyway.

"So silent as a father that he said nothing / to his son back in the truck after stopping / to lift a turtle from the middle of the road" closes the installment on one of the project's most perfectly realized images of paternal failure. The turtle rescue is a moment of genuine tenderness — the father stopping, getting out, performing an act of care for a creature in danger. And then the silence in the truck afterward, the son beside him, the moment of potential connection unused. The turtle gets lifted. The son gets nothing. The installment ends there, on that silence, which is the right place to end.

Meta Description

The 97th installment of the mosaic poem tracks the frequencies of human communication at language's edge — confession and concealment, the white savior gospel as structural heir to slavery's premise, the Victorian fragility of triggered culture, the developmental arc of self-harm from communication to habit, and the father who lifts a turtle from the road and says nothing to his son in the truck afterward.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 97, white savior gospel, slavery and progressive paternalism, triggered and Victorian fragility, self-harm developmental arc, paternal silence, turtle and son, nanoaggressions, addiction and differential criminalization, political poetry and particularity, text under avalanche, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics, silence and speech

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 96)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 96)

Part 96 achieves the mosaic's most fluid integration of its characteristic registers — the comic, the philosophical, the politically precise, and the quietly devastating — moving with a confidence that suggests the form has fully internalized its own logic. The installment's distributed argument concerns the relationship between categories and the lives they fail to contain: racial categories, gender categories, diagnostic categories, the categories through which we organize desire, guilt, and social belonging. Nearly every entry stages a moment in which a category is applied, inverted, or exposed as insufficient, and the cumulative effect is a portrait of a culture drowning in its own taxonomic apparatus.

The installment opens on a sequence of situational ironies rendered with the economy the mosaic form demands at its best. "Pool baptism electrocutions" holds the sacred and the lethal in a single image without comment. "Pillow talk of saying that your pillow talk is not really pillow talk" is the installment's most compressed rendering of the self-canceling discourse of intimacy — the meta-statement that undermines itself in the act of being made. "Running away from what we keep waiting for, as if we loved the waiting more" achieves genuine psychological precision about the ambivalence that structures desire: the possibility that the waiting is the point, and arrival is the threat. These three entries establish the installment's governing mode — the observation that names something real without explaining it away.

"Mowing their lawn all summer as restitution for flashing their daughter" is the installment's most quietly devastating comic entry. The restitution is real — labor performed in genuine shame — and the disproportion between the offense and the gesture is the entry's subject without being its explicit content. The lawn mowing is both inadequate and all that is available, which is the entry's actual observation about the limited instruments through which guilt attempts to repair itself.

The political cluster achieves the installment's sharpest formulations. "Policers of machinated races / adamant that her passing for x / disrespects real x people" extends the project's sustained engagement with identity policing — the enforcement of categorical authenticity by those who have designated themselves its guardians. The parallel entries on transgender and transracial identity — "insisting that he can never become a woman / because he has not lived as a woman indicates, / inadvertently, the way for becoming a woman" and "insisting that she can never become black / because she has not lived as a black indicates, / inadvertently, the way for becoming black" — form the installment's most formally precise philosophical diptych. Each entry identifies the same logical structure: the objection to passing inadvertently specifies the conditions for its achievement. The parallel placement insists on the structural equivalence of the two cases without arguing for or against either, which is the entries' characteristic intelligence.

"The anxious to prove that they are much better than their ancestors, / the new whites — in their efforts to undo the crippling effects / of the old whites — solidify the narrative that blacks are inferior" is the installment's most compressed statement of the progressive paternalism argument that runs throughout the larger project. The mechanism named here is precise: the performative anti-racism that requires Black inferiority as its premise, and therefore produces it as its conclusion. The entry does not argue that the new whites are insincere. It argues that their sincerity is irrelevant to the structural effect of what they do.

"Marinated as long as they were in the Judeo-Christian morality (where being a victim / grants the superiority of innocence), can you blame blacks — in a nation made wealthy / on their backs — for overplaying the victim card (even if it means remaining victims)?" is the installment's most philosophically generous entry on race, and its generosity is structural rather than sentimental. The question holds simultaneously the legitimacy of the grievance, the rational incentive structure of victim identity within a specific moral framework, and the cost of that identity to the people who inhabit it. "Even if it means remaining victims" is the entry's most precise formulation: the trap is not malicious but logical, the victimhood that grants innocence also requiring that the victim remain a victim to retain that grant.

"Trigger-hand trepidant during his maiden purse stickup, he rapes to save face" is the installment's most compressed standalone narrative — the entire psychological arc of "Purse" rendered in a single line, the botched robbery and the compensatory rape held in their causal relationship without the poem's extended formal elaboration. Its placement within the mosaic gives it a different quality than the standalone poem: here it is one data point among many in the hive's larger catalogue of human failure and its consequences.

"The smartest brain ever crushed with a rock" is the installment's most purely devastating entry — the entire history of human violence against intelligence, against potential, against whatever might have been, held in eight words. No elaboration is possible or necessary.

The installment's treatment of desire and its displacements achieves several precise formulations. "Seasoned enough no longer to panic / about getting too attached, you panic / about her getting too attached now" names the specific inversion of attachment anxiety that experience produces: the fear moves from one's own vulnerability to the other person's, and the shift is not wisdom but a different form of the same fear. "Behind a book on the subway, in wait / for the brown skin girl to shift some — / any — section of her fine self" renders desire's patience with the specific detail of the book as cover, the waiting organized entirely around the possibility of movement, any movement, in any direction. "Realizing your love for someone whom / you did not know you loved is often code / for what can be a boon: lowered expectations" is the installment's most unsentimental observation about retroactive love — the recognition that what presents as discovery may be the belated acceptance of something one had been refusing to call by its name.

The installment closes on the victim card entry, which is the right closing note: the installment's largest and most philosophically sustained observation placed last, its question mark the appropriate final punctuation for a sequence that has been staging questions throughout without providing answers. The hive does not resolve. It accumulates, and what it accumulates here is a portrait of a culture whose categories — racial, sexual, diagnostic, moral — are simultaneously the only tools available and persistently inadequate to the lives they are meant to organize.

Meta Description

The 96th installment of the mosaic poem pursues the relationship between categories and the lives they fail to contain — moving through identity policing, the logical trap of progressive paternalism, the inadvertent specification of passing's conditions, the rationality of victim identity within Judeo-Christian moral frameworks, and the compressed standalone narrative of compensatory rape, building a portrait of a culture drowning in taxonomic apparatus that cannot do the work it has been assigned.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 96, identity policing, transracialism and transgenderism parallel, progressive paternalism, victim card rationality, Judeo-Christian innocence, passing and authenticity, maiden purse stickup, smartest brain crushed, attachment anxiety inversion, lowered expectations and love, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics, category and inadequacy

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 95)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 95)

This installment of Stanzas continues the project's signature mosaic technique while pushing it toward an increasingly philosophical investigation of moral ambiguity, memory, mortality, and the instability of ethical judgment. The sequence abandons narrative continuity in favor of a rapid succession of aphoristic scenes, each functioning as a compressed moral experiment. Rather than presenting arguments, the poem presents collisions: innocence against corruption, transcendence against degradation, idealism against biological reality, public ideology against private experience. The result is not simply a catalog of observations but a phenomenology of consciousness itself—a portrait of what it feels like to inhabit a modern mind saturated with conflicting ethical claims.

Perhaps the installment's defining feature is its refusal to divide the world into heroes and villains. Again and again, virtues and vices become inseparable. The opening image—"filching from the lemonade-stand as you help the little girl make change"—compresses generosity and theft into a single gesture. The adult simultaneously assists and exploits the child. This paradox establishes the governing logic for the remainder of the sequence. Likewise, "doing something you hate with someone you love" refuses sentimental assumptions that affection redeems unpleasant labor or that meaningful work must necessarily be enjoyable. Throughout the poem, emotional and moral categories continually bleed into one another.

Many of the fragments expose the inheritance of corruption across generations. Fathers "embolden us to steal from our employers." Grandfathers provide painkillers to sell to classmates. Parents profess unconditional love while desperately imposing dogma. These are not monstrous caricatures but recognizable distortions of ordinary familial authority. The family becomes less a sanctuary than the primary mechanism through which both virtues and dysfunctions are transmitted. Such observations resonate with psychological theories emphasizing intergenerational trauma while resisting the temptation to reduce moral agency to deterministic inheritance.

Running alongside these familial observations is a sustained meditation on self-deception. Several entries dissect the stories human beings tell themselves in order to preserve coherence. Retirement is imagined not primarily as liberation but as the loss of busyness that concealed abandoned dreams. The refrigerator repeatedly opened despite nothing changing becomes a quietly devastating metaphor for magical thinking. Fantasy conversations with one's crush illustrate rehearsed realities preferred over genuine uncertainty. Reunions become opportunities not simply to meet old acquaintances but to discover the alternate selves one's life might have produced. Even memory itself is questioned: parents treasure moments their children never retain, exposing recollection as radically asymmetrical.

The installment repeatedly investigates perception as an unreliable instrument. "Appearing happy from far away" condenses an entire sociology of appearances into five words. The psychic who relies upon leading questions succeeds because human cognition privileges improbable confirmations over countless failures. The "fuzzy line between what you want to see and what you see" explicitly names a cognitive bias that has silently informed many preceding fragments. Rather than condemning individual delusion, the poem suggests that selective perception is constitutive of consciousness itself.

Death and mortality emerge as persistent organizing principles. Yet these meditations avoid conventional elegiac sentimentality. One striking fragment asks whether grief partly consists not merely in releasing a loved one from suffering but also in being released from the obligations of caregiving. Such a question would ordinarily be considered socially unacceptable precisely because it reveals emotions many mourners experience but hesitate to acknowledge. Similarly, "mothering the dying" transforms caregiving into an inversion of infancy, suggesting that the end of life often mirrors its beginning. Elsewhere, hearing a physician declare one's death while consciousness remains intensely vivid evokes neurological phenomena associated with cardiac arrest while simultaneously destabilizing simplistic distinctions between life and death. Rather than presenting death as philosophical abstraction, these observations expose its unsettling psychological textures.

The poem frequently juxtaposes transcendence with biological reality. "The bliss of losing control" can refer equally to religious ecstasy, orgasm, intoxication, artistic inspiration, or psychological collapse. The ambiguity is deliberate. Likewise, "able to masturbate because of them, / hands free us from the raging drive / that allows little time to name things" humorously transforms human anatomy into an evolutionary explanation for civilization itself. Sexuality here is neither celebrated nor condemned but treated as one among many biological pressures shaping consciousness. Elsewhere, the observation regarding "the rapey factor of so much animal sex" forces readers to confront the discomforting distance between evolutionary behavior and modern moral language, reminding us that ethical vocabularies cannot be seamlessly projected onto nature.

Political and ideological tensions appear throughout the sequence, but the poem consistently resists reducing them to slogans. Instead, it stages competing truths. One passage notes that understanding another group's lived experience is presented as a moral imperative while simultaneously suggesting that believing one could fully understand such experience risks another form of arrogance. The fragment refuses easy resolution because each side critiques the excesses of the other. Likewise, the observation about racial profiling in bank loans provocatively acknowledges statistical realities while inviting reflection upon the ethical costs of acting upon them. Whether readers ultimately accept or reject the reasoning, the fragment's literary function is less to persuade than to expose the uncomfortable friction between empirical generalization and individual justice.

Several entries likewise examine how language increasingly moralizes ordinary interaction. The suggestion that every action—even saying hello—can become a "nanoaggression" questions not whether historical injustice exists but how finely moral scrutiny should penetrate everyday behavior. The poem repeatedly returns to the phenomenon of ethical inflation, wherein increasingly minute actions become invested with ever greater symbolic significance. Rather than dismissing such developments outright, the sequence asks what psychological consequences emerge when consciousness becomes permanently vigilant toward hidden offenses.

Throughout the installment, modern technology and media quietly shape experience. Phone-sex operators cultivate racially coded vocal neutrality. Delivery uniforms alter social vulnerability. Pornography collides absurdly with flies outdoors. Rap videos require paper hoods. None of these observations is elaborated; each appears momentarily before disappearing beneath the next. This rapid turnover reproduces the contemporary information environment itself, where radically different realities coexist within seconds of one another.

One of the sequence's recurring philosophical concerns is aspiration. "Only concerned with learning how to take off and fly, never how to land" becomes a metaphor for countless domains: ambition without sustainability, romance without maintenance, intoxication without recovery, technological innovation without ethical foresight. Similarly, "should we even call it 'determination' if rain washes it away?" questions whether virtues deserve their names when they prove conditional. The poem continually distinguishes between ideals imagined in abstraction and virtues tested under circumstance.

The final movement increasingly emphasizes fragility. Good health is unknowable until it disappears. Churches contain faces empty of interpersonal demands yet full of divine demands. Childhood nostalgia becomes romantic manipulation. The key to someone's heart can literally break in the lock. Santa collapses deflated across suburban lawns. These images illustrate entropy operating simultaneously upon bodies, institutions, symbols, and relationships. Yet the poem never descends into nihilism. Indeed, one of its most hopeful observations argues that neither complacent self-acceptance nor achievement-dependent self-worth suffices; rather, authentic flourishing requires loving oneself throughout the process of striving. This fragment quietly serves as an ethical center for the collection, balancing ambition with compassion.

The concluding meditation on the final day before incarceration exemplifies the installment's broader achievement. The question is not simply how one spends such a day but whether genuine enjoyment remains psychologically possible once freedom has acquired an expiration date. This is characteristic of Stanzas: external events matter less than the altered structure of consciousness they produce. Every fragment asks not merely what happens but what it feels like for reality itself to become newly configured.

Formally, this installment demonstrates the continued power of the mosaic aesthetic. Each fragment gains resonance through juxtaposition rather than explanation. Comic observations sharpen tragic ones; philosophical aphorisms interrupt scenes of ordinary embarrassment; political controversy gives way to intimate grief. Readers are forced into the active role of constructing relationships among seemingly disparate experiences. The sequence thus resembles consciousness more than argument: nonlinear, recursive, ethically unstable, forever oscillating between memory, observation, fear, desire, and speculation.

Ultimately, this installment presents modern existence as a continuous negotiation between competing truths that resist synthesis. It neither celebrates contradiction nor seeks to resolve it. Instead, it inhabits contradiction as the natural condition of reflective life. In doing so, Stanzas continues its ambitious project of creating not merely a collection of observations but a phenomenological atlas of contemporary consciousness—one in which every fragment, however small, becomes another facet of the inexhaustible complexity of being human.

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 94)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 94)

Part 94 is the most tonally democratic installment of the sequence — its range spanning the cosmic, the comic, the grotesque, and the quietly devastating with an evenhandedness that refuses to signal which register deserves the most serious attention. Where earlier installments organized themselves around governing pressures, Part 94 achieves something closer to pure hive logic: every frequency at once, none subordinated, the sequence trusting its own accumulation to generate meaning rather than imposing it from above. The installment's distributed argument, insofar as it has one, concerns the relationship between perception and its blind spots — the things we cannot see because of where we are standing, the things we will not see because of what seeing them would require of us.

The sequence's most sustained philosophical thread concerns the relationship between knowledge and its costs. "The burden of the call to act is an incentive not to recognize the problem" is the installment's most compressed epistemological observation — naming the specific mechanism by which moral perception is blocked not by ignorance but by the implications of clarity. If you see the problem fully, you must act on it; if acting on it is costly, the mind has reason to not quite see it fully. The installment's "show-me-where-this-is-illegal thinking / versus would-this-be-okay- / to-subject-my-mother-to? thinking" extends this into ethical methodology: two different frameworks for evaluating action, one looking for explicit prohibition and finding its absence a green light, the other running the action through the filter of intimate human relationship. The gap between these frameworks is where most ordinary harm occurs.

"The scholar's bane: the desire / to be right trumping the desire / to cultivate happy relationships" and "the professor failed merely because she failed to open herself to vulnerability" belong to the same cluster — observations about the specific ways intellectual identity can become a defense against the very human contact that makes intellectual work meaningful. The scholar's desire to be right is not simply vanity; it is a form of self-protection that happens to produce real relational damage. The professor's failure is not intellectual but phenomenological: the classroom requires the same openness that any genuine encounter requires, and the armor of expertise can foreclose it.

The evolutionary psychology entries form one of the installment's most quietly ambitious clusters. "Erectus ancestors who smiled at faces as infants were more likely to enjoy protections, / and so now infants smile at faces and, for extra reasons, adults — in anxiety too buried / to seem like anxiety — spot faces even where none exist (as in clouds and star clusters)" traces a behavioral inheritance from survival advantage to perceptual compulsion to the specific adult anxiety that produces pareidolia. The sequence is complete and the logic is exact: we see faces in clouds because our ancestors who smiled at faces survived, and the same mechanism that protected them now generates the anxiety of finding intention and presence in randomness. "Were we all psycho, we could play with our kids / without any need to dehumanize the people / that we wipe out or even just perform surgery on" follows a related logic: the psychological distance required for violence and surgery alike is a feature of normal inhibition, not pathology, and its absence in certain states is what allows both the play and the harm.

The grief entries carry the installment's deepest emotional weight without announcing themselves. "In front of your dead friend's house / tossing a ball, almost expecting him / to burst through the front door" achieves its force through the specific physics of grief's denial — the body enacting the habitual expectation that the mind knows is impossible, the throw aimed at a return that cannot come. "Sitting on her couch, the ghost tries in vain to hug his grieving wife" inverts the usual ghost story: not the living haunted by the dead but the dead haunted by their inability to comfort the living, their presence useless at the moment when presence would matter most. "That the dead haunt the living is one thing, but even / more disturbing is that they are reduced to doing so / merely by making doll eyes blink for night janitors" deflates the supernatural entirely — the dead's only available instrument of contact is the accidental and the overlooked, the blinking doll that only the night janitor witnesses. The reduction of haunting to this is the entry's comedy and its horror simultaneously.

"Grateful for the child you wished was never born" is the installment's most compressed psychological reversal — the retrospective gratitude that coexists with the memory of its own prior absence, the parent who arrives at love through a path that included its explicit rejection. "Their release captured by news cameras / in the lot, some of the first-graders skip / as parents scan to find their child alive" places a school shooting's aftermath in a single image without naming the event — the skipping children and the scanning parents simultaneously, the ordinary childhood gesture of skipping made almost unbearable by its context.

"What would become of you, your art, were you no longer despairing, neurotic?" is the installment's most direct engagement with the relationship between psychological suffering and creative production — the artist's specific fear that the condition producing the work is inseparable from the work itself, that cure and silencing are the same event. The installment's "freed from a state of mind through describing it in writing" belongs to the same cluster as its counterpoint: description as liberation, or description as the only available form of it.

"Even if the light at death is just retinal flaring / or the overhead ER light, why must that be / incompatible with that light being Love?" is the installment's most theologically generous entry, and its generosity is formal rather than sentimental. The question does not claim that the light is Love. It asks why the materialist explanation and the theological one must be mutually exclusive — why the physical mechanism and the metaphysical meaning cannot occupy the same event. This is the sequence's most open-handed moment: not an argument for belief but a resistance to the closure that dismissal requires.

"The importance of mere lipstick / among the women in that city / besieged by snipers and bombs" is the installment's most morally precise entry about dignity under extremity — the word "mere" doing the entry's entire work by naming the dismissal it refuses. Lipstick is not mere in a city under siege; it is the maintenance of a self that the siege is trying to destroy, the insistence on a form of beauty that has nothing to do with survival and everything to do with remaining human. The entry does not explain this. It names the lipstick and the siege in proximity and trusts the reader to feel the gap between "mere" and what the lipstick actually is.

Formally, Part 94 achieves its most relaxed relationship with its own formal variety — the entries feel less curated than accumulated, as though the intelligence producing them has stopped deciding what belongs and is simply recording what the day yields. This relaxation is itself a formal argument: the hive in its natural state does not select. It receives everything, processes everything, makes honey from whatever arrives. The installment's final entry — "the more our economy becomes cashless / the more the preference shifts for drugs / that can be purchased with credit cards" — closes on a note of pure sociological observation, the underground economy adapting to the surface economy's technological shifts with the same pragmatic efficiency. The hive hums on.

Meta Description

The 94th installment of the mosaic poem achieves pure hive logic — moving across perceptual blind spots, the scholar's relational failures, evolutionary psychology and pareidolia, grief's impossible physics, the lipstick of besieged women, and the theological generosity of asking why retinal flaring and Love must be incompatible, trusting accumulation rather than argument to generate meaning from whatever the day yields.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 94, perceptual blind spots, burden of recognition, scholar's bane, evolutionary psychology, pareidolia, grief and denial, ghost and grieving wife, school shooting aftermath, art and despair, lipstick under siege, retinal flaring and Love, cashless economy and drugs, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics, hive logic

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Tickle Theory Skepticism (ROUND 5)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Tickle Theory Skepticism (ROUND 5)

Tickle Theory Skepticism” is a poem about the insufficiency of clean explanatory categories under conditions of sexual violation. Its subject is not the legal question of consent, nor even the familiar physiological claim that bodily arousal can occur without desire. Rather, the poem enters a more volatile psychic territory: the aftermath of a coerced encounter in which bodily response, erotic cognition, reflex, fear, humiliation, and apparent participation become so entangled that the violated subject can no longer secure a morally usable account of herself. The poem’s terror lies in this collapse of interpretive refuge. It does not suggest that coercion becomes consent once desire appears. Instead, it asks what happens when desire itself becomes one of the instruments through which violation continues after the event.

The title establishes this argument with compressed philosophical force. “Tickle theory” refers to the reassuring analogy often used to separate bodily reaction from will: one may laugh when tickled without enjoying or consenting to being tickled; likewise, one may display arousal under assault without thereby wanting the assault. The poem’s “skepticism,” however, is not a denial of that principle. It is a critique of its limits. The poem accepts the moral necessity of distinguishing involuntary response from consent, but it refuses the consolation that this distinction can always rescue the subject from psychic self-implication. The poem’s problem is not whether the body can betray the self. Its deeper problem is whether, under pressure, the self may begin to experience its own betrayal as more than bodily.

The opening line, “Her unwanted arousal soon jackknifed into wanted enough,” is crucial because it refuses both simplification and absolution. “Jackknifed” conveys sudden, violent deformation: not a smooth conversion from refusal to desire, but a catastrophic folding of one state into another. “Wanted enough” is even more exact. It does not mean freely wanted, ethically wanted, or retrospectively consented to. It names a threshold of psychic participation sufficient to become unbearable later. The poem’s catastrophe begins at that “enough”: enough to speak, enough to move, enough to recognize oneself as involved in what one cannot morally own.

The gag becomes the poem’s central device because it transforms speech into a field of damaged evidence. The period panties stuffed “down her throat” do not merely silence her. They produce a paradoxical mercy: she can be “loud but not quotable.” This is one of the poem’s most incisive formulations. To be loud is to release pressure, to emit affect, to stop policing oneself into the strangled discipline of whispers. But to be “not quotable” is to be protected from the full social and semantic consequences of articulation. The gag allows expression without stable authorship. It permits sound to exist without becoming testimony.

That distinction between sound and testimony is the poem’s ethical and psychological engine. The woman’s vocalizations become “guttural groan” and “gagged gibberish,” language degraded into noise before it can be entered into the “judgment of loved ones.” The word “inadmissible” gives the scene a forensic structure. Even during the assault, consciousness is already imagining a later tribunal: family, spouse, memory, law, shame, and self-judgment gathered around the question of what her sounds meant. The gag therefore protects her not only from being heard by others, but from being hearable to herself. It interrupts the conversion of appetite into record.

This is why the poem’s violence is hermeneutic as much as physical. The assault is not limited to what is done to the body; it includes the seizure of interpretive authority over the body’s signs. The woman’s body becomes legible against her will. Her sounds, movements, and reflexes threaten to become evidence in a case she is already losing internally. The phrase “hindsight would readily neuter into ‘No! No!’” is especially pointed: retrospective narration can sanitize the scene by translating illegible or compromised utterance into the morally intelligible language of refusal. But the poem refuses that retrospective comfort. It insists on the messier, more devastating possibility that the sounds cannot be fully purified after the fact.

The second movement extends this evidentiary logic from voice to thought. The “traitorous marks” are not only physical responses but interpretive events. Appetite becomes “cerebral.” This is a major intensification in the revised poem. The danger is no longer merely that the body reacts; the danger is that consciousness begins generating associations, jokes, idioms, recognitions, and meanings from inside the coercive scene. Phrases such as “balls to the wall” and “hips don’t lie” become grotesquely reactivated under pressure. Common speech turns incriminating. Language itself seems to have been waiting to betray her.

The “hips don’t lie” reference is particularly important because it stages popular cliché as hostile jurisprudence. If hips “testify,” then movement becomes confession. Yet the poem does not naively endorse that reading. Its intelligence lies in showing how such readings become psychologically irresistible even when they remain morally false. The woman is not simply being judged from outside; she has internalized the terms by which she can be made illegible to herself. She becomes both defendant and prosecutor, both witness and hostile examiner.

The Hitachi detail sharpens this collapse of categories. The object reached for in resistance is also an object already implicated in the sexual economy of the scene. The poem’s point is not merely shock or degradation. It is symbolic contamination. The gesture of defense cannot remain clean because the available instruments are already saturated with erotic meaning. Even resistance risks being misread as participation. Even an attempted weapon can become, in memory, another exhibit against the self.

The phrase “he stole back even this dangled grace of psychic deniability” marks the poem’s conceptual center. “Psychic deniability” is the fragile space created by gagged speech: the possibility that what occurred inside her need not become fully legible, either to him or to herself. But the assailant destroys that refuge. Importantly, he does not restore ordinary speech in order to expose her. He does the opposite: he drives the obstruction deeper while claiming interpretive mastery over what remains muffled. This is the poem’s most chilling insight. Domination here consists not simply in silencing the victim, but in interpreting her silence, noise, and incoherence for her.

The revised phrase “decrypting that soul-tribe communique” complicates the scene further. “Decrypting” suggests that her sounds contain a code; “soul-tribe” suggests a shared subterranean grammar of appetite. Yet the poem carefully leaves the status of this recognition unstable. The horror is not simply that he misreads her. Nor can the poem comfortably say he reads her correctly. The deeper horror is that his interpretation lodges where certainty should be impossible. He names something she fears may be partly true, and that partial possibility is enough to make the wound metastasize inward. His taunt becomes a form of epistemic violence: he imposes a meaning she cannot wholly disprove to herself.

The final movement shifts from the event itself to the retrospective ordeal of self-seeing. “To see herself shift like this” names trauma as forced spectatorship of one’s own transformation. The phrase “bald grind work” strips the encounter of romance, fantasy, or even the alibi of overwhelming pleasure. The poem pointedly denies her the “alibi of orgasm.” This is one of its most severe psychological turns. If climax had overtaken her, she might attribute participation to involuntary bodily seizure. But the poem instead emphasizes premature, active, almost procedural participation: a shift occurring too early, too awkwardly, too consciously to be filed away as mere reflex.

The “pardon-window” is therefore not legal but internal. It names the interval in which the self might still pardon itself by appealing to panic, reflex, dissociation, or physiological inevitability. The catastrophe is that the speaker perceives this window as having closed. Whether that self-condemnation is just is not the point. The poem’s subject is the psychic mechanism by which a violated person may experience her own responses as unforgivable even when no moral guilt belongs to her.

The domestic comparison at the end deepens this self-revulsion. The reference to her husband’s “pill-hardened overtime” introduces a devastating asymmetry between consensual marital sex and coerced arousal. The shame does not arise because the coercive scene reveals some simple “truth” of desire. Rather, trauma weaponizes comparison. It makes the subject ask why her body or psyche could respond with such intensity there, under violation, when ordinary intimacy required effort, negotiation, medication, or endurance. The comparison is psychologically plausible precisely because it is morally misleading. Trauma often persuades by arranging facts into false but irresistible verdicts.

The “mother of two” detail is similarly not mere respectability framing. It introduces a social self: maternal, domestic, adult, already embedded in ordinary structures of responsibility and recognition. The poem’s scandal is not that a mother has desire, but that the self she knows through family and domestic identity cannot assimilate the self she believes emerged under coercion. The result is not simple shame but ontological estrangement. She does not merely think, “something happened to me.” She thinks, more devastatingly, “something in me answered.”

Formally, the poem’s syntax enacts this psychic prosecution. Its sentences are long, recursive, clause-heavy, and relentlessly qualifying. Parentheses do not soften the argument; they tighten it. Each aside becomes another exhibit, another correction, another refusal to let the self escape into a cleaner version of the event. The poem moves like cross-examination: premise, objection, revision, further evidence, renewed accusation. Its momentum is not narrative but forensic. It does not tell the story so much as litigate the meaning of every bodily sign.

The diction also works by collision. Legal language, erotic slang, theological vocabulary, domestic reference, pop-cultural cliché, and bodily grotesquerie are forced into the same field. This creates the poem’s distinctive pressure. No discourse remains pure. Law cannot fully adjudicate desire. Trauma theory cannot fully protect the subject from self-knowledge. Erotic language cannot be separated from humiliation. Domestic identity cannot absorb what happened. Even metaphor becomes contaminated by the scene it attempts to clarify.

What makes “Tickle Theory Skepticism” so disturbing is that it refuses the reader’s desire for a stable moral technology. It does not abandon the distinction between coercion and consent; indeed, that distinction remains ethically nonnegotiable. But it argues that the psyche may suffer precisely where public moral language is most confident. One can be innocent and still feel internally ruined by one’s own responses. One can be violated and still experience desire. One can know that coercion nullifies consent and still be unable to forgive the part of oneself that seemed to participate.

The poem’s ultimate subject, then, is not arousal under assault but the afterlife of interpretation. It shows how violation continues as a struggle over meaning: who gets to say what the body meant, what the voice meant, what movement meant, what pleasure meant, what resistance meant. The assailant’s final power lies not only in what he does, but in the fact that his reading survives inside her as a contaminant. The poem inhabits that contamination without resolving it. Its achievement is to make the reader feel the full violence of an experience in which even self-knowledge becomes unsafe.

Meta Description

A poem about coerced desire, damaged speech, psychic deniability, hermeneutic violence, traumatic self-interpretation, and the collapse of clean distinctions between bodily response, appetite, resistance, and consent.

Keywords

Tickle Theory Skepticism, coerced desire, trauma poetics, psychic deniability, hermeneutic violence, sexual coercion, traumatic self-interpretation, arousal and consent, embodied testimony, forensic language, gagged speech, self-revulsion, erotic cognition, violation and desire, contemporary poetry analysis

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 93)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 93)

Part 93 is the most formally various and emotionally wide-ranging installment of the sequence, moving between the cosmic and the intimate, the comic and the devastating, with a fluency that makes the transitions feel less like juxtaposition and more like the natural movement of a single consciousness across a full day's worth of perception. Where earlier installments organized themselves around a governing pressure — complicity, dying, category, epistemology — Part 93 resists any single organizing theme, achieving instead something closer to the sequence's fullest realization of the hive metaphor itself: every frequency simultaneously, none subordinated to any other.

The installment's emotional center, distributed across several entries, concerns the relationship between self-knowledge and self-destruction — the specific territory where honest self-perception and its pathological forms become difficult to distinguish. "Telling yourself that it is hope / for tomorrow, rather than cowardice, / that stops you from killing yourself" is the sequence's most direct engagement with suicidal ideation, and its formal precision is what makes it literature rather than clinical description. The stanza does not adjudicate between the two interpretations — hope versus cowardice — but holds them in genuine tension, naming the self-accusation that accompanies the decision to continue living without either validating the accusation or dismissing it. The observation is psychologically exact: the person who stays alive sometimes cannot be certain whether they are staying from genuine attachment to the future or from the failure of nerve that suicide would require. The poem names this uncertainty without resolving it, which is the only honest position available.

"What you would be like — other than like a young child — if you did not hate yourself?" achieves a comparable precision from a different angle. The parenthetical qualifier — "other than like a young child" — is the stanza's most important element: it acknowledges that the self without self-hatred would be, in some fundamental sense, innocent, open, undefended in the way children are before they learn the evaluative gaze. The question does not promise that self-hatred can be removed or that its removal would produce flourishing. It simply names what precedes it developmentally, which is its own form of indictment of what self-hatred costs.

"Even if self-hatred is learned, does that mean it is uncalled for?" is the installment's most philosophically compressed entry in this cluster, and it refuses the easy therapeutic response. The constructivist account of self-hatred — that it is culturally produced, learned, not intrinsic — is usually deployed as a reason to dismiss it. The poem asks whether learned and uncalled-for are actually synonymous. This is a genuine philosophical question: some learned responses are accurate responses to actual conditions, and the poem does not pretend otherwise.

The installment's treatment of intimacy and its disruptions forms its other major emotional thread. "A toxic culture where desiring innermost intimacy / is being desperate, and where being desperate / is worse than being either a slut or a prude" names a specific cultural hierarchy that has installed emotional need below sexual casualness in the register of acceptable vulnerability — where the body's availability is less shameful than the heart's hunger. "Talking over the silence with an other, intimacy becoming too intense" renders the mechanism by which intimacy is disrupted at the moment of its greatest depth: the compulsive speech that fills the silence before it can become too revealing, the person who retreats into noise exactly when genuine contact becomes available. "That point where more love has faded than will appear" is the installment's most quietly devastating temporal observation — the moment in a relationship when the arithmetic turns, when what has been lost exceeds what can still come, named without drama or self-pity.

The perception cluster extends the sequence's sustained interest in how consciousness frames its experience. "How much of you it shows that you read birdsong / not as emanations of 'I'm the one to be loved' / but rather as wails of 'Who, oh who, will love me?'" is the installment's most elegant observation about projection — the way the same sound, the same natural phenomenon, is organized by the listening consciousness according to its own internal weather. The birdsong does not change; what changes is the psychological posture of the listener, and the poem proposes that this posture is diagnostic. "Every scenario can be seen as miraculous: / how can one explain your bed sheets being / wrinkled exactly as they are this morning?" extends this into a genuine phenomenological claim: the improbability of any specific configuration of matter is statistically equivalent to miracle, and the failure to experience it as such is a failure of attention rather than a fact about the world.

"Roofied into the deboned pliability you had not felt since the changing table" is the installment's most disturbing single entry, connecting drug-facilitated assault to infantile helplessness in a formulation that is precise rather than gratuitous. The changing table is the site of the infant's total physical dependence — the body completely passive, positioned and managed by another's hands. The roofied body returns to that state, and the poem names this return without elaboration, trusting the comparison to carry its full weight.

The political and social entries achieve the installment's sharpest formulations of institutional self-perpetuation. "Bullying campaigns against bullying keeps bullying alive, which is the point" states bluntly what the sequence has approached from multiple angles: that the infrastructure built to address a problem has an interest in the problem's continuation. "Incentives to exaggerate statistics to sustain the victim culture" makes the parallel argument about grievance infrastructure. "Citing prison letters, crazed from solitary confinement, as grounds for parole denial" identifies a specific cruelty embedded in institutional logic: the evidence of harm produced by imprisonment used to justify continued imprisonment, the system converting its own damage into justification for its perpetuation.

"Facing that history could go on without her (only one person, after all) / opened her to surrender herself to that one door — opened her, that is, / to shut doors that, kept open, kept her world large only on the surface" is the installment's most formally complex observation about the relationship between limitation and depth. The acceptance of one's dispensability to history — the recognition that the world does not require any particular individual — is rendered here not as despair but as a kind of liberation: the narrowing that produces genuine commitment rather than the false expansiveness of kept-open options. This is the installment's most direct engagement with the philosophical tradition of productive limitation.

The installment closes on the image of a side of town where everyone coughs all night, "rooting for maximal mucosal yield" — a final image of communal suffering rendered in the comic register of shared biological hope. The comedy is not dismissive; it is the sequence's characteristic move of finding in grotesque physical particularity a form of solidarity. Everyone in the coughing ward wants the same thing, and that wanting-in-common is its own kind of community, however unglamorous its object.

Meta Description

The 93rd installment of the mosaic poem achieves the sequence's fullest realization of the hive form — moving across suicidal self-accusation, the hierarchy of intimacy over sexuality in contemporary shame culture, projection and birdsong, institutional self-perpetuation, and the liberation of accepting one's dispensability to history, without subordinating any frequency to any other.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 93, suicidal self-accusation, self-hatred and learning, intimacy disruption, birdsong and projection, roofie and changing table, bullying campaigns, institutional self-perpetuation, victim culture statistics, productive limitation, contemporary American poetry, 2017 poetry, fragment poetics, aphoristic poetry, communal suffering, hive form

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 92)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 92)

Part 92 is the most epistemologically focused installment of the 2017 sequence, its governing pressure less the social and political range of earlier installments than the question of how consciousness relates to its own operations — how we know, how we prepare, how we deceive ourselves, how we remain both inside and outside our own experience simultaneously. The sequence moves through perception, grief, addiction, profiling, emotional self-sabotage, and the phenomenology of depression with a consistent interest in the gap between what we tell ourselves we are doing and what we are actually doing — the con, the slide, the hypnosis, the sunk cost, the tragic gift that blocks as it enables.

The sequence opens on two images that stage its governing tension between connection and its disruption. "Ashram Wi-Fi" is the installment's most compressed cultural contradiction — the retreat from the world's noise requiring, or at least permitting, the world's noise to follow. The spiritual and the networked cannot be cleanly separated; the ashram has capitulated or the Wi-Fi has been sanctified, and the single two-word entry leaves both possibilities open. "The blind feeling out messages in unplanned bumps" follows as the sequence's most quietly beautiful image — touch reading what sight cannot, the unplanned bump becoming legible through attention rather than design. Together the two entries frame what follows: a sequence interested in what gets through despite interference and what gets blocked despite effort.

The installment's most sustained philosophical thread concerns the relationship between foreknowledge and experience. "Going into an experience thinking you already know / what it is to have it — the tragic gift of teachers, coaches — / means being blocked from having it only in one sense" is the sequence's most careful epistemological formulation. The teacher's advance knowledge of an experience is simultaneously an asset (they can prepare, guide, anticipate) and a deprivation (they cannot encounter it fresh, cannot be surprised by it, cannot have it the way the student has it). The "only in one sense" qualification is crucial — the blocking is real but partial, and the poem refuses the simpler version of the claim that would make experience and knowledge simply opposed. Similarly, "dwelling on what will happen next helps us prepare and ultimately keeps us hooked / to life, but it takes us out of the moment — well, since we are always in the moment, / better to say 'out of the sanctioned moment'" performs a live philosophical self-correction within the stanza itself, the mind catching its own imprecision and revising. The correction is the argument: consciousness is always in some moment, and what anticipation forecloses is not the moment but the moment we have decided should be the one we're in.

Depression receives the installment's most psychologically exact treatment. "Depression is a con-artist: it cons us / into normalizing three naps and makes us / ashamed to admit having been its victim" names two of the condition's most insidious operations simultaneously — the normalization that makes severity invisible, and the shame that follows recognition. The shame is the con's second move: having persuaded you that three naps are ordinary, it then persuades you that having been deceived is a failing rather than a symptom. This connects to the installment's broader interest in self-deception: "hypnotizing yourself to believe the lie" and "falling for your own pillow talk — meant to make the asymmetry lean the other way" belong to the same family of observations about the self as an unreliable narrator of its own states.

The grief stanzas carry the sequence's deepest emotional weight without announcing themselves as such. "The one in whom you wanted — you needed — / to confide about your pain from the divorce / was the very one from whom you divorced" achieves its effect through structural irony: the loss and the need for consolation about the loss share the same address, and the person best equipped to understand the grief is constitutively unavailable to receive it. "Your own child killed in the school massacre / do you step up as that neighbor parent / for survivors, or do you avoid eyes with them?" poses an unanswerable social and ethical question about grief's relationship to community — whether devastation produces solidarity or the unbearable mirroring that makes proximity to other survivors impossible. The poem does not answer; the question's irresolvability is the observation.

"To become enraged at the man who killed your child / is to let him wound you twice — unless, of course, rage dips / deep enough into analgesic eros to be worth any time" is the installment's most philosophically unsettling formulation of grief and desire. The first clause states a recognizable therapeutic position — sustained rage extends the perpetrator's damage. The qualification complicates it entirely: if rage descends deep enough to become its own form of analgesia, its own erotic charge, then the calculus changes and the double wound may be worth its cost. The poem does not endorse this but refuses to dismiss it, holding the possibility open with the characteristic "unless" that the sequence deploys throughout when it finds simple positions insufficient.

The profiling stanzas constitute the installment's most politically charged cluster, and they handle the subject with the same structural even-handedness applied elsewhere. "Failing to profile by race or gender, or by power of locution or whatever, is a slander / to the Holy Ghost that gifted us wisdom since we were ocean critters, but it is also / a slander to remain closed to exceptions to the rule or to the call to revise the rule" constructs a genuine dialectic: the evolved heuristic is real and has survival value; its application without revision is also a failure of the same intelligence that produced it. "How do you not feel scared when experience — / the boots on the ground of Locke, of Hume — / has trained you to think they are dangerous?" extends this into phenomenology: the fear is not simply prejudice but empirically conditioned response, and the poem refuses to pretend otherwise while equally refusing to treat conditioned response as final authority. "African cab drivers not wanting to pick up African American customers" places the same dynamic inside a single racial community, where the profiling logic operates free of the usual interracial framing.

The installment's most formally delicate entry is the plastic bag: "a plastic bag caught in a cactus, unable to do its wind dance." The image belongs to the sequence's recurrent interest in objects and creatures prevented from being what they are by the environments that have captured them — the depressive normalized into three naps, the teacher blocked from fresh experience, the consciousness dwelling in the future rather than the sanctioned present. The bag's "wind dance" is its nature; the cactus is not malicious but simply there. Capture and inability are rendered without blame, which is the image's particular quality of sadness.

"Is it more the overgrown weeds / or the one buried below them / that calls you to the cemetery?" closes the installment on its most condensed meditation on grief, neglect, and what summons us to the places where we keep the dead. The question holds two kinds of attention in balance — the attention to visible disrepair and the attention to the buried person — and asks which has more pull, which constitutes the truer call. The answer, characteristically, is not given. The poem ends at the question, which is the only honest position available.

Meta Description

The 92nd installment of the mosaic poem turns inward toward epistemology and self-deception — moving through the blocking power of foreknowledge, depression's con-artist operations, grief's irresolvable social demands, the dialectic of profiling, and the phenomenology of being always in some moment while missing the sanctioned one, building a cumulative portrait of consciousness as an unreliable narrator of its own states.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 92, epistemology poetry, self-deception, depression con-artist, foreknowledge and experience, grief and divorce, school massacre poetry, profiling dialectic, analgesic eros, ashram Wi-Fi, plastic bag cactus, cemetery elegy, phenomenology of anticipation, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics

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The Last Vestiges (ROUND 8)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Last Vestiges (ROUND 8)

"The Last Vestiges" is a poem about the inheritance of damage — specifically, about the moment before a child absorbs, at a level below conscious understanding, that hope is a liability. Its twenty lines move through two stanzas with the controlled compression of a lyric that knows exactly where it is going and delays arrival with precise formal patience, building toward a final image of devastating tenderness and devastating futility simultaneously: a small boy's fingers working the contours of a toy while the knowledge that will end his capacity for unguarded hope gathers around him like weather.

The poem's title names what the poem mourns. "Last vestiges" implies that something is almost entirely gone — that what the poem depicts is not the beginning of damage but its final stage, the disappearing remainder of something that was once more present. The word "vestiges" carries an evolutionary resonance: in biology, vestigial structures are the remnants of features that once served a function but have been reduced by adaptation to near-nothingness. The cheer the mother brings to the door, the hope the boy still carries — these are vestigial, the poem suggests, in exactly this sense. They were adaptive once. The environment has made them liabilities.

The opening image establishes the poem's entire social and emotional world in a single dense cluster. The Happy Meal box "battered," the fries "stiff, having clocked / a night's share of miles" — the food is already spent, already exhausted, a prop of normalcy that has traveled too far and too long to retain any of its original function. The meth-mouth mom's sigh at the door arrives before she enters, the weariness preceding the performance that follows. "Into her childhood home she whirlwinds" is the poem's first tonal pivot: the whirlwind is energetic, centrifugal, all-encompassing — and it is also, the poem quietly insists, performed. She has toked in the visor mirror, held back coughs, applied mascara at the curb. The preparation is not vanity but theater: the assembly of a self capable of being the mother the toddler needs her to be, if only for the duration of a hug.

"That centrifugal hug that streaks away her prom gaze / still over the fireplace" is the poem's most cinematically precise image. The hug is centrifugal — it flings outward, it encompasses — and its motion physically turns her away from the photograph above the fireplace where her younger self, the prom self, the self that preceded everything the poem depicts, still looks out from the wall. The poem does not editorialize about the distance between that girl and this woman. It records the geometry of the hug: the arc that turns her face from the evidence of what she was. This is the poem's characteristic method throughout — it renders emotional fact through physical fact, never stating what it shows.

The Febreze and mascara are the poem's twin symbols of cartoonified concealment. "Cartoonified" is a precise and unusual coinage: it names a process by which something real has been rendered into a simplified, exaggerated version of itself — the way cartoon characters perform emotions with an amplitude that real faces cannot sustain. The curbside application of Febreze cartoonifies the reek; the curbside mascara cartoonifies the cheer. Both are coverings applied at the threshold, before entry, as preparation for a performance that begins wilting "mid breath." The collapse is not delayed until some later moment of crisis. It happens in the duration of a single exhalation. The performance cannot sustain itself even through its own first breath.

The second stanza opens on the teen sway — one foot behind the other, the body's habitual posture of a girl not yet grown into her adult circumstances — and places the men smoking against the car in the window frame behind her. This framing is exact: the men are background, literally framed by the domestic window, and the "crank-cricket vigils etched in scorched-earth craters / surfacing on her too" maps the meth use's physical inscription onto her skin in language that is simultaneously geological and entomological. The craters are scorched earth; the vigils are cricket-like — the obsessive, nocturnal, repetitive quality of the addiction rendered as insect behavior etched into landscape. Her skin is a record.

"Mom, it's an allergy. I told you" arrives as dialogue, and it is the poem's only direct speech — the mother's explanation for the visible damage, the lie that the poem places without comment between the physical description and its continuation. The lie is not monstrous. It is the same operation as the Febreze and the mascara: a covering applied at the threshold of scrutiny, a cartoonification of the real. What is striking is that the poem does not treat it with contempt. The mother is doing what she can with the tools available to her, which are the tools of concealment and performance and the last vestiges of the cheer that the poem's final lines will identify as genuinely contagious even as it documents its transience.

The poem's closing movement is its most formally ambitious. "Too fast the day approaches when — against the fixity / of that reek, too contagious to stand — the transience / of that cheer, no less contagious, will flare so bright" sets up the terrible dialectic: the reek is fixed and contagious, the cheer is transient and equally contagious, and they are in competition for the boy. The cheer's transience will "flare so bright" — a last intensification before extinction, the candle before it goes out — and the boy "will understand the necessity of becoming immune / to hope at a level of consciousness before his time." This is the poem's final and most devastating formulation. The immunity is not chosen. It is acquired, the way one acquires immunity to a pathogen — through exposure sufficient to trigger the body's defensive response. Hope becomes, in this environment, something the child's psyche will learn to neutralize in self-protection. And it will learn this "before his time" — not at the age when such knowledge might be integrated into a formed self, but too early, at the level of organism rather than person, before he has the developmental resources to process what he is being protected from.

The boy's "little fingers fretting the toy's contours" is the poem's final image, and it earns its tenderness without sentiment. "Fretting" carries both its tactile meaning — the fingers working the surface, finding the edges — and its emotional meaning: the verb of anxiety, of worry, of the mind that cannot settle. The toy's contours are what the boy has. The poem ends with him there, fingers moving, while the knowledge that will end his unguarded hope approaches from the world his mother carries in on her.

Formally, the poem's two stanzas create an architectural division between the mother's arrival and the child's future — the first stanza entirely in a compressed present tense of performance and concealment, the second opening into a terrible future tense that the conditional "will" makes both certain and not yet arrived. The enjambments throughout are doing continuous work, deferring the syntactic resolutions that would allow the reader to settle, keeping the poem in the same state of suspended approach that characterizes the boy's situation. The diction moves between the demotic — Happy Meal, Febreze, mascara — and the formally precise, creating the poem's characteristic texture: a lyric intelligence attending to a world that does not know it is being attended to with this quality of care.

Meta Description

A poem about the inheritance of damage — tracing through a meth-addicted mother's curbside performance of cheer and the vestigial hope it carries into her childhood home the precise mechanism by which a toddler, fingers fretting a toy's contours, will arrive too early at the defensive immunity to hope that his environment makes necessary.

Keywords

The Last Vestiges, inheritance of damage, meth addiction poetry, maternal performance, vestigial hope, childhood trauma, contagious cheer, cartoonified concealment, toddler and hope, immunity to hope, contemporary American lyric, poverty poetry, addiction and motherhood, close reading, enjambment and deferral, demotic diction, Happy Meal imagery, prom photograph, scorched earth craters, before his time

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 91)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 91)

Part 91 is the most tonally varied installment of the 2017 sequence, its range spanning cosmic theology, addiction phenomenology, sexual candor, grief, ecological observation, and epistemological comedy within a single continuous movement. Where earlier installments built sustained pressure around a governing theme — complicity, dying, category — Part 91 moves with something closer to the rhythm of ordinary consciousness on a day when everything is equally present: the sublime and the absurd arriving in the same breath, neither canceling the other. The installment's argument, distributed across its full length, concerns the relationship between perception and its objects — the way seeing, framing, labeling, and narrating transform what they encounter, for better and worse, and the costs of getting this transformation wrong.

The theological stanzas provide the installment's most sustained philosophical thread. "It is impossible for us to exist estranged completely from that of which / we are completely a function — indeed, to say that the divine light reaches / even into hell undersells the point since everything expresses the source" is the sequence's most explicitly pantheist formulation, arguing not merely that God is present everywhere but that the very structure of existence as expression of source makes radical estrangement metaphysically impossible. The statement about eternal torture — "to say that some suffer eternal torture, / even for a finite evil, perhaps is to say / that God is not ultimately successful" — derives a theological conclusion from premises most orthodox believers would accept: if God is omnipotent and ultimately good, then eternal damnation represents a permanent failure of divine purpose. The argument is not atheist but internal to theism, turning doctrinal logic against one of its own most defended positions. "She suffered from excessive religiosity until the cysts / in her temporal lobe, which would have made her / a mystic or a witch at a different time, were excised" places mystical experience in the context of neurology without reducing it — the poem does not say the cysts produced false experience, only that the same neurological condition produces different social identities depending on the historical moment that receives it.

The addiction and depression cluster achieves the installment's most psychologically precise observations. "When the miasma of depression dissipates / you can finally become sad / at things really to be sad about" is among the entire project's most exact formulations of the phenomenology of clinical depression — the way the condition generates its own affective weather that has no necessary relationship to actual circumstances, so that its lifting reveals the genuine emotional landscape that was always there but inaccessible beneath the undifferentiated weight. The addict's partial commitment — "This time at least / don't get as bad as before" — names the specific cognitive negotiation of the person who cannot yet commit to abstinence but can commit to harm reduction, the mind finding the foothold available to it rather than the one the recovery literature prescribes. "After just the first sip, the teen / learns of the possibility to be free / of the anxiety thought normal" closes the installment on one of its most compassionate observations: the first drink's revelation is not corruption but the discovery that the ambient anxiety the teenager had assumed was simply the texture of existence is in fact a condition that can be relieved. That the relief is temporary and the cost compound does not make the initial discovery less real or the teenager less sympathetic.

The sequence's treatment of perception and framing reaches its fullest articulation across several entries that collectively argue that how we see determines what we see in ways we rarely account for. "Conditioned to see nature as endless enmity, / even as cameras cannot help but capture / fox cubs at play and seals sunning on a rock" names the gap between inherited ideological frameworks and direct sensory evidence — the camera, indifferent to the Hobbesian narrative, keeps recording play and ease. "Suggesting, as it does, that any emotional attempt / to convey the horror would fall short of its aim, / the clinical detachment of the depiction evokes it all the more" is the installment's most sophisticated aesthetic observation, identifying the counterintuitive principle by which restraint in representation produces greater affective impact than amplification — the principle that governs much of the mosaic poem's own method. "As if viewers would not know what to feel without it, / and helping to make that true, symphonic music floods / each scene to reinforce emotion already on the screen" applies the same logic inversely, identifying film scoring as a form of emotional colonization that both assumes and produces the audience's dependence on affective instruction.

"The weirdo no longer invited us / to exasperation and revulsion once / we labeled him 'special needs'" is the installment's most compressed observation about how diagnostic categories manage social discomfort — the label functioning not primarily as clinical description but as a mechanism for converting threatening difference into legible, and therefore less disturbing, otherness. The management is for the labelers, not the labeled. This connects to the broader thread about framing's power: "ridiculing one's culture simply by depicting it / in art, as if it were obvious to one's culture / how ridiculous the culture really is" names the specific blindspot of satirical art that assumes its targets will recognize the critique, when in fact the culture being depicted often reads the depiction as celebration.

"The whore was the only one you could be honest with" arrives without context and without irony, and its placement among the installment's other observations about intimacy and disclosure gives it the weight of genuine psychological observation rather than provocation. The commercial relationship, precisely because it is bounded and transactional, creates a space in which the client is released from the performance of self that social relationships require. The honesty is real even if the context that produces it is considered scandalous. This connects to the earlier installment's observation about the sex worker dozing mid-encounter: the poem's treatment of commercial sex is consistently interested in the psychological truths the transaction reveals rather than in moral adjudication of its participants.

"Faced with oblivion (or, more accurately, / subblivion), why not jump into love / with open arms even after heartbreak?" is the installment's most explicitly philosophical address to the reader, and "subblivion" is its most inventive coinage — a state below oblivion, worse than nothingness, the condition of conscious extinction without even the comfort of unconsciousness. Against this prospect the poem proposes love's risk not as naive optimism but as the rational response to genuine existential stakes: if subblivion awaits, the calculus of self-protection against heartbreak looks very different.

"Face studded with rusted hooks (the newest one popping through just under her eye), / it was hard not to see the fish as a war general, and — medal-drunk creatures as we are, / exaggerators and carnival gawkers — it was hard not to place a few more before release" is the installment's most formally elaborated image, and it performs a double self-critique. The fish is observed through the lens of human narrative — the hooks become medals, the fish becomes a general — and the observer, catching himself in the projection, names both the impulse ("medal-drunk creatures as we are") and its irresistibility. But the final detail — "it was hard not to place a few more before release" — implicates the observer in the production of the spectacle he is analyzing. He knows he is a carnival gawker and places the hooks anyway. The self-awareness does not produce the self-correction.

Formally, Part 91 achieves its most comfortable relationship with its own length and variety — the entries feel less like inventory and more like the natural movement of a particular intelligence through a particular day's worth of perception. The comedy is more integrated here than in earlier installments: "sex with the toupee on," "thermostat battles with the spouse," "itches coming when it is inappropriate to scratch" are not relief valves from the sequence's serious work but continuous with it, the same quality of precise attention applied to the minor humiliations of embodied life as to theological argument or racial history. This tonal integration — the refusal to rank the sublime above the bathetic — is the mosaic's deepest formal commitment, and Part 91 is where that commitment feels most fully realized.

Meta Description

The 91st installment of the mosaic poem moves with the rhythm of ordinary consciousness at full range — theological argument, addiction phenomenology, perceptual self-critique, and comic embodiment arriving in continuous sequence, collectively arguing that framing and narration transform their objects in ways the framer rarely accounts for, and that the costs of this blindspot are distributed across every domain of experience from clinical depression to film scoring to the fish one hooks and cannot help but turn into a war general.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, part 91, pantheism poetry, eternal damnation critique, depression phenomenology, addiction harm reduction, temporal lobe mysticism, framing and perception, clinical detachment aesthetics, film scoring critique, diagnostic labeling, subblivion, commercial sex and honesty, fish and projection, tonal integration, contemporary American poetry, 2017 poetry, fragment poetics, aphoristic poetry

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 90)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 90)

Part 90 is the most expansive installment of the 2017 sequence in both range and formal ambition, and its governing pressure is the question of category — the way human beings organize experience into containers that simultaneously reveal and distort what they hold. The sequence moves through biological, racial, institutional, sexual, economic, and aesthetic categories with equal skepticism, not to dissolve them into relativism but to expose the specific costs and evasions embedded in each act of classification. What accumulates across the installment's considerable length is an argument about how categories serve power — including the power of the categorizer over themselves, the self-protective work that naming and sorting performs for the person doing it.

The sequence's racial intelligence is at its most sustained and most complicated here, distributed across entries that refuse to settle into any predictable political alignment. "The black applying for membership in the Jewish country club" stages an encounter between two minority communities, each with its own history of exclusion, at the precise site where one community's achieved inclusion becomes another community's barrier. The image does not editorialize; it holds the structural irony without assigning blame. "Most factory farmers are not sadists, but neither were most slavers" is the sequence's most compressed historical-ethical argument — the parallel dismantles the defense of systemic cruelty by personal niceness, insisting that ordinary people operating ordinary systems can produce atrocity without requiring sadism as the explanatory mechanism. The final stanza's triptych — the base-head uncle's car speakers, the cotton-sun slaves chilling watermelon, the fire-lung Indian kids moon-bouncing along the swim-hole floor — holds three American racial histories in a single grammatical structure organized around the universal pleasures of music, coolness, and water, refusing both sentimentality and hierarchy. The sequence neither collapses these histories into sameness nor insists on their absolute incommensurability.

The installment's most politically pointed racial entry is the MLK and Hitler stanza: "the cringey air of chicanery in the thunderous speeches of performers: Hitler, MLK." The pairing will produce discomfort in almost any reader, and the poem is fully aware of this — the discomfort is the argument. By identifying both figures as performers whose thunder carries a "cringey air of chicanery," the poem is not equating their moral content but interrogating the rhetorical technology they share: the mass address, the performance of certainty, the crowd's suspension of critical distance in the presence of charisma. The poem insists that the analysis of oratorical technique cannot be foreclosed by the moral evaluation of the orator's cause — that the same critical tools must apply regardless of whether we approve of the destination the rhetoric serves. This is not moral equivalence but methodological consistency, and the discomfort the pairing produces is precisely the point: we are more willing to analyze the mechanics of persuasion when we disapprove of the persuader.

The transgender/transracial stanza — "embrace of transgenderism even as we reject transracialism" — returns to the category problem with direct philosophical economy. It identifies an inconsistency in the application of constructivist identity theory: if gender is a social construction that the individual can reject in favor of authentic self-determination, what principle distinguishes this from race as a social construction subject to the same individual authority? The poem does not argue for transracialism or against transgenderism. It notes that the theoretical frameworks applied to each case are selectively deployed, and that the selection itself reveals that something other than consistent principle is doing the work. The same observation appears in the "welcome, you faggots" stanza, which targets the progressive literary culture that restricts authorial identity to autobiographical material — "white-authors-can-only-write-white-characters era" — under the banner of progressive politics while enacting what the poem calls "recidivistic, insular, lonely" cultural retrenchment. "Trauma must be time-stamped and notarized before it can speak through us" is the stanza's sharpest formulation: a culture that requires credentials of suffering before granting the right to imaginative inhabitation of experience has converted empathy into bureaucracy.

The medical and institutional stanzas form their own coherent thread. "Doctors refuse to treat a man who wants to increase his manliness, / but the fuckers jump all over — as if their livelihoods and reputations / depended on it — treating a woman who wants to become a man" extends the transgender stanza's analysis into medical practice, where ideological alignment determines clinical availability in ways the profession does not acknowledge as ideological. "Operated on by a doctor, tempted — / by faith in the efficacy of prayer — / to rely on prayer over training" inverts the usual religious-versus-medical debate: the danger here is not the patient's faith but the doctor's, the professional whose training should be sufficient but who is tempted to substitute spiritual confidence for the competence their patient is paying for. "The violence of the chest compressions / at least reassure onlookers to the CPR / that paramedics did all they could" locates an inverse relationship between clinical effectiveness and social performance — the violence visible to witnesses serves a function distinct from its medical one, managing the grief of onlookers by providing visible evidence of effort.

The installment's most philosophically sustained entry is the trolley-problem variant: "would you rather kill a toddler — cliff-yeeted post anal-pump cum — and forget / (along with everyone else) that you did, or not kill it but spend the rest of your life / with the false memory that you did — sex sleeve murder-blur creampie included?" The grotesque sexual framing is the poem's deliberate contamination of the thought experiment's usual antiseptic conditions. Academic philosophy presents trolley problems in language designed to minimize visceral response and maximize abstract reasoning. By embedding the moral question in explicit sexual violence, the poem forces the reader to confront what philosophy's clean framing suppresses: that moral decisions occur in embodied, often squalid, always contextual human experience, and that the same question asked in different registers may not be the same question at all. The "sex sleeve murder-blur creampie included" is not gratuitous but argumentative — it insists that the phenomenological reality of the act cannot be abstracted away without changing the ethical question being posed.

The depression cluster achieves a sustained psychological precision distributed across several entries. "Mistaking comprehensive depression / for a stroke, unable to pull yourself / out of bed after the usual energy reset" names the specific somatic presentation of severe depression that mimics neurological event — the body so thoroughly arrested that its owner searches for physical explanation because the psychological one feels insufficient to account for the degree of incapacitation. "Savoring a depressive episode, as one / savors a flu, in that it gives an excuse / to take time away from responsibility" follows, without contradiction, as a complementary observation: the same condition that disables can also, in its permission to withdraw, provide something the ordinary structure of obligation never permits. The ambivalence is not hypocrisy but psychological accuracy — the episode is simultaneously genuine suffering and genuine relief, and the poem refuses to rank these experiences or require that one cancel the other.

"Longing for societal collapse, perhaps less from a drive / to die (and kill along the way), and more from a drive / to live what we sense will be lives of purpose and care" is the installment's most surprising and most generous political observation. It reframes apocalypticism not as nihilism or death-drive but as a distorted expression of the hunger for meaningful existence — the suspicion that purpose and genuine community are more available in crisis than in the administered comfort of late capitalism. The poem takes this longing seriously without endorsing its object, which is the sequence's characteristic move: the feeling is real and worth understanding even when the solution it gestures toward is catastrophic.

The final stanzas concentrate the installment's formal energy into a series of images that hold tenderness and precision in equal measure. "The face of one in love — cozy in posture / with a slight smile — viewing back the one / whom she knows to be viewing her in love" is the sequence's most purely observational entry, rendering the specific phenomenology of mutual recognition in love with a care that has no ironic distance. "With their having lived so long with someone that special, / you almost want to tell the grieving family 'Congratulations' / instead of the 'I'm sorry for your loss' drawn from your lips" inverts the grammar of condolence into an acknowledgment that long love is an achievement — that the grief measures something worth measuring. These entries are not anomalies in the sequence's satirical register but its necessary counterweight: the hive's full range includes this.

Formally, Part 90's length and density create a cumulative pressure unlike the earlier installments — the sheer accumulation of categories examined, each in its own compressed space, produces an experience of cognitive saturation that is itself the argument. The reader cannot hold all of it simultaneously, cannot maintain a consistent critical distance across the sequence's full range, and this inability is precisely what the poem is producing: the condition of living inside the hive rather than observing it from outside.

Meta Description

The fourth 2017 installment of the mosaic poem — its most expansive and formally ambitious — pursues the question of category across racial history, medical ideology, progressive literary politics, depression, trolley-problem philosophy, and the grammar of condolence, arguing that every act of classification serves the classifier's needs as much as it describes its object, and that methodological consistency is the one demand the culture most reliably refuses to meet.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, category and power, transracialism transgenderism, MLK Hitler oratory, factory farming and slavery, progressive literary politics, trauma and authorship, depression phenomenology, societal collapse, trolley problem philosophy, medical ideology, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, racial history poetry, condolence and grief, cognitive saturation, fragment poetics

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 89)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 89)

Part 89 is the most politically volatile and formally restless installment of the 2017 sequence, and its governing pressure is the question of complicity — who is implicated in what, how deeply, and whether the implication can be escaped through good intentions, political alignment, or moral self-identification. The sequence returns obsessively to the figure of the person who believes themselves exempt from the systems they inhabit, and it pursues this figure across registers that range from the geopolitical to the sexual to the domestic, refusing to grant any zone of experience the status of clean ground.

The drone stanza — "the nerds now do the killing — via drones" — establishes this pressure immediately. It names a specific historical transformation in the relationship between violence and its agents: the physical removal of the killer from the act of killing, the conversion of warfare into a form of remote technical labor performed by people who would not conventionally be understood as warriors. The "nerds" designation is not contemptuous but precise — it names the class of people whose skills now do what muscles and proximity once did, and whose distance from the act's consequences is the condition of their employment. This connects directly to an earlier installment's observation that "internet to bully, drones to strike — technology severs us from consequences of our actions that otherwise would have ruined sleep." Part 89 compresses that argument into a single image and moves on, trusting the reader to hold its weight across the sequence's subsequent range.

The poem's treatment of sexual experience is characteristically unsparing and characteristically exact. "Play-acting drunk, in a cash-only pinch, because sober sex is too serious" and its later companion "play-acting drunk because who rides a stranger rubberless on the last train home?" and the third iteration involving the mother form a triptych that accumulates into something more than a series of sexual vignettes. Each deployment of the drunk performance serves a different psychological function — the first is about the unbearable weight of full mutual presence in sex; the second is about the permission structure required for genuinely risky behavior; the third is about the protection of a parent from knowledge of her child's sexual life, and the child's performance of innocence as a form of filial care. Together they argue that performed intoxication is a social technology for managing the exposure that genuine encounter requires — a way of creating deniability, distance, and permission simultaneously. That the same performance serves such different functions across such different contexts is itself the observation.

The whore stanza — "the whore dozing mid vanilla fuck, you only lengthen the ordeal / by feeling bad about how long you are taking — either tuck her in / or choke your way into the dehumanization that gets everyone off" — is among the sequence's most deliberately uncomfortable, and its discomfort is structured rather than gratuitous. The stanza addresses the client directly, which is already an unusual move. Its argument is that guilt, in this context, is not a moral corrective but an indulgence — that the client who feels bad about the worker's dissociation is centering his own feeling rather than attending to her situation. "Tuck her in" and "choke your way into the dehumanization that gets everyone off" are offered as alternatives without editorial ranking, which is the stanza's most provocative formal choice. The poem is not endorsing the second option; it is noting that the guilty paralysis of the first is also a form of selfishness, and that the liberal discomfort that produces it is not as morally superior as it presents itself.

The sofa blanket stanza — "the moral alibi of a sofa blanket as you beat off next to the peekaboo toddler" — returns to the setting and logic of "Rectal Raiders Volume 3" in compressed aphoristic form. "Moral alibi" is the exact phrase for what the blanket performs: not protection but the appearance of protection, a gesture toward decency that satisfies the adult's need to believe he is not doing what he is doing. The word "peekaboo" is devastating — a game of concealment and revelation that is also the structure of the blanket's failure. The child sees, or senses, or hears through the alibi. The alibi is for the adult, not the child.

The sequence's political stanzas achieve their sharpest formulation in the racism-and-speech trap: "to fail to use your nonX platform of privilege to speak against racism against X people / is itself racism, and yet to speak too loudly is to elevate your own voice over X-people / as if — in an appalling display of racism — you feel you have the right to speak for them." This is the poem's most precise rendering of a genuine double-bind that operates in progressive political discourse — the structure in which any position available to the non-X person is pre-interpreted as racist, silence and speech alike. The poem does not resolve the bind or mock those caught in it. It describes the bind's architecture with the neutrality of a diagram, which is its own form of critique: a political culture that generates irresolvable double-binds for its own participants is not a culture successfully addressing the problem it claims to address.

"Even white male babies have as much value as crippled black ones — it is just a fad" and "before you shoot up whole theaters on the slide to suicide, remember it is just a fad" deploy the same rhetorical structure across very different targets. "It is just a fad" applied to the mass shooting impulse is the sequence's most provocative and most psychologically serious political stanza. It refuses the usual frameworks — mental illness, gun access, ideological radicalization — in favor of a sociological claim: that mass violence has acquired the structure of a trend, complete with the mimetic transmission, the cultural moment, and the eventual exhaustion that the word "fad" implies. This is not dismissal but diagnosis. The poem is arguing that the spread of mass shooting follows cultural logic as much as psychological logic, and that understanding it as a fad — however uncomfortable that framing — may be more analytically accurate than the frameworks that treat each event as isolated pathology.

"What will the rest of us miss if you do not die?" is the sequence's most vertiginous rhetorical reversal. It takes the conventional suicide-prevention question — what will you miss if you die? — and inverts its address and its content. The question is asked of the potential survivor by the community, and it asks not about the survivor's losses but about the community's. This risks being read as callous, but the poem's intelligence lies elsewhere: the inversion forces the reader to confront the social dimensions of individual dying, to ask whether the framework of suicide prevention has been too exclusively focused on the individual's future experience and insufficiently focused on the relational fabric that both motivates staying and is damaged by leaving. The question is uncomfortable because it is genuine.

The dying-and-medicine cluster extends the sequence's sustained argument about mortality management. "The medical prolongation of dying now a norm that would buoy Goebbels" is the sequence's most extreme formulation of this argument — invoking the Nazi propaganda minister not to equate modern medicine with Nazi ideology but to name the specific feature they share: the management of dying populations according to administrative rather than human logic. "If labor is entrenched as unendurable when epidurals become the norm, imagine what happens with death / when physician-assisted suicide becomes the norm" makes a structurally parallel argument: that medical normalization of pain relief at birth has raised the threshold of tolerable suffering in ways that have cultural consequences, and that the normalization of assisted dying will perform a similar recalibration — with implications the poem does not fully specify but gestures toward with the epidural comparison.

"However noble the activities, escaping / into them does not change that you are / complicit in the family's disintegration" is the stanza that most directly names the sequence's governing theme. Complicity is not canceled by virtue. The goodness of the escape does not change what is being escaped from or what the escape costs. This applies equally to the drone operator whose technical skill is noble in its precision, the client who feels bad about the sex worker's dissociation, the parent who performs innocence for the family's breakfast table, the political actor who navigates the speech double-bind with good faith. The sequence argues, cumulatively, that complicity is the structural condition of contemporary life — not an aberration to be corrected but the water everyone swims in, and that the primary work of moral seriousness is not to escape it but to see it clearly.

The sequence closes on two images that bracket each other with precision. "Awed humble before Mt. Fuji / when above us the whole time / was that colossal void of black" performs a classic sublime reversal: the object of awe is the wrong scale, directed at the wrong object, missing the genuine immensity directly overhead. And "needier for your attention / the more absorbed you are / in what fails to involve them" closes on the most intimate and most ordinary version of the sequence's central argument: that the systems of attention through which we organize our lives consistently misfire, directing care and presence toward the wrong objects while the genuinely present — the person beside you, the void above you — goes unmet. The sequence ends not with resolution but with this image of misdirected attention, which is both its final observation and its final form of self-description.

Meta Description

The third 2017 installment of the mosaic poem presses its aphoristic method into its most politically volatile territory — pursuing the question of complicity across drone warfare, sexual economics, progressive double-binds, mass shooting as cultural fad, and the normalization of medically managed dying, while insisting that good intentions and noble activities leave the structural conditions of implication intact.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, complicity poetry, drone warfare, play-acting drunk, sofa blanket moral alibi, speech double-bind racism, mass shooting as fad, physician-assisted suicide, epidural normalization, dying literacy, aphoristic poetry, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, progressive politics critique, sexual economics poetry, misdirected attention, Mt Fuji sublime, fragment poetics

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 88)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 88)

Part 88 operates under a dominant frequency that distinguishes it from the broader cultural scanning of its companion installments. Where the mosaic form typically distributes attention across the full horizontal range of contemporary experience — politics, technology, race, economics, theology — this installment turns more persistently inward and downward, toward dying, toward the child-self, toward the specific textures of grief, bodily humiliation, estrangement, and the narrow windows in which human beings actually reach each other. Death here is not a subject among subjects but a medium: the element through which nearly every other observation is refracted. The sequence's implicit argument is that a culture without dying-literacy — a term the poem will coin and immediately ironize — mismanages nearly everything downstream from it.

"Sensing the dinosaur in the parrot eye" opens with one of the sequence's most compressed and beautiful observations. It is paleontologically grounded — birds carry the evolutionary inheritance of theropod dinosaurs, the parrot's eye retains that lineage — but the poem deploys this as phenomenological event rather than scientific fact. "Sensing" is the crucial verb: not knowing, not seeing, but the more uncertain and intuitive apprehension of something that cannot be proven and cannot be unfelt. Deep time becomes suddenly visible in the quotidian. The image establishes the sequence's governing temporal mode: the past is not past, evolutionary and geological depth is present in ordinary surfaces, and attention — genuine attention — can crack open into duration far exceeding the human. This is also the poem's implicit claim about its own aphoristic method: the fragment, attending to the apparently trivial, can access something ancient.

"Apologizing to people for crying in front of them" follows with a shift from the cosmological to the acutely social. The apology performs the culture's management of emotional display: tears require explanation, and the explanation takes the form of an apology because the crier has, by cultural convention, imposed something on the witness. The stanza names this without satirizing it — the apology is genuine, the discomfort is real, the convention is internalized. It belongs to a loose cluster across the sequence of observations about the management of feeling under social pressure: the half-hour window before paternal stupor, the children's clothing inked for body identification, the cell check and the torn sanitary pads. Each names a specific site where the private and the institutional collide, usually at the private's expense.

"Sick of seeing family since they mourn you as if already dead" names a specific cruelty internal to anticipatory grief. The family's love expresses itself as premature mourning, which forecloses the present tense of the still-living person. To be mourned before dying is to be erased by the very attention meant to honor you. The poem holds this without adjudication: the family's grief is genuine, and its effect on its object is devastating, and these two facts are not reconcilable. The stanza's particular compression — the word "sick" carrying both emotional exhaustion and the condition that makes the mourning necessary — refuses to let any participant escape cleanly.

"Mothers inking names in their children's clothing for body identification" arrives without editorial framing, and that restraint is the move. The act belongs to contexts of mass casualty — war, siege, displacement, disaster — but the poem renders it in the domestic register of ordinary maternal labor. The intimacy of inking a child's name into a collar, performed in the same gesture as sewing a button, holds the catastrophic and the routine in a single image. The stanza connects to "distracting the kids from daily bomb sirens added to the besieged mother's duties" later in the sequence: a diptych of maternal management under conditions that the poem's probable readership encounters only at a distance, as news. For the mothers in these stanzas, the extraordinary is the ordinary.

"Trying to talk to your father in that half-hour window before after-work stupor" maps a precise domestic topology. The window is not metaphorical but structural: everything a child needs to say or ask or secure fits into this interval or goes unsaid. "After-work stupor" is deliberately unspecified in its cause — alcohol is available as a reading, but so is exhaustion, depression, the simple attrition of daily labor. Children rarely possess clinical explanations for parental unavailability. They possess only the window and its closing.

"Extending forgiveness less because he deserves it than because you deserve peace" reframes forgiveness entirely. Not moral generosity toward the offender but self-interested liberation from the weight of sustained grievance. The "he" remains unspecified — father, lover, assailant, colleague — and the ambiguity is generative rather than evasive. The stanza refuses the vocabulary of virtue in which forgiveness is performed as a gift to its recipient. It insists on the transaction's self-directed logic, which is simultaneously more honest and more morally complicated: forgiveness as hygiene, not grace. The formulation is one the poem does not sentimentalize. It notes the motive without condemning it.

"Simply raising a few fingers from the steering wheel to the man on the corner" is the sequence's most minimal act of human recognition, and its placement gives it weight. The raised fingers are acknowledgment in its cheapest and most widely distributable form: a signal that the man on the corner exists in the driver's field of attention. The poem frames this not as charity but as recognition — the gift of being seen, delivered at negligible cost. That such minimal acknowledgment registers as notable is itself an observation about the scarcity of ordinary recognition.

The Chinese food deliveryman stanza is the sequence's most sustained comedic set piece, and its comedy is analytical. The deliveryman is "disgusted by the thought / that the pizza deliveryman now at his door, dreck / of the American Dream, is making eyes at his daughter." The hierarchy being enforced — the Chinese deliveryman locating the pizza deliveryman below himself on the aspirational ladder, protecting his daughter from a rival claimant — is simultaneously recognizable as human and precise as social observation. "Dreck / of the American Dream" performs the Dream's internal class system: among those the Dream has not yet lifted, fine distinctions of relative elevation are maintained with great seriousness. The stanza does not mock this. It records it with a clarity that is its own form of respect.

"In love it is not obscene for an imperfect being to expect being taken as perfect" is the sequence's most generous formulation. It does not argue that love is delusional but that its central demand — to be received as whole, without remainder, without the deduction of one's faults — is legitimate even for the irreducibly flawed. "Obscene" is carefully chosen: it forestalls the objection that such expectation is narcissistic or unreasonable. The poem insists that making this demand belongs to love's proper grammar. The stanza does not promise the expectation will be met.

The hobo stanza achieves its effects through a single image of sustained precision. "A hobo squatting out shit in an alley, / his great-white-shark eyes unfazed / by high beams glowing them like road signs." The great-white-shark eyes carry a specific biological claim: the shark registers no fear because its nervous system does not model danger the way mammals do. The hobo's unfazed eyes suggest a comparable condition — not courage but the radical attrition of the threat-response through sufficient exposure to exposure itself. The high beams illuminate the eyes "like road signs": directional markers for other travelers, utilitarian, impersonal. The man has been converted by circumstance into infrastructure. The image does not grieve this. It records it exactly.

"Even more concealed it seems, now that we abandon / the distinction between man and deed, is that abyssal / stratum in which we are one even with our antipodes" is the sequence's most philosophically ambitious stanza. The argument is counterintuitive: the progressive move of separating persons from their acts — judging the deed without condemning the doer — paradoxically conceals a deeper stratum in which even our most extreme opposites share our nature. To collapse the man/deed distinction in the name of compassion is to lose sight of what genuine compassion requires: the recognition that the capacity for the deed inheres in the same human nature one shares with its perpetrator. "Antipodes" — those at the opposite pole, the furthest imaginable from us — is the exact term for what the poem insists we cannot finally separate ourselves from.

"What do we hope to avoid by labeling all suicides 'cases of mental illness'?" opens a question the poem declines to close. The label performs specific social work — it pathologizes the act, removes it from the domain of rational choice or social indictment, protects the community from examining what conditions it may have produced. The question does not argue that suicide is rational or that mental illness is not real. It asks what function the label serves beyond clinical description, and what that function costs in terms of honest reckoning. The poem is not the first to ask this question, but its placement — between the prison guard tearing sanitary pads and the stanza about being stuck up for a cross piece — gives it particular force. The question sits among images of institutional violence and desperate vernacular prayer.

"Being stuck up for your cross piece, / unsure if it will even help to yell out, / 'Yo dad — dad it's me, bro: Mikey!'" is the sequence's most startling tonal shift, and its comedy does not cancel its horror. The scenario is robbery at gunpoint; the hostage's appeal to paternal recognition — "it's me, bro: Mikey!" — deploys the casual register of street address in a moment of absolute extremity. The "bro" is simultaneously the idiom of the neighborhood and a genuine appeal to brotherhood, to the recognition that the robber and the robbed share a world in which fathers exist and names matter. Whether this appeal could work is left entirely open. The poem trusts the image to carry its own ambivalence.

The dying cluster is the sequence's thematic center of gravity, distributed across multiple stanzas that accumulate into a sustained argument. "Let your dying be an occasion to bring out the best in onlookers" proposes dying as moral practice — not merely endured but performed, in the older sense of performed: brought to completion, given form. "Do not go to your death as an amateur: attend to dying for the research" extends this into epistemological territory. Dying is available only once and is therefore among the experiences most demanding of full attention — to go as an amateur is to waste the data. "So much dying, but still no dying-literacy — dying-literary, in fact, dying" is the sequence's great pun and its most devastating compressed argument. The wordplay enacts through sound what it argues through sense: the culture's literacy about dying is itself dying, the capacity to read death as a meaningful human event atrophying even as death-as-spectacle proliferates. "How much others could grow, shake / at least that intergenerational grudge / against life, seeing a dying done well!" completes the cluster: a well-attended death is among the most significant transmissions one generation can offer another.

"Only whenever the parents left / his bedside was the child allowed / the knowledge that he was dying" is the sequence's most quietly devastating entry. The parents' protection — their refusal to let the child know — deprives him of the one thing that would allow integration of his own dying. Knowledge of one's death becomes something received alone, in the gap between parental visits. The poem does not condemn the parents. The cost of their protection is named with precision; the motive for it is not disputed.

"In the grand theater of fake fury over the president's hot-mic boast that he 'grabs 'em / by the pussy,' she recast her soirée flex — worn like Cruella fur over years of milking / envy from starstruck primates — as mascara-tear MeToo (ripe with anal embellishment)" is the sequence's most politically volatile stanza, and it requires careful handling that neither flattens it into simple anti-feminist provocation nor insulates it from legitimate challenge. The target is not the MeToo movement but a specific figure of opportunistic appropriation: the socially elevated woman who converts a genuine political moment into personal brand extension, wearing feminist outrage as she has worn other markers of status — instrumentally, performatively, for the room. "Soirée flex," "starstruck primates," "Cruella fur," "anal embellishment" — the diction is deliberately excessive, calibrated to match the excess it diagnoses. The poem risks complicity with exactly the dismissal of women's political speech that it claims to be targeting within a subset. That risk is real and the poem does not resolve it. What it does is insist that the category of opportunistic appropriation exists, that it is not identical to the genuine movement, and that failing to name it out of protective solidarity is its own form of bad faith.

"Living in the time where humans / are becoming outdated need not mean / living in a time where they have no purpose" offers the sequence's most measured response to technological displacement anxiety. The distinction between obsolescence and purposelessness is genuine: a hammer does not cease to have a use when power tools arrive. The stanza refuses both the catastrophism that treats human redundancy as total and the optimism that denies the redundancy is occurring. It holds the middle position without sentimentality.

"Father's hands sudsing your own at the sink" arrives near the sequence's close as one of its most purely imagistic entries. No narrative, no argument — only the sensory memory of a specific domestic intimacy: the father's hands working soap into the child's at the sink, the intergenerational transmission of the simplest hygiene. The image accumulates against the sequence's other father observations — the half-hour window, the Mikey stanza — to suggest a complex paternal presence: unavailable, dangerous, and capable of this.

"That age when a child in the antebellum South / had to face that some of his best playmates / are just commodities — indeed, his very own" closes the sequence on one of its most morally exacting images. The child's developmental task — integrating the knowledge that those he plays with are property, and that some of that property is his — is rendered without historical distance. "His very own" arrives at the line's end with the full weight of possession's obscenity. The stanza does not editorialize. The horror is in the situation exactly described.

The final image — "king-of-the-mountain on dirt mounds / excavated from a mine, draglines / paused in the air for the holidays" — closes on a tableau of industrial and childhood scale superimposed. Children play king-of-the-mountain on the byproduct of extraction; the draglines are paused, enormous and idle, for a human holiday that the machines observe only by stopping. The image is not symbolic so much as exact: two scales of human activity — the child's game, the industrial operation — sharing the same ground, temporarily stilled by the same calendar. The sequence ends not on resolution but on this suspended image of scale, industry, play, and pause — the draglines in the air, going nowhere, waiting for the holiday to end.

Formally, Part 88 achieves its effects through contrast of scale and register more consistently than its companion installments. The cosmological ("sensing the dinosaur in the parrot eye," "microbial stowaways in space rock") sits against the micro-domestic ("father's hands sudsing your own at the sink," "looking for an undo button — / on the counter, on the floor — / after accidentally breaking the mug"). The undo button stanza is among the sequence's most psychologically exact: the reflex to look for a real-world control-Z, the body acting before the mind can correct it, names a form of grief-cognition that everyone has experienced and almost no one has articulated. Its placement among the dying stanzas gives it additional resonance: dying is the irreversible event for which no undo button exists and the body keeps looking anyway.

What Part 88 accumulates into is a sustained meditation on the management of the irreversible — dying badly, dying alone, dying with others present who will not say so, dying in institutional custody, dying with children who must wait for their parents to leave before they can know. The sequence's argument, distributed across its fragments, is that the culture has generated enormous machinery for the avoidance of this reckoning and very little for its conduct. The dying-literacy pun is the sequence's thesis: we are dying-illiterate, and the illiteracy itself is dying. What remains is the dragline in the air, paused, waiting for the holiday to end.

Meta Description

A mosaic poem installment organized around dying as medium rather than subject — moving through paternal estrangement, anticipatory grief, bodily humiliation, institutional violence, and the specific textures of human recognition, while building a sustained argument that the culture's dying-literacy is itself dying, leaving its citizens to face the irreversible without the tools to conduct it.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, dying-literacy, anticipatory grief, paternal estrangement, aphoristic poetry, body identification, institutional violence, MeToo opportunism, antebellum childhood, dying well, dragline imagery, undo button grief, hospice poetry, forgiveness as hygiene, cosmological aphorism, American mortality culture, 2017 poetry, contemporary American poetry, fragment poetics, irreversibility and grief

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 87)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 87)

If the first 2017 installment established the mosaic's method — aphoristic fragment, juxtaposition without bridge, the full bandwidth of a contemporary intelligence scanning its moment — Part 87 extends that method into deeper register while intensifying two of its defining pressures: the poem's willingness to hold moral horror and wry observation in the same breath without resolving either into the other, and its insistence that no subject, however sacred or taboo, is exempt from the same quality of unflinching attention. The result is a sequence that is simultaneously funnier, more disturbing, more theologically ambitious, and more politically volatile than its predecessor — a larger hive, humming at higher frequency.

The poem opens on a motif that will recur throughout: the phone as instrument of self-evasion. "Phones to run to in fear of our own inner world" frames the device not as communication technology but as escape hatch — the contemporary equivalent of whatever humans have always reached for when interiority becomes unbearable. What distinguishes this formulation from standard screen-time critique is its precision about what is being fled. Not boredom, not loneliness, not distraction from productivity, but the inner world specifically — the self's encounter with itself. The phone, in this reading, is a form of self-administered anesthesia. It is placed immediately before "death-metal shirts from Walmart," which performs a different but related operation: the commodification of transgression, the domestication of symbolic violence into retail. The sequence implies that the phone and the death-metal shirt are serving comparable psychological functions — the one fleeing inwardness through distraction, the other performing darkness while purchasing it at mass-market price. Both are forms of managed encounter with what actually terrifies.

"Heavy-panting CO2 suffocation in a submarine sunken to depths beyond rescue" arrives without context — no narrative frame, no named disaster — and this is precisely its force. The image is visceral and total, a sealed environment in which the atmosphere becomes poison, in which waiting and dying are the same activity. Its placement between the Walmart shirt and the food-scarcity stanza creates a pressure gradient: the sequence moves from petty cultural contradiction to absolute physical extremity to systemic deprivation. The submarine image functions as a kind of depth marker — the poem is capable of sounding this far down, and it does so without announcement or ceremony.

"Public school attention scarcity from food scarcity" is one of the sequence's most compressed policy arguments. In four words before the preposition, it names the problem that school reformers, curriculum debates, and attention-deficit diagnoses have collectively failed to adequately address: that cognitive availability is a function of caloric availability, that children cannot attend to what they have not been fed. The stanza does not editorialize. It states the causal chain and moves on, leaving the reader to sit with the institutional failure the chain implies.

"Addicted to the people you hate, the world you are trying to negate" achieves something the poem manages repeatedly: a formulation that sounds epigrammatic but resists reduction to mere wit. The addiction model applied to hatred and negation captures something psychologically real about how opposition can become constitutive of identity — how the world one is against can become the primary structure of one's existence, so that its disappearance would leave not liberation but vacancy. The fragment is related to the later observation that "all this trendy talk of how mere critical speech / does violence — that allows the genuinely violent / to chalk up the claims of their victims to hysteria." Both engage the dynamics of antagonism: how opposition, correctly deployed, can become its own form of power, and how the language of harm can be co-opted to neutralize the testimony of the actually harmed.

The shopping cart girl stanza is among the sequence's most tender, and its tenderness is doing argumentative work. "The curbed elation on the face of the girl in the nest of a shopping cart, / clearly — just by that look she has of patient wonder — a good girl never / asking for much, as her mom hands her a box of rainbow-swirl ice pops." "Curbed elation" is exact: joy that has already learned to moderate itself, to not exceed the dimensions of what is offered. "Patient wonder" suggests a child who has developed equanimity not through abundance but through its absence — who has learned to find the extraordinary in the ordinary because the extraordinary is not otherwise available. "Never asking for much" is simultaneously admirable and devastating: it describes a child who has internalized scarcity as her proper scope. The "rainbow-swirl ice pops" arrive with the full specific weight of their cheap, cheerful, adequate reality. This is not pathos performed from outside. It is observation performed with care.

The self-talk stanza operates by stark juxtaposition with the external: "we would be horrified hearing someone say to another, / 'You're just too fucking fat for anyone to like you' — / yet we think nothing of it when we say it to ourselves." The horror, structurally, is that the internal register is not merely permitted but normalized, even encouraged in the language of self-improvement and honest self-assessment. The stanza implicates the wellness culture that appears elsewhere in the larger project: the same health-minded apparatus that restricts screens and theorizes fat praise generates, in its shadow, a vicious internal jurisprudence that would be immediately recognizable as abuse if externalized. The poem does not moralize the point. It simply performs the comparison.

The hospice stanza — "how is the mother ever to insist that the child, / cradled in a lap of her hospiced father for perhaps / the last time before cremation, go off to bed?" — achieves its force through the collision of the routine and the terminal. Bedtime is among the most ordinary of parental imperatives; its enforcement requires the willful interruption of a moment of irreplaceable tenderness. The question is genuinely unanswerable. The poem does not answer it. It holds the impossibility open without resolution, which is the only honest response available to it.

"Love, yes, creates death but death creates so much love — all-you-can-eat crab buffet" is the sequence's most tonally audacious move. The dialectical observation — that love generates mortal vulnerability, that death generates an intensity and generosity of feeling otherwise unavailable — is philosophically serious. The "all-you-can-eat crab buffet" appended to it refuses to let the observation aestheticize itself. The excess and the vulgarity and the democracy of the buffet — anyone can come, anyone can eat beyond reasonable limit — are brought to bear on the economy of grief-love. The buffet image is not mockery; it is a genuine extension of the claim, an insistence that death's love-generating power is not refined or selective but abundant and indiscriminate, available to all comers. The tonal collision enacts the argument.

The AI stanza — "that which evolves from us with enough / intelligence to mock us with penetration, / righteousness, superior to any human artist" — is among the more prescient in the sequence, written in 2017 when this was still largely speculative. What distinguishes it from standard AI anxiety is the specific verb: "mock." The intelligence that emerges from human data is imagined as satirist, not destroyer or assistant — something that has absorbed human culture fully enough to turn it back on us with greater accuracy and moral clarity than we bring to ourselves. "Righteousness" is the charged term: the AI achieves not merely technical superiority but an ethical vantage point from which human behavior is legible in its full contradiction. Whether this is to be feared or desired the poem does not say. The ambivalence is structural.

The theological stanzas form the sequence's most sustained philosophical argument, distributed across multiple entries. "Technically, the existence of a being worthy of a title / such as 'God' must be up to that being alone — / not something else (other-caused) or nothing (uncaused)" constitutes a compressed ontological argument that sidesteps the traditional Anselmian route. The claim is not that God necessarily exists but that the logical preconditions for the title require a self-caused being — one that cannot be derived from prior causes or from nothing. The "technically" is doing significant work: it acknowledges that this is a logical rather than experiential or revelatory claim, and it distances the speaker from full endorsement while establishing the internal coherence of the position. The dead-gods stanza extends this into comparative theology: "all the gods of once good standing, add them / to those of now good standing that believers reject — / yeah, we have a lot of dead gods on our hands." The argument is familiar from Enlightenment religious critique but the tone — "yeah," the casual accounting — strips it of its usual triumphalist atheism. The gods are dead, but their accumulated number is treated as a matter of wry inventory rather than liberation. The poem is not celebrating secular reason. It is noting what belief has historically produced and what it continues to produce, without declaring a victor.

"Feeling horrible about being bored by the bible — yawning even through passages / where God commands the slaughter of every Canaanite that breathes, including / babies nursing at the tit, for their love of bestiality and incest and child sacrifice" is the sequence's most sustained theological dark comedy. The horror is layered: the speaker feels guilt for boredom, when the appropriate response to the content might be moral outrage rather than boredom, and the content that provokes the boredom is itself among the most morally troubling in the canon. The stanza does not argue that the Bible is wrong, or that God does not exist, or that believers are foolish. It dramatizes the gap between the text's assumed sacred status and the phenomenological reality of reading it — a gap in which moral horror and aesthetic tedium collapse into each other.

"Imagine the potential horrors if people / really did believe in a paradise after death, / loving death as the rest of us love life" closes the sequence on its most chilling speculative note. The stanza does not argue that afterlife belief is false. It argues that the full logical consequence of sincere belief in paradise — genuinely loving death as the rest of us love life — would produce horrors that existing religious culture, in its partial and socially moderated forms of belief, manages to avoid. The horror is not in the belief itself but in its full actualization: a world in which death is the goal, not the threat. This connects directly to the earlier fatwa stanza — "fatwas against suicide bombings conveniently unreported" — and together they form the sequence's most sustained engagement with religious violence, approached not through outrage but through the cold logic of what sincere belief, fully acted upon, would actually require.

The sequence's formal range — from two-line observations to six-line narrative fragments, from single nouns ("bum tans," "sexually transmitted fleas") to sustained conditional arguments — refuses any single modality. The ultra-compressed entries are not merely aphorisms but pressure-points: "homes with only two spoons," "sincere as pig shrieks," "chest freezers in mudrooms" — images that carry entire social and economic worlds in a phrase. The single-noun and two-word entries operate differently from the extended tercets: they are the poem breathing in sharply before the longer exhalations. The rhythm of the sequence enacts the associative movement of consciousness through a day, a news cycle, a lifetime of accumulated observation — never settling into any register long enough to become that register's prisoner.

Part 87 of "Made for You and Me" is the hive at full roar: funnier than its predecessor, more dangerous, more theologically engaged, more willing to hold tenderness and grotesquerie in the same breath. It extends the project's fundamental wager — that an intelligence willing to look at everything without deciding in advance what deserves seriousness will produce, in the aggregate, a more honest account of its moment than any curated lyric or organized argument can. The hive does not editorialize. It hums at every frequency simultaneously and trusts the reader to hear what they are capable of hearing.

Meta Description

The second installment of the 2017 portion of "Made for You and Me" extends the mosaic poem's aphoristic method into deeper theological, political, and psychological territory — moving from AI prophecy and dead-gods inventory to shopping-cart tenderness and biblical dark comedy, holding the full range of contemporary consciousness without deciding in advance which of its contents deserves the most serious attention.

Keywords

Made for You and Me, hive Being, mosaic poem, aphoristic poetry, theological satire, dead gods, AI and mockery, food scarcity attention, self-talk and abuse, hospice poetry, afterlife horror, religious violence logic, fat shame, suicide bombing fatwas, shopping cart poverty, all-you-can-eat buffet grief, contemporary American poetry, 2017 poetry, cultural fragment poetry, phone and interiority, death-metal Walmart, CO2 submarine, biblical dark comedy, Canaanite slaughter poetry

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MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 86)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

MADE FOR YOU AND ME 2: hive Being (Stanzas 2017--part 86)

This installment of Made for You and Me operates through a form that might be described as aphoristic accumulation. Unlike a conventional lyric poem that develops a single scene, voice, or argument, the poem advances by juxtaposition, placing observation beside observation until larger patterns emerge from their interaction. The individual fragments often appear unrelated on first reading—a midnight train whistle, a pregnancy test, a therapist unable to hug a child, a pilot describing an unidentified aircraft—but as the sequence unfolds, recurring concerns begin to reveal themselves. The poem becomes a sustained meditation on self-deception, moral inconsistency, technological transformation, mortality, and the often painful distance between comforting narratives and material realities.

One of the poem's central preoccupations is humanity's tendency to elevate desires into truths. This concern appears explicitly in the fragment “elevating a hope into a truth,” but the insight reverberates throughout the sequence. The line about “fossils contradicting scripture, in place to test our faith” exemplifies the phenomenon. The speaker is less interested in theology itself than in the psychological maneuver by which contradictory evidence is reinterpreted so that a preexisting belief remains intact. Similar dynamics appear in “trying to prove otherwise to naysayers at least might result / in your religion ... actually transforming into one of peace,” where belief systems are shown to evolve not solely from doctrine but from the social pressure exerted by criticism. Again and again, the poem returns to the gap between what people want to be true and what they are willing to acknowledge as true.

Closely related to this concern is the poem's fascination with rationalization. Many of its most memorable fragments expose the subtle ways individuals preserve preferred narratives despite overwhelming counterevidence. “More realistic this time, his promise is never to hit her again full force” captures in miniature the logic of abusive compromise, where a moral failure is not abandoned but merely moderated. Likewise, the devastating observation that “the mother scrubs the soap but not the boyfriend; changes the diet / but not the company she fucks” presents a portrait of misdirected causality. The poem repeatedly identifies situations in which enormous effort is expended addressing symptoms while obvious underlying causes remain untouched.

This skepticism extends beyond personal relationships into broader cultural and political domains. The fragment asking whether “losing your job, even being fined, / for accidentally failing to use / a preferred pronoun—is that a bad sign?” is not presented as a settled answer but as an invitation to examine the proportionality of social sanctions. Similarly, the observation that “how could it be craziness if everyone participates in it?” interrogates the relationship between consensus and truth. Throughout the poem, widespread acceptance is treated not as proof but as a phenomenon requiring scrutiny.

A second major theme involves the instability of concepts such as “natural” and “unnatural.” The sequence repeatedly returns to these categories only to dissolve them. The declaration that “what is ‘natural’ for us is to expand the universe of what is natural” functions almost as a thesis statement. Human beings are distinguished precisely by their refusal to remain within inherited limits. This idea reappears later in “some say that it is unnatural / to extend life, but as humans / it seems unnatural not to try to.” The poem's argument is not that everything humans do is natural in some simplistic sense, but that humanity's defining characteristic may be its perpetual modification of its own conditions of existence.

Technology occupies a particularly important place in this inquiry. The poem imagines “a new world of technology where what causes pleasure is not so harmful anymore,” while elsewhere describing “heroic doses of hallucinogens from which you do not know if you will ever get back.” Such lines reveal a recurring concern with the relationship between desire and consequence. Human history appears as a continual effort to secure rewards while minimizing costs, yet the poem remains uncertain whether such a project can ever fully succeed.

Mortality forms another organizing principle beneath the sequence's apparent fragmentation. The “midnight train whistle, too distant to jar you from dozing,” the scholars “itinerating cemeteries for the epitaphs,” and the “revolutionary change in your relationship with mortality” all contribute to an atmosphere haunted by finitude. Yet unlike many meditations on death, the poem's interest lies less in mortality itself than in the narratives humans construct around it. The striking observation that “that God is dead to us is perhaps most manifest / when even devout beloveds scoff with skepticism / at our claim of a spiritual bond with them” suggests that secularization reveals itself not only through declining religious practice but through changing assumptions about intimacy, transcendence, and meaning.

The poem is equally attentive to the distortions produced by media and language. One of its finest moments recounts how a pilot's statement that an unidentified aircraft “moved in a skipping fashion, / like if you wung a tea saucer across a pond” became condensed by journalists into “Pilot sees flying saucers.” The fragment illustrates how description becomes narrative and narrative becomes myth. Human beings do not merely encounter reality; they continuously reshape it through language. The poem's form itself reflects this insight, offering snapshots rather than comprehensive accounts and thereby forcing readers to participate in the construction of meaning.

A particularly rich tension emerges between symbolic and anti-symbolic modes of thought. The line “details in an anti-symbolist poem accruing symbolic weight” functions as a kind of metafictional commentary on the sequence itself. The poem often presents observations in a deliberately direct or literal manner, yet the cumulative effect is profoundly symbolic. Individual fragments become representative of broader human tendencies, and the reader inevitably begins connecting them into thematic constellations. The poem acknowledges that meaning-making may be unavoidable even when one consciously resists it.

The sequence's emotional power derives largely from its refusal to divide humanity into heroes and villains. Even its harshest observations tend to reveal common psychological mechanisms rather than exceptional depravity. The person holding a non-alcoholic beer merely to avoid explaining sobriety, the individual anxious after sleeping through part of the day, the parent weaponizing divine authority, the activist, the addict, the believer, and the skeptic all occupy the same moral landscape. The poem's gaze is unsparing but rarely self-righteous. It treats human beings as creatures continually improvising explanations for themselves while struggling to navigate desires, fears, and social pressures they only partially understand.

Ultimately, this section of Made for You and Me is less a collection of observations than an anatomy of consciousness. Its fragments repeatedly expose the mechanisms through which people construct meaning, justify actions, maintain identities, and evade uncomfortable truths. The mosaic form proves especially suited to this project because it mirrors the structure of thought itself: discontinuous, associative, contradictory, and yet capable of generating larger patterns. What emerges is a portrait of humanity as a species suspended between self-deception and self-awareness, forever inventing stories while periodically glimpsing the realities those stories were designed to conceal.

Meta Description

A philosophical mosaic poem examining self-deception, rationalization, mortality, technology, belief, language, and humanity's persistent tendency to transform desires into truths.

Keywords

mosaic poetry, aphoristic poetry, self-deception, rationalization, mortality, belief systems, technology and humanity, social criticism, philosophical poetry, contemporary poetry analysis, symbolic meaning, language and perception, human nature, skepticism, ideology, modernity, consciousness, cultural critique, existential reflection, fragment poetry

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Crank Shaft (ROUND 2)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Crank Shaft (ROUND 2)

“Crank Shaft” is a story about collision—not merely the collision between a child and a car, but the collision between desire and catastrophe, narcissism and grief, private fantasy and public reality. Its central achievement lies in its refusal to arrange these forces into a morally reassuring hierarchy. The narrator witnesses the death of a young boy while masturbating to the boy’s mother, and the story's power emerges from its insistence that the resulting psychic landscape is not one of simple guilt, remorse, or redemption. Instead, the narrator enters a state of profound ontological suspension in which ordinary motivations, judgments, and desires lose their coherence.

The title is crucial. “Crank Shaft” immediately invokes multiple registers at once. It suggests masturbation ("cranking"), machinery, rotational force, and the transmission of energy. A crankshaft converts linear motion into rotational motion and vice versa. The story is similarly concerned with the conversion of one kind of psychic energy into another. Sexual desire becomes guilt. Guilt becomes paralysis. Paralysis becomes something approaching mystical stillness. Throughout the narrative, forces continue moving through the narrator long after the event itself has concluded.

The opening establishes this state of suspension:

I have not gotten up from the curb.

The sentence is deceptively simple. The narrator's refusal—or inability—to move becomes the story's governing image. Everything afterward unfolds from this fixed point. The body remains stationary while consciousness drifts through memory, fantasy, self-interrogation, and increasingly strange forms of perception.

The story's treatment of time is especially important. Chronological time continues. The sun remains high. The day advances. Yet subjective time has broken apart.

Much more day remains. Yet the stillness is of twilight, an alien twilight.

The phrase "alien twilight" captures the story's central atmosphere. Twilight normally signifies transition. Here, however, it appears in the middle of the day. The world has become temporally dislocated. Categories no longer align with experience.

This dislocation spreads outward into the environment itself. The neighborhood becomes unnaturally quiet. Dogs stop barking. Squirrels stop moving. Even a feral cat behaves differently. The story does not ask the reader to believe that nature has literally responded to the boy's death. Rather, it depicts a consciousness projecting its own rupture onto the surrounding world.

The result resembles what phenomenologists describe as a transformation in the structure of lived experience. The narrator is not simply observing a quieter neighborhood. He inhabits a reality whose very texture has changed.

The feral cat sequence deepens this theme.

Ordinarily the cat comes running.

Ordinarily the cat seeks affection.

Ordinarily familiar routines persist.

Instead:

he slinks back into coverage.

The cat becomes an image of instinctive withdrawal. Unlike the narrator, who remains trapped at the scene, the animal responds appropriately to danger. The narrator repeatedly attributes forms of wisdom to nonhuman creatures throughout the story. Animals seem attuned to realities humans miss or ignore.

This concern culminates in one of the story's most revealing observations:

all of us fight to ignore—if only for what it says about us, not just as stewards of nature but as members no less embedded than any other.

The line gestures toward a worldview in which human beings are not separate from nature but participants within it. The narrator's catastrophe strips away ordinary illusions of separateness. Human beings become animals among animals.

Yet the story's most daring move lies elsewhere.

The narrator's sexual desire does not disappear after the boy's death.

Indeed, it persists.

The lengthy recollections of the mother's body, the flirtatious dynamic across the street, and the narrator's masturbatory fixation are not narrative distractions. They are the story's central psychological challenge.

Most fiction would force a moral conversion here. The death of the child would instantly extinguish desire. The narrator would become purified through tragedy.

Instead, desire survives.

Even after witnessing the accident, the narrator imagines comforting the mother sexually:

I pictured myself slurping the mom

I pictured whispering "I'm gonna give you another baby"

These fantasies are shocking not because they reveal monstrousness but because they reveal continuity. Human consciousness does not conveniently reorganize itself around moral expectations. Sexual desire, grief, self-interest, pity, shame, and fantasy coexist.

The story repeatedly refuses to sort them into separate compartments.

This refusal gives the narrative its psychoanalytic depth.

Freud frequently emphasized that traumatic events do not necessarily eliminate desire. More often, trauma creates bizarre juxtapositions in which incompatible impulses occupy the same psychic space. The narrator's erotic fantasies become unbearable precisely because they persist alongside genuine horror.

The resulting shame becomes one thread among many rather than the story's defining center.

In fact, one of the most remarkable features of the narrative is how shame gradually loses its force.

Thought after thought arises:

sympathy for me

neighbors perhaps looking out their blinds

an offering of sorts

The narrator continually generates explanations for why he remains on the curb. Yet each explanation dissolves.

The story systematically dismantles psychological interpretation.

Every motive appears plausible.

Every motive appears insufficient.

The narrator eventually arrives at a state beyond motive altogether.

This movement forms the story's philosophical core.

What begins as guilt gradually transforms into something closer to ego dissolution.

The final pages depict a consciousness being emptied out:

Now I am mostly empty.

The sentence marks a profound shift. Earlier sections overflow with fantasy, memory, rationalization, and self-consciousness. By the end, the internal machinery has begun shutting down.

The image of gears is significant:

The deep gears I have always known to spin have stopped.

This may be the story's most important line.

The narrator has spent the entire narrative trapped inside mechanisms of desire, fantasy, interpretation, and self-concern. Those mechanisms finally cease operating.

The title returns here with transformed meaning.

The crankshaft no longer turns.

The engine has stalled.

Yet what replaces it is not despair.

Instead, the story enters a state approaching mystical absorption:

I can feel the planet's core latched to my bones

I feel one with the tree, one with the buzzing wire.

This language evokes traditions ranging from mystical quietism to certain forms of ecological consciousness. The narrator experiences himself not as an isolated individual but as part of a larger field of being.

Importantly, this state does not arrive through enlightenment.

It arrives through catastrophe.

The death of the child functions as an involuntary spiritual event. It strips away ordinary psychic activity, leaving behind a bare encounter with existence itself.

The story's final insight is therefore neither moral nor theological.

The narrator never discovers a lesson.

He never redeems himself.

He never achieves forgiveness.

Instead, he encounters a temporary condition in which desire, shame, fantasy, ambition, and self-justification are swallowed by a deeper stillness.

The tragedy does not make him better.

It makes him smaller.

And within that reduction, he experiences something he has perhaps never known before: a world no longer organized around himself.

“Crank Shaft” is ultimately a story about the collapse of psychic machinery. It begins with a man absorbed in private appetite and ends with a consciousness suspended between grief, exhaustion, and transcendence. Its subject is not guilt but interruption—the sudden stopping of the mechanisms through which a self ordinarily sustains its place in the world. What remains after that stoppage is terrifying, humbling, and strangely beautiful.

Meta Description

A philosophical and psychoanalytic story about a child's accidental death, the persistence of desire amid catastrophe, ego dissolution, traumatic stillness, and the collapse of the psychic machinery that organizes ordinary consciousness.

Keywords

trauma fiction, psychoanalytic literature, ego dissolution, catastrophic witness, guilt and desire, traumatic stillness, phenomenology of grief, erotic fixation, death and consciousness, existential fiction, moral ambiguity, psychic paralysis, ecological consciousness, shame and fantasy, traumatic interruption, literary realism, ontological crisis, contemporary literary fiction, desire after tragedy, philosophical fiction

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Visit my Substack: Hive Being

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Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)


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